Au Pair just asked for more money

Anonymous
Mandatory reading for the OP’s book club:

Alex Tizon remembers and has remorse for how is many was treated

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/06/lolas-story/524490/

Alex Tizon struggled to write about Lola, the woman who helped raise him. He was 11 before he realized she was his family’s slave
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t drink. And no I’m not Trump or in AA. Nor am I an oracle, yet I can see the MA law enacted in DC. In fact the bill has been proposed (a bill that would enable that change, slowed by Covid).
By the way, why this need to put down fellow women as drunks sopping you the wine? You can’t discuss something and take in on the chin when there are facts to the contrary?


But you’re not presenting facts. You’re spewing nonsense.


Is this still about husbands? Read back and see the exact quote and source. Not scientific but there isn’t a reliable science (State Dpt list includes a minority of complaints received)?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!


Yeah nice try but au pairs are part of the program on a voluntary basis. No one is capturing them by the hundred or thousands and transporting across the ocean in filthy inhumane conditions and then chaining and beating them.

Aren’t you at least a little bit ashamed of yourself for trying to draw a comparison between SLAVERY and a program young people apply to participate in? You’re disgusting.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Kimberly Guilfoyle! Is the best yet to come?


Mmm hmm whatever. So if it’s modern day slavery tell me why the leaders of the home countries of au pairs are so willing to sell their young citizens into slavery? Don’t you think at least one world leader would be brave enough to stand up and say “no, I shall send no more of my country’s young women into bondage”?

A voluntary program that one can leave at any time is not slavery. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself for equating the two. Seriously, why don’t you survey a dozen or so American descendants of slaves and say “hey, don’t you think the au pair program is slavery? You volunteer for it, can leave any time, and your host family would be arrested for harming you in any way. They’re like totally equivalent, right?”
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t drink. And no I’m not Trump or in AA. Nor am I an oracle, yet I can see the MA law enacted in DC. In fact the bill has been proposed (a bill that would enable that change, slowed by Covid).
By the way, why this need to put down fellow women as drunks sopping you the wine? You can’t discuss something and take in on the chin when there are facts to the contrary?


But you’re not presenting facts. You’re spewing nonsense.


Is this still about husbands? Read back and see the exact quote and source. Not scientific but there isn’t a reliable science (State Dpt list includes a minority of complaints received)?


There was no source. It was just utter nonsense to cover up for the initial rank misogyny.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!


Yeah nice try but au pairs are part of the program on a voluntary basis. No one is capturing them by the hundred or thousands and transporting across the ocean in filthy inhumane conditions and then chaining and beating them.

Aren’t you at least a little bit ashamed of yourself for trying to draw a comparison between SLAVERY and a program young people apply to participate in? You’re disgusting.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Kimberly Guilfoyle! Is the best yet to come?


Mmm hmm whatever. So if it’s modern day slavery tell me why the leaders of the home countries of au pairs are so willing to sell their young citizens into slavery? Don’t you think at least one world leader would be brave enough to stand up and say “no, I shall send no more of my country’s young women into bondage”?

A voluntary program that one can leave at any time is not slavery. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself for equating the two. Seriously, why don’t you survey a dozen or so American descendants of slaves and say “hey, don’t you think the au pair program is slavery? You volunteer for it, can leave any time, and your host family would be arrested for harming you in any way. They’re like totally equivalent, right?”


It wasn’t me who said it. You do sound a bit like Kim though? If we can adopt MA ruling everywhere and go back to the original intent, the program could be excellent. As it is, Bernie called it a scam.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!


Yeah nice try but au pairs are part of the program on a voluntary basis. No one is capturing them by the hundred or thousands and transporting across the ocean in filthy inhumane conditions and then chaining and beating them.

Aren’t you at least a little bit ashamed of yourself for trying to draw a comparison between SLAVERY and a program young people apply to participate in? You’re disgusting.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Kimberly Guilfoyle! Is the best yet to come?


Mmm hmm whatever. So if it’s modern day slavery tell me why the leaders of the home countries of au pairs are so willing to sell their young citizens into slavery? Don’t you think at least one world leader would be brave enough to stand up and say “no, I shall send no more of my country’s young women into bondage”?

A voluntary program that one can leave at any time is not slavery. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself for equating the two. Seriously, why don’t you survey a dozen or so American descendants of slaves and say “hey, don’t you think the au pair program is slavery? You volunteer for it, can leave any time, and your host family would be arrested for harming you in any way. They’re like totally equivalent, right?”


It wasn’t me who said it. You do sound a bit like Kim though? If we can adopt MA ruling everywhere and go back to the original intent, the program could be excellent. As it is, Bernie called it a scam.


Bernie calls a lot of things scams. Let’s stay focused on facts, not a blustering blowhard deadbeat dad who knows nothing about raising kids.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t drink. And no I’m not Trump or in AA. Nor am I an oracle, yet I can see the MA law enacted in DC. In fact the bill has been proposed (a bill that would enable that change, slowed by Covid).
By the way, why this need to put down fellow women as drunks sopping you the wine? You can’t discuss something and take in on the chin when there are facts to the contrary?


But you’re not presenting facts. You’re spewing nonsense.


Is this still about husbands? Read back and see the exact quote and source. Not scientific but there isn’t a reliable science (State Dpt list includes a minority of complaints received)?


There was no source. It was just utter nonsense to cover up for the initial rank misogyny.


This is classics playbook. Find an unimportant piece, inflate it, use it to question the source, bring doubt to the main parts. That is where I got this from. Gosh, January can’t come fast enough. Maybe everyone goes back to being decent.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!


Yeah nice try but au pairs are part of the program on a voluntary basis. No one is capturing them by the hundred or thousands and transporting across the ocean in filthy inhumane conditions and then chaining and beating them.

Aren’t you at least a little bit ashamed of yourself for trying to draw a comparison between SLAVERY and a program young people apply to participate in? You’re disgusting.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Kimberly Guilfoyle! Is the best yet to come?


Mmm hmm whatever. So if it’s modern day slavery tell me why the leaders of the home countries of au pairs are so willing to sell their young citizens into slavery? Don’t you think at least one world leader would be brave enough to stand up and say “no, I shall send no more of my country’s young women into bondage”?

A voluntary program that one can leave at any time is not slavery. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself for equating the two. Seriously, why don’t you survey a dozen or so American descendants of slaves and say “hey, don’t you think the au pair program is slavery? You volunteer for it, can leave any time, and your host family would be arrested for harming you in any way. They’re like totally equivalent, right?”


It wasn’t me who said it. You do sound a bit like Kim though? If we can adopt MA ruling everywhere and go back to the original intent, the program could be excellent. As it is, Bernie called it a scam.


Bernie calls a lot of things scams. Let’s stay focused on facts, not a blustering blowhard deadbeat dad who knows nothing about raising kids.


Kim, it is you! Bernie was a test balloon. Just my daily MAGA sweep of DCUM. Congrats, you’ve been caught.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t drink. And no I’m not Trump or in AA. Nor am I an oracle, yet I can see the MA law enacted in DC. In fact the bill has been proposed (a bill that would enable that change, slowed by Covid).
By the way, why this need to put down fellow women as drunks sopping you the wine? You can’t discuss something and take in on the chin when there are facts to the contrary?


But you’re not presenting facts. You’re spewing nonsense.


Is this still about husbands? Read back and see the exact quote and source. Not scientific but there isn’t a reliable science (State Dpt list includes a minority of complaints received)?


There was no source. It was just utter nonsense to cover up for the initial rank misogyny.


This is classics playbook. Find an unimportant piece, inflate it, use it to question the source, bring doubt to the main parts. That is where I got this from. Gosh, January can’t come fast enough. Maybe everyone goes back to being decent.


The main point was a misogynistic one: only mothers benefit from the au pair program. Because childcare is the problem of women. On that point you and Bernie sure do agree!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!


Yeah nice try but au pairs are part of the program on a voluntary basis. No one is capturing them by the hundred or thousands and transporting across the ocean in filthy inhumane conditions and then chaining and beating them.

Aren’t you at least a little bit ashamed of yourself for trying to draw a comparison between SLAVERY and a program young people apply to participate in? You’re disgusting.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Kimberly Guilfoyle! Is the best yet to come?


Mmm hmm whatever. So if it’s modern day slavery tell me why the leaders of the home countries of au pairs are so willing to sell their young citizens into slavery? Don’t you think at least one world leader would be brave enough to stand up and say “no, I shall send no more of my country’s young women into bondage”?

A voluntary program that one can leave at any time is not slavery. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself for equating the two. Seriously, why don’t you survey a dozen or so American descendants of slaves and say “hey, don’t you think the au pair program is slavery? You volunteer for it, can leave any time, and your host family would be arrested for harming you in any way. They’re like totally equivalent, right?”


It wasn’t me who said it. You do sound a bit like Kim though? If we can adopt MA ruling everywhere and go back to the original intent, the program could be excellent. As it is, Bernie called it a scam.


Bernie calls a lot of things scams. Let’s stay focused on facts, not a blustering blowhard deadbeat dad who knows nothing about raising kids.


Kim, it is you! Bernie was a test balloon. Just my daily MAGA sweep of DCUM. Congrats, you’ve been caught.


You’re an idiot. God I hope you aren’t my associate. I’ll have to have a good paralegal double check the cites until I’m sure.
Anonymous
I didn’t hear that. Sorry if I misunderstood, your point said families but husbands benefit, not mothers but... of course all
do. The main point though is that voluntary adoption of the program ideals and the MA ruling would allow us to revive the program in the light of its intent.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!


Yeah nice try but au pairs are part of the program on a voluntary basis. No one is capturing them by the hundred or thousands and transporting across the ocean in filthy inhumane conditions and then chaining and beating them.

Aren’t you at least a little bit ashamed of yourself for trying to draw a comparison between SLAVERY and a program young people apply to participate in? You’re disgusting.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Kimberly Guilfoyle! Is the best yet to come?


Mmm hmm whatever. So if it’s modern day slavery tell me why the leaders of the home countries of au pairs are so willing to sell their young citizens into slavery? Don’t you think at least one world leader would be brave enough to stand up and say “no, I shall send no more of my country’s young women into bondage”?

A voluntary program that one can leave at any time is not slavery. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself for equating the two. Seriously, why don’t you survey a dozen or so American descendants of slaves and say “hey, don’t you think the au pair program is slavery? You volunteer for it, can leave any time, and your host family would be arrested for harming you in any way. They’re like totally equivalent, right?”


It wasn’t me who said it. You do sound a bit like Kim though? If we can adopt MA ruling everywhere and go back to the original intent, the program could be excellent. As it is, Bernie called it a scam.


Bernie calls a lot of things scams. Let’s stay focused on facts, not a blustering blowhard deadbeat dad who knows nothing about raising kids.


Kim, it is you! Bernie was a test balloon. Just my daily MAGA sweep of DCUM. Congrats, you’ve been caught.


You’re an idiot. God I hope you aren’t my associate. I’ll have to have a good paralegal double check the cites until I’m sure.


I don’t think you’re a partner. TBH
Anonymous
Why not ask “your” paralegal to prepare a submission to the OAG to enact the change? Vs. fact-check DCUM (which was cited correctly indeed), which I’m sure in itself breaches a bunch of employment regs
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t hear that. Sorry if I misunderstood, your point said families but husbands benefit, not mothers but... of course all
do. The main point though is that voluntary adoption of the program ideals and the MA ruling would allow us to revive the program in the light of its intent.


You are the one who said mothers. Not parents, mothers.

I’m fully complaint with the MA rules. I’m not remotely afraid of reform. But I don’t even do particularly well matching, despite my low hours and well over stipend pay and above ground bedroom with private bath. Au pairs apparently don’t focus on pay and benefits as much as people seem to think. They have their own idea of what the benefits of the program are, and clearly it’s not about maximizing total compensation. Which makes me wonder how much people are trying to solve a problem that isn’t one at all. Even my au former pairs who got a fat settlement check after the lawsuit thought its premise was silly.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How many women who are against au pairs are still the ones who want to get manicures and pedicures?

I don't have a dog in this fight, but you're a hypocrite if you whine about au pairs while relying on a nail salon.


Do you mean a horse and this race? Because, don’t get us started on dog fights... it’s a felony in all the states, unlike apparently paying your childminder a fraction of a minimum wage
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