Anyone facing jealous friends now that your kids are in private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ever since my kids were recently admitted to private schools, many friends in my W cluster have been making snippy comments about me sending my kids to private school. Has anyone else faced a similar situation?

No I don't think our friends think about us as much as you think yours think about you. How strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares where your kids go to school.

Oh yes, the public school parents most definitely do. I think it is both jealousy and insecurity on their part. What baffles me is why they feel it is okay to be snarky.

Private school parents don’t care, it’s the public school parents that want to debate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares where your kids go to school.

Oh yes, the public school parents most definitely do. I think it is both jealousy and insecurity on their part. What baffles me is why they feel it is okay to be snarky.

Private school parents don’t care, it’s the public school parents that want to debate you.

I'd also say there can be a philosophical divide that creates tension that isn't based in jealousy. My spouse's family has a long history of public school involvement and leadership. My spouse and spouse's sibling are both high earners with some generational wealth but neither considers private school and can be judgmental of those who do, seeing them as part of an elitist "problem." I'm fairly neutral (on my side we've had recent kids at Sidwell, GDS, and MD and VA publics schools) but have seen many people in this area with backgrounds and beliefs like my spouse's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares where your kids go to school.

Oh yes, the public school parents most definitely do. I think it is both jealousy and insecurity on their part. What baffles me is why they feel it is okay to be snarky.

Private school parents don’t care, it’s the public school parents that want to debate you.

We are in this situation right now and no one cares one way or the other.

[Anonymous]

I've encountered the opposite -- families that are jealous that we aren't paying for private for 2 kids. Public is an amazing deal. Some of our friends have to spring for private due to special needs, like dyslexia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've encountered the opposite -- families that are jealous that we aren't paying for private for 2 kids. Public is an amazing deal. Some of our friends have to spring for private due to special needs, like dyslexia.

I don't mean to be condescending but they are feigning jealousy. Also, I embellish my child's "issues" when talking to public school parents so they don't feel bad about not being able to afford private school. I'll say things like, "Wow, you are SO lucky that Little Larlo is so focused and can concentrate; my little Larly could NEVER do that!" I don't really mean any of it. Or I'll say, "I WISH I could put little Early in public but she just can't focus. It would save us so much money!" I don't mean any of it but I know it makes my public school friends feel better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ever since my kids were recently admitted to private schools, many friends in my W cluster have been making snippy comments about me sending my kids to private school. Has anyone else faced a similar situation?

No I don't think our friends think about us as much as you think yours think about you. How strange.

If I were you, I'd get better freinds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've encountered the opposite -- families that are jealous that we aren't paying for private for 2 kids. Public is an amazing deal. Some of our friends have to spring for private due to special needs, like dyslexia.

I don't mean to be condescending but they are feigning jealousy. Also, I embellish my child's "issues" when talking to public school parents so they don't feel bad about not being able to afford private school. I'll say things like, "Wow, you are SO lucky that Little Larlo is so focused and can concentrate; my little Larly could NEVER do that!" I don't really mean any of it. Or I'll say, "I WISH I could put little Early in public but she just can't focus. It would save us so much money!" I don't mean any of it but I know it makes my public school friends feel better.

We do the same!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've encountered the opposite -- families that are jealous that we aren't paying for private for 2 kids. Public is an amazing deal. Some of our friends have to spring for private due to special needs, like dyslexia.

I don't mean to be condescending but they are feigning jealousy. Also, I embellish my child's "issues" when talking to public school parents so they don't feel bad about not being able to afford private school. I'll say things like, "Wow, you are SO lucky that Little Larlo is so focused and can concentrate; my little Larly could NEVER do that!" I don't really mean any of it. Or I'll say, "I WISH I could put little Early in public but she just can't focus. It would save us so much money!" I don't mean any of it but I know it makes my public school friends feel better.

+1 I just want to end the conversation bc no good comes from it. Public school parents wants validation and for me to admit I am wasting money and she is smarter than me. Ok, sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've encountered the opposite -- families that are jealous that we aren't paying for private for 2 kids. Public is an amazing deal. Some of our friends have to spring for private due to special needs, like dyslexia.

I don't mean to be condescending but they are feigning jealousy. Also, I embellish my child's "issues" when talking to public school parents so they don't feel bad about not being able to afford private school. I'll say things like, "Wow, you are SO lucky that Little Larlo is so focused and can concentrate; my little Larly could NEVER do that!" I don't really mean any of it. Or I'll say, "I WISH I could put little Early in public but she just can't focus. It would save us so much money!" I don't mean any of it but I know it makes my public school friends feel better.

We do the same!!!

We do this too!! Literally EXACTLY as you put it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares where your kids go to school.

Oh yes, the public school parents most definitely do. I think it is both jealousy and insecurity on their part. What baffles me is why they feel it is okay to be snarky.

Private school parents don’t care, it’s the public school parents that want to debate you.

I'd also say there can be a philosophical divide that creates tension that isn't based in jealousy. My spouse's family has a long history of public school involvement and leadership. My spouse and spouse's sibling are both high earners with some generational wealth but neither considers private school and can be judgmental of those who do, seeing them as part of an elitist "problem." I'm fairly neutral (on my side we've had recent kids at Sidwell, GDS, and MD and VA publics schools) but have seen many people in this area with backgrounds and beliefs like my spouse's.

I don't want to totally dismiss jealousy, sure for some maybe that's the case, but for others I think the above is true as well as those who feel like their personal choices are in question when someone they know chooses something different for themselves (I've got a friend like this, dear woman, but she's so insecure that whenever anyone makes a different decision than she's made she's triggered).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares where your kids go to school.

Oh yes, the public school parents most definitely do. I think it is both jealousy and insecurity on their part. What baffles me is why they feel it is okay to be snarky.

Private school parents don’t care, it’s the public school parents that want to debate you.

The volume of private school parents posting defensively on this and similar threads over the years suggests otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've encountered the opposite -- families that are jealous that we aren't paying for private for 2 kids. Public is an amazing deal. Some of our friends have to spring for private due to special needs, like dyslexia.

I don't mean to be condescending but they are feigning jealousy. Also, I embellish my child's "issues" when talking to public school parents so they don't feel bad about not being able to afford private school. I'll say things like, "Wow, you are SO lucky that Little Larlo is so focused and can concentrate; my little Larly could NEVER do that!" I don't really mean any of it. Or I'll say, "I WISH I could put little Early in public but she just can't focus. It would save us so much money!" I don't mean any of it but I know it makes my public school friends feel better.

We do the same!!!

That's a really strange way to handle conversations no matter what one thinks of private, public, charter, homeschool, whatever. Very odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've encountered the opposite -- families that are jealous that we aren't paying for private for 2 kids. Public is an amazing deal. Some of our friends have to spring for private due to special needs, like dyslexia.

I don't mean to be condescending but they are feigning jealousy. Also, I embellish my child's "issues" when talking to public school parents so they don't feel bad about not being able to afford private school. I'll say things like, "Wow, you are SO lucky that Little Larlo is so focused and can concentrate; my little Larly could NEVER do that!" I don't really mean any of it. Or I'll say, "I WISH I could put little Early in public but she just can't focus. It would save us so much money!" I don't mean any of it but I know it makes my public school friends feel better.

We do the same!!!

That's a really strange way to handle conversations no matter what one thinks of private, public, charter, homeschool, whatever. Very odd.

No, it’s not. It just helps us move the conversation along. Most private schools have better resources than public so everything, generally, is just . . . better. So to sit there and try and compare my experience and a public school parent’s experience will make it glaringly obvious that my kid is having a superior education experience. Note - I did not necessarily say better education - as that may be debatable. However the facilities, attention, trips, etc. are largely better than public.

It’s kind of like if we were to all fly to Hawaii and I flew first class but you flew coach. Sure, we would all get to our destination but my experience would be easier, more luxurious and more enjoyable. I wouldn’t get off of the plane and then ask you how your flight was. I already know, so let’s move on to another subject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've encountered the opposite -- families that are jealous that we aren't paying for private for 2 kids. Public is an amazing deal. Some of our friends have to spring for private due to special needs, like dyslexia.

I don't mean to be condescending but they are feigning jealousy. Also, I embellish my child's "issues" when talking to public school parents so they don't feel bad about not being able to afford private school. I'll say things like, "Wow, you are SO lucky that Little Larlo is so focused and can concentrate; my little Larly could NEVER do that!" I don't really mean any of it. Or I'll say, "I WISH I could put little Early in public but she just can't focus. It would save us so much money!" I don't mean any of it but I know it makes my public school friends feel better.

We do the same!!!

That's a really strange way to handle conversations no matter what one thinks of private, public, charter, homeschool, whatever. Very odd.

No, it’s not. It just helps us move the conversation along. Most private schools have better resources than public so everything, generally, is just . . . better. So to sit there and try and compare my experience and a public school parent’s experience will make it glaringly obvious that my kid is having a superior education experience. Note - I did not necessarily say better education - as that may be debatable. However the facilities, attention, trips, etc. are largely better than public.

It’s kind of like if we were to all fly to Hawaii and I flew first class but you flew coach. Sure, we would all get to our destination but my experience would be easier, more luxurious and more enjoyable. I wouldn’t get off of the plane and then ask you how your flight was. I already know, so let’s move on to another subject.

Very well put.