Reply to Why he won't leave his wife for his mistress

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sophomore year in college, my roommate's dad left her mother.  Her brother attended the same University and I knew him very well too.  They found out their dad had been having an affair.

They were 19 and 21 and I remember their anguish and hurt.  I spent so much time with them during their family ordeal.  Neither spoke to their dad for a long time after.

I remember them both saying it hurt almost more now at an older age because they felt their entire childhood had been a lie.

I carried that with me a long time.

These are two very strong people, btw.  So the guy poo-poo kids as being babies about it is so messed up in the head.

[b]80% of men that have a father that cheated on their mother eventually cheat on their own wives.  Yet 2/3s of marriages are faithful.[/b]  The majority of that is multi-generational infidelity due to childhood trauma.  He says himself his father cheated.[/quote]

If you knew anything about statistics, you would easily see those two statements couldn't possibly both be true.  Otherwise within about 4 generations, the infidelity rate would be approaching 90%.

I get it though.  For those who see cheating as an inexcusable evil that shall never reveal itself, they must comfort themselves in some bogus thoughts that as long as they choose the right partner, the chance of infidelity is remote.  Like doing a rain dance, or something.[/quote]

Actually, can you explain the stat part?  If in generation 1, 100 men had cheating fathers, 80% or 80 of them would cheat.  In generation 2, 80 men had fathers who cheated and 80% or 64 would cheat.  Why do you assume that we would get to 90% cheating rate over tiime?[/quote]

First of all, 2/3rd of all marriages aren't faithful.  Even if you took the extremely low number of only 25% people cheating, that's about half of marriages where both partners are faithful.  If you believe it's closer to half, then about only 1 in 4 marriages are faithful (and yes I know there can be overlap)

If you assume 33% of men cheat, and 80% of their offspring will definitely cheat, than in the next generation, you have a guarantee that 80% of 1/3 are cheating (27% of all men) plus 1/3 of the other 2/3rds who don't come from a first generation of cheaters.  This is about 17%, combined with the other subgroup you are now up to 44% of men who cheat.  Now keep doing the math.

You would have to assume that 90% of men born to faithful fathers will also be faithful to keep the infidelity rate approximately static at only 1/3rd of men.  And if you believe that, I have swamp land in Florida to sell you.

Not trying to condone or condemn cheating, it's a tale as old as time and will always be with us, no matter how much we shout EVIL into the void.[/quote]

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