Do you spank your kids?

[Anonymous]

Yes. It’s not that often, but for outright defiance, a very serious safety issue, repeated lying, yes. Not out of anger, more the old school kind.

[Anonymous]

This thread is from 2015.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It’s not that often, but for outright defiance, a very serious safety issue, repeated lying, yes. Not out of anger, more the old school kind.

Hitting NOT out of anger? What then?

[Anonymous]

No way. It's lazy and unimaginative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. It’s not that often, but for outright defiance, a very serious safety issue, repeated lying, yes. Not out of anger, more the old school kind.

Hitting NOT out of anger? What then?

+1. What?? And how is spanking effective for safety issues??

I would never in a million years hit a child. That’s crazy.

[Anonymous]

Five kids. All adults. We never hit our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

I’m a mandated reporter. If your child told me you hit (“spank”) them, I would report you and then follow up to be sure you were investigated.

[Anonymous]

I have never spanked my kids, who are now well-behaved teenagers who largely moderate their own behavior well and are kind and gentle with others. I have also been a teacher for over twenty years, and the only result of parental spanking I ever saw was that it created kids who thought they had to hit other people to solve their problems. If you spank, it is probably because you were spanked, and you haven’t yet stopped to consider whether you could be the one to stop the cycle of generational violence. You can help make the world a kinder place if you just stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

I’m a mandated reporter. If your child told me you hit (“spank”) them, I would report you and then follow up to be sure you were investigated.

Cool, but spanking is legal and you would, in fact, waste cps’ time and cause significant distress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never spanked my kids, who are now well-behaved teenagers who largely moderate their own behavior well and are kind and gentle with others. I have also been a teacher for over twenty years, and the only result of parental spanking I ever saw was that it created kids who thought they had to hit other people to solve their problems. If you spank, it is probably because you were spanked, and you haven’t yet stopped to consider whether you could be the one to stop the cycle of generational violence. You can help make the world a kinder place if you just stop.

Or you were spanked and legitimately think it 1) does not qualify as “violence” 2) think it is a legitimate form of discipline
It was the primary form of discipline for … human history. Calling it “violence” is honestly just gaslighting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

I’m a mandated reporter. If your child told me you hit (“spank”) them, I would report you and then follow up to be sure you were investigated.

Someone didn't pay attention during their mandated reporter training. That's an ethical violation, first of all, and second of all, you don't get to dictate what CPS does or doesn't do. You make the call, and then they decide whether or not to investigate. Once the call is placed, it's out of your hands. This is like, really basic stuff. You don't sound very smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

I’m a mandated reporter. If your child told me you hit (“spank”) them, I would report you and then follow up to be sure you were investigated.

Someone didn't pay attention during their mandated reporter training. That's an ethical violation, first of all, and second of all, you don't get to dictate what CPS does or doesn't do. You make the call, and then they decide whether or not to investigate. Once the call is placed, it's out of your hands. This is like, really basic stuff. You don't sound very smart.

+1 I'm a teacher, so a mandated reporter. I've made several CPS calls before and do the mandated reporter training yearly, as required. The one in Maryland at least has always made it a point to say that spanking is NOT a reportable offense if it does not leave marks.

We have to fill out a form with the details of the situation afterwards and file it and debrief with our school social worker. If someone disclosed that they called for a spanking, they would absolutely be counseled by the school social worker not to do that anymore. (Obviously, if there were marks it'd be a different story.) I wonder where PP works.

(For the record, I think spanking is a stupid and outdated practice and have never even considered spanking my children. But it's not illegal, and reporting legal things simply because you find them distasteful is not OK.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I spank but very rarely (once a month, maybe). It works, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad about doing it. Sometimes it's the only thing that will get my kid to shape up.

I think on DCUM you'll find that a majority of the posters will tell you it's unnecessary and abusive.

You think spanking once a month equates to "very rarely"?

It's all relative, babe.

If you're doing it once a month and feel bad about it, maybe it's time to consider that it's not working.

Like I said...it works. I do have a conscience and don't enjoy smacking my kid's bottom, but sometimes it's the only thing that nips the offending behavior in the bud.

What they learn is to fear you. And shame. And that physical violence is ok.

https://www.familyeducation.com/life/spanking/why-spanking-bad-idea

[Anonymous]

CPS won’t do anything if you call your daughter a worthless c— b—-, but you’re doing damage.

Pardon me if I don’t use what CPS does or does not have time to investigate as my standard for whether or not to abuse children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Five kids. All adults. We never hit our kids.

It means nothing. You did not spank (or hit as you term it) your kids, but you could be emotional abusive like some non-spanking people.