Skinny is the new moral/hard working and all other kind of superiority?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Newsflash, because you did not put ice cream in your mouth today doesn't make you morally superior to a person that did have ice cream today.
If you think it does, you are the person I am talking about. Prig that thinks eating a certain way and looking a certain way makes you better than those that are a bit heavier.

So then what does it make you if you chose to continue to do things bad for your body when you are already at an unhealthy weight? I wouldn’t say it is a moral issue. But it is an issue..

Do we really need to put a label on it? Why simple fact of eating scoop of ice cream should be judged and called an issue.

DP - If you want to eat ice cream knowing its unhealthy, then just do it and own it. Why do you care what other people think? You like the ice cream and want to eat it and apparently don't care about the consequences, but you're worried someone else is giving you the time of day to care more than you do about your own health? It's not happening nearly as much as you think it is.

I don't really care one way or another what people think about what I do, as in I would do it regardless of their opinion.

I'm just curious why they think it's OK to judge, and why they feel the need for the lable on other people actions.

Um, I'm not judging. I don't really care what you eat. I may just assume you know better but just don't care, so why should I? But you know you judge people for other reasons. People judge. If my kids were running around screaming at the ice cream parlor you'd be judging me. There's no guarantee of a judgment free society. Make your decisions and move along.

DP. Yes, you are. You are the exact person that this thread is about.

Not really. I would wonder why any adult needs ice cream because in my mind it's kid food. I may take my kids for an ice cream because they like it, but I never get any. I just don't care for it. I may think its odd an adult of any size is eating it but I really don't care. They have different preferences. I'm more worried about keeping my kids in line lest I be judged.

Wait. You think ice cream is a "kid food". How incredibly sad for you. I'm getting ice cream on the way home from work in your honor.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What ridiculous thing, " you don't know how skinny brains work!"
I am thin, I am 50 and have always been thin. I am right now making a huge pastry called burek to eat for breakfast! I crave sweets and love them. Speak for yourself pp!

What’s your point? You are not thin because you make eat some sort of sweet burek (?!) for breakfast. And you're definitely not thin because you think certain foods are punishment

Ha, ha. Another unhinged person who thinks she is morally superior bcs she eats veggies? LOL!
I am thin, I am definitely thin, and I never said I think certain foods are a punishment. That is yu projecting. I am a person eating loads of veggies, non-stop. That doesn't mean I don't eat pasty. It was a savory burek, btw. Here is a photo for your starved brain! You can't even comprehend that a person eating pasty is thin, that is how messed up you are!

That pastry looks gross.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My experience in life is that thin women very rarely think they are more moral or virtuous than other people. I'm a thin person and while I exercise and try to eat a nutritious diet, I know that my thinness is largely the result of luck and genetics. I've never assumed I was better than anyone because of my weight. I have fat people in my immediate family and I've seen firsthand how terribly they can be treated and how little people understand about fatness and weight loss. I've also seen how self-punishing they can be because of their weight and I never, ever want to add to anyone's negative self image.

But after years of being around women a lot, and thus hearing lots of women talk about bodies and weight loss, my observation is that the women who are most invested in the "thin=moral superiority" myth are people who are not naturally thin but who are close enough to thinness the they can achieve it through dieting, exercise (sometimes excessive amounts of both, sometimes not). I think this group drives the entire attitude because they are the one group who can say thinness is something you can achieve through hard work. Naturally thin people don't think this (we are thin regardless). And people who are actually fat usually understand that there are limits to how thin they will ever be, even with extreme interventions.

But women who are naturally a size 6 or 8, but can diet and exercise down to a 0 or 2, tend to be the most complimentary of my body, like it's an achievement (it's not). They also tend to be the most irritated when they discover that I don't have to diet to maintain a size 0. And they also tend to have the harshest things to say about people who are heavier than they are. Or they tend to say nasty or critical things about other women's bodies, commenting on someone's postpartum belly or the cellulite on someone's legs, stuff that it would never occur to me to point out because it seems cruel and tacky.

If anything comes from the body acceptance movement, I hope it's for women in this category (healthy weights but not necessarily thin) to just accept that they don't actually "need" to lose 20 pounds. And to stop tormenting the rest of us over that 20 pounds. Not everyone needs to be really thin. There are lots of different kinds of healthy bodies. And if your body isn't healthy, that's really your business and its unlikely that it's a simple fix that you are too lazy to implement -- most people want to be healthy.

I read your first paragraph and stopped at you calling your family fat.
You are pretty bad too. Didn't read the rest of your post since you clearly are judgy and regardless of your statements you used thin for yourself and fat for them. Forget societal politeness, right?

Fat is only a pejorative term if you think there is something wrong with being fat. I don't. It's descriptive, and it's how my relatives would describe themselves. It's also the term that the body acceptance movement embraces. "Overweight" implies that there is a weight someone is supposed to be. I could also say "big" but, people who are very caught up in weight and morality will take issue with that too. There is nothing wrong with being fat. And some people are fat, and they would be the first to tell you that.

How about I start calling you emaciated? What nonsense you wrote. Fat is pejorative, insulting, and rude.

Well, so is skinny, but hasn't stopped anyone from using it. It implies malnourishment and underweight.

Excuse me? I am op and was ripped apart for using skinny, right here in this thread. So, I learned and am using thin now. Notice that you did not use skinny to describe yourself? But, you did use an insult to describe your relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My experience in life is that thin women very rarely think they are more moral or virtuous than other people. I'm a thin person and while I exercise and try to eat a nutritious diet, I know that my thinness is largely the result of luck and genetics. I've never assumed I was better than anyone because of my weight. I have fat people in my immediate family and I've seen firsthand how terribly they can be treated and how little people understand about fatness and weight loss. I've also seen how self-punishing they can be because of their weight and I never, ever want to add to anyone's negative self image.

But after years of being around women a lot, and thus hearing lots of women talk about bodies and weight loss, my observation is that the women who are most invested in the "thin=moral superiority" myth are people who are not naturally thin but who are close enough to thinness the they can achieve it through dieting, exercise (sometimes excessive amounts of both, sometimes not). I think this group drives the entire attitude because they are the one group who can say thinness is something you can achieve through hard work. Naturally thin people don't think this (we are thin regardless). And people who are actually fat usually understand that there are limits to how thin they will ever be, even with extreme interventions.

But women who are naturally a size 6 or 8, but can diet and exercise down to a 0 or 2, tend to be the most complimentary of my body, like it's an achievement (it's not). They also tend to be the most irritated when they discover that I don't have to diet to maintain a size 0. And they also tend to have the harshest things to say about people who are heavier than they are. Or they tend to say nasty or critical things about other women's bodies, commenting on someone's postpartum belly or the cellulite on someone's legs, stuff that it would never occur to me to point out because it seems cruel and tacky.

If anything comes from the body acceptance movement, I hope it's for women in this category (healthy weights but not necessarily thin) to just accept that they don't actually "need" to lose 20 pounds. And to stop tormenting the rest of us over that 20 pounds. Not everyone needs to be really thin. There are lots of different kinds of healthy bodies. And if your body isn't healthy, that's really your business and its unlikely that it's a simple fix that you are too lazy to implement -- most people want to be healthy.

I read your first paragraph and stopped at you calling your family fat.
You are pretty bad too. Didn't read the rest of your post since you clearly are judgy and regardless of your statements you used thin for yourself and fat for them. Forget societal politeness, right?

Fat is only a pejorative term if you think there is something wrong with being fat. I don't. It's descriptive, and it's how my relatives would describe themselves. It's also the term that the body acceptance movement embraces. "Overweight" implies that there is a weight someone is supposed to be. I could also say "big" but, people who are very caught up in weight and morality will take issue with that too. There is nothing wrong with being fat. And some people are fat, and they would be the first to tell you that.

How about I start calling you emaciated? What nonsense you wrote. Fat is pejorative, insulting, and rude.

Well, so is skinny, but hasn't stopped anyone from using it. It implies malnourishment and underweight.

Excuse me? I am op and was ripped apart for using skinny, right here in this thread. So, I learned and am using thin now. Notice that you did not use skinny to describe yourself? But, you did use an insult to describe your relatives.

DP, you are OP??? The person who ignored that person's very long and thoughtful post AGREEING WITH YOUR PREMISE and who will not let it go? I am someone who was fat, who is now less fat, and who does not think thinness has any moral value at all, but YOU OP seem to be as ugly on the inside as the people you purport to dislike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What ridiculous thing, " you don't know how skinny brains work!"
I am thin, I am 50 and have always been thin. I am right now making a huge pastry called burek to eat for breakfast! I crave sweets and love them. Speak for yourself pp!

What’s your point? You are not thin because you make eat some sort of sweet burek (?!) for breakfast. And you're definitely not thin because you think certain foods are punishment

Ha, ha. Another unhinged person who thinks she is morally superior bcs she eats veggies? LOL!
I am thin, I am definitely thin, and I never said I think certain foods are a punishment. That is yu projecting. I am a person eating loads of veggies, non-stop. That doesn't mean I don't eat pasty. It was a savory burek, btw. Here is a photo for your starved brain! You can't even comprehend that a person eating pasty is thin, that is how messed up you are!

That pastry looks gross.

DP here. It looks great to me. I’m a thin person who enjoys eating, loves to cook and bake, and am active and athletic. Not everyone has an unhealthy relationship with food. Labeling foods bad, carb bombs, unhealthy, or “kid” food, etc, is not productive. I don’t count calories, avoid certain foods, or restrict. Eating rich or buttery or even sweet foods is a nice treat in life and I don’t feel any guilt. It makes me happy just like sport makes me happy and cooking and eating for and with loved ones makes me happy. Balance in life is good.

[Anonymous]

The food judgers are the same people who in the 1950's would have judged you for having sex before marriage, getting an abortion or getting divorced, having an affair. THere are judgemental people in every generation. All that has really changed is what they're judgemental about.

At some point, it became unfashionable to label people as sluts and whores because they had sex before getting married. It was pretty much understood that people are different and they value different things when it comes to issues like premarital sex. People have different value systems. Not everyone is the same.

At some point we stopped judging women (for the most part) for working outside the home. It was pretty much understood that that too is a personal decision.

And even back then, it was pretty much the losers who had nothing else going for them who were really proud of their marital status, or the status of their virginity, etc.

My sister in law is really proud of her tiny little figure. I figure I make twice as much money as her, have a better career and my kids like me more. I guess I could have spent all that time at the gym, but I'm pretty happy with the choices that I have made. THat doesn't make me a loser or a 'glutton', anymore than living with my boyfriend made me a slut. Different strokes for different folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The food judgers are the same people who in the 1950's would have judged you for having sex before marriage, getting an abortion or getting divorced, having an affair. THere are judgemental people in every generation. All that has really changed is what they're judgemental about.

At some point, it became unfashionable to label people as sluts and whores because they had sex before getting married. It was pretty much understood that people are different and they value different things when it comes to issues like premarital sex. People have different value systems. Not everyone is the same.

At some point we stopped judging women (for the most part) for working outside the home. It was pretty much understood that that too is a personal decision.

And even back then, it was pretty much the losers who had nothing else going for them who were really proud of their marital status, or the status of their virginity, etc.

My sister in law is really proud of her tiny little figure. I figure I make twice as much money as her, have a better career and my kids like me more. I guess I could have spent all that time at the gym, but I'm pretty happy with the choices that I have made. THat doesn't make me a loser or a 'glutton', anymore than living with my boyfriend made me a slut. Different strokes for different folks.

Aren’t you judging her too? You have a “better career”, make more money, your kids like you more. You’re judging her for her lack of career advancement, parenting skills, choice to spend time in the gym. You chose differently, but you are also saying you chose better. That’s judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The food judgers are the same people who in the 1950's would have judged you for having sex before marriage, getting an abortion or getting divorced, having an affair. THere are judgemental people in every generation. All that has really changed is what they're judgemental about.

At some point, it became unfashionable to label people as sluts and whores because they had sex before getting married. It was pretty much understood that people are different and they value different things when it comes to issues like premarital sex. People have different value systems. Not everyone is the same.

At some point we stopped judging women (for the most part) for working outside the home. It was pretty much understood that that too is a personal decision.

And even back then, it was pretty much the losers who had nothing else going for them who were really proud of their marital status, or the status of their virginity, etc.

My sister in law is really proud of her tiny little figure. I figure I make twice as much money as her, have a better career and my kids like me more. I guess I could have spent all that time at the gym, but I'm pretty happy with the choices that I have made. THat doesn't make me a loser or a 'glutton', anymore than living with my boyfriend made me a slut. Different strokes for different folks.

I said this upthread. The ladies who are a bit heavier tend to be more accomplished in other areas. They seem more giving. I say this as someone who has remained in the 5'5, 115-120 lb-range most of my life.

[Anonymous]

I don't mean more giving as in 'kinder.' They give to their families and the community more through different kinds of careers and social engagement. They strike me as generally less vain and self-obsessed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What ridiculous thing, " you don't know how skinny brains work!"
I am thin, I am 50 and have always been thin. I am right now making a huge pastry called burek to eat for breakfast! I crave sweets and love them. Speak for yourself pp!

What’s your point? You are not thin because you make eat some sort of sweet burek (?!) for breakfast. And you're definitely not thin because you think certain foods are punishment

Ha, ha. Another unhinged person who thinks she is morally superior bcs she eats veggies? LOL!
I am thin, I am definitely thin, and I never said I think certain foods are a punishment. That is yu projecting. I am a person eating loads of veggies, non-stop. That doesn't mean I don't eat pasty. It was a savory burek, btw. Here is a photo for your starved brain! You can't even comprehend that a person eating pasty is thin, that is how messed up you are!

That pastry looks gross.

DP here. It looks great to me. I’m a thin person who enjoys eating, loves to cook and bake, and am active and athletic. Not everyone has an unhealthy relationship with food. Labeling foods bad, carb bombs, unhealthy, or “kid” food, etc, is not productive. I don’t count calories, avoid certain foods, or restrict. Eating rich or buttery or even sweet foods is a nice treat in life and I don’t feel any guilt. It makes me happy just like sport makes me happy and cooking and eating for and with loved ones makes me happy. Balance in life is good.

I think it’s just unfathomable for some folks that some of us pretty much eat whatever we want, do not live at the gym, and still remain thin even as we age. It’s just dumb luck and genetics a lot of the time, rather than exercise or starvation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Newsflash, because you did not put ice cream in your mouth today doesn't make you morally superior to a person that did have ice cream today.
If you think it does, you are the person I am talking about. Prig that thinks eating a certain way and looking a certain way makes you better than those that are a bit heavier.

So then what does it make you if you chose to continue to do things bad for your body when you are already at an unhealthy weight? I wouldn’t say it is a moral issue. But it is an issue..

Do we really need to put a label on it? Why simple fact of eating scoop of ice cream should be judged and called an issue.

DP - If you want to eat ice cream knowing its unhealthy, then just do it and own it. Why do you care what other people think? You like the ice cream and want to eat it and apparently don't care about the consequences, but you're worried someone else is giving you the time of day to care more than you do about your own health? It's not happening nearly as much as you think it is.

I don't really care one way or another what people think about what I do, as in I would do it regardless of their opinion.

I'm just curious why they think it's OK to judge, and why they feel the need for the lable on other people actions.

Um, I'm not judging. I don't really care what you eat. I may just assume you know better but just don't care, so why should I? But you know you judge people for other reasons. People judge. If my kids were running around screaming at the ice cream parlor you'd be judging me. There's no guarantee of a judgment free society. Make your decisions and move along.

DP. Yes, you are. You are the exact person that this thread is about.

Not really. I would wonder why any adult needs ice cream because in my mind it's kid food. I may take my kids for an ice cream because they like it, but I never get any. I just don't care for it. I may think its odd an adult of any size is eating it but I really don't care. They have different preferences. I'm more worried about keeping my kids in line lest I be judged.

Wait. You think ice cream is a "kid food". How incredibly sad for you. I'm getting ice cream on the way home from work in your honor.

I have my vices too, I just prefer savory over sweet. But in the example of ice cream I have no problem just taking a pass. it's not a moral judgment, just a preference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mean more giving as in 'kinder.' They give to their families and the community more through different kinds of careers and social engagement. They strike me as generally less vain and self-obsessed.

Is there any kind of study that backs this up? Because I don't see much of a correlation between size and generosity. Maybe you're just seeing more of it because in general more people tend to be heavy vs thin. It's just a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The food judgers are the same people who in the 1950's would have judged you for having sex before marriage, getting an abortion or getting divorced, having an affair. THere are judgemental people in every generation. All that has really changed is what they're judgemental about.

At some point, it became unfashionable to label people as sluts and whores because they had sex before getting married. It was pretty much understood that people are different and they value different things when it comes to issues like premarital sex. People have different value systems. Not everyone is the same.

At some point we stopped judging women (for the most part) for working outside the home. It was pretty much understood that that too is a personal decision.

And even back then, it was pretty much the losers who had nothing else going for them who were really proud of their marital status, or the status of their virginity, etc.

My sister in law is really proud of her tiny little figure. I figure I make twice as much money as her, have a better career and my kids like me more. I guess I could have spent all that time at the gym, but I'm pretty happy with the choices that I have made. THat doesn't make me a loser or a 'glutton', anymore than living with my boyfriend made me a slut. Different strokes for different folks.

I said this upthread. The ladies who are a bit heavier tend to be more accomplished in other areas. They seem more giving. I say this as someone who has remained in the 5'5, 115-120 lb-range most of my life.

This is just inane at this point. Is this OP again? You start out getting mad that anyone places a moral value on being thin, something many of us have agree with you on even as you yell at us. Now you're saying that thin women are less accomplished and less giving? So you're saying, that people who are not thin are morally superior!

I know OP has said several times that she is thin, but this entire thread is coming off as someone who is not as thin as they'd like acting out against specific thin people in her life that she feels act superior. The whole thing has projection written all over it. It's not a good faith argument about how society treats people at different weights (which is actually a conversation I'd be interested in having).

[Anonymous]

Ice cream is a kid food is such a bad take.

Just say you don’t like ice cream. And maybe visit Italy while you’re at it and look at all the adults walking around eating gelato in cones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Skinny people are annoying. They punish themselves by having no ice cream and eating veggies and 24/7. They dont need us to pile on.

I’m skinny. Not by choice. I just don’t have a huge appetite. I don’t deprive myself anything. I excerise for relaxing and pleasure. Walking and yoga. I don’t think I’m better than anyone. Just not a big eater