Why don't people leave their spouse instead of having affairs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fair point. If I stopped having sex with my husband I'd have to replace him with somebody else, because I do like sex. But my drive for sex with him is low low lower than it would be with somebody new. I am not hot for him. I am hot for others.

So basically, it's the desire for someone new, sexually. Your desire to have sex with your husband has dropped off because it's too familiar.

Not exactly. I mean ... 1) I'm still having sex with my husband 2) a drop in desire for him is due to other issues we have and 3) of course newness is exciting!

And the "other issues" that have lowered your desire for sex with your husband are....?

Not anything I want to share with you, but thank you for asking.

[Anonymous]

So this talks about the sex aspect. According to many of you, if the wife isn't exciting in bed, the husband is then entitled to find it elsewhere. What if the husband isn't fulfilling her emotionally? For example, the only time he shows any sort of affection for the wife is when he wants something. Doesn't compliment her, doesn't give birthday gifts or even really acknowledge her birthday, would never even think of planning a date, doesn't ask her about her day, etc. Is the wife equally entitled to go get herself another man to romance her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So this talks about the sex aspect. According to many of you, if the wife isn't exciting in bed, the husband is then entitled to find it elsewhere. What if the husband isn't fulfilling her emotionally? For example, the only time he shows any sort of affection for the wife is when he wants something. Doesn't compliment her, doesn't give birthday gifts or even really acknowledge her birthday, would never even think of planning a date, doesn't ask her about her day, etc. Is the wife equally entitled to go get herself another man to romance her?

Of course. But she is not "entitled," she is FREE to do whatever she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this talks about the sex aspect. According to many of you, if the wife isn't exciting in bed, the husband is then entitled to find it elsewhere. What if the husband isn't fulfilling her emotionally? For example, the only time he shows any sort of affection for the wife is when he wants something. Doesn't compliment her, doesn't give birthday gifts or even really acknowledge her birthday, would never even think of planning a date, doesn't ask her about her day, etc. Is the wife equally entitled to go get herself another man to romance her?

Of course. But she is not "entitled," she is FREE to do whatever she wants.

Agreed, it goes both ways!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ Not true. I am still attracted to my husband after 20+ years.

Perhaps you are one of the few I mentioned? But let's just see about that. Being "attracted to" your husband is different from wanting sex with him. Well? And how often do YOU initiate? How often do you reject?

Now take a poll amongst your long time married lady friends. You will see that I am right, that you are (by far!) the exception on this matter.

AND....their husbands are getting sex somewhere other than home. If you are okay with that, then that's your business and fine by me...but don't think your husband and your friends husbands aren't getting laid. PLEASE.

I want my husband every day....and I mean crave him. We have been doing it for 20 years.

Don't be sexists, not only the husbands. Many wives are also getting laid somewhere. New is definitely exciting.

Of course! Women can and do cheat for the same reason. For those women who still want to have sex and have a low drive, not emotionally connected husband, sure, but for those who just don't like sex anymore.....that is a different breed of woman. I know women who are 40 and don't ever want to have sex again...I just think that is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fair point. If I stopped having sex with my husband I'd have to replace him with somebody else, because I do like sex. But my drive for sex with him is low low lower than it would be with somebody new. I am not hot for him. I am hot for others.

So basically, it's the desire for someone new, sexually. Your desire to have sex with your husband has dropped off because it's too familiar.

Not exactly. I mean ... 1) I'm still having sex with my husband 2) a drop in desire for him is due to other issues we have and 3) of course newness is exciting!

And the "other issues" that have lowered your desire for sex with your husband are....?

Not anything I want to share with you, but thank you for asking.[/quote

You're welcome. Thanks for responding to my question without actually answering anything.]

[Anonymous]

many of you indicated that you don’t want to talk to your wives about opening the marriage and potentially divorcing is because of kids.

So what will you do after your kids leave home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:many of you indicated that you don’t want to talk to your wives about opening the marriage and potentially divorcing is because of kids.

So what will you do after your kids leave home?

If my affair is still as good as it is now, divorce. If I am tired and there isn’t anything better waiting for me outside our marriage, stay as is.