I am an Asian woman married to a white guy. Ask me (practically) anything.

[Anonymous]

Subject says it all. As long as it's not too identifying, I will try to answer.

[Anonymous]

Do you know any nice Asian guys who are into white chicks?

[Anonymous]

Are you happy?

[Anonymous]

How does it feel being his fetish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does it feel being his fetish?

I was going to ask what would you say to those who'll say you're a trophy wife?

[Anonymous]

How did your parents feel about you marrying someone outside your race? Is he the only man you've ever slept with? If not, is he substantially bigger than Asian men you've slept with? If you have kids, do people make hapa comments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know any nice Asian guys who are into white chicks?

A lot of Asian guys you see would probably be into white chicks. They are kind of shy, though, a lot of it is cultural--for both genders. Don't take their standoffishness for disinterest.

Every white girl/Asian boy coupling I know, and they are all now married so not some fly-by-night thing, the woman I think was a bit more explicit in showing her interest to the man. In one case, she asked the guy out for coffee first. In another, she slept with him right away (no, he didn't think she was a slut for doing so either, only assholes think that). In another one, she just told him she found him to be "really cute," would he be interested?

Well, it all worked out for them. But culturally, Asian culture tends to be less hail-fellow-well-met than American culture. But unfortunately, the U.S. does not have the societal structure for meeting under these circumstances. There are no arranged dates, and no "booking." Booking is very popular in Asian clubs, and takes away a lot of the nerve-wracking chances guys take in approaching girls. But booking is there because Asian guys just don't like getting shot down.

So, show that you won't shoot them down, and ask the guy out for coffee! You might just find yourself married to a hard-working guy with an advanced degree who treats you real good and doesn't do drugs.

Me, I found my soulmate outside my ethnicity, but I'm just glad he wasn't in Alaska or Madasgascar because I would have never met him then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you happy?

OP here. Happy with my marriage. Having some job issues but completely unrelated to the topic.

[Anonymous]

What's your favorite movie or tv series?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does it feel being his fetish?

I was wondering when you would come out. Well, in the spirit of these Ask-Me-Anything threads, I will respond seriously, because I actually know what you are getting at behind your anonymous ill-will. The fetishizers do exist, and American women of Asian descent (of which I am one) are generally pretty good at weeding them out. I know within 5 minutes of the "Konichiwa, lovely lady!" and the "I love chow mein, it's my favorite food" that I found one. I am generally polite and get the hell away immediately. There may be Asian women who date those guys, maybe they have low self-esteem, I don't know.

As for my DH, well, after meeting him in an Ivy institution and having a couple of kids, I doubt he would have stuck around this long just because I look vaguely like Lucy Liu--which I don't, by the way.

[Anonymous]

Asian-American or born in Asia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does it feel being his fetish?

I was going to ask what would you say to those who'll say you're a trophy wife?

I'm no trophy wife. I'm just a cranky, working-mom wife who lets the laundry pile up and yells at poor DH when he forgets to take out the trash. I'm working on that. Apparently Asian wives are not supposed to do that.

[Anonymous]

If Asians are all that great and Whites are losing all that hype then why did you choose a white man over an Asian one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did your parents feel about you marrying someone outside your race? Is he the only man you've ever slept with? If not, is he substantially bigger than Asian men you've slept with? If you have kids, do people make hapa comments?

Parents were ok. They had reservations at first because DH is Jewish, and I'm Catholic. Well, lapsed, but parents go to Mass every Sunday. Religion's really important to them. They didn't know too much about Judaism. But they looked into it and came to the conclusion that Jews are practically Catholics anyway so it's ok (don't ask). But I was pretty headstrong about it. I would have married anyway even if their disapproval ratings were higher. They were extremely approving of his education levels, I remember.

He's the only man I slept with.

People do not make hapa comments. I make hapa comments, though. What do you mean by hapa comments? Like nasty, racial ones? No. People in public sometimes ask me if my kids are mixed if it's just me with them, and I answer them, I don't find those questions mean. Maybe a little intrusive, but they are asked in a friendly way so I answer them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's your favorite movie or tv series?

I actually don't watch too much TV. But I've always loved The Godfather. I and II only.