What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's now 8:45 and we are holding dinner -- pizza ordered take out, mind you -- until the last guest arrives. She texted 2 hours ago that she was on her way. She lives 15 minutes away. We are still waiting -- 7 of us -- almost two hours later, because we "can't start until Larla arrives. She's on her way." And no one wants to text her and find out where the hell she is, because "she said she was on her way."

2 hours ago.

This was my brother for decades. He call at 6 pm from 4 hours away and say he was leaving. At 11 pm my mom would get nervous, and usually at midnight he would actually depart, show up in the wee hours, and sleep until noon. My mom never had the hard to get upset at him so instead she would dump on all of us from 6-12 am and again at 6 am until he woke up. She would also hold meals because she was convinced that if we started eating without him, he’d show up. Flawless logic.

Also, I hope you ate the pizza?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Where does MIL live? Is it cold outside and she can’t afford to heat her house higher than 65? I can’t quite follow. Most older people have real circulation issues and insist on the house being in the 80s, so you may be a lucky one there. You can always put more layers on.

PNW. MIL is actually very wealthy, hence financial planning stress. It's a weird thing about DH's family. They keep house at 60 and wear jackets inside. It's a favor that house is set at 65, but I'm still freezing. DD is wearing gloves!

Why can't you say it without the intials? Pacific northwest?

New poster here who had no idea what PNW was, didn’t care enough to Google, and is now rolling my eyes at how obnoxious that is!

I moved to the PNW from DMV. People here use PNW all the time without a thought, so I doubt the PP was trying to be obnoxious.

I want to hear more about what happens when people flout the “no snacking” rule at their in-laws’. Does someone DASH the food from your hands? What happens if you say you’re hungry? Does someone say “Too bad!”?

Yeah, I've never lived out west at all and I knew what it meant. PNW seems like common knowledge to me.

DMV is much weirder than PNW. In most places DMV stands for Department of Motor Vehicles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this thread is intended in jest and there are some great stories. But I am also shocked at how spineless some grown adults are! If visiting family is miserable or abusive in any way, STOP DOING IT! It's not mandatory. Many people eat Thanksgiving with only their nuclear family. You can also do that. Travel and multiple nights in an environment that makes you crazy is not neccessary. You are a grown up. Its OK to make your own tradition.

Saying it from the perspective of someone who stepped away from the tradition to get away from the abuse: these kinds of people don’t leave you alone just because you’re “making your own tradition” or because you’re a grown up. In the fall, I can’t pickup the phone, check my texts or my emails without being berated by my elderly mother or being scolded by people she’s charged with doing her dirty work. A lot of people on her have made the calculation that a few days’ suffering is better than months of punishment.

Hence pp’s comment on how many spineless people are on this forum. Why do you or the other martyrs on this forum care if your elderly mother’s friends scold you via text message/email for not partaking in a misery inducing event?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this thread is intended in jest and there are some great stories. But I am also shocked at how spineless some grown adults are! If visiting family is miserable or abusive in any way, STOP DOING IT! It's not mandatory. Many people eat Thanksgiving with only their nuclear family. You can also do that. Travel and multiple nights in an environment that makes you crazy is not neccessary. You are a grown up. Its OK to make your own tradition.

Saying it from the perspective of someone who stepped away from the tradition to get away from the abuse: these kinds of people don’t leave you alone just because you’re “making your own tradition” or because you’re a grown up. In the fall, I can’t pickup the phone, check my texts or my emails without being berated by my elderly mother or being scolded by people she’s charged with doing her dirty work. A lot of people on her have made the calculation that a few days’ suffering is better than months of punishment.

Hence pp’s comment on how many spineless people are on this forum. Why do you or the other martyrs on this forum care if your elderly mother’s friends scold you via text message/email for not partaking in a misery inducing event?

Shoo, go back to cozy times with your happy family. This thread is for the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Even though my ILs have a perfectly functional dishwasher, everything must be hand washed! The countertop is an amalgamation of hand washed dishes and dirty dishes and they all look the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's now 8:45 and we are holding dinner -- pizza ordered take out, mind you -- until the last guest arrives. She texted 2 hours ago that she was on her way. She lives 15 minutes away. We are still waiting -- 7 of us -- almost two hours later, because we "can't start until Larla arrives. She's on her way." And no one wants to text her and find out where the hell she is, because "she said she was on her way."

2 hours ago.

This was my brother for decades. He call at 6 pm from 4 hours away and say he was leaving. At 11 pm my mom would get nervous, and usually at midnight he would actually depart, show up in the wee hours, and sleep until noon. My mom never had the hard to get upset at him so instead she would dump on all of us from 6-12 am and again at 6 am until he woke up. She would also hold meals because she was convinced that if we started eating without him, he’d show up. Flawless logic.

Also, I hope you ate the pizza?

Just did. But I was the only one, because everyone else is too far into the beer to bother to eat.

FYI, she finally showed up. Not hungry, because she ate hours ago. As we should have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sleeping in a motherf@#$ing twin sized little tikes fireman bed that was probably made in 1987 in a basement in WISCONSIN and it is so so so cold that my husband and my youngest are also huddled in here. How important is extended family really?

seriously, you win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The no food in rooms thing I get. We are militant about that because we get ants otherwise. Food in kitchen and dining room only.

Agreed.

Also agree. Not sure what is wrong with deterring ants and other critters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

I feel your pain. I am looking at a frozen turkey sitting on the counter. It was fully defrosted LAST YEAR and then REFROZEN when a contingent family did not make it up from the twin cities. This is an 18 pounder. Early tomorrow morning, crimes against nature will be committed in order to finish the thawing. This is one of many attempts on our lives that have/will occur this Thanksgiving. I’m going to go eat a snickers bar and have a Bloody Mary. They don’t believe in food allergies or food safety here, but they believe in large supplies of junk food and nobody monitors your drinking. #winnng

RED PLASTIC BIN IN THE FREEZER LADY PLEASE COME BACK

No, no, no, no, NO. Tell you don't have children who will be eating that killer turkey!

There are children here but none on my watch will eat the Turkey. All of the sane adults work together to protect ourselves and the innocents. The perpetrators don’t get sick. I don’t know if they’ve evolved to have cast iron stomachs or if it’s the alcohol (I’m indulging, not judging, but they drink SO MUCH).

My mother is 97, lives in her home on her own and still drives. She's never had cancer, has normal cholesterol etc. She is a unicorn according to my internist, who doesn't believe she exists. She still gardens and does stuff on her own. She has never been a person concerned with eating healthy foods. She has always eaten a lot of vegetables and few sweets but she's Southern and loves her Southern food. She's never had a heart attack, heart issues, or strokes. She lives in the hot South. She leaves food out all the time. We just visited and she made sausage and biscuits several mornings and they sat out all day. We didn't realize and the first day, most of us had stomach issues. I'm pretty certain she has poisoned herself so many times with every possible food borne illness that it has killed anything that can kill her.

My mom is only 78 but is like this (and also a Southerner). She doesn’t wash her hands, leaves food out, eats old leftovers; licks the spoon, doesn’t stay away from sick people, etc. and never gets sick. There have been holidays when every single one of us catches a stomach bug, she is right in the mix without taking any precaution, and she is the only one who avoids it. My BIL says she’s like a cockroach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

This thread completely defeats thr essence of "thanksgiving" and highlights how ungrateful , judgmental and selfish we all are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The no food in rooms thing I get. We are militant about that because we get ants otherwise. Food in kitchen and dining room only.

Agreed.

Also agree. Not sure what is wrong with deterring ants and other critters.

You guys don’t read. It’s not that anyone opposes the “no food in bedroom” rule, it’s that someone’s dad freaked out because their kid threw away a wrapper ***from a bag of chips eaten previously during travel*** in the bedroom trash. Like, if you can’t handle teens throwing away empty, pre-eaten-before-they-arrived trash in a trash can, you are not fit to have guests. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

This thread completely defeats thr essence of "thanksgiving" and highlights how ungrateful , judgmental and selfish we all are.

Use your critical thinking skills. I’ll help you this time.

This thread is for people who are either willing to travel (at great expense, taking time off work in some cases) to see relatives and stay with them (often at their request, when many of us would prefer to stay at a hotel), or who are willing to host houseguests (sometimes at great expense of buying food and doing all the work). Therefore, this thread is full of people SELFLESS enough to spend time with family, despite human foibles and funny quirks and discomforts. Otherwise, this thread would be nothing but the smug few who are like, “You sound miserable! WE go on vacation on our own to Aspen this time every year—nothing but peace and fun during the holidays for US!”

So yeah, I drove my family 10 hours, took time off work, and if I want to participate in a lil’ DCUM whinefest, I will. But I’m still here, my kids are still with their grandparents and cousins. So it’s actually you who needs the perspective shift.

[Anonymous]

You guys don’t read. It’s not that anyone opposes the “no food in bedroom” rule, it’s that someone’s dad freaked out because their kid threw away a wrapper ***from a bag of chips eaten previously during travel*** in the bedroom trash. Like, if you can’t handle teens throwing away empty, pre-eaten-before-they-arrived trash in a trash can, you are not fit to have guests. Period.

That pre-eaten chip bag still had crumbs in it. If your house is prone to ants/bugs/mice, I get it. Just throw food trash away in the kitchen trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You guys don’t read. It’s not that anyone opposes the “no food in bedroom” rule, it’s that someone’s dad freaked out because their kid threw away a wrapper ***from a bag of chips eaten previously during travel*** in the bedroom trash. Like, if you can’t handle teens throwing away empty, pre-eaten-before-they-arrived trash in a trash can, you are not fit to have guests. Period.

That pre-eaten chip bag still had crumbs in it. If your house is prone to ants/bugs/mice, I get it. Just throw food trash away in the kitchen trash.

Some of us prioritize making teen grandchildren and the adult parents who went to the trouble and expense to travel to us and take off work to feel welcome in our home, but OK. If making guests uncomfortable in your home is not a priority and you can’t afford ant traps/ant bait, you do you. I’d rather have a warm, welcoming house and occasionally put out some ant traps.

Or better yet, if you have an ant problem? Call the Orkin Man. Get it taken care of.

[Anonymous]

I love these threads. I had so many holidays spent together with a house full of relatives. My and my sibling’s kids are grown with kids of their own and my dear husband passed away recently, my parents and grandparents are gone. Being older now, we have tons of memories that were’t exactly funny at the time, but we crack up remembering them now. We no longer live close to each other, so our gatherings are smaller.
But, please keep the stories coming, they make me miss the holidays of old and provide some much needed laughter. I sympathize with so many of you.
~~HAPPY THANKSGIVING ~~