Teen is all over his sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why haven’t you called CPS today? Why wait to confront the mother in the future. That’s too long.

My sister was molested and abused by our cousin, I didn’t know because I was much older and wasn’t home much. Our cousin was only 3 years old than my sister and my parents helped raise him because my aunt was a single mother and needed help. But looking back the signs were there. She suddenly started gaining weight and wetting the bed when she was in 1st grade. She was obese by 4th grade. My cousin became super clingy to her. My parents brushed it off saying my cousin had such a sad home life.

When my cousin was 15 and my sister 12 another family came forward to accuse my cousin of molesting their daughter and the sh!t hit the fan. He was arrested. My sister came told my parents. My cousin was sentenced to 75 years in jail. He’s currently in a super max.

My sister is 350 pounds with horrible self esteem and mental health issues. She is heavily medicated. She went from bad relationship to bad relationships until she married a huge loser who is horrible to her and I wish she would just divorce. She thinks that what she deserves. It’s awful to see her this way. She’s now 40.

I wish everyday someone had noticed the signs and helped her because the damage is now done and she will never be what she could have been. Help this girl OP! Pleas.

What are the signs? I want to watch her for a few days before I make that call.
Also, I feel like her mother needs to be altered first to give her a chance.

OP the point of calling CPS is to have someone trained investigate. Trying to turn yourself into an amateur social worker to decide whether a call should be made is counterproductive. Social workers on this thread have already told you to call. Call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Again, when you hear in a few years that this girl is cutting herself, has disordered eating or commits suicide, how are you going to feel?

Multiple professionals on this thread have said these are big red flags and you should report it.

I feel sick. The mom questioning her is NOT GOING TO HELP THIS GIRL.

The mom, dad and grand parents are screwed up people already.

This. I hate when people turn their head when they see huge red flags of child abuse. People like that are despicable. I hope no one turns their head when their kid needs help. Shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:. What stands out to me is her stating that she is the only one IN THEIR CIRCLE who seems to think it’s weird. That means it’s not just “mom is in denial”. It implies that other parents in their social circle do not see anything inappropriate with their interactions. Only OP does.

No, other people have commented on this, as well.
This family doesn't have other friends really. We're the closest ones although we don't see them very often.

Our common aquatintence also have commented on the inappropriate kissing and touching a few years ago, but that was when they were smaller kids. So everyone wrote it off to affection. But now it's starting to look very weird.

“Inappropriate kissing and touching” was never normal sibling affection, and you know it. You’re either an enabler or a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:. What stands out to me is her stating that she is the only one IN THEIR CIRCLE who seems to think it’s weird. That means it’s not just “mom is in denial”. It implies that other parents in their social circle do not see anything inappropriate with their interactions. Only OP does.

No, other people have commented on this, as well.
This family doesn't have other friends really. We're the closest ones although we don't see them very often.

Our common aquatintence also have commented on the inappropriate kissing and touching a few years ago, but that was when they were smaller kids. So everyone wrote it off to affection. But now it's starting to look very weird.

“Inappropriate kissing and touching” was never normal sibling affection, and you know it. You’re either an enabler or a troll.

I called her a troll a few pages back when her story changed and got jumped on. It's a perverted troll. Don't worry about the fictional girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:. What stands out to me is her stating that she is the only one IN THEIR CIRCLE who seems to think it’s weird. That means it’s not just “mom is in denial”. It implies that other parents in their social circle do not see anything inappropriate with their interactions. Only OP does.

No, other people have commented on this, as well.
This family doesn't have other friends really. We're the closest ones although we don't see them very often.

Our common aquatintence also have commented on the inappropriate kissing and touching a few years ago, but that was when they were smaller kids. So everyone wrote it off to affection. But now it's starting to look very weird.

“Inappropriate kissing and touching” was never normal sibling affection, and you know it. You’re either an enabler or a troll.

I called her a troll a few pages back when her story changed and got jumped on. It's a perverted troll. Don't worry about the fictional girl.

+1,000 - Maybe business is slow.

[Anonymous]

OP have you seen them fight? If so what's was it like?

[Anonymous]

Mom needs to be “alerted”? What?

That’s not how reporting works. If you were a mandated reporter you could be charged with a crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom needs to be “alerted”? What?

That’s not how reporting works. If you were a mandated reporter you could be charged with a crime.

If she witnessed something or was told something that was a crime, yes. So far she has witnessed some affection from a brother to a sister, and some physical playfulness, that she thinks might be inappropriate but she isnt' sure. If a teacher saw a brother hug or pick up his sister, and the sister didn't show any signs that she was being abused (acting out, being sexual with other kids, poor grades, poor hygiene, weight gain/weight loss, anger, etc), then what exactly do you think that teacher should be reporting? If the girl told the teacher she was being abused, then you're right.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you're totally circling the issue while trying to avoid dealing with it. Too bad. You realize if you were describing your own kids (good Lord, is that possibly what is going on???) someone would have already made a CPS report?

Or maybe you're working on your novel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I've got the number and read the process (apparently can't do it anonymously), but decided to wait till next weekend to confirm my suspicions before I ruin everyone's life.

What I saw is not normal. I'm not 100% sure it's sexual. But I'm sure it's not normal. He's holding her too long and too much. It's too much physical contact. Also, I'm sure the boundaries are being walked over.

I'm going to ask the girl if she prefers to stay with DD in the room and if she does, I'll insist she does.

I'm going to watch her with her brother together very closely.

I'm also going to have a serious talk with her mother and tell her that I suspect the girl is being abused and this is not child rough housing, that they should respect her boundaries.

I'm going to invite the girl to sleep at our house on weekends. I'll try to gently talk to her to see how she's doing.

I brought it up with DH and he said he thinks the boy has always treated his sister like a toy (not sexually, but like his property) and parents let him do it. But he didn't notice anything sexual.

However, my concern is that the boy is going through puberty so who knows what he is going to do.

If your husband doesn’t see it as sexual that’s probably a pretty good barameter

Jesus, it will eventually become sexual, who does not get that?

I had an older brother who tended to be mean--physically. This was not sexual. Then puberty came for him, then for me, and instead of him just hitting or whatever he was forcing my clothes off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you're totally circling the issue while trying to avoid dealing with it. Too bad. You realize if you were describing your own kids (good Lord, is that possibly what is going on???) someone would have already made a CPS report?

Or maybe you're working on your novel.

Novel it is, right op?

[Anonymous]

I was raped and sexually molested by my older brother starting at age 4( that I remember). This went on untill I was 13 and he started dating. My parents did nothing. Absolutely nothing. They walked in and choose to see playing/rough housing.

It started by making me his pet. He baby-sat me, had a hand in naming me, and ALWAYS called the shots. He would convince me to give him my dinner ( there was plenty if he was actually hungry for seconds). He would punish me if I didn't "play" in his room every night after dinner.... It escalated from holding and touching to grinding and piv.

This set the foundation of being raped by another rapist for 10 years.

I am 32 and still trying to get my life together. It's a miracle I haven't off'd myself.

Get this kid help. Please OP. I'll make the call for you, if you prefer to stay out of it or anonymous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was raped and sexually molested by my older brother starting at age 4( that I remember). This went on untill I was 13 and he started dating. My parents did nothing. Absolutely nothing. They walked in and choose to see playing/rough housing.

It started by making me his pet. He baby-sat me, had a hand in naming me, and ALWAYS called the shots. He would convince me to give him my dinner ( there was plenty if he was actually hungry for seconds). He would punish me if I didn't "play" in his room every night after dinner.... It escalated from holding and touching to grinding and piv.

This set the foundation of being raped by another rapist for 10 years.

I am 32 and still trying to get my life together. It's a miracle I haven't off'd myself.

Get this kid help. Please OP. I'll make the call for you, if you prefer to stay out of it or anonymous.

This makes me so sad to read. I'm sorry about what happened to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raped and sexually molested by my older brother starting at age 4( that I remember). This went on untill I was 13 and he started dating. My parents did nothing. Absolutely nothing. They walked in and choose to see playing/rough housing.

It started by making me his pet. He baby-sat me, had a hand in naming me, and ALWAYS called the shots. He would convince me to give him my dinner ( there was plenty if he was actually hungry for seconds). He would punish me if I didn't "play" in his room every night after dinner.... It escalated from holding and touching to grinding and piv.

This set the foundation of being raped by another rapist for 10 years.

I am 32 and still trying to get my life together. It's a miracle I haven't off'd myself.

Get this kid help. Please OP. I'll make the call for you, if you prefer to stay out of it or anonymous.

This makes me so sad to read. I'm sorry about what happened to you.

I am so sorry to read this. How horrible that your parents did nothing to protect you.

[Anonymous]

Op should hide her head in shame.