Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised by two full-time working parents. Mom put in 40 hrs/week M-F and spent 2.5 years working all day Saturdays while she wrote a book and we had movie day with Dad. I'm a 4th generation working mom and I LOVED my childhood. If you're assuming your kids will spend all of the after school hours missing you, you probably didn't have a working mom, right? Or you didn't have many friends as a child? Those of us who actually grew up as the children of these kinds of mothers know how wonderful a family life can be with two working parents. I choose to work because I know it's best, not just for our bank account, but for my child. If you doubt that, then go for a different decision. That's fine and I'm sure that can work out great too. But you're making a straw man argument - the notion that daycare harms kids was debunked in the 80s. If you want to keep arguing it, feel free but there's no evidence to back you up.

And I was raised by two working parents as well. Spent my summers and after schools in daycare- and I wanted nothing more than to spend my summers running around the neighborhood with the rest of my friends, playing in the woods alone with no adults in sight, biking, etc. or just come home and have freshly made cookies by mom, time to veg out alone, etc. The type of childhood people always dream of. Sure, I had fun at camps and no I was not permanently damaged, but I really longed for that classic, carefree childhood.

Yeah, I know kids who had that "classic, carefree childhood." They were bored shitless, and so was their mom. Sorry your dad sucked so hard that you didn't want him around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok ladies. I'm sure that OP has left the building. She came, she trolled, and she left. It's such a nice day outside...please move along.

Wow. I posted this in the early afternoon and then left work, played 9 holes, went to happy hour, came home for dinner with DS and DW, played w/DS, put him to sleep, then fired up the laptop to see what's going on in DCUM-land. I see that you ladies are still trying to claw each other's eyes out. One zinger after another. Some of you haven't stopped thinking about this thread all day. What a waste of a great August day. Cmon girls, get your acts together. IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. Kindergarden lasts for 1 year. After that, kids are usually in afterschool activities. Why are you getting so worked up about this topic?

Congrats! The most self-congratulatory post ever!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea, I work because I like having disposable income and lots of it. My husband makes 180k/yr and I make 200K and I'm not trying to forgo 200K/yr to SAH. If my earning potential had been sub 100K, no way in hell would I have returned to work.

Yes, I like having a beautiful home, a personal trainer, nice vacations, shopping at the farmers market, weekly date night, new clothes when I want, 2xs a week house cleaners.

I'm unashamed and completely confident in my choice and feel no need to justify it. I'm not going to pretend I'm a poor single mom just trying to make the ends meet. My children are now older and we have an AuPair because we need a driver to get them to all of their sports after school. Aftercare has been replaced with travel hockey and travel soccer.

Hence your need to justify it here.

Nope, no justification contained in my above statement. No excuse or altruistic reason working. I like working and I like having disposable income. It is not to "feed or clothe or house my family" I do not live in a small apartment. We could easily live on one income, we just don't want to. I don't need to justify it because there is nothing to justify. It is the same reason I do not justify why I drive an SUV. I drive one because I like it and I want to drive one, not because I need a utility vehicle. I don't even need the extra space. I simply saw it, I liked it, and I bought it.

Honey, you just don't get it.

Ten sentences, each and every one defending yourself.

It's OK. Really. You love money and the easy life.

It's much more dignified to just own it.

Of course, you're shallow and superficial, but so is most of humanity.

Oh the drama "most of humanity", that is Oscar worthy. I'm not defending myself, there is nothing I need to defend. I really don't care what names you want to call me. If you want to go to trial over 10 sentences, be my guest. I'm not losing sleep over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea, I work because I like having disposable income and lots of it. My husband makes 180k/yr and I make 200K and I'm not trying to forgo 200K/yr to SAH. If my earning potential had been sub 100K, no way in hell would I have returned to work.

Yes, I like having a beautiful home, a personal trainer, nice vacations, shopping at the farmers market, weekly date night, new clothes when I want, 2xs a week house cleaners.

I'm unashamed and completely confident in my choice and feel no need to justify it. I'm not going to pretend I'm a poor single mom just trying to make the ends meet. My children are now older and we have an AuPair because we need a driver to get them to all of their sports after school. Aftercare has been replaced with travel hockey and travel soccer.

Hence your need to justify it here.

Nope, no justification contained in my above statement. No excuse or altruistic reason working. I like working and I like having disposable income. It is not to "feed or clothe or house my family" I do not live in a small apartment. We could easily live on one income, we just don't want to. I don't need to justify it because there is nothing to justify. It is the same reason I do not justify why I drive an SUV. I drive one because I like it and I want to drive one, not because I need a utility vehicle. I don't even need the extra space. I simply saw it, I liked it, and I bought it.

And this attitude, people, is why I cannot wait to leave DC.

bye-bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea, I work because I like having disposable income and lots of it. My husband makes 180k/yr and I make 200K and I'm not trying to forgo 200K/yr to SAH. If my earning potential had been sub 100K, no way in hell would I have returned to work.

Yes, I like having a beautiful home, a personal trainer, nice vacations, shopping at the farmers market, weekly date night, new clothes when I want, 2xs a week house cleaners.

I'm unashamed and completely confident in my choice and feel no need to justify it. I'm not going to pretend I'm a poor single mom just trying to make the ends meet. My children are now older and we have an AuPair because we need a driver to get them to all of their sports after school. Aftercare has been replaced with travel hockey and travel soccer.

Hence your need to justify it here.

Nope, no justification contained in my above statement. No excuse or altruistic reason working. I like working and I like having disposable income. It is not to "feed or clothe or house my family" I do not live in a small apartment. We could easily live on one income, we just don't want to. I don't need to justify it because there is nothing to justify. It is the same reason I do not justify why I drive an SUV. I drive one because I like it and I want to drive one, not because I need a utility vehicle. I don't even need the extra space. I simply saw it, I liked it, and I bought it.

Honey, you just don't get it.

Ten sentences, each and every one defending yourself.

It's OK. Really. You love money and the easy life.

It's much more dignified to just own it.

Of course, you're shallow and superficial, but so is most of humanity.

Oh the drama "most of humanity", that is Oscar worthy. I'm not defending myself, there is nothing I need to defend. I really don't care what names you want to call me. If you want to go to trial over 10 sentences, be my guest. I'm not losing sleep over it.

Yup, but nice try sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am going to chime in here. My neighbour, lives in a 1.5 million dollar home, not in DC.

She has a nanny, three kids under six and leaves them with the nanny all day. Then she comes home and instead of being with her kids, SHE GOES JOGGING. Yes, I will admit I think that's pretty shitty.

Also, when the older one attends school. The nanny has to drag all the kids along. THE MOM IS HOME getting ready for work. She does this when its RAINING. Can't the mom just drop the kid off at school when it rains, she is home.

Even my kids commented when they saw her jogging. They feel bad for those kids.

You sound judgmental and awful. And what about the dad in this family?

He works longer hours. He doesn't jog.iPlus, I don't see his car siting in the driveway while three kids are shleped to school in the rain by the nanny.

He works longer hours? How materialistic! If he got a job with shorter hours, and scaled down on his mansion, he could be at home with his kids! How cruel of him.

Oh, wait, sorry -- I forgot. It's only the mom who isn't allowed to enjoy life outside of her kids.

PP here. Yes he could scale back his hours too. I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea, I work because I like having disposable income and lots of it. My husband makes 180k/yr and I make 200K and I'm not trying to forgo 200K/yr to SAH. If my earning potential had been sub 100K, no way in hell would I have returned to work.

Yes, I like having a beautiful home, a personal trainer, nice vacations, shopping at the farmers market, weekly date night, new clothes when I want, 2xs a week house cleaners.

I'm unashamed and completely confident in my choice and feel no need to justify it. I'm not going to pretend I'm a poor single mom just trying to make the ends meet. My children are now older and we have an AuPair because we need a driver to get them to all of their sports after school. Aftercare has been replaced with travel hockey and travel soccer.

Hence your need to justify it here.

Nope, no justification contained in my above statement. No excuse or altruistic reason working. I like working and I like having disposable income. It is not to "feed or clothe or house my family" I do not live in a small apartment. We could easily live on one income, we just don't want to. I don't need to justify it because there is nothing to justify. It is the same reason I do not justify why I drive an SUV. I drive one because I like it and I want to drive one, not because I need a utility vehicle. I don't even need the extra space. I simply saw it, I liked it, and I bought it.

Honey, you just don't get it.

Ten sentences, each and every one defending yourself.

It's OK. Really. You love money and the easy life.

It's much more dignified to just own it.

Of course, you're shallow and superficial, but so is most of humanity.

Oh the drama "most of humanity", that is Oscar worthy. I'm not defending myself, there is nothing I need to defend. I really don't care what names you want to call me. If you want to go to trial over 10 sentences, be my guest. I'm not losing sleep over it.

Yup, but nice try sweetie.

Weak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been covered before. Some folks have to work full time and don't really have a choice. .

Sure they do. Downsize, downsize, downsize. You don't need to live in a 3,000 sq ft place, hire help for cleaning and yardwork, wear the best clothes, have an iPhone5, drive an SUV with only one or two kids, use coupons and shop the specials. Cook more, go out to eat once a month or less.

It can easily be done, even in this area. But people here are too set on keeping up their extravagant lifestyles.

Priorities.

If I didn't work, we would be on welfare. Not everyone has a sugar daddy DH to prop them up.

[Anonymous]

My husband came to this country when Saigon fell as a refugee. He was a latch key kid of a single mom from the time he was six years old. His neighborhood was so dangerous that his mom instructed him to come home from school, lock the door and not leave. She worked full time and went to school at night first to learn English and then to get a college and masters degree. He wasn't allowed to use the stove, so he ate free school lunch and cold cereal for dinner, did his homework and watched hours and hours of tv until bed time. There were days all he saw of his mom was an exhausted heap under the blankets of her bed.

He views the daycare and extended day programs our kids have gone to as a wonderful privilege for our kids.

We are all incredibly lucky, and "the kid are alright."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am going to chime in here. My neighbour, lives in a 1.5 million dollar home, not in DC.

She has a nanny, three kids under six and leaves them with the nanny all day. Then she comes home and instead of being with her kids, SHE GOES JOGGING. Yes, I will admit I think that's pretty shitty.

Also, when the older one attends school. The nanny has to drag all the kids along. THE MOM IS HOME getting ready for work. She does this when its RAINING. Can't the mom just drop the kid off at school when it rains, she is home.

Even my kids commented when they saw her jogging. They feel bad for those kids.

You sound judgmental and awful. And what about the dad in this family?

He works longer hours. He doesn't jog.iPlus, I don't see his car siting in the driveway while three kids are shleped to school in the rain by the nanny.

He works longer hours? How materialistic! If he got a job with shorter hours, and scaled down on his mansion, he could be at home with his kids! How cruel of him.

Oh, wait, sorry -- I forgot. It's only the mom who isn't allowed to enjoy life outside of her kids.

PP here. Yes he could scale back his hours too. I agree.

Really? You "agree?" No long post with CAPS for EMPHASIS about how neglectful and shitty he is?

[Anonymous]

It is not my place to judge other people when I have no idea what their life circumstances are. Plus, I am sure there are many benefits to aftercare such as more time to socialize with friends. If mom is doing this so she has more time shop and hang with friends, then I judge.

[Anonymous]

My mom is a physician and always worked while I was in daycare and with nannies after school. I honestly do not remember ever thinking that it was weird or that I was missing out on something. We had great vacations and weekends together. We have an awesome relationship. I work ft and my kids are in daycare. I dedicate evenings and weekends to them. They have scheduled activities and play dates outside of daycare. On the weekends it's always a puppet show or to the circus, a hike, pool or something else. Sometimes I think that I over schedule them. My boys can both read and write at 4. We do reading, math and dictation after daycare every night. They are in daycare from 8 to 5, and they love it. I also made great friends with other moms at our daycare. My boys are receiving a great experience, and are not missing anything by me not being home full time.

[Anonymous]

It's not ideal to have children outsourced for that many hours, but it happens. Be a good friend and invite those kids over to play now and again.

[Anonymous]

I like working and I love my kids, so I do both. Do all the wohm haters, do you have a female obgyn? Did you see a male lactation consultant? Are the elementary teachers all male at your child's school? Stop and think what your world would be like if only men held paid employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like working and I love my kids, so I do both. Do all the wohm haters, do you have a female obgyn? Did you see a male lactation consultant? Are the elementary teachers all male at your child's school? Stop and think what your world would be like if only men held paid employment.

Right? So many amazing working moms I have encountered in my life. For starters, my son's reading specialist at school she has two kids the same age as mine. Haha, and YES ALL of the OBGYNs in the practice I go to are all women and all mothers. The woman who has been cleaning my house for 12 years has 4 children.

Look at what Christiane Amanpour has done in her career. She risked her life in her job and has done extensive traveling being chief international correspondent for CNN...all through pregnancy, birth, and her son's young years.