What's weird about where you are staying - Thanksgiving 2024 edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL’s house has the fewest outlets, the dullest knives, and the oldest spices ever.

Me again her paprika is literally in this tin.

Please keep this tin! Ask MIL if you can have it as a display piece, then mail to me.

I love it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My whole family celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday with my ILs in suburban MD. Their house was 74 and I was sweltering - kept going outside to cool off and put a cold can up to my head. I am menopausal, BTW.

Your lucky, my in-laws keep their house at 79. It is unbearable. MIL has dementia and will agree to lower it a few degrees but then gets cold and gets angry that someone touched the thermostat. Guest rooms are on the second floor and even warmer plus the windows are painted shut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Where does MIL live? Is it cold outside and she can’t afford to heat her house higher than 65? I can’t quite follow. Most older people have real circulation issues and insist on the house being in the 80s, so you may be a lucky one there. You can always put more layers on.

PNW. MIL is actually very wealthy, hence financial planning stress. It's a weird thing about DH's family. They keep house at 60 and wear jackets inside. It's a favor that house is set at 65, but I'm still freezing. DD is wearing gloves!

Omg, you’re nicer than I am…I literally couldn’t stay there ever again. Cannot stand being cold.

Well, I appreciate being called 'nice'. My ILs are actually pretty nice, compared to other stories I've heard. When he was alive, FIL in particular treated me like a daughter. But the temperature thing is super weird. They are a sailing family and have those glass Galileo thermometers with the temperature beads all over the house. When DH and we're dating and I first came over, I wondered if they were broken since the beads were all clumped together. Nope...it was just that cold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Where does MIL live? Is it cold outside and she can’t afford to heat her house higher than 65? I can’t quite follow. Most older people have real circulation issues and insist on the house being in the 80s, so you may be a lucky one there. You can always put more layers on.

PNW. MIL is actually very wealthy, hence financial planning stress. It's a weird thing about DH's family. They keep house at 60 and wear jackets inside. It's a favor that house is set at 65, but I'm still freezing. DD is wearing gloves!

Wow! Did they grow up poor? Wearing jackets in the house is really unusual and I like a cool house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not put up with that. If I’m not comfortable. I’m staying in a hotel.

Of course MIL also lives relatively far from nearest hotel etc. DS is now wearing a hat and puffer jacket...

This is why I have no shame about day drinking here

Since it’s not a money issue, just go turn the thermostat up to 70. Have one of your kids distract everyone if necessary.

Not all at once. You have to do it a degree or two at time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

Where does MIL live? Is it cold outside and she can’t afford to heat her house higher than 65? I can’t quite follow. Most older people have real circulation issues and insist on the house being in the 80s, so you may be a lucky one there. You can always put more layers on.

PNW. MIL is actually very wealthy, hence financial planning stress. It's a weird thing about DH's family. They keep house at 60 and wear jackets inside. It's a favor that house is set at 65, but I'm still freezing. DD is wearing gloves!

I bought a space heater for my MIL’s house. We sleep downstairs and it’s colder down there than upstairs. The space heater mostly solves the problem.

If not that, then hotel.

A stealth electric blanket also works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know the kind of people who spend a lot of money on renovations but make the absolute worst choices that end up making the house a more ugly and less functional place to live? That's my in-laws. Over the past few years, they have:

**Redone the entire den, but left the asbestos ceiling that has a hole and flakes of asbestos falling out of it because rehabbing the asbestos "would have meant we couldn't afford to renovate the den."

**Redid the outdoor patio with slippery indoor tiles that are a super hazard whenever it rains because "they look better. you won't believe how much I had to push the tile salesmen to sell us the tiles, i had to tell him we were going to use them inside! what's it to him where we put the tiles after we buy them??"

**Re-did front and back steps to the house, but refuse to put in a hand-rail because "It would make it look ugly"

**Replaced the 100+ year old solid mahogany wood doors throughout the house with particleboard doors because MIL decided she wanted "white doors." She told us happily, "the renovators took all those old doors away for free!" New doors don't close properly, squeak, paint is already peeling, drafts and sounds carry, etc.

**Re-did the bathrooms. Refused to put in grab bars ("those are for old people!"). No tub, just a shower that already leaks, tiles cracked, the door swells with resultant humidity making it impossible to close.

**Put in a roof deck but didn't put in a staircase to the roof deck because they thought the wrought iron staircase maker their roof guy recommended was "a crook" because he wanted 5k for a custom staircase and they thought they could find a cheaper source. It's been 5 years and no, they have not found a cheaper staircase maker.

I know this thread is supposed to be fun, but as someone who very recently lost a loved one from mesothelioma: Run. And don't let your kids in the house. It is heartbreaking.

+1. No one should be staying in that house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not put up with that. If I’m not comfortable. I’m staying in a hotel.

Of course MIL also lives relatively far from nearest hotel etc. DS is now wearing a hat and puffer jacket...

This is why I have no shame about day drinking here

Since it’s not a money issue, just go turn the thermostat up to 70. Have one of your kids distract everyone if necessary.

Not all at once. You have to do it a degree or two at time.

I am that person -- I grew up with the house at 60 and have it set to 63-64 pretty much all the time. (We also have bad circulation, so even when it is higher there are rooms that are too hot and too cold). We have some targeted space heaters in certain places that we can turn on/off if we want. We have the money, and I know I drive my husband nuts, but I can't get over the feeling of wastefulness. its a hard habit to break!

(my father still turns it to 55 downstairs overnight, so at least I'm better than that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not put up with that. If I’m not comfortable. I’m staying in a hotel.

Of course MIL also lives relatively far from nearest hotel etc. DS is now wearing a hat and puffer jacket...

This is why I have no shame about day drinking here

Since it’s not a money issue, just go turn the thermostat up to 70. Have one of your kids distract everyone if necessary.

Not all at once. You have to do it a degree or two at time.

I am that person -- I grew up with the house at 60 and have it set to 63-64 pretty much all the time. (We also have bad circulation, so even when it is higher there are rooms that are too hot and too cold). We have some targeted space heaters in certain places that we can turn on/off if we want. We have the money, and I know I drive my husband nuts, but I can't get over the feeling of wastefulness. its a hard habit to break!

(my father still turns it to 55 downstairs overnight, so at least I'm better than that).

I would love this (says the woman in menopause)

[Anonymous]

I’m from Canada. My parents turn it to 55 over night, everyone has great bedding. I don’t do that in my own home but it doesn’t bother me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL’s house has the fewest outlets, the dullest knives, and the oldest spices ever.

Me again her paprika is literally in this tin.

Ah, that’s awesome! Last year my then-13yo went through my spices and tossed anything older than him. Sadly, I lost a fair number that day!

Found a few of these tins in my inlaws cabinet. Most had masking tape labels with different spice names written on them.

[Anonymous]

I am sleeping in a motherf@#$ing twin sized little tikes fireman bed that was probably made in 1987 in a basement in WISCONSIN and it is so so so cold that my husband and my youngest are also huddled in here. How important is extended family really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Arrived at MIL's yesterday, and am here for the whole week. Need a distraction from her fretting over cooking (which I am doing all of) and financial planning (which she only trusts DH around).

I'll start:

- House is freezing. MIL considers setting temp to 65 high, and says it's because kids are from south (California). I grew up in Midwest, BTW. I've been wrapped up in blanket since getting here...MIL nearly fainted when I suggested setting temp to 67.
- MIL insists on hosting dinner. Will no longer let me host, which involves travel, nor SIL who is 15 minutes away. But MIL hates cooking and does not have a full size oven...so getting meal together is lots of coordination and drama.

You are a cliche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sleeping in a motherf@#$ing twin sized little tikes fireman bed that was probably made in 1987 in a basement in WISCONSIN and it is so so so cold that my husband and my youngest are also huddled in here. How important is extended family really?

I would die. My ILs also keep the house at freezing temps (wasps from new England) and I'm freezing. I'm from Southern Europe, I was not made for this. And for the Canadians sleeping at 55s, warm bedding doesn't help. My face is freezing. I have to wear socks to bed.

[Anonymous]

Do these family members get offended if you don’t stay in their homes? Why not get an AirBnb or hotel?

Luckily my mom’s house is too small to sleep us all anyway, so we always stay elsewhere.