What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re driving to my in laws today. It promises to be a disastrous thanksgiving. My son is meeting us tomorrow, and hopefully he’s up to helping out. My MIL refused to cater thanksgiving 6 weeks ago when we still had the option, and now there will be no caregiver for my ill FIL on thanksgiving day, so now she wants to cater.

It’s too late to cater - and we bought a turkey. And all the fixings to bring with us. So I will be cooking (hopefully with my sons help), while my husband is on urinal duty and caring for FIL. My husband usually cooks the turkey. Wish me luck.

Oh, and the oven is on the fritz.

Lots of people cook Thanksgiving dinner and the turkey is the easiest piece. Get over it.

It isn't the easiest "piece". It's actually hard not to turn the breast to sawdust if you don't have experience. It's also a huge heavy lethal bacteria factory as all fowl is in this country, so step off. It's actually tricky. So many people ruin turkey and it's the main reason people don't love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

I feel your pain. I am looking at a frozen turkey sitting on the counter. It was fully defrosted LAST YEAR and then REFROZEN when a contingent family did not make it up from the twin cities. This is an 18 pounder. Early tomorrow morning, crimes against nature will be committed in order to finish the thawing. This is one of many attempts on our lives that have/will occur this Thanksgiving. I’m going to go eat a snickers bar and have a Bloody Mary. They don’t believe in food allergies or food safety here, but they believe in large supplies of junk food and nobody monitors your drinking. #winnng

RED PLASTIC BIN IN THE FREEZER LADY PLEASE COME BACK

No, no, no, no, NO. Tell you don't have children who will be eating that killer turkey!

[Anonymous]

I know this thread is intended in jest and there are some great stories. But I am also shocked at how spineless some grown adults are! If visiting family is miserable or abusive in any way, STOP DOING IT! It's not mandatory. Many people eat Thanksgiving with only their nuclear family. You can also do that. Travel and multiple nights in an environment that makes you crazy is not neccessary. You are a grown up. Its OK to make your own tradition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a twist on this thread. How about clueless house guests? I’m hosting SIL and she arrived over the weekend for an 8 day stay. We have had numerous discussions and conflicts in the past about how disruptive her visits are to the kids sleep. Both kids have sleep disorders and my biggest stressor in life is getting my youngest to sleep and ensuring she gets the maximum sleep possible. My husband and I were looking forward to sleeping in Saturday morning (only day for the next week) and was woken up at 6:40am to giggling and screaming laughter from SIL and daughter together in the next room. SIL seemed confused when husband went in and asked them to be quiet and asking why daughter was awake. My son woke up moments later. I couldn’t fall asleep after that. Daughter was up almost 2 hours earlier than a normal Saturday. And his family wonders why visits are so exhausting!

If your kids have sleep disorders you should offer to pay for a hotel for your visitors, you really just should not have overnight guests.

Not PP you were talking to, but my son has a sleep disorder, untreatable sleep apnea. It's NOT a joke. It will shorten his life, make him more liable to develop dementia, and worsens his existing ADHD and daily capabilities. No one should scoff at such medical troubles.

Why would I pay for hotels for guests? Our house is too small for guests. We see each other at non-Holiday times, that's all.

I’m not “scoffing,” I’m saying that if there’s a problem with guests, you should prioritize the health of the people who live in the house, and not have guests!

Sounds like you live close to your family; how nice. Some of us don’t and don’t get the chance to see each other very often. So yes, if they buy plane tickets and rent a car the least I can do is entertain them and pay for a few nights in a hotel to protect my kids’ health.

Again, no one is “scoffing,” so consider stop being so knee-jerk defensive.

DP, a m not paying for guests’ hotel rooms.
Pay for your own hotel.
You can either stay at my house or you can’t.
I don’t expect people to pay for my hotel. Are you nuts?

Generally I would not pay for a hotel for my guests....BUT, if I am so neurotic that my daughter giggling with her aunt early in the morning is going to send me into a tailspin, such that I don't want my SIL in my home, I'd pony up for the hotel. (But what I should really do is get a therapist to deal with my serious anxiety).

To that PP, I understand the stress of managing a child with a health condition, but if you truly cannot handle your daughter infrequently getting less than ten hours of sleep, get some help on this. Life happens.

NP. You are f'ing overbearing and are ruining this post with your need to win and get the last word in. Please go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this thread is intended in jest and there are some great stories. But I am also shocked at how spineless some grown adults are! If visiting family is miserable or abusive in any way, STOP DOING IT! It's not mandatory. Many people eat Thanksgiving with only their nuclear family. You can also do that. Travel and multiple nights in an environment that makes you crazy is not neccessary. You are a grown up. Its OK to make your own tradition.

Saying it from the perspective of someone who stepped away from the tradition to get away from the abuse: these kinds of people don’t leave you alone just because you’re “making your own tradition” or because you’re a grown up. In the fall, I can’t pickup the phone, check my texts or my emails without being berated by my elderly mother or being scolded by people she’s charged with doing her dirty work. A lot of people on her have made the calculation that a few days’ suffering is better than months of punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

I feel your pain. I am looking at a frozen turkey sitting on the counter. It was fully defrosted LAST YEAR and then REFROZEN when a contingent family did not make it up from the twin cities. This is an 18 pounder. Early tomorrow morning, crimes against nature will be committed in order to finish the thawing. This is one of many attempts on our lives that have/will occur this Thanksgiving. I’m going to go eat a snickers bar and have a Bloody Mary. They don’t believe in food allergies or food safety here, but they believe in large supplies of junk food and nobody monitors your drinking. #winnng

RED PLASTIC BIN IN THE FREEZER LADY PLEASE COME BACK

No, no, no, no, NO. Tell you don't have children who will be eating that killer turkey!

There are children here but none on my watch will eat the Turkey. All of the sane adults work together to protect ourselves and the innocents. The perpetrators don’t get sick. I don’t know if they’ve evolved to have cast iron stomachs or if it’s the alcohol (I’m indulging, not judging, but they drink SO MUCH).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws were the type of people who just left food out on the porch or in the garage, until a bear moved into their yard.

2nd Place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this thread is intended in jest and there are some great stories. But I am also shocked at how spineless some grown adults are! If visiting family is miserable or abusive in any way, STOP DOING IT! It's not mandatory. Many people eat Thanksgiving with only their nuclear family. You can also do that. Travel and multiple nights in an environment that makes you crazy is not neccessary. You are a grown up. Its OK to make your own tradition.

Saying it from the perspective of someone who stepped away from the tradition to get away from the abuse: these kinds of people don’t leave you alone just because you’re “making your own tradition” or because you’re a grown up. In the fall, I can’t pickup the phone, check my texts or my emails without being berated by my elderly mother or being scolded by people she’s charged with doing her dirty work. A lot of people on her have made the calculation that a few days’ suffering is better than months of punishment.

If the facts are on your side, this shouldn't be an issue. One or two explanations "We aren't coming because it's not an enjoyable environment." And then some concession that you can stomach "would you be interested in coming to Susie's band recital next weekend?" Or "we are available to face time at X", then you just move on.

If others come at you, again, explain calmly and without theatrics. Ask if there is a common ground they could agree to. Wish them a happy holiday and move on.

I just think so many people want the drama because to them it means family and its obligatory. And that is sad.

[Anonymous]

It's now 8:45 and we are holding dinner -- pizza ordered take out, mind you -- until the last guest arrives. She texted 2 hours ago that she was on her way. She lives 15 minutes away. We are still waiting -- 7 of us -- almost two hours later, because we "can't start until Larla arrives. She's on her way." And no one wants to text her and find out where the hell she is, because "she said she was on her way."

2 hours ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this thread is intended in jest and there are some great stories. But I am also shocked at how spineless some grown adults are! If visiting family is miserable or abusive in any way, STOP DOING IT! It's not mandatory. Many people eat Thanksgiving with only their nuclear family. You can also do that. Travel and multiple nights in an environment that makes you crazy is not neccessary. You are a grown up. Its OK to make your own tradition.

Saying it from the perspective of someone who stepped away from the tradition to get away from the abuse: these kinds of people don’t leave you alone just because you’re “making your own tradition” or because you’re a grown up. In the fall, I can’t pickup the phone, check my texts or my emails without being berated by my elderly mother or being scolded by people she’s charged with doing her dirty work. A lot of people on her have made the calculation that a few days’ suffering is better than months of punishment.

If the facts are on your side, this shouldn't be an issue. One or two explanations "We aren't coming because it's not an enjoyable environment." And then some concession that you can stomach "would you be interested in coming to Susie's band recital next weekend?" Or "we are available to face time at X", then you just move on.

If others come at you, again, explain calmly and without theatrics. Ask if there is a common ground they could agree to. Wish them a happy holiday and move on.

I just think so many people want the drama because to them it means family and it’s obligatory. And that is sad.

Please start a new thread for discussing abuse. Please do not ruin this thread for people dealing with the bizarre, the ridiculous, and faintly disturbing family that is mostly just weird, funny, and inexplicable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom proudly told me on Monday that she just finished cooking the turkey so she can re-heat it for us Thursday.

I feel your pain. I am looking at a frozen turkey sitting on the counter. It was fully defrosted LAST YEAR and then REFROZEN when a contingent family did not make it up from the twin cities. This is an 18 pounder. Early tomorrow morning, crimes against nature will be committed in order to finish the thawing. This is one of many attempts on our lives that have/will occur this Thanksgiving. I’m going to go eat a snickers bar and have a Bloody Mary. They don’t believe in food allergies or food safety here, but they believe in large supplies of junk food and nobody monitors your drinking. #winnng

RED PLASTIC BIN IN THE FREEZER LADY PLEASE COME BACK

No, no, no, no, NO. Tell you don't have children who will be eating that killer turkey!

There are children here but none on my watch will eat the Turkey. All of the sane adults work together to protect ourselves and the innocents. The perpetrators don’t get sick. I don’t know if they’ve evolved to have cast iron stomachs or if it’s the alcohol (I’m indulging, not judging, but they drink SO MUCH).

My mother is 97, lives in her home on her own and still drives. She's never had cancer, has normal cholesterol etc. She is a unicorn according to my internist, who doesn't believe she exists. She still gardens and does stuff on her own. She has never been a person concerned with eating healthy foods. She has always eaten a lot of vegetables and few sweets but she's Southern and loves her Southern food. She's never had a heart attack, heart issues, or strokes. She lives in the hot South. She leaves food out all the time. We just visited and she made sausage and biscuits several mornings and they sat out all day. We didn't realize and the first day, most of us had stomach issues. I'm pretty certain she has poisoned herself so many times with every possible food borne illness that it has killed anything that can kill her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL will precook broccoli in the morning because it “takes too long to cook” at a mealtime. She will then reheat it when it’s time to eat. Also food safety means nothing. Meat left on the counter for hours is a common occurrence. I won’t eat what she makes. Luckily we are at our house this year so no issues.

One of my favorite things here is the never ending bottle of salad dressing. Some years ago they bought a bottle of strawberry vinaigrette. They just keep adding vinegar, oil, whatever to the bottle and shaking it. That bottle is at least three years old and to my knowledge it has never been washed. Pretty much if it was cooked in or sourced from this house, and you didn’t witness it being opened in a reasonable timeframe you are taking your life into your hands if you eat it.

Meh. This is probably fine.

I bet it's disgusting. Counting on the vinegar to kill things is kind of iffy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's now 8:45 and we are holding dinner -- pizza ordered take out, mind you -- until the last guest arrives. She texted 2 hours ago that she was on her way. She lives 15 minutes away. We are still waiting -- 7 of us -- almost two hours later, because we "can't start until Larla arrives. She's on her way." And no one wants to text her and find out where the hell she is, because "she said she was on her way."

2 hours ago.

This is one of those times where I wouldn't go along. I'd take a car or uber to get food for myself and my family. That's just too rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's now 8:45 and we are holding dinner -- pizza ordered take out, mind you -- until the last guest arrives. She texted 2 hours ago that she was on her way. She lives 15 minutes away. We are still waiting -- 7 of us -- almost two hours later, because we "can't start until Larla arrives. She's on her way." And no one wants to text her and find out where the hell she is, because "she said she was on her way."

2 hours ago.

This is one of those times where I wouldn't go along. I'd take a car or uber to get food for myself and my family. That's just too rude.

Agree. Its take out pizza?? Say, we are eating now and have at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this thread is intended in jest and there are some great stories. But I am also shocked at how spineless some grown adults are! If visiting family is miserable or abusive in any way, STOP DOING IT! It's not mandatory. Many people eat Thanksgiving with only their nuclear family. You can also do that. Travel and multiple nights in an environment that makes you crazy is not neccessary. You are a grown up. Its OK to make your own tradition.

Saying it from the perspective of someone who stepped away from the tradition to get away from the abuse: these kinds of people don’t leave you alone just because you’re “making your own tradition” or because you’re a grown up. In the fall, I can’t pickup the phone, check my texts or my emails without being berated by my elderly mother or being scolded by people she’s charged with doing her dirty work. A lot of people on her have made the calculation that a few days’ suffering is better than months of punishment.

If the facts are on your side, this shouldn't be an issue. One or two explanations "We aren't coming because it's not an enjoyable environment." And then some concession that you can stomach "would you be interested in coming to Susie's band recital next weekend?" Or "we are available to face time at X", then you just move on.

If others come at you, again, explain calmly and without theatrics. Ask if there is a common ground they could agree to. Wish them a happy holiday and move on.

I just think so many people want the drama because to them it means family and its obligatory. And that is sad.

Drop your number in here and you can chat with my mom about it and report back to everyone here.