Men 45+ on OLD: are they all broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to marry a doctor or lawyer, huge student loans, terrible hours, unscrupulous ethics, cheaters, stress etc. Marry a smart tech or business person who is hard working and honest - that's where the good money and lifestyle are.

Tech and finance jobs don’t have the stability always.

I’m a finance person. I watched many guys make millions and also lose millions. When you get senior and laid off, it isn’t always easy to jump back in. Don’t know as much about tech. I do have friends whose husbands got laid off from google recently.

This. Job security in tech is nowhere near as good as it is in medicine.

Pp has something against doctors. Shrug. There probably isn’t any other profession with as much job security as medicine. Depending on the specialty, hours are pretty predictable. Sure, you could probably make up hours you don’t have to actually work or stay and say you had an emergency but you could do that in any profession.

My friends who have husbands who travel all the time are at much higher risk of cheating IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to marry a doctor or lawyer, huge student loans, terrible hours, unscrupulous ethics, cheaters, stress etc. Marry a smart tech or business person who is hard working and honest - that's where the good money and lifestyle are.

Helping people with their health while getting paid well. Sounds really unethical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to marry a doctor or lawyer, huge student loans, terrible hours, unscrupulous ethics, cheaters, stress etc. Marry a smart tech or business person who is hard working and honest - that's where the good money and lifestyle are.

Helping people with their health while getting paid well. Sounds really unethical.

You get what you pay for, idjit. If you want someone super smart and dedicated and willing to do 10 years of training to diagnose and cure your health problem, that person will want to be well paid. And they should be. Nothing unethical about that at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to marry a doctor or lawyer, huge student loans, terrible hours, unscrupulous ethics, cheaters, stress etc. Marry a smart tech or business person who is hard working and honest - that's where the good money and lifestyle are.

Helping people with their health while getting paid well. Sounds really unethical.

You get what you pay for, idjit. If you want someone super smart and dedicated and willing to do 10 years of training to diagnose and cure your health problem, that person will want to be well paid. And they should be. Nothing unethical about that at all.

I think the PP was being sarcastic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy men don’t need OLD to find a date. They are like a flame to moths.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to marry a doctor or lawyer, huge student loans, terrible hours, unscrupulous ethics, cheaters, stress etc. Marry a smart tech or business person who is hard working and honest - that's where the good money and lifestyle are.

Helping people with their health while getting paid well. Sounds really unethical.

You get what you pay for, idjit. If you want someone super smart and dedicated and willing to do 10 years of training to diagnose and cure your health problem, that person will want to be well paid. And they should be. Nothing unethical about that at all.

I think the PP was being sarcastic.

So hard to tell these days - I actually have heard people seriously say this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

You have no wealth to dissipate.

I nearly spat out (dissipated!) my coffee. Spot on.

What kind of gold digging losers are you guys dating when all you can think about is how much the women want you for your money?

It’s not the flex you think it is.

this thread is literally a woman talking about how she only wants men with money. Why do you refuse to see it when it is right in front of you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

So, you've met my ex dh : )

You're smart not to get into their financial quagmires. Getting OUT of his was the best thing for me. No, I didn't take him for everything in the divorce-we literally earn the same (same paygrade in our agency), we do 5050 no child support exchanged. He chose to buy me out of my equity in the house (and to be honest, he made out better considering the increase in it, but I'm happy to be free of it), we split accounts/retirement 5050. But he's 'broke'. Money is 'tight'. Yet, I am doing well (neither of us has remarried, I do not plan to).

I spent many years policing our finances due to him. It's him, he's the problem. It's probably the same for those guys on OLD. I sometimes wonder if his gf is aware of this...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

So, you've met my ex dh : )

You're smart not to get into their financial quagmires. Getting OUT of his was the best thing for me. No, I didn't take him for everything in the divorce-we literally earn the same (same paygrade in our agency), we do 5050 no child support exchanged. He chose to buy me out of my equity in the house (and to be honest, he made out better considering the increase in it, but I'm happy to be free of it), we split accounts/retirement 5050. But he's 'broke'. Money is 'tight'. Yet, I am doing well (neither of us has remarried, I do not plan to).

I spent many years policing our finances due to him. It's him, he's the problem. It's probably the same for those guys on OLD. I sometimes wonder if his gf is aware of this...

Doesn’t sound like he’s broke, sounds like he’s just spending his money stupidly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

So, you've met my ex dh : )

You're smart not to get into their financial quagmires. Getting OUT of his was the best thing for me. No, I didn't take him for everything in the divorce-we literally earn the same (same paygrade in our agency), we do 5050 no child support exchanged. He chose to buy me out of my equity in the house (and to be honest, he made out better considering the increase in it, but I'm happy to be free of it), we split accounts/retirement 5050. But he's 'broke'. Money is 'tight'. Yet, I am doing well (neither of us has remarried, I do not plan to).

I spent many years policing our finances due to him. It's him, he's the problem. It's probably the same for those guys on OLD. I sometimes wonder if his gf is aware of this...

Doesn’t sound like he’s broke, sounds like he’s just spending his money stupidly.

PP here-Yes! I've told him this for over 2 decades. But he knows it all...and I'm not there to fix stuff anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

So, you've met my ex dh : )

You're smart not to get into their financial quagmires. Getting OUT of his was the best thing for me. No, I didn't take him for everything in the divorce-we literally earn the same (same paygrade in our agency), we do 5050 no child support exchanged. He chose to buy me out of my equity in the house (and to be honest, he made out better considering the increase in it, but I'm happy to be free of it), we split accounts/retirement 5050. But he's 'broke'. Money is 'tight'. Yet, I am doing well (neither of us has remarried, I do not plan to).

I spent many years policing our finances due to him. It's him, he's the problem. It's probably the same for those guys on OLD. I sometimes wonder if his gf is aware of this...

So he has a house but no retirement?

In what ways was he a financial mess when you were married to him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

So, you've met my ex dh : )

You're smart not to get into their financial quagmires. Getting OUT of his was the best thing for me. No, I didn't take him for everything in the divorce-we literally earn the same (same paygrade in our agency), we do 5050 no child support exchanged. He chose to buy me out of my equity in the house (and to be honest, he made out better considering the increase in it, but I'm happy to be free of it), we split accounts/retirement 5050. But he's 'broke'. Money is 'tight'. Yet, I am doing well (neither of us has remarried, I do not plan to).

I spent many years policing our finances due to him. It's him, he's the problem. It's probably the same for those guys on OLD. I sometimes wonder if his gf is aware of this...

So he has a house but no retirement?

In what ways was he a financial mess when you were married to him?

He has retirement ('we split accounts/retirement 5050'). With divorce, he's now free to continue and expand his poor financial decisions, since I'm not there to police the finances any more. There were instances of financial infidelity. He wanted to 'spend his money his way' while I was free to pay all the bills and put off things I needed, like dental work.

So when I hear about middle-aged divorced men who are so poor and broke, I take it with a gigantic grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

I’ve got an impression that many men are actually earning well or have assets. But they are either cheap, or the opposite - waste money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve got an impression that many men are actually earning well or have assets. But they are either cheap, or the opposite - waste money

Or they keep it a secret because of a legitimate concern of gold diggers like the ones on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

You have no wealth to dissipate.

I nearly spat out (dissipated!) my coffee. Spot on.

What kind of gold digging losers are you guys dating when all you can think about is how much the women want you for your money?

It’s not the flex you think it is.

Right!?

This is DCUM. Everyone has 3M in liquid and 10M in the market.

Actually I have $4M in liquid and about $18M in the market and properties but I didn’t want to brag. And the women I date have no idea of my wealth. I don’t pay their way and they don’t pay mine though we do pay for each other’s dinners and other things from time to time. When we traveled to places like Mallorca, Corfu, Palawan, St Kitts, Antarctica, etc we each pay our way and split costs for any shared expenses (rooms, etc). Works well that way.

Yakis - a woman who may be making 200k/year paying for her dinners with you. It would be fair if you shared expenses pro-rats your wealth. Very few people would be comparable. It’s totally different from two mid 6-figures executives sharing expenses. You are cheap IMHO

You would never know. Too many gold diggers out there.

You can simply decline taking her to an expensive restaurant for the first date; offer a coffee/drinks. If you start seeing each other, see if she reciprocates at least gets tickets for movies/theaters. But keeping scores like you do is just sick, IMHO. Being extremely wealthy, you have your girlfriends subsidize your travel: you are a wealthy kept man/toy boy. And also bitter about women.

Not even close. We pay 50/50 for our travel so no gf subsidy. And they don’t have a clue about my wealth so no harm no foul. If I ever got the slightest hint they were a gold digger I would end the relationship.