Do you spank your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do spank. Never out of anger, however. I think that's the key- like PP said, there are a few things that are an automatic spanking in our house. Like any consequence, the kids KNOW why they are being spanked, and we discuss the issue before and after the correction. Hugs, kisses, and reflection on how we can do better next time. And then it's done, and we move on. No different than other consequences.

I am not a fan of the impromptu whack on the butt stuff.

Just to push your thinking here a bit, would you be okay if your kids hit someone even if it wasn't out of anger? If you have a discussion about why they are being spanked, it seems reasonable to leave it at that. I was hit/spanked by my mother and it's never a good thing to see your parent so out of control. It completely change our relationship, for the worse.

If my kids decided that they, as parents, will use spanking as a disciplinary measure, I AM okay with that.

What if they decide that corporal punishment is sometimes necessary to discipline the elderly when they lose the ability to reason? Will you be OK with that?

Of course not! They are not in a position of authority of the elderly, and their job is not to raise the elders to be good, moral people.

Enough with the fallacious analogies. They make no sense.

[Anonymous]

No, we don't spank. I haven't read the whole thread, but one's view on this issue is highly correlated to their socioeconomic background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, we don't spank. I haven't read the whole thread, but one's view on this issue is highly correlated to their socioeconomic background.

Mostly race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, we don't spank. I haven't read the whole thread, but one's view on this issue is highly correlated to their socioeconomic background.

Yes, and we all know how the children of the affluent set the example in terms of behavior and discipline. LOL!

[Anonymous]

If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

Not the point. Mandated reporters are required to report - they are are not required to prove that there is abuse happening first. CPS will decide whether to investigate or not. A call from a mandated reporter does not automatically mean CPS will investigate.

I've called for a student saying his father hit him across the face multiple times, another had a black eye and said her mom punched her in the face, etc. It is not my job to investigate and prove whether or not there is actual abuse going on, just to call CPS and then they decide if they need to investigate or not. Out of all the times I've called CPS investigated three times (out of about 6 calls).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

Not the point. Mandated reporters are required to report - they are are not required to prove that there is abuse happening first. CPS will decide whether to investigate or not. A call from a mandated reporter does not automatically mean CPS will investigate.

I've called for a student saying his father hit him across the face multiple times, another had a black eye and said her mom punched her in the face, etc. It is not my job to investigate and prove whether or not there is actual abuse going on, just to call CPS and then they decide if they need to investigate or not. Out of all the times I've called CPS investigated three times (out of about 6 calls).

So, you wouldn't ask the child if the parent spanked him on the bottom with an open hand before calling CPS? I think that is certainly over reacting and wasting CPS's time. Kids will exaggerate and say things that aren't true. If you work with kids, you should know that. We don't need a nanny state. This is part of the reason that parents are afraid to discipline their kids, and look where that's gotten us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

Not the point. Mandated reporters are required to report - they are are not required to prove that there is abuse happening first. CPS will decide whether to investigate or not. A call from a mandated reporter does not automatically mean CPS will investigate.

I've called for a student saying his father hit him across the face multiple times, another had a black eye and said her mom punched her in the face, etc. It is not my job to investigate and prove whether or not there is actual abuse going on, just to call CPS and then they decide if they need to investigate or not. Out of all the times I've called CPS investigated three times (out of about 6 calls).

So, you wouldn't ask the child if the parent spanked him on the bottom with an open hand before calling CPS? I think that is certainly over reacting and wasting CPS's time. Kids will exaggerate and say things that aren't true. If you work with kids, you should know that. We don't need a nanny state. This is part of the reason that parents are afraid to discipline their kids, and look where that's gotten us.

Asking potentially leading questions can cause the child to inaccurately report what happened. For example, if I interrogated the girl with the black eye she might have changed her mind about what happened or thought it was wrong to tell me and tried to cover for herself and her parents. If that resulted in me not calling, a case of actual abuse would not have been reported or discovered.

Like I said - it's not the mandated reporters job to investigate, just report. They don't want reports slipping through the cracks because some egotistical person decided to interrogate the child first then decide not to call. CPS takes the report, decides whether or not it needs to be investigated. Getting a call from a mandated reporter does not automatically mean the family will be investigated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

Not the point. Mandated reporters are required to report - they are are not required to prove that there is abuse happening first. CPS will decide whether to investigate or not. A call from a mandated reporter does not automatically mean CPS will investigate.

I've called for a student saying his father hit him across the face multiple times, another had a black eye and said her mom punched her in the face, etc. It is not my job to investigate and prove whether or not there is actual abuse going on, just to call CPS and then they decide if they need to investigate or not. Out of all the times I've called CPS investigated three times (out of about 6 calls).

So, you wouldn't ask the child if the parent spanked him on the bottom with an open hand before calling CPS? I think that is certainly over reacting and wasting CPS's time. Kids will exaggerate and say things that aren't true. If you work with kids, you should know that. We don't need a nanny state. This is part of the reason that parents are afraid to discipline their kids, and look where that's gotten us.

Asking potentially leading questions can cause the child to inaccurately report what happened. For example, if I interrogated the girl with the black eye she might have changed her mind about what happened or thought it was wrong to tell me and tried to cover for herself and her parents. If that resulted in me not calling, a case of actual abuse would not have been reported or discovered.

Like I said - it's not the mandated reporters job to investigate, just report. They don't want reports slipping through the cracks because some egotistical person decided to interrogate the child first then decide not to call. CPS takes the report, decides whether or not it needs to be investigated. Getting a call from a mandated reporter does not automatically mean the family will be investigated.

I should add - I have had a student tell me that they were spanked and I did not call CPS. "My mom spanked me" is very different from "my mom punched me in the face" or "my dad hits me a lot over the face when he's mad" or in one call that I made "my dad comes into my bedroom at night and kisses me and we play vampire. my mom isn't allowed to play vampire but my dad can"

There are some seriously fucked up things that kids say. Our job is to listen to it, take it to the school counselor if in doubt, and call if needed. Our job is not to investigate and discover abuse then let CPS know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child tells a mandatory reporter that you hit him, then the mandatory reporter is required to report it.

• child tells you that they have been hit but you seen no marks that were left: Mandated reporters do not have the role of determining whether suspected abuse is founded or not, that is the job of CPS. It’s best to take the child’s words as true and report the disclosure unless you have concrete evidence that they are fabricated.

Oh that's good. Waste CPS's time investigating a spanking, or some kids walking to the park by themselves, when there are truly horrible neglect and child abuses cases out there that desperately need CPS's time and attention.

Not the point. Mandated reporters are required to report - they are are not required to prove that there is abuse happening first. CPS will decide whether to investigate or not. A call from a mandated reporter does not automatically mean CPS will investigate.

I've called for a student saying his father hit him across the face multiple times, another had a black eye and said her mom punched her in the face, etc. It is not my job to investigate and prove whether or not there is actual abuse going on, just to call CPS and then they decide if they need to investigate or not. Out of all the times I've called CPS investigated three times (out of about 6 calls).

So, you wouldn't ask the child if the parent spanked him on the bottom with an open hand before calling CPS? I think that is certainly over reacting and wasting CPS's time. Kids will exaggerate and say things that aren't true. If you work with kids, you should know that. We don't need a nanny state. This is part of the reason that parents are afraid to discipline their kids, and look where that's gotten us.

Asking potentially leading questions can cause the child to inaccurately report what happened. For example, if I interrogated the girl with the black eye she might have changed her mind about what happened or thought it was wrong to tell me and tried to cover for herself and her parents. If that resulted in me not calling, a case of actual abuse would not have been reported or discovered.

Like I said - it's not the mandated reporters job to investigate, just report. They don't want reports slipping through the cracks because some egotistical person decided to interrogate the child first then decide not to call. CPS takes the report, decides whether or not it needs to be investigated. Getting a call from a mandated reporter does not automatically mean the family will be investigated.

I should add - I have had a student tell me that they were spanked and I did not call CPS. "My mom spanked me" is very different from "my mom punched me in the face" or "my dad hits me a lot over the face when he's mad" or in one call that I made "my dad comes into my bedroom at night and kisses me and we play vampire. my mom isn't allowed to play vampire but my dad can"

There are some seriously fucked up things that kids say. Our job is to listen to it, take it to the school counselor if in doubt, and call if needed. Our job is not to investigate and discover abuse then let CPS know.

OK, that's all I was saying... that if the kid said he was spanked, that's not cause to call cps. I agree, if the kid said he was punched, yea, absolutely call cps. But if the kid said, "my dad hit me", I would still think you can ask where did dad hit him. I don't think that's a leading question.

[Anonymous]

I don't hit anyone when I am angry.

[Anonymous]

No. I find it's pretty damn lazy and really hurts (my, most) kids emotionally in unnecessary ways. I do get mad at my kids, though, and I sometimes yell at them when I am really over the top annoyed. I wouldn't encourage yelling as a parenting strategy, either -- it's a weakness and a fault in my approach to discipline and behavior management. I tend to fall on it when time is of the essence and a kid is not cooperating (e.g., Mommy needs to get out the door, kid is dawdling seemingly without end; we're required to be someplace that requires good behavior, and kid is yelling or running around) and I can't think of anything more effective at the moment.

[Anonymous]

A lot of men get a sexual satisfaction when spanking their kids. It's an excuse that it's for the kids to learn. It's for men to get their jollies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand now. The people posting that agree with spanking are white Republicans from the South who are born again Christians.

http://fivethirtyeight.com/datalab/americans-opinions-on-spanking-vary-by-party-race-region-and-religion/

You apparently didn't read your own article. Support for spankings is still 65% among non born again Christians. The demographic that uses it the most is African Americans, not born again Christians. Over half of Democrats support it, as does over half of those living in the Northeast.

I think you just like to stereotype people.