Guac and queso if you make over $450k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now that I have the freedom to spend, I couldn’t care less about those little extras, but I hate getting fleeced on shoes and clothes. Even upmarket, designer items are crap quality now. I do side-eye people paying for designer goods, or even worse, the overpriced non-designer wannabe high-end poorly made stuff (Alo, Aritzia, etc).

Same!!

[Anonymous]

I so rich I let my kids two of each and let them the extra one in trash

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

I'm not sure I agree with you and pp. People here aren't flaunting wealth by adding guac. I think some people really are just saying "don't sweat the small stuff." This isn't equivalent to replacing a shed. It's equivalent to the age old argument of buying coffee, which many people have pointed out is a fallacy when other stuff is so expensive.

I add guac because I like it. If my kids wanted to, I don't think I'd make a big proclamation about how it's extra because like others have mentioned my kids know/learn this over time, and now as adults. Besides, life is about splurging sometimes, and so many people on DCUM forget this.

No one ever said this (bold).

You obviously are of the second mindset (Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings) because of the underlined.

The truth is buying coffee out IS expensive over time. There is no fallacy about that. Just a single large black Sbux coffee once a week before tax and tip (if you tip) is $3.15. That’s $163/year. Now add that gas example upthread using the number there of $30 every 2.5 weeks extra for not driving a mile to a cheaper station. That’s $624 extra for one car. If two people in a family do this (plain coffee 1/week each + more expensive gas), you’re at $1574 on two tiny things. This is how things add up and it’s a mindset so it multiplies over expenses/savings across lits of choices. Over the years, it’s a car or large mortgage payments, etc.

You can’t argue against the fact the little unnecessary expenses add up over time although you can be of the mindset that you don’t care. One final point: I think that those who don’t try to find ways to save believe living like that is the same as living a bleak life (why can’t your kid get double chicken or two sauces or the healthy guac)? It is this thought that adds to your mindset of splurging over saving more.

Can you not read??? PP said, "I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly)."

David Bach's latte factor has its critics because healthcare, mortgages, and taxes have all outpaced salaries. Please see Elizabeth Warren's two-income trap. Let's focus on the big stuff, shall we? Saving $163/year isn't a big deal. Stop assuming that all people are doing it all.

I just see more scolding here, and you glossed right over my recommendation that DCUM live a little. I very well remember a woman here not too long ago who was freaking out that her DH bought Starbucks at the airport, on HIS VACATION.

And exhibit A ^^^ to the post you’re responding to that said that something about the non-mindful spenders believe the others have a bleak life. Think about people wealthier than you who fly private. If they looked at you and thought you lived a bleak life because you flew commercial, it isn’t accurate even though would never want to do that and think it would be terribly unpleasant.

This mindset really doesn’t impact people who are aware of spending and set more boundaries around wants. In fact, it bothers them to waste money, just as it bothers you to not have what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a good encapsulation of how many of us feel, all the time.

We have >$4 million in total net assets, including retirement accounts, home equity, 529s, etc. But we're actually not saving much this year in liquid/taxable accounts, because our spending has increased (and because we don't really count the retirement contributions and 529 contributions as savings).

A lot of our spending is unnecessary - kids' sport activities, birthday parties, vacations, landscaping, takeout.

Guac at Chipotle is a representative, small symbol of the bigger stuff:

--How do we decide whether to buy World Cup tickets? We will all remember it for a long time if we go, but the tickets feel ridiculously overpriced for a 90-minute game.

--Do we stay at the nicer hotel, when there is a perfectly fine, mid-range hotel that fits us?

--Do we replace the backyard shed that looks bad but is perfectly fine for its purpose? Or wait another three years before doing that?

--Or the kids all play travel $occer, but should we pay an extra $600 each for the summer league where half the practices will get canceled for heat / thunderstorms, and we will miss some practices and games for vacation?

We could do all of the above or none of the above, and I'm not sure it would impact the timing of our retirement or anything else. But what do the kids take away from this mindset?

Op here. Yes, exactly. I spent a fair amount of time debating World Cup tix but my soccer kid wasn't invested, so we are skipping. I have decided I shouldn't be invested in things for them more than they are.

I really wanted to get my dd to taylor swift, but I just couldn't justify the cost for how young she was at the time.

We decided to skip super y these past few years. Just not worth it with climate change.

It's a constant struggle to figure out which things to pick and choose.

Now it's obvious OP is a troll at worst, foolish at best. Yes, let's teach our kids the value of $$ by lecturing them about the extra $3 for guac at Chipotle, and then let's take her to see Taylor Swift!

Never change DCUM!

One is a unique and familial bonding experience that results in treasured memories. One adds almost nothing to even the few moments it exists before it is gone.

You’re purposefully trying to mock this person for evaluating what is a meaningful thing to spend money on. She never said she lives a miserly life of all drab because she can’t ever spend money on a want.

Grow up.

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can not read all these posts but I'll add this.

We make about 520K/year. Tonight I got Cava for me and DS. He asked for double chicken. I got a regular bowl. It was a ton of chicken and I mentioned that the total was $27. He said "Oh wow. I won't get double chicken again, it's too much even though it's a lot of chicken." And he'll hold to that, he's just like that.

THAT made me feel like I did something right.

Just like I said, kids aren’t idiots. They’ll learn

Because the mom mentioned the price. The family can afford double chicken but it is wise to ensure your kids grow up valuing money esp in relation to what is being purchased and where. Had the mom said nothing about the cost, the kid would have ordered double chicken whenever…

He didn’t learn it in his own. Good job, mom!

But did he eat all the chicken? Did he enjoy it? Why deprive him of food he likes, that he is hungry for, and his growing body probably needs just… to teach him a lesson? Are you going to buy the appropriate amount of chicken at home in the future, or continue to go out to eat but not buy him an appropriate amount of food?

Double chicken mom here. Yes, he ate it all but he didn't have lunch. Knowing him, he will not get it as a standard "want" in the future, but if he's very hungry he would. Which is fine. He even mentioned before that at Chipotle you can get double rice for free which is a good hack when you're hungry as opposed to paying for more meat. Trust me, this kid isn't starving. We just talk to him about money a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

I'm not sure I agree with you and pp. People here aren't flaunting wealth by adding guac. I think some people really are just saying "don't sweat the small stuff." This isn't equivalent to replacing a shed. It's equivalent to the age old argument of buying coffee, which many people have pointed out is a fallacy when other stuff is so expensive.

I add guac because I like it. If my kids wanted to, I don't think I'd make a big proclamation about how it's extra because like others have mentioned my kids know/learn this over time, and now as adults. Besides, life is about splurging sometimes, and so many people on DCUM forget this.

No one ever said this (bold).

You obviously are of the second mindset (Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings) because of the underlined.

The truth is buying coffee out IS expensive over time. There is no fallacy about that. Just a single large black Sbux coffee once a week before tax and tip (if you tip) is $3.15. That’s $163/year. Now add that gas example upthread using the number there of $30 every 2.5 weeks extra for not driving a mile to a cheaper station. That’s $624 extra for one car. If two people in a family do this (plain coffee 1/week each + more expensive gas), you’re at $1574 on two tiny things. This is how things add up and it’s a mindset so it multiplies over expenses/savings across lits of choices. Over the years, it’s a car or large mortgage payments, etc.

You can’t argue against the fact the little unnecessary expenses add up over time although you can be of the mindset that you don’t care. One final point: I think that those who don’t try to find ways to save believe living like that is the same as living a bleak life (why can’t your kid get double chicken or two sauces or the healthy guac)? It is this thought that adds to your mindset of splurging over saving more.

NP-There are also people like me who are generally frugal (I make my own coffee, do my own hair, yard work...) and that's precisely why when we do go out and get something we want it to be the exact way we like it. I don't go to Chipotle, but if I'm having sushi, I'm not going to get a california roll instead of the roll I actually want to save a few bucks. To me it would not be worth it paying any money at all for something I don't want as much and it would be a bad economic decision. And I tell my dcs the same: save your money and spend it on what you actually truly want, not a bunch of blah things here and there.

No, you’re still one of the people in the second group: Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

You make your own coffee and do your own hair and yard work, etc. it’s just with going out to eat, that’s not a place you chose to cut back on.

I do "cut back" in the sense I very very rarely eat out. So when I do go out it has to be special. I will still spend much less per year than the people who don't get what they want but go out often.

This is not only a wise approach, but shows even more you’re in the second group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

I'm not sure I agree with you and pp. People here aren't flaunting wealth by adding guac. I think some people really are just saying "don't sweat the small stuff." This isn't equivalent to replacing a shed. It's equivalent to the age old argument of buying coffee, which many people have pointed out is a fallacy when other stuff is so expensive.

I add guac because I like it. If my kids wanted to, I don't think I'd make a big proclamation about how it's extra because like others have mentioned my kids know/learn this over time, and now as adults. Besides, life is about splurging sometimes, and so many people on DCUM forget this.

No one ever said this (bold).

You obviously are of the second mindset (Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings) because of the underlined.

The truth is buying coffee out IS expensive over time. There is no fallacy about that. Just a single large black Sbux coffee once a week before tax and tip (if you tip) is $3.15. That’s $163/year. Now add that gas example upthread using the number there of $30 every 2.5 weeks extra for not driving a mile to a cheaper station. That’s $624 extra for one car. If two people in a family do this (plain coffee 1/week each + more expensive gas), you’re at $1574 on two tiny things. This is how things add up and it’s a mindset so it multiplies over expenses/savings across lits of choices. Over the years, it’s a car or large mortgage payments, etc.

You can’t argue against the fact the little unnecessary expenses add up over time although you can be of the mindset that you don’t care. One final point: I think that those who don’t try to find ways to save believe living like that is the same as living a bleak life (why can’t your kid get double chicken or two sauces or the healthy guac)? It is this thought that adds to your mindset of splurging over saving more.

Can you not read??? PP said, "I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly)."

David Bach's latte factor has its critics because healthcare, mortgages, and taxes have all outpaced salaries. Please see Elizabeth Warren's two-income trap. Let's focus on the big stuff, shall we? Saving $163/year isn't a big deal. Stop assuming that all people are doing it all.

I just see more scolding here, and you glossed right over my recommendation that DCUM live a little. I very well remember a woman here not too long ago who was freaking out that her DH bought Starbucks at the airport, on HIS VACATION.

And exhibit A ^^^ to the post you’re responding to that said that something about the non-mindful spenders believe the others have a bleak life. Think about people wealthier than you who fly private. If they looked at you and thought you lived a bleak life because you flew commercial, it isn’t accurate even though would never want to do that and think it would be terribly unpleasant.

This mindset really doesn’t impact people who are aware of spending and set more boundaries around wants. In fact, it bothers them to waste money, just as it bothers you to not have what you want.

No, the “people aware of spending” in this thread ONLY care about the small potatoes (fast casual restaurant side items, cheap gas, etc.) but they waste PLENTY of money on the big ticket items
(houses, cars, education, etc.)

If pretending to be frugal while living in a 3000 sqft house, driving an SUV, and sending your kids to private out of state college is what floats your boat, have at it!

I’ll just live a reasonable life and let my kids have the guac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

I'm not sure I agree with you and pp. People here aren't flaunting wealth by adding guac. I think some people really are just saying "don't sweat the small stuff." This isn't equivalent to replacing a shed. It's equivalent to the age old argument of buying coffee, which many people have pointed out is a fallacy when other stuff is so expensive.

I add guac because I like it. If my kids wanted to, I don't think I'd make a big proclamation about how it's extra because like others have mentioned my kids know/learn this over time, and now as adults. Besides, life is about splurging sometimes, and so many people on DCUM forget this.

No one ever said this (bold).

You obviously are of the second mindset (Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings) because of the underlined.

The truth is buying coffee out IS expensive over time. There is no fallacy about that. Just a single large black Sbux coffee once a week before tax and tip (if you tip) is $3.15. That’s $163/year. Now add that gas example upthread using the number there of $30 every 2.5 weeks extra for not driving a mile to a cheaper station. That’s $624 extra for one car. If two people in a family do this (plain coffee 1/week each + more expensive gas), you’re at $1574 on two tiny things. This is how things add up and it’s a mindset so it multiplies over expenses/savings across lits of choices. Over the years, it’s a car or large mortgage payments, etc.

You can’t argue against the fact the little unnecessary expenses add up over time although you can be of the mindset that you don’t care. One final point: I think that those who don’t try to find ways to save believe living like that is the same as living a bleak life (why can’t your kid get double chicken or two sauces or the healthy guac)? It is this thought that adds to your mindset of splurging over saving more.

Can you not read??? PP said, "I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly)."

David Bach's latte factor has its critics because healthcare, mortgages, and taxes have all outpaced salaries. Please see Elizabeth Warren's two-income trap. Let's focus on the big stuff, shall we? Saving $163/year isn't a big deal. Stop assuming that all people are doing it all.

I just see more scolding here, and you glossed right over my recommendation that DCUM live a little. I very well remember a woman here not too long ago who was freaking out that her DH bought Starbucks at the airport, on HIS VACATION.

And exhibit A ^^^ to the post you’re responding to that said that something about the non-mindful spenders believe the others have a bleak life. Think about people wealthier than you who fly private. If they looked at you and thought you lived a bleak life because you flew commercial, it isn’t accurate even though would never want to do that and think it would be terribly unpleasant.

This mindset really doesn’t impact people who are aware of spending and set more boundaries around wants. In fact, it bothers them to waste money, just as it bothers you to not have what you want.

No, the “people aware of spending” in this thread ONLY care about the small potatoes (fast casual restaurant side items, cheap gas, etc.) but they waste PLENTY of money on the big ticket items
(houses, cars, education, etc.)

If pretending to be frugal while living in a 3000 sqft house, driving an SUV, and sending your kids to private out of state college is what floats your boat, have at it!

I’ll just live a reasonable life and let my kids have the guac.

This is your mindset. Your way is the only one based on good decision making and results in a reasonable life.

Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

I'm not sure I agree with you and pp. People here aren't flaunting wealth by adding guac. I think some people really are just saying "don't sweat the small stuff." This isn't equivalent to replacing a shed. It's equivalent to the age old argument of buying coffee, which many people have pointed out is a fallacy when other stuff is so expensive.

I add guac because I like it. If my kids wanted to, I don't think I'd make a big proclamation about how it's extra because like others have mentioned my kids know/learn this over time, and now as adults. Besides, life is about splurging sometimes, and so many people on DCUM forget this.

No one ever said this (bold).

You obviously are of the second mindset (Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings) because of the underlined.

The truth is buying coffee out IS expensive over time. There is no fallacy about that. Just a single large black Sbux coffee once a week before tax and tip (if you tip) is $3.15. That’s $163/year. Now add that gas example upthread using the number there of $30 every 2.5 weeks extra for not driving a mile to a cheaper station. That’s $624 extra for one car. If two people in a family do this (plain coffee 1/week each + more expensive gas), you’re at $1574 on two tiny things. This is how things add up and it’s a mindset so it multiplies over expenses/savings across lits of choices. Over the years, it’s a car or large mortgage payments, etc.

You can’t argue against the fact the little unnecessary expenses add up over time although you can be of the mindset that you don’t care. One final point: I think that those who don’t try to find ways to save believe living like that is the same as living a bleak life (why can’t your kid get double chicken or two sauces or the healthy guac)? It is this thought that adds to your mindset of splurging over saving more.

Can you not read??? PP said, "I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly)."

David Bach's latte factor has its critics because healthcare, mortgages, and taxes have all outpaced salaries. Please see Elizabeth Warren's two-income trap. Let's focus on the big stuff, shall we? Saving $163/year isn't a big deal. Stop assuming that all people are doing it all.

I just see more scolding here, and you glossed right over my recommendation that DCUM live a little. I very well remember a woman here not too long ago who was freaking out that her DH bought Starbucks at the airport, on HIS VACATION.

And exhibit A ^^^ to the post you’re responding to that said that something about the non-mindful spenders believe the others have a bleak life. Think about people wealthier than you who fly private. If they looked at you and thought you lived a bleak life because you flew commercial, it isn’t accurate even though would never want to do that and think it would be terribly unpleasant.

This mindset really doesn’t impact people who are aware of spending and set more boundaries around wants. In fact, it bothers them to waste money, just as it bothers you to not have what you want.

There is SO much black and white thinking on this thread, which is what I pointed out. I'm not even a big spender. We still have our everyday dishes from our wedding 25+ years ago and haven't ever bought another set. Our HHI is 7-figures but I shop at JCrew Factory. BUT, no I'm not going never buy guac, never buy a Starbucks at the airport, never going to only buy the absolute cheapest everything because I want a full life. How is that not mindful?!?!? And, my kids pick that up from me whether or not I get mad that they like guac and want to order it. Geez. This board is literally insane.

[Anonymous]

Im glad these are the kind of weighty matters that trouble you, OP. Have a blessed day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

I'm not sure I agree with you and pp. People here aren't flaunting wealth by adding guac. I think some people really are just saying "don't sweat the small stuff." This isn't equivalent to replacing a shed. It's equivalent to the age old argument of buying coffee, which many people have pointed out is a fallacy when other stuff is so expensive.

I add guac because I like it. If my kids wanted to, I don't think I'd make a big proclamation about how it's extra because like others have mentioned my kids know/learn this over time, and now as adults. Besides, life is about splurging sometimes, and so many people on DCUM forget this.

No one ever said this (bold).

You obviously are of the second mindset (Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings) because of the underlined.

The truth is buying coffee out IS expensive over time. There is no fallacy about that. Just a single large black Sbux coffee once a week before tax and tip (if you tip) is $3.15. That’s $163/year. Now add that gas example upthread using the number there of $30 every 2.5 weeks extra for not driving a mile to a cheaper station. That’s $624 extra for one car. If two people in a family do this (plain coffee 1/week each + more expensive gas), you’re at $1574 on two tiny things. This is how things add up and it’s a mindset so it multiplies over expenses/savings across lits of choices. Over the years, it’s a car or large mortgage payments, etc.

You can’t argue against the fact the little unnecessary expenses add up over time although you can be of the mindset that you don’t care. One final point: I think that those who don’t try to find ways to save believe living like that is the same as living a bleak life (why can’t your kid get double chicken or two sauces or the healthy guac)? It is this thought that adds to your mindset of splurging over saving more.

Can you not read??? PP said, "I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly)."

David Bach's latte factor has its critics because healthcare, mortgages, and taxes have all outpaced salaries. Please see Elizabeth Warren's two-income trap. Let's focus on the big stuff, shall we? Saving $163/year isn't a big deal. Stop assuming that all people are doing it all.

I just see more scolding here, and you glossed right over my recommendation that DCUM live a little. I very well remember a woman here not too long ago who was freaking out that her DH bought Starbucks at the airport, on HIS VACATION.

And exhibit A ^^^ to the post you’re responding to that said that something about the non-mindful spenders believe the others have a bleak life. Think about people wealthier than you who fly private. If they looked at you and thought you lived a bleak life because you flew commercial, it isn’t accurate even though would never want to do that and think it would be terribly unpleasant.

This mindset really doesn’t impact people who are aware of spending and set more boundaries around wants. In fact, it bothers them to waste money, just as it bothers you to not have what you want.

There is SO much black and white thinking on this thread, which is what I pointed out. I'm not even a big spender. We still have our everyday dishes from our wedding 25+ years ago and haven't ever bought another set. Our HHI is 7-figures but I shop at JCrew Factory. BUT, no I'm not going never buy guac, never buy a Starbucks at the airport, never going to only buy the absolute cheapest everything because I want a full life. How is that not mindful?!?!? And, my kids pick that up from me whether or not I get mad that they like guac and want to order it. Geez. This board is literally insane.

You are a mindful spender focusing on dishes and clothes types of things. As has been said before, no one is saying mindful spender means no “wants” are ever purchased. Someone else may avoid guac but replace still-useable dishes and another may want more expensive clothes but tries to find cheaper gas. This is why considering double protein or bottled water comes from the same type of mind that also considers Taylor Swift tickets, luxury hotels, and nice cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

I'm not sure I agree with you and pp. People here aren't flaunting wealth by adding guac. I think some people really are just saying "don't sweat the small stuff." This isn't equivalent to replacing a shed. It's equivalent to the age old argument of buying coffee, which many people have pointed out is a fallacy when other stuff is so expensive.

I add guac because I like it. If my kids wanted to, I don't think I'd make a big proclamation about how it's extra because like others have mentioned my kids know/learn this over time, and now as adults. Besides, life is about splurging sometimes, and so many people on DCUM forget this.

No one ever said this (bold).

You obviously are of the second mindset (Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings) because of the underlined.

The truth is buying coffee out IS expensive over time. There is no fallacy about that. Just a single large black Sbux coffee once a week before tax and tip (if you tip) is $3.15. That’s $163/year. Now add that gas example upthread using the number there of $30 every 2.5 weeks extra for not driving a mile to a cheaper station. That’s $624 extra for one car. If two people in a family do this (plain coffee 1/week each + more expensive gas), you’re at $1574 on two tiny things. This is how things add up and it’s a mindset so it multiplies over expenses/savings across lits of choices. Over the years, it’s a car or large mortgage payments, etc.

You can’t argue against the fact the little unnecessary expenses add up over time although you can be of the mindset that you don’t care. One final point: I think that those who don’t try to find ways to save believe living like that is the same as living a bleak life (why can’t your kid get double chicken or two sauces or the healthy guac)? It is this thought that adds to your mindset of splurging over saving more.

Can you not read??? PP said, "I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly)."

David Bach's latte factor has its critics because healthcare, mortgages, and taxes have all outpaced salaries. Please see Elizabeth Warren's two-income trap. Let's focus on the big stuff, shall we? Saving $163/year isn't a big deal. Stop assuming that all people are doing it all.

I just see more scolding here, and you glossed right over my recommendation that DCUM live a little. I very well remember a woman here not too long ago who was freaking out that her DH bought Starbucks at the airport, on HIS VACATION.

And exhibit A ^^^ to the post you’re responding to that said that something about the non-mindful spenders believe the others have a bleak life. Think about people wealthier than you who fly private. If they looked at you and thought you lived a bleak life because you flew commercial, it isn’t accurate even though would never want to do that and think it would be terribly unpleasant.

This mindset really doesn’t impact people who are aware of spending and set more boundaries around wants. In fact, it bothers them to waste money, just as it bothers you to not have what you want.

There is SO much black and white thinking on this thread, which is what I pointed out. I'm not even a big spender. We still have our everyday dishes from our wedding 25+ years ago and haven't ever bought another set. Our HHI is 7-figures but I shop at JCrew Factory. BUT, no I'm not going never buy guac, never buy a Starbucks at the airport, never going to only buy the absolute cheapest everything because I want a full life. How is that not mindful?!?!? And, my kids pick that up from me whether or not I get mad that they like guac and want to order it. Geez. This board is literally insane.

You are a mindful spender focusing on dishes and clothes types of things. As has been said before, no one is saying mindful spender means no “wants” are ever purchased. Someone else may avoid guac but replace still-useable dishes and another may want more expensive clothes but tries to find cheaper gas. This is why considering double protein or bottled water comes from the same type of mind that also considers Taylor Swift tickets, luxury hotels, and nice cars.

Agreed. But, that's not exactly what people are positing here. You don't have to analyze every small choice to be mindful.

[Anonymous]

There is a really expensive gas station I sometimes drive by, which is far above any other nearby stations. It’s close to $4 a gallon, I think. I always wonder when I see people there why they would fill up there…

Now I understand that some just make purchases without even looking at - or likely knowing - pricing for items. We like $2.50/each Sumo oranges, so let’s get 4 for $10.

[Anonymous]

But, I'm pp, and I disagree that buying Taylor Swift tickets for your kids will teach them about value, which is the very point of this thread. So, why bother getting angry about occasional guac when you're going to shell out $1500 pp for concert tickets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:so funny because my daughter and I were just talking about the high charge for guac. Of course she orders it because she knows we can afford it. But it does bring me back to my college is when I couldn't afford to order soda with the meal.

These two words are what these many pages are about.

You/half think exactly as you do: of course, order it bc we can afford to

Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings.

+1

I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly).

When you have enough to cover all your needs and most of your wants, it leads to silly disputes over guacamole and queso.

But if you don’t have enough for that, it can lead to unnecessary debt - which is why I’m trying to teach my kids to ask if it’s “worth” spending extra money on something, rather than can we afford it. And the guac/queso/fountain drink decision is a great way to teach it.

I’ll also say, being too strict with “extras” can backfire and lead to someone getting ALL the extras when they have their own money - even if they can’t afford it.

I'm not sure I agree with you and pp. People here aren't flaunting wealth by adding guac. I think some people really are just saying "don't sweat the small stuff." This isn't equivalent to replacing a shed. It's equivalent to the age old argument of buying coffee, which many people have pointed out is a fallacy when other stuff is so expensive.

I add guac because I like it. If my kids wanted to, I don't think I'd make a big proclamation about how it's extra because like others have mentioned my kids know/learn this over time, and now as adults. Besides, life is about splurging sometimes, and so many people on DCUM forget this.

No one ever said this (bold).

You obviously are of the second mindset (Half think that just bc you can afford to, there is a financial lesson in setting boundaries/increases savings) because of the underlined.

The truth is buying coffee out IS expensive over time. There is no fallacy about that. Just a single large black Sbux coffee once a week before tax and tip (if you tip) is $3.15. That’s $163/year. Now add that gas example upthread using the number there of $30 every 2.5 weeks extra for not driving a mile to a cheaper station. That’s $624 extra for one car. If two people in a family do this (plain coffee 1/week each + more expensive gas), you’re at $1574 on two tiny things. This is how things add up and it’s a mindset so it multiplies over expenses/savings across lits of choices. Over the years, it’s a car or large mortgage payments, etc.

You can’t argue against the fact the little unnecessary expenses add up over time although you can be of the mindset that you don’t care. One final point: I think that those who don’t try to find ways to save believe living like that is the same as living a bleak life (why can’t your kid get double chicken or two sauces or the healthy guac)? It is this thought that adds to your mindset of splurging over saving more.

Can you not read??? PP said, "I’m in the second half, but my husband is in the first half. It’s frustrating for both of us - he doesn’t want to look poor/cheap, and I fear running out of money (which is silly)."

David Bach's latte factor has its critics because healthcare, mortgages, and taxes have all outpaced salaries. Please see Elizabeth Warren's two-income trap. Let's focus on the big stuff, shall we? Saving $163/year isn't a big deal. Stop assuming that all people are doing it all.

I just see more scolding here, and you glossed right over my recommendation that DCUM live a little. I very well remember a woman here not too long ago who was freaking out that her DH bought Starbucks at the airport, on HIS VACATION.

And exhibit A ^^^ to the post you’re responding to that said that something about the non-mindful spenders believe the others have a bleak life. Think about people wealthier than you who fly private. If they looked at you and thought you lived a bleak life because you flew commercial, it isn’t accurate even though would never want to do that and think it would be terribly unpleasant.

This mindset really doesn’t impact people who are aware of spending and set more boundaries around wants. In fact, it bothers them to waste money, just as it bothers you to not have what you want.

There is SO much black and white thinking on this thread, which is what I pointed out. I'm not even a big spender. We still have our everyday dishes from our wedding 25+ years ago and haven't ever bought another set. Our HHI is 7-figures but I shop at JCrew Factory. BUT, no I'm not going never buy guac, never buy a Starbucks at the airport, never going to only buy the absolute cheapest everything because I want a full life. How is that not mindful?!?!? And, my kids pick that up from me whether or not I get mad that they like guac and want to order it. Geez. This board is literally insane.

You are a mindful spender focusing on dishes and clothes types of things. As has been said before, no one is saying mindful spender means no “wants” are ever purchased. Someone else may avoid guac but replace still-useable dishes and another may want more expensive clothes but tries to find cheaper gas. This is why considering double protein or bottled water comes from the same type of mind that also considers Taylor Swift tickets, luxury hotels, and nice cars.

Agreed. But, that's not exactly what people are positing here. You don't have to analyze every small choice to be mindful.

No one that I have seen said that except the non-mindful spenders who think the mindful ones never purchase any wants. I think it helps justify their view that they want to enjoy life and live a little. I am sure your mindful spending habits allow you:

- joy from your spending
- to save money from your mindfulness
- and to not feel deprived in any meaningful way as to what you’re not spending money on (higher end clothing, let’s say)