If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?

[Anonymous]

This is the thing: I could not have bio kids, and my parents didn't consider adopted kids "real grandchildren." It's insane.

[Anonymous]

Why is having grandchildren so important to some people? I mean, you had your own kid - why isn’t that enough. Having little children around is lovely, and of course it means more people to love. But the tone of this thread is less “I want to share my love with more people” and more “I’m so important my genes need to continue on earth.” It’s super weird.

I have one child and he has said he doesn’t want kids. I’m ok with that because we have a good relationship and I’m happy spending time with him. He doesn’t have an obligation to me to create more people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is having grandchildren so important to some people? I mean, you had your own kid - why isn’t that enough. Having little children around is lovely, and of course it means more people to love. But the tone of this thread is less “I want to share my love with more people” and more “I’m so important my genes need to continue on earth.” It’s super weird.

I have one child and he has said he doesn’t want kids. I’m ok with that because we have a good relationship and I’m happy spending time with him. He doesn’t have an obligation to me to create more people.

It is the continued family life and the relationship you now have with your child and their children. It's the continued connection, family events, children's activities, the love as a family.

Or you can just go play pickleball on Tuesdays, because your kids will just be in their own universe with no bridge to keep that connection. Sure, they love you but they are in the prime of their careers and that is their focus, not a family which would have included you. And let me say- that is a very weird and sad thing when it doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Grandchildren are great but for me they were never "the point" of having my own kids. I love my two adult kids more than anybody else in the world, including my grandchildren. I love them too but not quite as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is having grandchildren so important to some people? I mean, you had your own kid - why isn’t that enough. Having little children around is lovely, and of course it means more people to love. But the tone of this thread is less “I want to share my love with more people” and more “I’m so important my genes need to continue on earth.” It’s super weird.

I have one child and he has said he doesn’t want kids. I’m ok with that because we have a good relationship and I’m happy spending time with him. He doesn’t have an obligation to me to create more people.

He might change his mind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have three adult kids and they don’t want kids it might be that they had an unhappy childhood. Yes, the world is getting uglier and less attractive for raising children but most kids who grew up in a happy home want to have kids.

+1 very true in my experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Child free adults often lack this sort of self awareness IMO because they have not yet experienced one of the major seasons in life, which is to have a child. If you skip that entire season, your life is stunted. I didn’t get it either until I had kids so I’m sure you will respond with a giant eye roll, but, sorry.

Bless your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is having grandchildren so important to some people? I mean, you had your own kid - why isn’t that enough. Having little children around is lovely, and of course it means more people to love. But the tone of this thread is less “I want to share my love with more people” and more “I’m so important my genes need to continue on earth.” It’s super weird.

I have one child and he has said he doesn’t want kids. I’m ok with that because we have a good relationship and I’m happy spending time with him. He doesn’t have an obligation to me to create more people.

It is the continued family life and the relationship you now have with your child and their children. It's the continued connection, family events, children's activities, the love as a family.

Or you can just go play pickleball on Tuesdays, because your kids will just be in their own universe with no bridge to keep that connection. Sure, they love you but they are in the prime of their careers and that is their focus, not a family which would have included you. And let me say- that is a very weird and sad thing when it doesn't happen.

Yep, I'd be really sad to miss that connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feeling really bad for my gay brother right now. But he doesn't read DCUM so I guess it's fine.

Gay people have kids all the time, you know. My close friend is gay, married, and has two kids: one biological child each for him and his husband, same mom/carrier. They have big careers too and an amazing, happy life.

Great, he exploited a woman, sorry, carrier to fulfill his biological needs.

[Anonymous]

I can't wait to see the countless childfree seniors stewing in their diapers because there's a shortage of workers (already a problem). Some of you have bought the Henny-Penny rhetoric and self select yourself into a child free state just like they want you to. I can't count the number of times people claim they don't want to have kids because of the pending doom and gloom of climate change. Nonsense. You are being conned into self-imposed sterility. Don't believe the hype.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't wait to see the countless childfree seniors stewing in their diapers because there's a shortage of workers (already a problem). Some of you have bought the Henny-Penny rhetoric and self select yourself into a child free state just like they want you to. I can't count the number of times people claim they don't want to have kids because of the pending doom and gloom of climate change. Nonsense. You are being conned into self-imposed sterility. Don't believe the hype.

Plenty of seniors with kids stew in their diapers too.
And judging by the nastiness of some of the parents here, I wouldn't expect your children to be there for you.

[Anonymous]

DH and I born in the early 60s, so Boomers-R-Us. Happily child-free after terminating an unintended pregnancy in our 20s. We are govt workers and have a ton of money saved/invested. Our home in Arlington is paid off, as is our vacation/retirement home on the Bay. No need to have kids to support us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I born in the early 60s, so Boomers-R-Us. Happily child-free after terminating an unintended pregnancy in our 20s. We are govt workers and have a ton of money saved/invested. Our home in Arlington is paid off, as is our vacation/retirement home on the Bay. No need to have kids to support us.

But you missed out on the roller coaster of life. Wheeee!!! Whoooaaaa!!! Wheeee!!!

And the unrivaled sweet moments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This medieval thread is fascinating. I had no idea that people saw having kids as a quid pro quo, a means to a grandchild end? I’m a parent and I just can’t imagine thinking that way, haven’t we all learned at this point that forcing children/other people into lives they don’t want is just a recipe for misery? I want my kids to be happy in their lives and healthy and fulfilled. I know they may not take the routes I would prefer.

Without being glib, this is such a boomer mentality- all about them, all the time. (I am Gen X- whatever happens happens, and I’ll adjust!)

If there’s one thing I can’t stand… it’s the Earth. Borrrrriiiiiiing. Why populate it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I born in the early 60s, so Boomers-R-Us. Happily child-free after terminating an unintended pregnancy in our 20s. We are govt workers and have a ton of money saved/invested. Our home in Arlington is paid off, as is our vacation/retirement home on the Bay. No need to have kids to support us.

But you missed out on the roller coaster of life. Wheeee!!! Whoooaaaa!!! Wheeee!!!

And the unrivaled sweet moments.

when do the unrivaled sweet moments come?