What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL just brought out a wedding picture and handed it to DH because she had it and thought he might like it. A picture from his first wedding. Which was not our wedding, lol. It's an old picture as DH and I have been together for over 20 years.

WTF? I scowled at her, but didn't say anything. I don't really care, lol. I'm not really the jealous type, fortunately. DH said "I don't need this" and handed it back to her. She said, "Well ok, I thought you would want it" and took it away.

LOL. Nice job DH, though.

[Anonymous]

My folks passed away 30 years ago and I've been the host of the family holidays ever since. With pretty much zero help. I live for these threads and at this point in my life am taking notes on how to implement a number of these things bc I'm so sick of hosting.

And yes, I've basically screamed "I AM NO LONGER WILLING TO HOST" and nothing happens. Then I'm left feeling bad for my youngest kid who still thinks the holidays are magical and loves the family togetherness (and tbt is the one and only person that helps.......with anything). He's a senior in college and I'm secretly hoping he gets a job on the other side of the country so that I claim visiting him on holidays.

Keep the stories coming!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love these threads. I had so many holidays spent together with a house full of relatives. My and my sibling’s kids are grown with kids of their own and my dear husband passed away recently, my parents and grandparents are gone. Being older now, we have tons of memories that were’t exactly funny at the time, but we crack up remembering them now. We no longer live close to each other, so our gatherings are smaller.
But, please keep the stories coming, they make me miss the holidays of old and provide some much needed laughter. I sympathize with so many of you.
~~HAPPY THANKSGIVING ~~

Happy Thanksgiving! I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad you have so many happy and funny memories. I’m glad you enjoy the spirit of this thread, which is we know being together is important, but sometimes it’s also unintentionally hilarious.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

I feel your pain. I am looking at a frozen turkey sitting on the counter. It was fully defrosted LAST YEAR and then REFROZEN when a contingent family did not make it up from the twin cities. This is an 18 pounder. Early tomorrow morning, crimes against nature will be committed in order to finish the thawing. This is one of many attempts on our lives that have/will occur this Thanksgiving. I’m going to go eat a snickers bar and have a Bloody Mary. They don’t believe in food allergies or food safety here, but they believe in large supplies of junk food and nobody monitors your drinking. #winnng

RED PLASTIC BIN IN THE FREEZER LADY PLEASE COME BACK

No, no, no, no, NO. Tell you don't have children who will be eating that killer turkey!

There are children here but none on my watch will eat the Turkey. All of the sane adults work together to protect ourselves and the innocents. The perpetrators don’t get sick. I don’t know if they’ve evolved to have cast iron stomachs or if it’s the alcohol (I’m indulging, not judging, but they drink SO MUCH).

My mother is 97, lives in her home on her own and still drives. She's never had cancer, has normal cholesterol etc. She is a unicorn according to my internist, who doesn't believe she exists. She still gardens and does stuff on her own. She has never been a person concerned with eating healthy foods. She has always eaten a lot of vegetables and few sweets but she's Southern and loves her Southern food. She's never had a heart attack, heart issues, or strokes. She lives in the hot South. She leaves food out all the time. We just visited and she made sausage and biscuits several mornings and they sat out all day. We didn't realize and the first day, most of us had stomach issues. I'm pretty certain she has poisoned herself so many times with every possible food borne illness that it has killed anything that can kill her.

My mom is only 78 but is like this (and also a Southerner). She doesn’t wash her hands, leaves food out, eats old leftovers; licks the spoon, doesn’t stay away from sick people, etc. and never gets sick. There have been holidays when every single one of us catches a stomach bug, she is right in the mix without taking any precaution, and she is the only one who avoids it. My BIL says she’s like a cockroach.

I love this! My MIL is the same. The one and only time she ever got a stomach bug (went to a religious festival where 100s of people got sick) she was completely flummoxed. Went to the ER, then her family doctor, then back to the ER all in the span of 24 hours. Texted family chat an hour by hour update on her "mystery symptoms" of diarrhea, vomiting, malaise, and mild fever that the doctors were "not taking seriously at all" because they told her to please go home and rest and drink fluids. She concluded that she got sick from some "bad potato chips" instead of "people not washing their hands and eating food that has been sitting in the sun unrefrigerated for hours in a place with no bathrooms."

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Alternate worlds. We arrived and house is 80, but don’t change the thermostat! And MIL here also doesn’t cook so will go out for Thanksgiving but means next 2 1/2 days, no food in house. Thank goodness for these posts years ago they educated me about car coolers and hidden room food so we survive (they don’t like to keep food in house because will go bad). I am not sure what they think we eat, but for years now they don’t ask, we don’t say and all works out. But anyone new watching this would be very confused.

I remember a thread from years ago offering the OP ways to hide food. What kind of food are you hiding? Is it sandwiches? I'm guessing food you don't have to heat?

Gift basket from Harry and David that you "won" in a raffle at the office!!!

It was me! I “won”! Now it’s a well-worn tradition that I just bring one “because we all enjoyed it so much that first year.” Haha, always fed now!

Genius!

[Anonymous]

Desert served by MIL: canned fruits with a topping of canned cream. She's otherwise a nice lady.

[Anonymous]

I am hosting my parents for Thanksgiving week and made sure to stock up on their preferred grocery items, etc. But they are very unhappy that we do not have cable so they can’t watch MSNBC at top volume all day long!

My sister comes for the day to my place for Thanksgiving and then both of us stay at my parents’ for Christmas… but as our families have grown, the guest room space there has gotten less comfortable. Because her kids are “bad sleepers” and can’t share rooms, DH and I have ended up on an air mattress in the den with one dc. So it might be time for a hotel!

[Anonymous]

I love this thread and have been reading it all morning while "sleeping in." It's perfect for people who love their family but are kind of bemused or uncomfortable nonetheless.
My genuinely kind ILs are good hosts in every way -- except there is no food that isn't healthful. I don't mean unhealthy, I mean not actively ticking a box like "antioxidants" or "memory boosting." Every meal and dish gets a little commentary about how it will improve you. Last night DH was grousing there's no food in this house, so I let him in on my secret luggage stash of crackers and chocolate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am hosting my parents for Thanksgiving week and made sure to stock up on their preferred grocery items, etc. But they are very unhappy that we do not have cable so they can’t watch MSNBC at top volume all day long!

My sister comes for the day to my place for Thanksgiving and then both of us stay at my parents’ for Christmas… but as our families have grown, the guest room space there has gotten less comfortable. Because her kids are “bad sleepers” and can’t share rooms, DH and I have ended up on an air mattress in the den with one dc. So it might be time for a hotel!

Say more. Does one of their kids sleep with them? Or do they get their own room, their kids each get their own room, and your family is in the den? Why aren’t THEY in the den?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My folks passed away 30 years ago and I've been the host of the family holidays ever since. With pretty much zero help. I live for these threads and at this point in my life am taking notes on how to implement a number of these things bc I'm so sick of hosting.

And yes, I've basically screamed "I AM NO LONGER WILLING TO HOST" and nothing happens. Then I'm left feeling bad for my youngest kid who still thinks the holidays are magical and loves the family togetherness (and tbt is the one and only person that helps.......with anything). He's a senior in college and I'm secretly hoping he gets a job on the other side of the country so that I claim visiting him on holidays.

Keep the stories coming!

Seems like giving everyone food poisoning would do it (there are so many tips on all the turkey threads) but the downside is that your bathrooms will take a hit. As a hostess I could not stomach that (no pun intended) in my house.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

If your kids have sleep disorders you should offer to pay for a hotel for your visitors, you really just should not have overnight guests.

Not PP you were talking to, but my son has a sleep disorder, untreatable sleep apnea. It's NOT a joke. It will shorten his life, make him more liable to develop dementia, and worsens his existing ADHD and daily capabilities. No one should scoff at such medical troubles.

Why would I pay for hotels for guests? Our house is too small for guests. We see each other at non-Holiday times, that's all.

I’m not “scoffing,” I’m saying that if there’s a problem with guests, you should prioritize the health of the people who live in the house, and not have guests!

Sounds like you live close to your family; how nice. Some of us don’t and don’t get the chance to see each other very often. So yes, if they buy plane tickets and rent a car the least I can do is entertain them and pay for a few nights in a hotel to protect my kids’ health.

Again, no one is “scoffing,” so consider stop being so knee-jerk defensive.

DP, a m not paying for guests’ hotel rooms.
Pay for your own hotel.
You can either stay at my house or you can’t.
I don’t expect people to pay for my hotel. Are you nuts?

Generally I would not pay for a hotel for my guests....BUT, if I am so neurotic that my daughter giggling with her aunt early in the morning is going to send me into a tailspin, such that I don't want my SIL in my home, I'd pony up for the hotel. (But what I should really do is get a therapist to deal with my serious anxiety).

To that PP, I understand the stress of managing a child with a health condition, but if you truly cannot handle your daughter infrequently getting less than ten hours of sleep, get some help on this. Life happens.

Let me clarify a few things. I live in a 7000 square foot home. There are plenty of places for guests to go in my home to talk and do whatever they please. I was not upset about giggling. I was upset about ridiculously loud laughter from my SIL that woke me up out of a dead sleep while it was still dark outside. It was so loud, it woke everyone up, including my husband and son. My husband was equally as pissed. We have guests probably every month and no other guest has ever done this. They quietly go downstairs if they are up early and can talk on the main floor. It’s called manners.

She visits 3-4 times a year and it happens every time she is here. 8 day visits are a compromise because had I not set that boundary, she would come for 2-3 weeks. Believe me, 8 days of a sleep exhausted kid is not fun. We want to see my SIL and host her but just wish we could minimize sleep disruptions to the kids. I’m already letting the kids go to bed later so they have more time together in the evenings. I’m not trying to crush their fun. Just trying to ensure my kid can function at school. Her tiredness at school is so bad we are considering a low dose stimulant to help her stay awake. Sorry you think I’m so nuts. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that guests are mindful of the kids sleep schedule when you are hosting them for over a week.

SIL is a rude guest. Period. End of this boring side thread.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I know this thread is intended in jest and there are some great stories. But I am also shocked at how spineless some grown adults are! If visiting family is miserable or abusive in any way, STOP DOING IT! It's not mandatory. Many people eat Thanksgiving with only their nuclear family. You can also do that. Travel and multiple nights in an environment that makes you crazy is not neccessary. You are a grown up. Its OK to make your own tradition.

Saying it from the perspective of someone who stepped away from the tradition to get away from the abuse: these kinds of people don’t leave you alone just because you’re “making your own tradition” or because you’re a grown up. In the fall, I can’t pickup the phone, check my texts or my emails without being berated by my elderly mother or being scolded by people she’s charged with doing her dirty work. A lot of people on her have made the calculation that a few days’ suffering is better than months of punishment.

If the facts are on your side, this shouldn't be an issue. One or two explanations "We aren't coming because it's not an enjoyable environment." And then some concession that you can stomach "would you be interested in coming to Susie's band recital next weekend?" Or "we are available to face time at X", then you just move on.

If others come at you, again, explain calmly and without theatrics. Ask if there is a common ground they could agree to. Wish them a happy holiday and move on.

I just think so many people want the drama because to them it means family and it’s obligatory. And that is sad.

Please start a new thread for discussing abuse. Please do not ruin this thread for people dealing with the bizarre, the ridiculous, and faintly disturbing family that is mostly just weird, funny, and inexplicable.

Pp was on topic. Get over your need for “funny.” DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL’s house has the fewest outlets, the dullest knives, and the oldest spices ever.

Me again, I had low expectations for the potato peeler but I was still disappointed.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

I feel your pain. I am looking at a frozen turkey sitting on the counter. It was fully defrosted LAST YEAR and then REFROZEN when a contingent family did not make it up from the twin cities. This is an 18 pounder. Early tomorrow morning, crimes against nature will be committed in order to finish the thawing. This is one of many attempts on our lives that have/will occur this Thanksgiving. I’m going to go eat a snickers bar and have a Bloody Mary. They don’t believe in food allergies or food safety here, but they believe in large supplies of junk food and nobody monitors your drinking. #winnng

RED PLASTIC BIN IN THE FREEZER LADY PLEASE COME BACK

No, no, no, no, NO. Tell you don't have children who will be eating that killer turkey!

There are children here but none on my watch will eat the Turkey. All of the sane adults work together to protect ourselves and the innocents. The perpetrators don’t get sick. I don’t know if they’ve evolved to have cast iron stomachs or if it’s the alcohol (I’m indulging, not judging, but they drink SO MUCH).

My mother is 97, lives in her home on her own and still drives. She's never had cancer, has normal cholesterol etc. She is a unicorn according to my internist, who doesn't believe she exists. She still gardens and does stuff on her own. She has never been a person concerned with eating healthy foods. She has always eaten a lot of vegetables and few sweets but she's Southern and loves her Southern food. She's never had a heart attack, heart issues, or strokes. She lives in the hot South. She leaves food out all the time. We just visited and she made sausage and biscuits several mornings and they sat out all day. We didn't realize and the first day, most of us had stomach issues. I'm pretty certain she has poisoned herself so many times with every possible food borne illness that it has killed anything that can kill her.

My mom is only 78 but is like this (and also a Southerner). She doesn’t wash her hands, leaves food out, eats old leftovers; licks the spoon, doesn’t stay away from sick people, etc. and never gets sick. There have been holidays when every single one of us catches a stomach bug, she is right in the mix without taking any precaution, and she is the only one who avoids it. My BIL says she’s like a cockroach.

This whole generation is like this. I virtually never saw my mother wash her hands. Even after using the bathroom. It’s pretty gross.

[Anonymous]

Cereal for breakfast. Do not know when any other food is happening.