my husband's mother hit my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

This. You are definitely NOT being dramatic about a swat on the leg. Tell that awful woman to save her apologies for when she’s visiting your ruined son in prison someday.

Both of these posters are either being sarcastic or are insane. She didn’t beat him with a stick or a belt, jeez, the kid won’t remember it

Its called boundaries. And its a hit on the leg now, next time what if kid talks back and grammy slaps them in the mouth? As a parent your job is to protect your children. Letting someone hit them because they were in a moment of frustration is not doing this.

You are leaping and also being overly dramatic. I think some of you women are complete drama queens.

I would not be happy if this happened, but they apologized, and they knew how upset you were. They also were probably upset at themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

You are over reacting.

Then its a good thing you are not my DH or MIL. I feel bad for your child if you allow any rando to smack them if they feel slightly frustrated.

[Anonymous]

A swat on the leg doesn’t seem like a big deal to me, so I would accept the apology and move on. But I would not use her to babysit because she seems overwhelmed, maybe wait until your son is older and better behaved.

You have presumedly seen her interact with your kid many many times - does she seem like the type where this has happened before or will happen again? Or truly a one time thing? Using violence as punishment would be an absolute no for me, but I have definitely gotten frustrated and swatted my kids before.

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you come running when your kid wasn't listening the first time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

A time out, the naughty step, a swat, a spanking, these are all setting boundaries and teaching behavior. They are coercive, manipulative, and contrary to gentle parenting.

Which is more respectful? Teaching behavior? Or letting DC decide what to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

so you would deprive your child of their grandparent because of one mistake (and not a life altering one) they made? Yep, over reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any child who was physically struck cannot ever grow up to be a normal, productive member of society.

This. You are definitely NOT being dramatic about a swat on the leg. Tell that awful woman to save her apologies for when she’s visiting your ruined son in prison someday.

Both of these posters are either being sarcastic or are insane. She didn’t beat him with a stick or a belt, jeez, the kid won’t remember it

Its called boundaries. And its a hit on the leg now, next time what if kid talks back and grammy slaps them in the mouth? As a parent your job is to protect your children. Letting someone hit them because they were in a moment of frustration is not doing this.

You are leaping and also being overly dramatic. I think some of you women are complete drama queens.

I would not be happy if this happened, but they apologized, and they knew how upset you were. They also were probably upset at themselves.

Great that they were upset. Physical abuse has no place in the home, and absolutely not towards a child. I still wouldn't want someone with such a trigger to watch my child, at least not until I felt like I could absolutely trust MIL to follow my instructions. (I mean, how hard is "dont abuse my kid"????)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Discipline is supposed to be used to teach the kid. Hitting a kid teaches them nothing and is simply a sign of poor management of emotions. I get frustrated w/ my kids all the time but I have other tools I can use to correct their behavior. This granny is ill-equipped to care for a young child if her only tool to deal w/ bad behavior is to use physical violence.

This is a silly post - but at least you agree with the idea of correcting children's behavior, which OP apparently does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

so you would deprive your child of their grandparent because of one mistake (and not a life altering one) they made? Yep, over reaction.

Deprive? No, I said take a few months off and hiring a paid babysitter. You are overreacting to learning your actions having consequences apparently.

[Anonymous]

How would she respond if the kid did something worse than "refusing to do something and giving her a hard time"? What if the kid hit her, how would she respond? I have a feeling that if she is willing to hit the kid simply for them "refusing to do something" (which could just mean not following grandma's directions right away) and with OP/kid's mom within earshot in another room, what would grandma do if kid did something really awful and/or when mom isn't in the next room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you come running when your kid wasn't listening the first time?

OP didn't even hear it. Since she hears it all the time herself, so she tunes it out.

[Anonymous]

She raised your DH. Times were different back than. You are being dramatic, your kid sounds like a brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

You are over reacting.

Then its a good thing you are not my DH or MIL. I feel bad for your child if you allow any rando to smack them if they feel slightly frustrated.

this wasn't any rando. You are over reacting.

My kids are now teens and doing very well. One in college with merit. The other in HS taking AP exams this week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Discipline is supposed to be used to teach the kid. Hitting a kid teaches them nothing and is simply a sign of poor management of emotions. I get frustrated w/ my kids all the time but I have other tools I can use to correct their behavior. This granny is ill-equipped to care for a young child if her only tool to deal w/ bad behavior is to use physical violence.

This is a silly post - but at least you agree with the idea of correcting children's behavior, which OP apparently does not.

What is silly about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do NOT hit my child because you are frustrated.

Grammy gets a long time out. Find another babysitter for a month or two and maybe consider going back to her after that.

No, you shouldn't but the child isn't going to suffer for it. Some of you are seriously over reacting.

It doesnt matter. If MIL will not respect my child (and no, hitting is not respectful in any sense) or my parenting, they do not get access.

If you think spanking is great, cool for you. But the second you try and spank my kid is where you are out of line (not you specifically, the general you/likely boomer grandparent).

A time out works wonders in these circumstances, so long as the parent can afford alternate childcare. I know not all parents have the financial flexibility to do so though.

A time out, the naughty step, a swat, a spanking, these are all setting boundaries and teaching behavior. They are coercive, manipulative, and contrary to gentle parenting.

Which is more respectful? Teaching behavior? Or letting DC decide what to do?

Again, it doesnt matter. Hitting is clearly not respectful, please dont even try and say it is with this garbage. I'd hope anyone that says that is on some sort of watch list honestly.

If you cant handle a kid without smacking them, you should not be babysitting.