How to not “let yourself go”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as a fairly shallow person who works out, wears makeup, etc: After thinking about it, I really think the important things are sleep and being happy/vibrant. We all know thin ladies with good hair clothes and makeup who still look like tired old bags. Ina Garten is overweight, wears technically frumpy clothes, and has a boring haircut, but I don’t think anyone would say she’s let herself go. She looks happy and well rested. I think it’s something about the eyes that really makes a difference?

I do think she let herself go because she’s overweight.

PP. I just don’t agree that weight is the defining factor of letting yourself go. I think it’s a separate, maybe related. I personally would not say that Ina, Martha Stewart, Oprah, or Catharine Deneuve have let themselves go, even though they are all overweight. On the other hand, I 100% think Kellyanne Conway has let herself go even though she’s thin and has mostly decent clothes and hair. She just looks tired and unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as a fairly shallow person who works out, wears makeup, etc: After thinking about it, I really think the important things are sleep and being happy/vibrant. We all know thin ladies with good hair clothes and makeup who still look like tired old bags. Ina Garten is overweight, wears technically frumpy clothes, and has a boring haircut, but I don’t think anyone would say she’s let herself go. She looks happy and well rested. I think it’s something about the eyes that really makes a difference?

I do think she let herself go because she’s overweight.

PP. I just don’t agree that weight is the defining factor of letting yourself go. I think it’s a separate, maybe related. I personally would not say that Ina, Martha Stewart, Oprah, or Catharine Deneuve have let themselves go, even though they are all overweight. On the other hand, I 100% think Kellyanne Conway has let herself go even though she’s thin and has mostly decent clothes and hair. She just looks tired and unhappy.

As they say, women reach a certain age where you have to choose between the ass and the face. They can't both look good.

Kellyanne looks tired and gaunt in part BECAUSE she is thin. If she gained 20 pounds, her face would be rounder and younger looking. (I say this as a slim--not skinny--53-year-old who looks in the mirror every morning and thinks 10 pounds might be good for what ails me.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

The quality of affordable gym daycare is abysmal. I quit because i couldn’t stomach my one year old watching an hour of TV a day.

[Anonymous]

Everyone says to wear sunscreen, but they don’t mention how thorough you have to be. I always start with the upper lip, since I used to forget it. You can see lines on my neck and chest as well, because I didn’t protect them. Also, look for an SPF eye cream. Companies keep discontinuing them, probably because SPF is an eye irritant.

Live in the cheapest house you can be happy with. We’re the only one of our friends who don’t live in a single family house, by choice. We wanted money for extras, like a nice gym.

Physical therapy. Once you get surgery, you are freezing the dysfunction in your system forever. Always try a good physical therapist first.

Wear a mouth guard at night. Bad teeth hurt and look terrible. I used to grind my teeth, and there’s no getting my enamel back.

[Anonymous]

PP, here. I just wanted to mention that kids are both very aging, and the best thing that has happened to me. One of the outstanding experiences of my life. Sure, the first year is stressful, but extra cash for babysitting and cleaners helps a ton ( because you bought a cheaper house, right?) So does parenting classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as a fairly shallow person who works out, wears makeup, etc: After thinking about it, I really think the important things are sleep and being happy/vibrant. We all know thin ladies with good hair clothes and makeup who still look like tired old bags. Ina Garten is overweight, wears technically frumpy clothes, and has a boring haircut, but I don’t think anyone would say she’s let herself go. She looks happy and well rested. I think it’s something about the eyes that really makes a difference?

I do think she let herself go because she’s overweight.

PP. I just don’t agree that weight is the defining factor of letting yourself go. I think it’s a separate, maybe related. I personally would not say that Ina, Martha Stewart, Oprah, or Catharine Deneuve have let themselves go, even though they are all overweight. On the other hand, I 100% think Kellyanne Conway has let herself go even though she’s thin and has mostly decent clothes and hair. She just looks tired and unhappy.

As they say, women reach a certain age where you have to choose between the ass and the face. They can't both look good.

Kellyanne looks tired and gaunt in part BECAUSE she is thin. If she gained 20 pounds, her face would be rounder and younger looking. (I say this as a slim--not skinny--53-year-old who looks in the mirror every morning and thinks 10 pounds might be good for what ails me.)

Kellyanne hasn’t let herself go, but there’s an oil painting of her somewhere that looks like a hideous snarling beast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this as a fairly shallow person who works out, wears makeup, etc: After thinking about it, I really think the important things are sleep and being happy/vibrant. We all know thin ladies with good hair clothes and makeup who still look like tired old bags. Ina Garten is overweight, wears technically frumpy clothes, and has a boring haircut, but I don’t think anyone would say she’s let herself go. She looks happy and well rested. I think it’s something about the eyes that really makes a difference?

I do think she let herself go because she’s overweight.

PP. I just don’t agree that weight is the defining factor of letting yourself go. I think it’s a separate, maybe related. I personally would not say that Ina, Martha Stewart, Oprah, or Catharine Deneuve have let themselves go, even though they are all overweight. On the other hand, I 100% think Kellyanne Conway has let herself go even though she’s thin and has mostly decent clothes and hair. She just looks tired and unhappy.

As they say, women reach a certain age where you have to choose between the ass and the face. They can't both look good.

Kellyanne looks tired and gaunt in part BECAUSE she is thin. If she gained 20 pounds, her face would be rounder and younger looking. (I say this as a slim--not skinny--53-year-old who looks in the mirror every morning and thinks 10 pounds might be good for what ails me.)

Kellyanne hasn’t let herself go, but there’s an oil painting of her somewhere that looks like a hideous snarling beast.

She is a hideous snarling beast irl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Sad, divorce coming to you soon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Sad, divorce coming to you soon

NP here, not all men divorce if you gain weight. My mom gained weight and my dad thought she was the most beautiful woman in the planet. I have gained weight, DH can't keep his hand off me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Sad, divorce coming to you soon

The "sad" part is that you think this is divorce worthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

The quality of affordable gym daycare is abysmal. I quit because i couldn’t stomach my one year old watching an hour of TV a day.

Here here. I’ve tried three and they are all crap. And if I’m working out and showering, which I usually do since it is the only chance I’ll have, it is more than an hour. Not worth it. I stay slim through diet and do what I can at home to tone and exercise. When my kids get in school, I’ll have more time for vigorous exercise at the gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people say make-up makes you look better? It just makes you look like you put purchased products on your face.

I completely agree! It doesn’t make you look better, just different. You can wear make up and still look like you’ve met yourself go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Gyms have childcare. Being with your kids is no excuse. And since you know being out of shape is making you more tired it’s really no favor to them.

The quality of affordable gym daycare is abysmal. I quit because i couldn’t stomach my one year old watching an hour of TV a day.

Here here. I’ve tried three and they are all crap. And if I’m working out and showering, which I usually do since it is the only chance I’ll have, it is more than an hour. Not worth it. I stay slim through diet and do what I can at home to tone and exercise. When my kids get in school, I’ll have more time for vigorous exercise at the gym.

Yeah... no. As long as my kids are kept safe, I don't care if they get an hour of TV, even when little, if it means I get a quality workout. "Toning" doesn't cut it. And it's not about not letting myself go, it's about keeping myself physically and mentally healthy and strong. Moreover, I'm not glorifying the martyr role for my kids.

[Anonymous]

I think its really hard to stay in shape with kids unless you workout at home. You can get a good workout at home with some equipment...a treadmill with a virtual reality screen....some weights...maybe a peloton bike. Whatever you can do to get some vigorous exercise...even 20 mins a day will do wonders. I would never have time to go to they gym all the time. I usually go to the gym on Saturday and work out at home the rest of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 37. I’ve let myself go. Here’s how it happened and you can see what you can avoid. I used to eat healthy and work out regularly.
I have 3 kids between the ages of 4 and 9 (I had them when I was 27, 30, 33). After each pregnancy I basically held on to 8 lbs that I never lost, so now I am up 25 lbs on my 2008 pre kids weight.
I work part time while the kids are in school but that doesn’t mean I have free time - it means I’m with kids, then working, then with kids.
I’m really tired. I don’t work out - I try to walk some but it’s not enough. I eat fast / easy to prep stuff and I have a sweet tooth.

Despite all this I could still theoretically put care into what I wear, wear contacts, blow dry my hair, wear make up and I would look at least 50% better but most of the time I can’t even muster that.

Other people do look better than me who work and have kids. They are just better people than me!! Or maybe I’m wasting too much time volunteering at kids activities and they’re saying no. Idk.

Sad, divorce coming to you soon

NP here, not all men divorce if you gain weight. My mom gained weight and my dad thought she was the most beautiful woman in the planet. I have gained weight, DH can't keep his hand off me.

Are you aware that people have affairs?