Is wife being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

^^COULD HAVE pulled the plug, that was supposed to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I only read the first few pages but I am guessing he didn't take to the idea of taking the toddler himself, non?

He wants to take the toddler himself but his wife wont allow it.

It's his child too and she cannot refuse to let him take child with him.

But she can question who will watch the child while DH and his parents, etc. will be focused on the wedding. She's entitled to know his plan.

+1 Plus the grandparents want the dad and toddler to stay for a week after the wedding so the wife won’t get to spend Christmas with her son. She’s fine with toddler going to the wedding but she doesn’t want him to stay for the week after. But this dh won’t say that to his parents and makes his wife look bad (again). Plus, there will be no one who will be 100% responsible for this not even 2 year old - it’s a stupid plan. This husband should be doing whatever his wife wants and telling his parents to apologize. His priorities are screwed up.

[Anonymous]

I still can’t get over the fact that he let his dad yell at and insult his wife. I’m not sure why that bothers me so much more than his mom’s bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wait I only read the first few pages but I am guessing he didn't take to the idea of taking the toddler himself, non?

He wants to take the toddler himself but his wife wont allow it.

It's his child too and she cannot refuse to let him take child with him.

But she can question who will watch the child while DH and his parents, etc. will be focused on the wedding. She's entitled to know his plan.

+1 Plus the grandparents want the dad and toddler to stay for a week after the wedding so the wife won’t get to spend Christmas with her son. She’s fine with toddler going to the wedding but she doesn’t want him to stay for the week after. But this dh won’t say that to his parents and makes his wife look bad (again). Plus, there will be no one who will be 100% responsible for this not even 2 year old - it’s a stupid plan. This husband should be doing whatever his wife wants and telling his parents to apologize. His priorities are screwed up.

The DH is nuts but your facts are wrong. The DH wants to extend through Christmas if they ALL go. The DW doesn’t want the 2 yo to go even just for the wedding weekend. It’s all still bad, but keep you facts straight!

[Anonymous]

Wow. This guy is a real dick.

[Anonymous]

Many women feel unattractive and exhausted 6 weeks after having a baby. I wouldn't want to be traveling with young kids and feeling like I did 6 weeks post-partum. Give her a break and go have fun. It's not about you or her, it's about your brother and his wife to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so bad for my blood pressure. OP awful. No more words. Poor wife.

I mean, she bears some responsibility too. She married the guy. Then procreated with him. Then did it again. At some point she knew what she had gotten into and pulled the plug. But instead she is a dependent SAHM with this guy and their (now) TWO children. Bet she will have a third.

According to OP, his wife wasn't abused until she first became pregnant. Then his mom promptly accused her of causing birth defects, called her lazy, etc.

So far, I haven't read anything that makes me think that the wife isn't anything but an innocent victim in all of this. Well, I suppose she could have refused to get pregnant again. But then she'd have multiple kids to different fathers (assuming she wanted more than one) and she'd STILL have to deal with prince OP and his almost-unbelievably-obnoxious family. So I'm not sure what she would have gained.

[Anonymous]

This is a perfect example of a wife who does not have an inlaw problem, but a husband problem. He never stood up for her and has likely (based on how he is handling this) made her look bad in the past to his parents so they now have a negative view. When she was pregnant, i could just hear him to his mom "Larla is sleeping all afternoon" "Larla doesn't cook dinner every night, we have to eat out again" "Larla needs to buy new clothes since hers don't fit, why does she eat so much?". HIs mom likely made comments based on what HE told her about the wife so the blame goes to him all around.
What a tool.

If she is smart, while he is at the wedding she will see a lawyer and look for a new place.

[Anonymous]

I hope the overwhelming response you are getting is eye opening to what a selfish partner you are. Also perhaps cut the umbilical cord with your mother. You are married to your wife, not mommy. The fact you side with your mother over your wife makes me want to throat punch you over and over. You sound unbelievably childish and want a woman to just take care of you and all your needs, mommy, wife. That way you get to sit on your golden throne and pass judgements. You’re going to be divorced in 5 years or less dude. I suggest couples counseling, setting firm boundaries with your family , especially your mother, YOUR WIFE COMES FIRST AND YOUR KIDS NOT YOUR PARENTS. Also if my father in law or mother in law ever raised their voices to me or talked to me the way your parents do your wife , I would scorch the earth and my husband’s carcass.... get what I’m saying?? Wise up because right now you sound like a terrible husband and partner. 6wpp??? Are you kidding me?? She needs rest and help, especially with a toddler on top of it! You know what? Blow out your anus, like just have it ripped to shreds, swollen and mangled and bleeding and have your wife tell you to just get over it because her dad wants you guys to visit 3 hours away, while your boobs are swollen and sore and leaking.... tell me if that sounds pleasant for you to sacrifice for your in laws and then let us know how accommodating you are to it.

God damn dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope the overwhelming response you are getting is eye opening to what a selfish partner you are. Also perhaps cut the umbilical cord with your mother. You are married to your wife, not mommy. The fact you side with your mother over your wife makes me want to throat punch you over and over. You sound unbelievably childish and want a woman to just take care of you and all your needs, mommy, wife. That way you get to sit on your golden throne and pass judgements. You’re going to be divorced in 5 years or less dude. I suggest couples counseling, setting firm boundaries with your family , especially your mother, YOUR WIFE COMES FIRST AND YOUR KIDS NOT YOUR PARENTS. Also if my father in law or mother in law ever raised their voices to me or talked to me the way your parents do your wife , I would scorch the earth and my husband’s carcass.... get what I’m saying?? Wise up because right now you sound like a terrible husband and partner. 6wpp??? Are you kidding me?? She needs rest and help, especially with a toddler on top of it! You know what? Blow out your anus, like just have it ripped to shreds, swollen and mangled and bleeding and have your wife tell you to just get over it because her dad wants you guys to visit 3 hours away, while your boobs are swollen and sore and leaking.... tell me if that sounds pleasant for you to sacrifice for your in laws and then let us know how accommodating you are to it.

God damn dude.

Bravo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope the overwhelming response you are getting is eye opening to what a selfish partner you are. Also perhaps cut the umbilical cord with your mother. You are married to your wife, not mommy. The fact you side with your mother over your wife makes me want to throat punch you over and over. You sound unbelievably childish and want a woman to just take care of you and all your needs, mommy, wife. That way you get to sit on your golden throne and pass judgements. You’re going to be divorced in 5 years or less dude. I suggest couples counseling, setting firm boundaries with your family , especially your mother, YOUR WIFE COMES FIRST AND YOUR KIDS NOT YOUR PARENTS. Also if my father in law or mother in law ever raised their voices to me or talked to me the way your parents do your wife , I would scorch the earth and my husband’s carcass.... get what I’m saying?? Wise up because right now you sound like a terrible husband and partner. 6wpp??? Are you kidding me?? She needs rest and help, especially with a toddler on top of it! You know what? Blow out your anus, like just have it ripped to shreds, swollen and mangled and bleeding and have your wife tell you to just get over it because her dad wants you guys to visit 3 hours away, while your boobs are swollen and sore and leaking.... tell me if that sounds pleasant for you to sacrifice for your in laws and then let us know how accommodating you are to it.

God damn dude.

Amen.

[Anonymous]

I would say the compromise is you bring the 2 yo to the wedding and your child gets to have uninterrupted Daddy and Grandparent time, she stays home with the baby. I only have one, but at 6 weeks, I was barely feeling OK by then.

[Anonymous]

OP Can you let us know where you live so when you leave we can bring food to your wife and make sure she's comfortable and resting? She needs support from the internet hoards.

[Anonymous]

I travelled a 2 hour flight with a seven week old and a young 3 year old, by myself.

I won't lie, parts were not bad but a lot of it was rough.

My newborn ended up with a staph infection shortly after the trip. The dry air on the plane caused excema, which got infected shortly after.

OP, leave the wife and infant at home for the safety of the infant.

Bring the toddler with you so your family can see her and so that your wife does not have to manage a 2 year old. A newborn and post partum on her own.

Her first birth was easy but the 2nd might not be. She is older and has a toddler.

Be a good husband and a good father, take the toddler and support your wife with staying home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I travelled a 2 hour flight with a seven week old and a young 3 year old, by myself.

I won't lie, parts were not bad but a lot of it was rough.

My newborn ended up with a staph infection shortly after the trip. The dry air on the plane caused excema, which got infected shortly after.

OP, leave the wife and infant at home for the safety of the infant.

Bring the toddler with you so your family can see her and so that your wife does not have to manage a 2 year old. A newborn and post partum on her own.

Her first birth was easy but the 2nd might not be. She is older and has a toddler.

Be a good husband and a good father, take the toddler and support your wife with staying home.

I know 23 is a lot of pages, but by not reading them, you have missed the main issue, which is that OP's parents have been awful to his wife in the past and he has sided with them, thinking their behavior is okay and his wife is just overly sensitive. If the health concerns that you cited were not enough to be getting on with, the real family dynamics here, not to mention the reality that a best man and groom's parents are not going to be watching an active toddler during a wedding, would be enough for OP's wife to justify staying home.