my husband's mother hit my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad that people are really arguing for keeping a grandma from her grandkid. My mom is the most gentle and kind person ever, but grew up in a culture where giving swats was a thing (and where people who were swat as kids do grow up to be kind and productive members of society). My mom would swat us as kids (never hard) but just as a way of saying "no." I made it very clear that we don't do that today with kids in the US and she has never swat my dd, but sometimes older people need to learn these things, especially when they come from different cultures.

And yet, somehow your mom has learned this without having to hit your child first. So it's not some sort of "coming of age in the USA" or some shit, clearly it's possible. Why are we giving violence a pass just because it's some old person?

Calling swatting "violence" is exactly the kind of catastrophizing and extremist language that makes me sad on behalf of society today.

+1000 Language is being weaponized.

+1 the over reaction and hyper snowflakeness of younger people are creating a bunch of people with no resilience and being too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad that people are really arguing for keeping a grandma from her grandkid. My mom is the most gentle and kind person ever, but grew up in a culture where giving swats was a thing (and where people who were swat as kids do grow up to be kind and productive members of society). My mom would swat us as kids (never hard) but just as a way of saying "no." I made it very clear that we don't do that today with kids in the US and she has never swat my dd, but sometimes older people need to learn these things, especially when they come from different cultures.

And yet, somehow your mom has learned this without having to hit your child first. So it's not some sort of "coming of age in the USA" or some shit, clearly it's possible. Why are we giving violence a pass just because it's some old person?

Sounds like OP and her husband should have been more proactive in education MIL about their preferences regarding physical discipline.

More than likely, the grandmother swatted the DH when he was a kid. I assume he turned out to be normal, otherwise OP's judgement would be in question, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the pro-hitting people good if it’s a stranger? A teacher? Where’s the line on this permissiveness to hit children?

really? How dumb are you? Would you be ok with a total stranger at the park scolding your child and putting them in a time out and the naughty chair?

This is like saying punching a kid in the face is the same as swatting a kid on the butt.

As someone who was actually abused as a kid, your comparisons are offensive and ridiculous.

A teacher can absolutely give my kid a time out. But if a teacher laid a finger on my child I would immediately pursue legal action. Because no one can hit my kid— including me.

So for the pro-hitters, again, can a teacher hit your kid? If not why not?

[Anonymous]

I don’t hit, swat or pop my kids but if my kid was defiant to an elder and kicking at them I would be furious with them and not upset at the person’s reaction.

They would also be punished by me.

OP- why on earth do you think your kid acted like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad that people are really arguing for keeping a grandma from her grandkid. My mom is the most gentle and kind person ever, but grew up in a culture where giving swats was a thing (and where people who were swat as kids do grow up to be kind and productive members of society). My mom would swat us as kids (never hard) but just as a way of saying "no." I made it very clear that we don't do that today with kids in the US and she has never swat my dd, but sometimes older people need to learn these things, especially when they come from different cultures.

And yet, somehow your mom has learned this without having to hit your child first. So it's not some sort of "coming of age in the USA" or some shit, clearly it's possible. Why are we giving violence a pass just because it's some old person?

Calling swatting "violence" is exactly the kind of catastrophizing and extremist language that makes me sad on behalf of society today.

+1000 Language is being weaponized.

+1 the over reaction and hyper snowflakeness of younger people are creating a bunch of people with no resilience and being too sensitive.

And yet the ones shooting up schools are not those snowflakes, funny how that works

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t hit, swat or pop my kids but if my kid was defiant to an elder and kicking at them I would be furious with them and not upset at the person’s reaction.

They would also be punished by me.

OP- why on earth do you think your kid acted like that?

OP is not responding but I would guess the kid didn't want to go. Dilemma: stay home with kid or make them go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad that people are really arguing for keeping a grandma from her grandkid. My mom is the most gentle and kind person ever, but grew up in a culture where giving swats was a thing (and where people who were swat as kids do grow up to be kind and productive members of society). My mom would swat us as kids (never hard) but just as a way of saying "no." I made it very clear that we don't do that today with kids in the US and she has never swat my dd, but sometimes older people need to learn these things, especially when they come from different cultures.

And yet, somehow your mom has learned this without having to hit your child first. So it's not some sort of "coming of age in the USA" or some shit, clearly it's possible. Why are we giving violence a pass just because it's some old person?

Sounds like OP and her husband should have been more proactive in education MIL about their preferences regarding physical discipline.

More than likely, the grandmother swatted the DH when he was a kid. I assume he turned out to be normal, otherwise OP's judgement would be in question, too.

Actually, the extremists on this thread would probably argue that OP and her child are unwitting victims of DH's family's generational violence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad that people are really arguing for keeping a grandma from her grandkid. My mom is the most gentle and kind person ever, but grew up in a culture where giving swats was a thing (and where people who were swat as kids do grow up to be kind and productive members of society). My mom would swat us as kids (never hard) but just as a way of saying "no." I made it very clear that we don't do that today with kids in the US and she has never swat my dd, but sometimes older people need to learn these things, especially when they come from different cultures.

And yet, somehow your mom has learned this without having to hit your child first. So it's not some sort of "coming of age in the USA" or some shit, clearly it's possible. Why are we giving violence a pass just because it's some old person?

Calling swatting "violence" is exactly the kind of catastrophizing and extremist language that makes me sad on behalf of society today.

+1000 Language is being weaponized.

+1 the over reaction and hyper snowflakeness of younger people are creating a bunch of people with no resilience and being too sensitive.

So you're ok with a teacher, librarian, police officer, fast food worker, crossing guard, etc "swatting" your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t hit, swat or pop my kids but if my kid was defiant to an elder and kicking at them I would be furious with them and not upset at the person’s reaction.

They would also be punished by me.

OP- why on earth do you think your kid acted like that?

Apparently the kid wanted to wear flip-flops not sneakers. Perhaps the child has sensory issues. I think an evaluation by a child psychologist or developmental pediatrician would be helpful. OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the pro-hitting people good if it’s a stranger? A teacher? Where’s the line on this permissiveness to hit children?

really? How dumb are you? Would you be ok with a total stranger at the park scolding your child and putting them in a time out and the naughty chair?

This is like saying punching a kid in the face is the same as swatting a kid on the butt.

As someone who was actually abused as a kid, your comparisons are offensive and ridiculous.

A teacher can absolutely give my kid a time out. But if a teacher laid a finger on my child I would immediately pursue legal action. Because no one can hit my kid— including me.

So for the pro-hitters, again, can a teacher hit your kid? If not why not?

that's not what you said? You said "Are the pro-hitting people good if it’s a stranger?", and yes, you included "teacher", but you started with stranger.

Teachers aren't family members. A grand"parent" can help raise a child. If OP doesn't want her MIL to raise her child, then don't have her babysit. Simple.

But, IMO OP is making a big deal out of something that's really not that big of a deal in terms of that child's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

Not hard

Your kid was acting up

On the leg

He spoke up

You weren’t coming to discipline him anyways.


All sounds good now to me. Let’s see if natural consequences works for your brat or if he continues to act up around other adults and “give them a hard time.”

Maybe forcing grandma to apologize for parenting your kid will further empower his spoilt brat behavior with houseguests?

That or this is yet another TROLL post

[Anonymous]

She wasn’t babysitting.

You were sitting in the other room. Likely doing nothing, maybe fondling your iPhone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This makes me sad that people are really arguing for keeping a grandma from her grandkid. My mom is the most gentle and kind person ever, but grew up in a culture where giving swats was a thing (and where people who were swat as kids do grow up to be kind and productive members of society). My mom would swat us as kids (never hard) but just as a way of saying "no." I made it very clear that we don't do that today with kids in the US and she has never swat my dd, but sometimes older people need to learn these things, especially when they come from different cultures.

And yet, somehow your mom has learned this without having to hit your child first. So it's not some sort of "coming of age in the USA" or some shit, clearly it's possible. Why are we giving violence a pass just because it's some old person?

Calling swatting "violence" is exactly the kind of catastrophizing and extremist language that makes me sad on behalf of society today.

+1000 Language is being weaponized.

+1 the over reaction and hyper snowflakeness of younger people are creating a bunch of people with no resilience and being too sensitive.

So you're ok with a teacher, librarian, police officer, fast food worker, crossing guard, etc "swatting" your kid?

I'm ok with grandparents disciplining my kid. Not strangers or non family members.

Do you expect the teacher to parent your kids? Do you treat the like family.

You people have completely lost the plot. You think a grandparent is like a teacher or a fast food worker. gtfo, and go seek therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the pro-hitting people good if it’s a stranger? A teacher? Where’s the line on this permissiveness to hit children?

really? How dumb are you? Would you be ok with a total stranger at the park scolding your child and putting them in a time out and the naughty chair?

This is like saying punching a kid in the face is the same as swatting a kid on the butt.

As someone who was actually abused as a kid, your comparisons are offensive and ridiculous.

A teacher can absolutely give my kid a time out. But if a teacher laid a finger on my child I would immediately pursue legal action. Because no one can hit my kid— including me.

So for the pro-hitters, again, can a teacher hit your kid? If not why not?

that's not what you said? You said "Are the pro-hitting people good if it’s a stranger?", and yes, you included "teacher", but you started with stranger.

Teachers aren't family members. A grand"parent" can help raise a child. If OP doesn't want her MIL to raise her child, then don't have her babysit. Simple.

But, IMO OP is making a big deal out of something that's really not that big of a deal in terms of that child's life.

This is literally the option she's considering, why are you still sh*tting on her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

Not hard

Your kid was acting up

On the leg

He spoke up

You weren’t coming to discipline him anyways.


All sounds good now to me. Let’s see if natural consequences works for your brat or if he continues to act up around other adults and “give them a hard time.”

Maybe forcing grandma to apologize for parenting your kid will further empower his spoilt brat behavior with houseguests?

That or this is yet another TROLL post

Another troll who doesnt understand "natural consequences".