Teen is all over his sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Look. All we can get is what OP posts. Some of her posts make it sound totally inappropriate and icky, some of her posts make it sound more harmless. What stands out to me is her stating that she is the only one IN THEIR CIRCLE who seems to think it’s weird. That means it’s not just “mom is in denial”. It implies that other parents in their social circle do not see anything inappropriate with their interactions. Only OP does. Am I the only one who thinks maybe , just maybe, that means OPs lens is colored a little for some reason? You can see a 14 year old hug his sister and then carry her off jokingly at the pool while she laughs in protest. And you can describe it just like that. Or you can describe it “he picked her up and held her close to her body, and wouldn’t put her down, and she didn’t seem unhappy, because she knew he wouldn’t listen to her protests”. OP is describing. It the second way. She admits NO ONE ELSE IN THEIR CIRCLE THINKS ANYTHING IS OFF. Maybe OP is the only one who notices. Or, more likely, e is seeing intent and innuendo where there is none, for a reason of her own.

I went back to see if I missed some posts. She said once, early on, "it seems like I'm the only one in their circle who thinks this is weird." I think you're reading it to say that other people have said this is fine when I'm reading it to say that OP feels weird about it but hasn't said anything to her friend, and other friends haven't said anything to OP (or to her friend in front of OP), which is not the same as other friends not thinking it's weird.

And now she is saying that her friends all DO think it’s weird and also comment on it. Which means she is probably a troll since she lost track of her story there.

No I think that people tried to interpret the first comment as OP was crazy because other people didn't see it, and by extension everyone in the thread who think this is a problem are a mob, and OP came back and clarified that it has been commented on in the past but now there are no other friends around to comment, and the same people who tried to say it's a mob mentality to worry about this girl are now going to say "that's not how I read it the first time so you're a troll."

Some people are really, really invested in not seeing child abuse. Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. Deflect deflect deflect. Strawman here and there. Above all, insist that a thing that happens to 20-25% of girls before age 18 is SOOOOOO farfetched that it could not possibly be happening.

. Read page 2 , 06:32. “I’m the only one in their circle who seems to notice it”. Now she is saying something different but that was her story at first.

No, again. Firstly, you misquoted her. Secondly, she has explained that the friends commented on the earlier kissing when the kids were younger. Now the kids are older so it's even weirder to OP, but the friends are gone. The "circle" that is left is mother, father and grandparents, all of whom ignore the behavior. They act like it's not weird. You are fixated on discrediting her, starting with a post that says she's giving a one-sided account to now saying that if she fully explains herself she's obviously changed her story. The story hasn't changed.

“It just seems I’m the only one who sees it as a problem in their circle”. Sorry. That’s not misquoting like “oh you’re putting words in her mouth” that’s like “I switched the location of the subject in the sentence on accident”. Don’t be dramatic.

Don't be dramatic, says person who is repeatedly calling OP a liar and a troll for clarifying an earlier statement in a way that in no way contradicts the story.

[Anonymous]

Ignore skeptical troll.

OP has a good plan so let's hope the chat with the mother helps resolve the issue one way or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Look. All we can get is what OP posts. Some of her posts make it sound totally inappropriate and icky, some of her posts make it sound more harmless. What stands out to me is her stating that she is the only one IN THEIR CIRCLE who seems to think it’s weird. That means it’s not just “mom is in denial”. It implies that other parents in their social circle do not see anything inappropriate with their interactions. Only OP does. Am I the only one who thinks maybe , just maybe, that means OPs lens is colored a little for some reason? You can see a 14 year old hug his sister and then carry her off jokingly at the pool while she laughs in protest. And you can describe it just like that. Or you can describe it “he picked her up and held her close to her body, and wouldn’t put her down, and she didn’t seem unhappy, because she knew he wouldn’t listen to her protests”. OP is describing. It the second way. She admits NO ONE ELSE IN THEIR CIRCLE THINKS ANYTHING IS OFF. Maybe OP is the only one who notices. Or, more likely, e is seeing intent and innuendo where there is none, for a reason of her own.

I went back to see if I missed some posts. She said once, early on, "it seems like I'm the only one in their circle who thinks this is weird." I think you're reading it to say that other people have said this is fine when I'm reading it to say that OP feels weird about it but hasn't said anything to her friend, and other friends haven't said anything to OP (or to her friend in front of OP), which is not the same as other friends not thinking it's weird.

And now she is saying that her friends all DO think it’s weird and also comment on it. Which means she is probably a troll since she lost track of her story there.

No I think that people tried to interpret the first comment as OP was crazy because other people didn't see it, and by extension everyone in the thread who think this is a problem are a mob, and OP came back and clarified that it has been commented on in the past but now there are no other friends around to comment, and the same people who tried to say it's a mob mentality to worry about this girl are now going to say "that's not how I read it the first time so you're a troll."

Some people are really, really invested in not seeing child abuse. Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. Deflect deflect deflect. Strawman here and there. Above all, insist that a thing that happens to 20-25% of girls before age 18 is SOOOOOO farfetched that it could not possibly be happening.

. Read page 2 , 06:32. “I’m the only one in their circle who seems to notice it”. Now she is saying something different but that was her story at first.

No, again. Firstly, you misquoted her. Secondly, she has explained that the friends commented on the earlier kissing when the kids were younger. Now the kids are older so it's even weirder to OP, but the friends are gone. The "circle" that is left is mother, father and grandparents, all of whom ignore the behavior. They act like it's not weird. You are fixated on discrediting her, starting with a post that says she's giving a one-sided account to now saying that if she fully explains herself she's obviously changed her story. The story hasn't changed.

“It just seems I’m the only one who sees it as a problem in their circle”. Sorry. That’s not misquoting like “oh you’re putting words in her mouth” that’s like “I switched the location of the subject in the sentence on accident”. Don’t be dramatic.

Don't be dramatic, says person who is repeatedly calling OP a liar and a troll for clarifying an earlier statement in a way that in no way contradicts the story.

Look, she went from “no one else thinks this is off” to “everyone else notices and has commented to me”, basically. You’re invested in this being true for some reason but this site is full of trolls and this is probably one of them. I’d think you’d be happy?! Since you were so sure this girl was being raped?!

[Anonymous]

Dramatic use of punctuation there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dramatic use of punctuation there.

? This thread has jumped the shark

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Look, she went from “no one else thinks this is off” to “everyone else notices and has commented to me”, basically.

OP here. No one in their family treats this like it's inappropriate, no one at camps or public places has said anything as far as I know (and I may not know). But other people that know them have commented a few years ago about inappropriate affection. But they were kids then. Now we're almost the only tones that see them together outside of their family. They go to different schools and activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Look, she went from “no one else thinks this is off” to “everyone else notices and has commented to me”, basically.

OP here. No one in their family treats this like it's inappropriate, no one at camps or public places has said anything as far as I know (and I may not know). But other people that know them have commented a few years ago about inappropriate affection. But they were kids then. Now we're almost the only tones that see them together outside of their family. They go to different schools and activities.

That seems weird to me as well. They don't have any social circle despite having school age kids? Do the kids do any activities?

[Anonymous]

Again, when you hear in a few years that this girl is cutting herself, has disordered eating or commits suicide, how are you going to feel?

Multiple professionals on this thread have said these are big red flags and you should report it.

I feel sick. The mom questioning her is NOT GOING TO HELP THIS GIRL.

The mom, dad and grand parents are screwed up people already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Look, she went from “no one else thinks this is off” to “everyone else notices and has commented to me”, basically.

OP here. No one in their family treats this like it's inappropriate, no one at camps or public places has said anything as far as I know (and I may not know). But other people that know them have commented a few years ago about inappropriate affection. But they were kids then. Now we're almost the only tones that see them together outside of their family. They go to different schools and activities.

That seems weird to me as well. They don't have any social circle despite having school age kids? Do the kids do any activities?

The family is off so people have dropped them.

[Anonymous]

OP, why haven’t you called CPS today? Why wait to confront the mother in the future. That’s too long.

My sister was molested and abused by our cousin, I didn’t know because I was much older and wasn’t home much. Our cousin was only 3 years old than my sister and my parents helped raise him because my aunt was a single mother and needed help. But looking back the signs were there. She suddenly started gaining weight and wetting the bed when she was in 1st grade. She was obese by 4th grade. My cousin became super clingy to her. My parents brushed it off saying my cousin had such a sad home life.

When my cousin was 15 and my sister 12 another family came forward to accuse my cousin of molesting their daughter and the sh!t hit the fan. He was arrested. My sister came told my parents. My cousin was sentenced to 75 years in jail. He’s currently in a super max.

My sister is 350 pounds with horrible self esteem and mental health issues. She is heavily medicated. She went from bad relationship to bad relationships until she married a huge loser who is horrible to her and I wish she would just divorce. She thinks that what she deserves. It’s awful to see her this way. She’s now 40.

I wish everyday someone had noticed the signs and helped her because the damage is now done and she will never be what she could have been. Help this girl OP! Pleas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
That seems weird to me as well. They don't have any social circle despite having school age kids? Do the kids do any activities?

The kids do have friends. The boy has school friends but I haven't seen them at their house. But the girl has friends over at their house, sometimes sleepovers (not sure about the sleeping arrangement). They just don't hang out with other families. Both kids do activities, but not together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why haven’t you called CPS today? Why wait to confront the mother in the future. That’s too long.

My sister was molested and abused by our cousin, I didn’t know because I was much older and wasn’t home much. Our cousin was only 3 years old than my sister and my parents helped raise him because my aunt was a single mother and needed help. But looking back the signs were there. She suddenly started gaining weight and wetting the bed when she was in 1st grade. She was obese by 4th grade. My cousin became super clingy to her. My parents brushed it off saying my cousin had such a sad home life.

When my cousin was 15 and my sister 12 another family came forward to accuse my cousin of molesting their daughter and the sh!t hit the fan. He was arrested. My sister came told my parents. My cousin was sentenced to 75 years in jail. He’s currently in a super max.

My sister is 350 pounds with horrible self esteem and mental health issues. She is heavily medicated. She went from bad relationship to bad relationships until she married a huge loser who is horrible to her and I wish she would just divorce. She thinks that what she deserves. It’s awful to see her this way. She’s now 40.

I wish everyday someone had noticed the signs and helped her because the damage is now done and she will never be what she could have been. Help this girl OP! Pleas.

What are the signs? I want to watch her for a few days before I make that call.
Also, I feel like her mother needs to be altered first to give her a chance.

[Anonymous]

I knew a girl in 7th grade who had been raped by her brother and his friends when she was younger.

And years later, in another state, I had a friend who had been raped by her older brother when she was young. CPS eventually intervened. When I knew her, she did not live with her brother, but her stepmother treated her like she was promiscuous and hitting on her own father. Her problems were more than I could handle but I managed to get her to talk to the school counselor. She moved away that summer and I have often wondered how she is doing. She was in so much pain.

Child sexual abuse by siblings is not as rare as people want to think.

You need to call, OP. This girl needs to have a social worker speak with her away from her parents. She is in a dangerous position. Talk to the mom if you must, but you need to call.

[Anonymous]

Even if this mom sees nothing wrong with the way her son acts toward his sister, I’d remind her she’d be wise to be more aware of his behavior in case he’s this way with others. She should be well aware that perceived sexual contact with any female could get him in serious trouble in the world we live in today. He’s plenty old enough for a serious conversation about his actions and potential consequences. Even if it’s completely innocent sexually, he’s in essence being told (by not being reprimanded) that he doesn’t have to respect boundaries and appropriate personal space and that’s going to be an even bigger major issue as he ages. Mom needs a HUGE reality check!!

[Anonymous]

Observe and document as much as you can on the trip, prior to bringing it up with the Mom.

I wonder if the sister would like her own bedroom, but maybe they are not asking here, and only going on the wished of the brother.