Au Pair just asked for more money

[Anonymous]

Much less relevant than everything we discussed. You might question the source but here you go:
nypost.com/2017/05/24/the-nannys-worst-nightmare-your-husband/
“ The number one complaint from nannies was over-familiar dads.”

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:MA ruling:
Host families can deduct up to $42/week for meals provided to the au pair and take a room deduction of up to $35/week. For an au pair that works the maximum 45 hours in a week, their pay will be no less than $528.65/week (40 hours @ $12.75/hour + 5 hours @ $19.13/hour – $77 for room and board).

This is very important information for people who live in Massachusetts.

You should not try to the bare minimum, Ivanka.

I pay significantly over stipend. But I can understand the law. You should stop practicing law without a license, it makes you look foolish. And even worse, if you have a law degree...

Enjoy while the exploitation lasts. Tick tock... While we all wait with our popcorn, ask yourself why it’s not ok to get either the $ or hrs to where you are not exploiting someone below min wage?

I don’t drink. And no I’m not Trump or in AA. Nor am I an oracle, yet I can see the MA law enacted in DC. In fact the bill has been proposed
Are you drunk? It says right there I pay significantly over stipend. Quick eat that popcorn and sop up the wine.

[Anonymous]

I don’t drink. And no I’m not Trump or in AA. Nor am I an oracle, yet I can see the MA law enacted in DC. In fact the bill has been proposed (a bill that would enable that change, slowed by Covid).
By the way, why this need to put down fellow women as drunks sopping you the wine? You can’t discuss something and take in on the chin when there are facts to the contrary?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP, as a fellow host mom the dynamics have changed a lot and many au pairs - now scarce and in demand - are understandably leveraging the new dynamic.

That said, I think if you can afford to pay her more, do so, make her show you she is stepping it up. I think the PP at 5:55 is spot on, but I would phrase it more positively.

Trump froze au pair visas for the pandemic. Biden might lift that but I doubt he’ll do it in the first 90 days while we’re staying at 500,000 Americ as is dead. The au pair deserves more money especially if the kid(s) are home 24/7.

A normal nanny, even with board, would be 2x this for multiple kids.

Depends on the number of hours. Starting live-ins frequently make minimum wage, and if they’re working doing less than 25 hours per week, they could easily gross less than $200.

Good nannies made $25./hour plus benefits, plus holiday bonus, plus overtime - this was almost 20 years ago. There is good reason women pay for au pairs - and the grandmothers brag in bridge class, like their daughter who has an au pair has "made it" - no, your daughter is just cheap, and can't afford a real nanny.

Then, there are the families who think $10./hour plus a uniform for a nanny is "normal" in the U.S. - no, no it's not.

An au pair is bargain for the mom, and the mom, only. It's almost free child care.

It's all relative. A nanny would never be grateful for a live-in job for $10/hr that was only 25-35 hours a week but a split schedule. Au pairs think they're getting a great deal, and are grateful for the money and perks. I'd rather have a happy au pair than an impossible to please nanny, who knows some nanny out there is getting $100k with private jet trips to Aspen. We have had wonderful experiences with au pairs. We could easily afford a nanny, but they've been much more reliable and less entitled than nannies, so we stick with them.

Also, even if I accepted your premise that only parents are getting a good deal, it's just as much a good deal for fathers. Check your misogyny.

We KNOW it’s a great deal for fathers. That’s a no1 complaint of au pairs. Handsy creepy fathers

It certainly is not. The #1 complaint is going over hours. Have you actually met au pairs or are you just a bitter nanny?

OMG. Here it goes. People saying there are Covid cases in schools are teachers; people thinking Trump who’s by the way rushing to execute as many people as possible before 1/20 needs to be held responsible are Socialists, people saying you should respect not the letter of unjust law but do the right thing which is already the law in parts of our land are Nannies! No, big law partner mama here. In DC proper. With kids

Great! Then your ignorance about au pair woes is for other reasons! Why don't you educate yourself, mama. As a fellow biglaw lawyer, I know you have the skills if you actually want to find out. Handsy dads are appalling, but rare. Dads who think traffic problems aren't really their fault as 10 hours stretches into 10.5, now that's common.

I HAVE found out. Pay the minimum wage or above; or reduce hours.

I do both! Lower hours, pay over minimum wage in my state. A full month of vacation, all education expenses (not just the family contribution minimum) paid. That has nothing to do with your claim that the #1 problem au pairs have is sexual assault from fathers. A truly absurd and incorrect claim.

Well done. Dial down the belligerency and you get a cigar

[Anonymous]

Guess what too? Now you all now. So when you say your little prayer but keep exploiting your childcare person, just know that you actually know and are sinning (if you care about that) and that the laws are coming for you soon too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is shocking about the OP and her friends is not just all that is wrong with how the program has been warped over the years, but the behaviors in their direct control thar speak to them as people directly:
(1) unwillingness to negotiate while knowing you are paying someone $4.46/hr BUT
(2) willingness to pay more if au pair does more hours and illegal work AND
(3) willingness to write out a script that has a goal to intimidate a person dependent on you and weaker than you
Shame!

THIS!

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!

[Anonymous]

Our past au pairs:
- middle class French, still very close after 6 years
- middle/upper MC Columbian doing an extension year, sticking around to party
- middle/upper middle class Italian, lovely intelligent woman
- surly young upper middle class German
- middle/upper middle class German

None of our au pairs came from particularly low income families. All were middle class to upper middle class either college educated or parents were college educated in the case of the surly young German, and she was college bound. ALL of these girls seemed to have extra cash to burn. All thought our house and car and free phone were fantastic. None suggested or behaved as it they were being oppressed by having all expenses paid and being handed $200/wk in “going out” money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!

Kudos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!

Yeah nice try but au pairs are part of the program on a voluntary basis. No one is capturing them by the hundred or thousands and transporting across the ocean in filthy inhumane conditions and then chaining and beating them.

Aren’t you at least a little bit ashamed of yourself for trying to draw a comparison between SLAVERY and a program young people apply to participate in? You’re disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the South and this discussion is uncomfortably familiar; old Southern families, Daughters of the Confederacy, still flew the flag and insisted that their ancestors' slaves were 'part of the family' and 'were treated so well.' Regardless of the conditions. One day we will look back at this 'cultural exchange' disbelievingly, at how young foreign people, mostly female, were shamelessly exploited. Look at what you are doing, dcurbanmoms who are part of this, and stop now!

Yeah nice try but au pairs are part of the program on a voluntary basis. No one is capturing them by the hundred or thousands and transporting across the ocean in filthy inhumane conditions and then chaining and beating them.

Aren’t you at least a little bit ashamed of yourself for trying to draw a comparison between SLAVERY and a program young people apply to participate in? You’re disgusting.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Kimberly Guilfoyle! Is the best yet to come?

[Anonymous]

Is that mirror into which you are looking a little uncomfortable? Are you aware that sometimes people sold themselves into slavery?

[Anonymous]

How many women who are against au pairs are still the ones who want to get manicures and pedicures?

I don't have a dog in this fight, but you're a hypocrite if you whine about au pairs while relying on a nail salon.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Additional pay for additional chores done if which are not kosher.
Tasks that are inappropriate for Au Pairs (there is a very long list includes meals dishes etc)
cleaning messes the children left during the Au Pair’s off hours;
working overtime (past 45 hours/ week) for any reason, even with additional pay
Etc etc etc

OP said she works under hours. And the tidying up likely referred to tasks while on duty and related to the kids.

And you believe what the OP said? When the OP said she works full-time, has a preschool-aged child and an ES kid in full-time distance learning?

LOL.

Later in the thread OP shared the hours. The au pair is on from 8 AM - 3 PM, I believe. HM makes up missing work hours after kid bedtime.

And again, you believe that? With the attitude displayed by the OP throughout this thread?

Some people are shockingly gullible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t drink. And no I’m not Trump or in AA. Nor am I an oracle, yet I can see the MA law enacted in DC. In fact the bill has been proposed (a bill that would enable that change, slowed by Covid).
By the way, why this need to put down fellow women as drunks sopping you the wine? You can’t discuss something and take in on the chin when there are facts to the contrary?

But you’re not presenting facts. You’re spewing nonsense.