It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for those who never had kids, I think they missed out on the importance stuff. I woukd it do it all over again, maybe even more kids.

People who choose not to have kids are making the best decision for themselves. Feeling sorry is such a strange reaction. I would only feel sad for someone who really wanted kids but for whatever reason it didn’t happen.

That PP is saying she feels sorry for DINKS because the PP is insecure about her own choices.

In fact, this entire thread is full of mothers who are insecure about their life choices. Screaming that you feel bad for childfree people and that childfree women aren’t contributing to the world is just so incredibly stupid and misogynistic. It’s embarrassingly transparent.

[NP; this is my first and only post in this thread]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

No, I don't. Having children is the most meaningful thing you can do in life- really the only thing that makes a life meaningful. And given that my children have my full love and dedication, unlike the children of working mothers, my life is even more meaningful than most people's. I get that you don't understand if you're a working mother- that's okay. I would never say this to people like you in real life. I would just silently pity you, and try to say encouraging things to you when you talk about your work so you don't feel so bad about the choices you've made to have other women raise your life's most precious gifts.

Not all women who want children are able to have them. And not all women who want to stay home with their children can afford to; in fact, most cannot.

Why not count your blessings/be grateful for your good fortune instead of being smug and judgmental?

Oh, I'm only smug and judgemental to mirror the many posters in this thread who've written that the lives of people without kids are meaningless. If you expand all the previous posts in this specific quote thread, you'll see I only repeated exactly what the first quoted poster said, but made the "meaningless life" targets working mothers instead of people without children.

I don't think stay-at-home moms have more meaningful lives than working moms, just like I don't think the lives of women with kids are more meaningful than women without kids.

And I'm not the "no Gerber here" poster, even though she responded to a post directed at me, but notice how her post now has many responses about how the lives of moms who don't work are empty and don't contribute anything to the world.

It's interesting that everyone's fine tearing down those whose lifestyles differ from theirs, but the hit dogs start absolutely hollering when the exact same talking points are turned on "people like them."

[Anonymous]

Why oh why, would a person with no kids come here to post about how great it is and how all her friends with kids envy her.

Isn't there a Shakespeare line about a lady protesting too much?

Extra lol to the childless PPs who are offended by the responses she received.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why oh why, would a person with no kids come here to post about how great it is and how all her friends with kids envy her.

Isn't there a Shakespeare line about a lady protesting too much?

Extra lol to the childless PPs who are offended by the responses she received.

Wouldn't "protesting too much" certainly also apply to the posters who say that they pity coworkers who aren't parents, so much so that they feel the need to give the coworkers covert encouragement about being childless even though the topic at hand isn't at all related to kids- it's about vacation plans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

Not OP but also married with no kids. Why do you feel bad for me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

We don't have any tvs in the house, so I don't watch soap operas. I exercise, read, plan our travels (we take at least two international trip with kids each year), I cook from scratch (my kids never ate Gerber baby food or any other jarred food). My kids are in high school, college and after college now and I contributed amazing healthy (no mental or physical health issues) human beings to this society. Don't feel guilty at all. Feel very proud of them.

Plan your "travels"?

It's so hard to tell whether or not this poster is a troll...

Look you have your 9-5 but you have no idea how much time it takes to plan two international trips per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for those who never had kids, I think they missed out on the importance stuff. I woukd it do it all over again, maybe even more kids.

People who choose not to have kids are making the best decision for themselves. Feeling sorry is such a strange reaction. I would only feel sad for someone who really wanted kids but for whatever reason it didn’t happen.

That PP is saying she feels sorry for DINKS because the PP is insecure about her own choices.

In fact, this entire thread is full of mothers who are insecure about their life choices. Screaming that you feel bad for childfree people and that childfree women aren’t contributing to the world is just so incredibly stupid and misogynistic. It’s embarrassingly transparent.

[NP; this is my first and only post in this thread]

+1

I have kids because I have a lot of help. Without it, I wouldn’t have had them. This thread is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

We don't have any tvs in the house, so I don't watch soap operas. I exercise, read, plan our travels (we take at least two international trip with kids each year), I cook from scratch (my kids never ate Gerber baby food or any other jarred food). My kids are in high school, college and after college now and I contributed amazing healthy (no mental or physical health issues) human beings to this society. Don't feel guilty at all. Feel very proud of them.

Plan your "travels"?

It's so hard to tell whether or not this poster is a troll...

Look you have your 9-5 but you have no idea how much time it takes to plan two international trips per year.

Damn you, Poe's Law!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why oh why, would a person with no kids come here to post about how great it is and how all her friends with kids envy her.

Isn't there a Shakespeare line about a lady protesting too much?

Extra lol to the childless PPs who are offended by the responses she received.

Wouldn't "protesting too much" certainly also apply to the posters who say that they pity coworkers who aren't parents, so much so that they feel the need to give the coworkers covert encouragement about being childless even though the topic at hand isn't at all related to kids- it's about vacation plans?

No, because this thread is about OPs experience with exactly that and her asking do they really mean it.

The answer is yes, I also sometimes say stuff like that but don't mean it, while secretly thinking how much my coworker doesn't know, but I would really like a break sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for those who never had kids, I think they missed out on the importance stuff. I woukd it do it all over again, maybe even more kids.

People who choose not to have kids are making the best decision for themselves. Feeling sorry is such a strange reaction. I would only feel sad for someone who really wanted kids but for whatever reason it didn’t happen.

That PP is saying she feels sorry for DINKS because the PP is insecure about her own choices.

In fact, this entire thread is full of mothers who are insecure about their life choices. Screaming that you feel bad for childfree people and that childfree women aren’t contributing to the world is just so incredibly stupid and misogynistic. It’s embarrassingly transparent.

[NP; this is my first and only post in this thread]

I think childless people are usually aware that people feel bad for them and that they don’t think they are making the right choice. Childless people hear these tropes from naggy relatives etc all the time. It’s not fair and not grounded in reality if the childless person is happy with their choice but it’s disingenuous to pretend that that sentiment isn’t out there.

Unlike the naggy relatives asking “what do you mean you aren’t having kids?!” friends are trying to be supportive and positive even if they feel you are missing out.

I know this feels unkind but I don’t think most posters are lying when they say they enjoy parenthood and feel bad for their childless peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for those who never had kids, I think they missed out on the importance stuff. I woukd it do it all over again, maybe even more kids.

People who choose not to have kids are making the best decision for themselves. Feeling sorry is such a strange reaction. I would only feel sad for someone who really wanted kids but for whatever reason it didn’t happen.

Except they don't know what they are missing. They think they do, but they don't, and can't ever know. I wouldn't have known before kids. I know what thet are missing now, and yeah, I feel pretty sorry for them. I really do.

Ok what are childless people missing that they haven’t considered in their decision-making process? What is this big secret about parenthood that is completely unknown until you become a parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

We don't have any tvs in the house, so I don't watch soap operas. I exercise, read, plan our travels (we take at least two international trip with kids each year), I cook from scratch (my kids never ate Gerber baby food or any other jarred food). My kids are in high school, college and after college now and I contributed amazing healthy (no mental or physical health issues) human beings to this society. Don't feel guilty at all. Feel very proud of them.

Plan your "travels"?

It's so hard to tell whether or not this poster is a troll...

Look you have your 9-5 but you have no idea how much time it takes to plan two international trips per year.

This has to be a joke. I have two kids and have never spent more than a few hours planning travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for those who never had kids, I think they missed out on the importance stuff. I woukd it do it all over again, maybe even more kids.

People who choose not to have kids are making the best decision for themselves. Feeling sorry is such a strange reaction. I would only feel sad for someone who really wanted kids but for whatever reason it didn’t happen.

That PP is saying she feels sorry for DINKS because the PP is insecure about her own choices.

In fact, this entire thread is full of mothers who are insecure about their life choices. Screaming that you feel bad for childfree people and that childfree women aren’t contributing to the world is just so incredibly stupid and misogynistic. It’s embarrassingly transparent.

[NP; this is my first and only post in this thread]

I think childless people are usually aware that people feel bad for them and that they don’t think they are making the right choice. Childless people hear these tropes from naggy relatives etc all the time. It’s not fair and not grounded in reality if the childless person is happy with their choice but it’s disingenuous to pretend that that sentiment isn’t out there.

Unlike the naggy relatives asking “what do you mean you aren’t having kids?!” friends are trying to be supportive and positive even if they feel you are missing out.

I know this feels unkind but I don’t think most posters are lying when they say they enjoy parenthood and feel bad for their childless peers.

No, those kinds of people are any different than busybody relatives if they're thinking about how much they pity their childless friends when the topic of conversation is vacation plans- nothing to do with reproductive choices.

When a gay friend says he just started seeing a new guy who seems promising, do you tell him you're excited for him while secretly thinking you're sorry he'll never be able to create a biological child with that guy like you can with your spouse?

Because that's how far the leap in logic is. I'm happy with my choice to have kids, and when I talk to people who aren't parents, I'm not secretly thinking of how much I pity them, especially when they're not expressing regret over having kids or when the topic has nothing to do with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Choosing to not have kids is certainly a choice one can make, and many more seem to be making. It’s working out great in Japan and Korea. Adults there seem to be very content and happy, and their countries seem to be progressing towards clean and depopulated eco-paradises. A lifetime of brunches, travel, and hobbies sure sounds great and very fulfilling.

Soooooo who is going to serve brunch in this depopulated ecoparadise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for people without children. I really do. But I will never ever reveal my thoughts in any way. Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, I wish we could just head off to Europe like you" but know that I am just blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good. Inside I feel pity for you.

I feel sorry for working mothers. I really do. But I will never reveal my thoughts in anyway, unlike Harrison Butker, although I wholly agree with him.

Instead, I will say something like, "oh wow, congratulations in your promotion! I wish I had a high-powered career like you" but know that I am blowing smoke up your a-s trying to make you feel good for choosing to have your children raised by other women. Inside I feel pity for you.

Don't you ever feel guilty about not contributing to your family or society at-large? How many soap operas and daytime talk shows can you really watch while your kids are at school before the weight of your choices sinks in?

We don't have any tvs in the house, so I don't watch soap operas. I exercise, read, plan our travels (we take at least two international trip with kids each year), I cook from scratch (my kids never ate Gerber baby food or any other jarred food). My kids are in high school, college and after college now and I contributed amazing healthy (no mental or physical health issues) human beings to this society. Don't feel guilty at all. Feel very proud of them.

Plan your "travels"?

It's so hard to tell whether or not this poster is a troll...

Look you have your 9-5 but you have no idea how much time it takes to plan two international trips per year.

This has to be a joke. I have two kids and have never spent more than a few hours planning travel.

If you had literally nothing else going on in your life, I bet you'd spend more time than that.