my husband's mother hit my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

I hope you are seriously joking. Otherwise, you are the one with mental issues.

A child being swatted on the leg once or twice does not equate to "cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society". You have to be f*n kidding.

And I say this as someone who was actually abused, like slapped on the face numerous times, picked up by my hair. I'm a "normal" (whatever that means) productive member of society. I sit in the PTA, lead Scouts, work (six figure job), and pay taxes ( a lot). I'm pretty sure I'm a productive member of society.

To OP, you are over reacting. They apologized. Move on. I'm pretty sure you've had parenting failures at one point or another. Your kid won't even remember the swat when they are older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

So you do gentle parenting? This is the result. Your DC is a brat and no one, but you, can deal with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:is she not your mother-in-law?

is she not also OP's husband's mother? Who cares what terminology you use?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

So you do gentle parenting? This is the result. Your DC is a brat and no one, but you, can deal with him.

I'm curious what OP does when their kid doesn't listen and gives OP a hard time. Like, let's say your kid refuses to put their shoes on to go to school. What would OP do?

What was the kid refusing to do exactly?

[Anonymous]

Based on what you describe, I would move on and I would talk to your kid and tell him if anything like that ever happens again when you are not present with ANY caregiver or adult in his life, he should tell you immediately.

She took responsibility and apologized immediately (which is great role modeling for your son). It was a swat on the leg in a moment of frustration. Assuming you generally find her to be a good person, those are the main factors that would make me move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

This. You are definitely NOT being dramatic about a swat on the leg. Tell that awful woman to save her apologies for when she’s visiting your ruined son in prison someday.

Both of these posters are either being sarcastic or are insane. She didn’t beat him with a stick or a belt, jeez, the kid won’t remember it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

Your child is a little sh!t witb absolutely no respect for his elders and you did that.
And I’d be faaarr more concerned than you seem to be about what kind of behavior you allow from your kid (with you in earshot, even!) that he can get to the point in interaction with his grandmother that she is so annoyed and frustrated that her instinct is to swat him to compel him to stop.

You should be far more embarrassed than you are angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

Oh hell no. What would have happened if you weren't right there in the other room? Would she have apologized to your son? Would she have told you about it and apologized to you later? Would she have called you and said "I'm so frustrated I can't handle your son. I need you to come home right now." Would it have escalated/would she have hit him harder or more aggressively if you weren't there?

Essentially, I'm wondering if she hit him with you right there within earshot (likely knowing full well this is not OK with you), what would she possibly do when you and your DH are not there?

No, she would not be babysitting for my kid(s) again at all nor would I leave my kids alone w/ her ever. I'm not kidding. That is f'ed up. And your DH sucks for not also being upset about this and not backing you up.

[Anonymous]

Poor Grandma having to deal with the child when OP won't. Keep your ill behaved brat from bothering the grandmother. Parent him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

This. You are definitely NOT being dramatic about a swat on the leg. Tell that awful woman to save her apologies for when she’s visiting your ruined son in prison someday.

Both of these posters are either being sarcastic or are insane. She didn’t beat him with a stick or a belt, jeez, the kid won’t remember it

Its called boundaries. And its a hit on the leg now, next time what if kid talks back and grammy slaps them in the mouth? As a parent your job is to protect your children. Letting someone hit them because they were in a moment of frustration is not doing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

You are over reacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not hard. My son was refusing to do something and giving her a hard time. She essentially spanked him on his leg. He didn't even cry- just yelled out "Ow! Don't hit me, Grammy!". I ran in from the other room and she admitted it right away. She said that she was really frustrated and apologized to both my son and me. I am SO angry but my husband is shrugging it off. He thinks I am being dramatic. I don't want her to babysit anymore. WWYD?

Oh hell no. What would have happened if you weren't right there in the other room? Would she have apologized to your son? Would she have told you about it and apologized to you later? Would she have called you and said "I'm so frustrated I can't handle your son. I need you to come home right now." Would it have escalated/would she have hit him harder or more aggressively if you weren't there?

Essentially, I'm wondering if she hit him with you right there within earshot (likely knowing full well this is not OK with you), what would she possibly do when you and your DH are not there?

No, she would not be babysitting for my kid(s) again at all nor would I leave my kids alone w/ her ever. I'm not kidding. That is f'ed up. And your DH sucks for not also being upset about this and not backing you up.

I agree with the bolded.

Shocking what some parents will allow to happen to their children just for free babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Discipline is supposed to be used to teach the kid. Hitting a kid teaches them nothing and is simply a sign of poor management of emotions. I get frustrated w/ my kids all the time but I have other tools I can use to correct their behavior. This granny is ill-equipped to care for a young child if her only tool to deal w/ bad behavior is to use physical violence.