Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners

[Anonymous]

I LOVED aftercare all through school. Lots of fun time to hang out with friends.

But, nice troll fail. The mommy wars are so tired.

[Anonymous]

Poor trolling-what elementary school is out at 2:30?

I SAHM and my dc play with kids in SACC on the playground after school. They always complain bitterly when we have to leave and their friends get to stay and play. I haven't seen any depressed-looking SACC kids; they all look like they are having a great time to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been covered before. Some folks have to work full time and don't really have a choice. .

Sure they do. Downsize, downsize, downsize. You don't need to live in a 3,000 sq ft place, hire help for cleaning and yardwork, wear the best clothes, have an iPhone5, drive an SUV with only one or two kids, use coupons and shop the specials. Cook more, go out to eat once a month or less.

It can easily be done, even in this area. But people here are too set on keeping up their extravagant lifestyles.

Priorities.

Okay, troll. Fine.

My apartment is about 750 square feet. It has one bedroom and a tiny den that is my 4yo DD's bedroom. Her room doesn't have any windows and isn't big enough for a fullsized bed, so she'll be in a toddler sized bed until I can afford to move. I do my own cleaning and don't have a yard. The last time I went shopping was about 2 years ago, when I finally lost the last of the baby weight - that shopping trip happened at Target. I don't have an iPhone at all, much less the latest version, and I don't have a car. We go out to eat once a week, but there are only two of us, so the bill is never more than about $30. I cook everything else at home, including lunch for myself and DD.

But the thing is, I'm a single parent with little support from my daughter's dad. If I only work from 8am until 3pm, given that I'm an hourly employee, I will only bring home 80% of my full time salary, which won't be enough to cover our living expenses, even if you eliminate those extravagant $30 dinners on Friday nights. I suppose I could move further out of the city, but given that my job is downtown, any increase in commute will increase the amount of time my DD spends in aftercare.

I'm really curious as to what you'd expect someone like me to to do to avoid the aftercare programs you think are so "cruel". I'm already doing everything I can.

[Anonymous]

So OP, what you're saying is that you depend on your husband for money so you can watch your kids all the time instead of "out-sourcing" their care?

What if he didn't make enough money for you to do this? Would you not have married him? What if he gets laid off? What if he quits his job and doesn't find another? Would you find work? What if the pressure of being the sole breadwinner stressed him to the point of killing him? What would you do then? What if he got tired of your judgmental ass and divorced you? What would you do then? At some point in your life, you may have to do things you are currently judging, and you had better hope that people don't judge you like you judge them.

Some folks are working to support their families, not to afford a huge house or new cars every two years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been covered before. Some folks have to work full time and don't really have a choice. .

Sure they do. Downsize, downsize, downsize. You don't need to live in a 3,000 sq ft place, hire help for cleaning and yardwork, wear the best clothes, have an iPhone5, drive an SUV with only one or two kids, use coupons and shop the specials. Cook more, go out to eat once a month or less.

It can easily be done, even in this area. But people here are too set on keeping up their extravagant lifestyles.

Priorities.

Ah, yeah. I do all of these things and yet my husband and I still have to work. We live in less than 2000 square feet in the burbs with so so schools and drive our cars into the ground. We never go out. I guess we are just epic fails in your book and cleearly still don't have the right priorties. Smh.

Oh my gawd, less than 2000 ft sq? J/k. Not sure how you really live but you might want to try the city. We live in a 700 sq ft apartment and own no cars. I can stay at home because of that.

[Anonymous]

Well maybe I won't win mom of the year for this but my kid is happier on the days she goes to daycare and she sleeps better too. I'm pretty sure I would suck at staying at home - I would go mad and DD would be bored and unstimulated. For me, it's not about economics. It's about what works for the personalities in my family. I could afford to stay home. I choose not to.

[Anonymous]

Some people don't have a choice. They work low-income jobs and have to work long hours to feed and clothe their children.

Many others are simply focused far more on their careers than their family and as long as their kids are somewhere safe, they are happy to work long hours. Spending time with their kid sis not a priority. Making money and climbing the corporate ladder is what gives them meaning and purpose and is therefore what they devote their time and energy too.

Still others just want more. Bigger houses, fancier cars, bigger savings accounts, more toys, more luxury vacations etc.

The reality is that kids can grow up fine from all types of families. I have friends who had career driven parents and barely ever saw them but they still had lots of other adult role models in their lives and they were fine. I have friends from very neglectful abusive homes who have grown up fine. I have friends whose parents were completely detached and uninvolved in their lives and they grew up fine. That is what therapy is for!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been covered before. Some folks have to work full time and don't really have a choice. .

Sure they do. Downsize, downsize, downsize. You don't need to live in a 3,000 sq ft place, hire help for cleaning and yardwork, wear the best clothes, have an iPhone5, drive an SUV with only one or two kids, use coupons and shop the specials. Cook more, go out to eat once a month or less.

It can easily be done, even in this area. But people here are too set on keeping up their extravagant lifestyles.

Priorities.

Okay, troll. Fine.

My apartment is about 750 square feet. It has one bedroom and a tiny den that is my 4yo DD's bedroom. Her room doesn't have any windows and isn't big enough for a fullsized bed, so she'll be in a toddler sized bed until I can afford to move. I do my own cleaning and don't have a yard. The last time I went shopping was about 2 years ago, when I finally lost the last of the baby weight - that shopping trip happened at Target. I don't have an iPhone at all, much less the latest version, and I don't have a car. We go out to eat once a week, but there are only two of us, so the bill is never more than about $30. I cook everything else at home, including lunch for myself and DD.

But the thing is, I'm a single parent with little support from my daughter's dad. If I only work from 8am until 3pm, given that I'm an hourly employee, I will only bring home 80% of my full time salary, which won't be enough to cover our living expenses, even if you eliminate those extravagant $30 dinners on Friday nights. I suppose I could move further out of the city, but given that my job is downtown, any increase in commute will increase the amount of time my DD spends in aftercare.

I'm really curious as to what you'd expect someone like me to to do to avoid the aftercare programs you think are so "cruel". I'm already doing everything I can.

PP, don't let this silly OP make you doubt yourself or your choices. You don't owe an explanation to anyone about anything, least of all how you're raising your child and spending your money. Get off of DCUM for now and think of all the great things you are able to provide for your child -- OP and her trollish kind are not concerned about your details, they only want to see you get angry. Don't give them that privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been covered before. Some folks have to work full time and don't really have a choice. .

Sure they do. Downsize, downsize, downsize. You don't need to live in a 3,000 sq ft place, hire help for cleaning and yardwork, wear the best clothes, have an iPhone5, drive an SUV with only one or two kids, use coupons and shop the specials. Cook more, go out to eat once a month or less.

It can easily be done, even in this area. But people here are too set on keeping up their extravagant lifestyles.

Priorities.

Okay, troll. Fine.

My apartment is about 750 square feet. It has one bedroom and a tiny den that is my 4yo DD's bedroom. Her room doesn't have any windows and isn't big enough for a fullsized bed, so she'll be in a toddler sized bed until I can afford to move. I do my own cleaning and don't have a yard. The last time I went shopping was about 2 years ago, when I finally lost the last of the baby weight - that shopping trip happened at Target. I don't have an iPhone at all, much less the latest version, and I don't have a car. We go out to eat once a week, but there are only two of us, so the bill is never more than about $30. I cook everything else at home, including lunch for myself and DD.

But the thing is, I'm a single parent with little support from my daughter's dad. If I only work from 8am until 3pm, given that I'm an hourly employee, I will only bring home 80% of my full time salary, which won't be enough to cover our living expenses, even if you eliminate those extravagant $30 dinners on Friday nights. I suppose I could move further out of the city, but given that my job is downtown, any increase in commute will increase the amount of time my DD spends in aftercare.

I'm really curious as to what you'd expect someone like me to to do to avoid the aftercare programs you think are so "cruel". I'm already doing everything I can.

PP, don't let this silly OP make you doubt yourself or your choices. You don't owe an explanation to anyone about anything, least of all how you're raising your child and spending your money. Get off of DCUM for now and think of all the great things you are able to provide for your child -- OP and her trollish kind are not concerned about your details, they only want to see you get angry. Don't give them that privilege.

Thanks! I actually think we're doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

Clearly OP is insecure about her choice to stay home

I'll bet that she quit work years ago, and now bored silly staying home. Then the kids came home and asked if they could go to after care because all their friends are there and the playgrounds are filled only with babies an preschoolers (and we all know this is true, I go there often with my 5 year old at 4 pm)

And of course because she quit and downsized, well there isn't any money to pay for aftercare... Ain't that the rub

God forbid your husband gets furloughed or lad off from Biglaw or decides he wants a partner not a trollish housekeeper for a wife.

[Anonymous]

OP, assuming you're correct and your elementary school gets out at 2.30, do you think jobs that allow a parent to end work at 2.15pm or earlier (to allow for a commute) are really plentiful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been covered before. Some folks have to work full time and don't really have a choice. .

Sure they do. Downsize, downsize, downsize. You don't need to live in a 3,000 sq ft place, hire help for cleaning and yardwork, wear the best clothes, have an iPhone5, drive an SUV with only one or two kids, use coupons and shop the specials. Cook more, go out to eat once a month or less.

It can easily be done, even in this area. But people here are too set on keeping up their extravagant lifestyles.

Priorities.

Ah, yeah. I do all of these things and yet my husband and I still have to work. We live in less than 2000 square feet in the burbs with so so schools and drive our cars into the ground. We never go out. I guess we are just epic fails in your book and cleearly still don't have the right priorties. Smh.

Oh my gawd, less than 2000 ft sq? J/k. Not sure how you really live but you might want to try the city. We live in a 700 sq ft apartment and own no cars. I can stay at home because of that.

Not every woman wants to stay at home, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been covered before. Some folks have to work full time and don't really have a choice. .

Sure they do. Downsize, downsize, downsize. You don't need to live in a 3,000 sq ft place, hire help for cleaning and yardwork, wear the best clothes, have an iPhone5, drive an SUV with only one or two kids, use coupons and shop the specials. Cook more, go out to eat once a month or less.

It can easily be done, even in this area. But people here are too set on keeping up their extravagant lifestyles.

Priorities.

Okay, troll. Fine.

My apartment is about 750 square feet. It has one bedroom and a tiny den that is my 4yo DD's bedroom. Her room doesn't have any windows and isn't big enough for a fullsized bed, so she'll be in a toddler sized bed until I can afford to move. I do my own cleaning and don't have a yard. The last time I went shopping was about 2 years ago, when I finally lost the last of the baby weight - that shopping trip happened at Target. I don't have an iPhone at all, much less the latest version, and I don't have a car. We go out to eat once a week, but there are only two of us, so the bill is never more than about $30. I cook everything else at home, including lunch for myself and DD.

But the thing is, I'm a single parent with little support from my daughter's dad. If I only work from 8am until 3pm, given that I'm an hourly employee, I will only bring home 80% of my full time salary, which won't be enough to cover our living expenses, even if you eliminate those extravagant $30 dinners on Friday nights. I suppose I could move further out of the city, but given that my job is downtown, any increase in commute will increase the amount of time my DD spends in aftercare.

I'm really curious as to what you'd expect someone like me to to do to avoid the aftercare programs you think are so "cruel". I'm already doing everything I can.

PP, don't let this silly OP make you doubt yourself or your choices. You don't owe an explanation to anyone about anything, least of all how you're raising your child and spending your money. Get off of DCUM for now and think of all the great things you are able to provide for your child -- OP and her trollish kind are not concerned about your details, they only want to see you get angry. Don't give them that privilege.

Thanks! I actually think we're doing just fine.

Is your daughter loved? Happy? Are her medical needs and emotional needs met? If "yes," you are doing great and you should mentally middle-finger anyone who throws you a crap look or word.

Children want to know they are loved and appreciated and understood. Period. How we do this is second to DOING THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, assuming you're correct and your elementary school gets out at 2.30, do you think jobs that allow a parent to end work at 2.15pm or earlier (to allow for a commute) are really plentiful?

Jobs that require you to live under the bridge and jump out when goats cross over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three friends whose children are starting kindergarten with my daughter. They will be dropping them off at 7:45 am, and not picking them up until 6 pm!! These poor kids are going to be in aftercare from 2:30 on. Why on earth would you do this to a five year old??

I don't get how they are comfortable only seeing their children about 2-3 hours a day. It would break my heart.

What do others think?

That your fake concern shows what a colossal cuntasaurus you truly are.