Do men really not care about a woman’s career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so confused. So in this thread all men say that they don't care if their wives make any money, as long as they are pretty and nice. Then why do you guys complain about paying alimony after the divorce? There are so many threads about men being angry about having to support the wife after the divorce, having to split the assets, the wife not wanting to work. Isn't this what you wanted?

No one goes into marriage thinking they will divorce.

If you ask men who you want to marry, it's pretty and nice and good in bed (of course, fun to be around, good conversation, all those things are also important).

If you ask men who they want to divorce, it's rich. That's it. Who cares if she's ugly and mean if you are divorcing her.

Not true. I married knowing divorce was a real risk. I should not have married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are both professionals, we make similar salaries and share the child care and household duties evenly. She would be terribly unhappy without her career and is a highly skilled professional. I support her and her career just as she supports me in mine. There are certainly some men who deep down just want a wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, but most of us have evolved beyond that.

having kids and taking care of a house is work. Anyone can see that which is why there are all these arguments. The problem is when there is still that work to do with the kids and a house and the man runs off with the money. Money, safety, and raising kids can't be divorced from each other.

I think what you mean is that they can be divorced from one another. That’s why a woman should not depend on a man to bring in the money.

I don't think monetized work needs to necessarily be split among genders but there has to be protection for the women and children and right now there just isn't enough. Prenups are going to become the norm. And spare me with the 50/50 split is the best for kids when one spouse wants to "live free" or "be addiction" or can't get their emotions and body in check to regulate themselves. They can't regulate themselves. There is no way they can raise children well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher, which is a profession that is routinely scorned on this site, and my dh doesn’t seem to care. He out-earns me, but we connect on a deep level. We’re friends and we have so much fun together.

I honestly do not think my husband views my career as a high school teacher as something embarrassing or less-than, though. I love my job and spend a great deal of time at home planning lessons, reading, and grading. I have overheard my husband boasting about an award I received and how good I am at my job. I am intelligent and well-read, and able to discuss politics and culture, etc, and my husband sometimes asks me to look over writing he does for his own (much higher paying) job. I don’t think my husband’s colleagues view me as less-than, either. Or maybe their wives are posting about me online, but I don’t care.

Yes, I’m physically attractive, but our marriage wouldn’t have lasted for so long if that was all he cared about. No, I don’t think he would have preferred a woman with a high status job who didn’t care about her personal appearance. DH and I run 10ks and half marathons together, and he doesn’t have much respect for couch potatoes (neither do I).

So in my case, my dh doesn’t care that I have a lower status job and he does appreciate value my interest in taking care of my body.

PS- I went to Harvard. Some people with jobs you consider to be low-status are intelligent.

I’d consider teaching high school a serious career.

Many people don’t.

I'm engaged to a teacher. His job is far more difficult and important than mine, yet I get asked why I would marry a man who makes less than I do. He's awesome and I don't see his job as "low status" at all. Plus, he's hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are both professionals, we make similar salaries and share the child care and household duties evenly. She would be terribly unhappy without her career and is a highly skilled professional. I support her and her career just as she supports me in mine. There are certainly some men who deep down just want a wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, but most of us have evolved beyond that.

Most men have not evolved past that..they want both…in the same person and it is an unreasonable expectation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher, which is a profession that is routinely scorned on this site, and my dh doesn’t seem to care. He out-earns me, but we connect on a deep level. We’re friends and we have so much fun together.

I honestly do not think my husband views my career as a high school teacher as something embarrassing or less-than, though. I love my job and spend a great deal of time at home planning lessons, reading, and grading. I have overheard my husband boasting about an award I received and how good I am at my job. I am intelligent and well-read, and able to discuss politics and culture, etc, and my husband sometimes asks me to look over writing he does for his own (much higher paying) job. I don’t think my husband’s colleagues view me as less-than, either. Or maybe their wives are posting about me online, but I don’t care.

Yes, I’m physically attractive, but our marriage wouldn’t have lasted for so long if that was all he cared about. No, I don’t think he would have preferred a woman with a high status job who didn’t care about her personal appearance. DH and I run 10ks and half marathons together, and he doesn’t have much respect for couch potatoes (neither do I).

So in my case, my dh doesn’t care that I have a lower status job and he does appreciate value my interest in taking care of my body.

PS- I went to Harvard. Some people with jobs you consider to be low-status are intelligent.

I’d consider teaching high school a serious career.

Many people don’t.

I'm engaged to a teacher. His job is far more difficult and important than mine, yet I get asked why I would marry a man who makes less than I do. He's awesome and I don't see his job as "low status" at all. Plus, he's hot.

Ah, adorbs. I had the same idealism when we got engaged, but then resent my DH as our lifestyle depends on my career advancing and I never get to see my kids. And by lifestyle I mean a SFH with good schools not in the sticks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are both professionals, we make similar salaries and share the child care and household duties evenly. She would be terribly unhappy without her career and is a highly skilled professional. I support her and her career just as she supports me in mine. There are certainly some men who deep down just want a wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, but most of us have evolved beyond that.

having kids and taking care of a house is work. Anyone can see that which is why there are all these arguments. The problem is when there is still that work to do with the kids and a house and the man runs off with the money. Money, safety, and raising kids can't be divorced from each other.

Yep - WOH mom here. It is hard, never ending, thankless work. This is why I think it's so unfair when Hs leave and the courts decide that a SAHM has max 2 years to get on her feet and start making $$$. Good luck trying to find a position that can allows survival in DC area after being out of work for 10+ years. What if you have teenagers and you want them to stay in the same schools? You need at least 3.5K to rent an old rancher in McLean High School.

Lol. "Your honor, I know my financial situation is going to deteriorate but I still deserve, at a minimum, to live in one of the most expensive ZIP Codes in the country!"

[Anonymous]

Back to the question at hand asides from all the handwringing about alimony and whether SAHMs have enough protection. Do men care about career. For high income men no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher, which is a profession that is routinely scorned on this site, and my dh doesn’t seem to care. He out-earns me, but we connect on a deep level. We’re friends and we have so much fun together.

I honestly do not think my husband views my career as a high school teacher as something embarrassing or less-than, though. I love my job and spend a great deal of time at home planning lessons, reading, and grading. I have overheard my husband boasting about an award I received and how good I am at my job. I am intelligent and well-read, and able to discuss politics and culture, etc, and my husband sometimes asks me to look over writing he does for his own (much higher paying) job. I don’t think my husband’s colleagues view me as less-than, either. Or maybe their wives are posting about me online, but I don’t care.

Yes, I’m physically attractive, but our marriage wouldn’t have lasted for so long if that was all he cared about. No, I don’t think he would have preferred a woman with a high status job who didn’t care about her personal appearance. DH and I run 10ks and half marathons together, and he doesn’t have much respect for couch potatoes (neither do I).

So in my case, my dh doesn’t care that I have a lower status job and he does appreciate value my interest in taking care of my body.

PS- I went to Harvard. Some people with jobs you consider to be low-status are intelligent.

I’d consider teaching high school a serious career.

Many people don’t.

I'm engaged to a teacher. His job is far more difficult and important than mine, yet I get asked why I would marry a man who makes less than I do. He's awesome and I don't see his job as "low status" at all. Plus, he's hot.

Ah, adorbs. I had the same idealism when we got engaged, but then resent my DH as our lifestyle depends on my career advancing and I never get to see my kids. And by lifestyle I mean a SFH with good schools not in the sticks.

+1 recuperating after pregnancy needs money. Kids need money. Money vs time spent away from the kids. Every mom I know, even working ones are always trying to figure out ways to spend more time. Money makes all this easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Statistically (you should never crowdsource from DCUM the insecure men are like ants) high achieving men have high achieving spouses. It’s called assortive mating. It is increasing in the past decade and it’s extremely unlikely to find a lawyer married to a waitress, no matter how attractive. Especially true in first marriages.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Economy dictates choices, it’s not possible for men without high income or family wealth to afford SHAMS, two income is a survival issue, not necessarily a preference. Lifestyle costs money, women also want better lifestyles and doesn’t want to face problems if marriage fails. Jobs also provide a source of daily adult interaction at work and conversation material at social events. It doesn’t make sense for women to sacrifice all that.

Another great comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Outside of television, well educated women are generally more attractive than less well educated women.

Look around next time you go to the doctor or the dentist. (One e you account for age) the most attractive woman there is the dentist or the doctor, not the receptionist.

This isn’t true at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically (you should never crowdsource from DCUM the insecure men are like ants) high achieving men have high achieving spouses. It’s called assortive mating. It is increasing in the past decade and it’s extremely unlikely to find a lawyer married to a waitress, no matter how attractive. Especially true in first marriages.

This

Assortive mating means two pre law students fall in love, or a pre law and a pre banker, or a doctor marries a businessman. Doesn’t mean the female remains a banker, post kid(s).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are both professionals, we make similar salaries and share the child care and household duties evenly. She would be terribly unhappy without her career and is a highly skilled professional. I support her and her career just as she supports me in mine. There are certainly some men who deep down just want a wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, but most of us have evolved beyond that.

having kids and taking care of a house is work. Anyone can see that which is why there are all these arguments. The problem is when there is still that work to do with the kids and a house and the man runs off with the money. Money, safety, and raising kids can't be divorced from each other.

Yep - WOH mom here. It is hard, never ending, thankless work. This is why I think it's so unfair when Hs leave and the courts decide that a SAHM has max 2 years to get on her feet and start making $$$. Good luck trying to find a position that can allows survival in DC area after being out of work for 10+ years. What if you have teenagers and you want them to stay in the same schools? You need at least 3.5K to rent an old rancher in McLean High School.

Lol. "Your honor, I know my financial situation is going to deteriorate but I still deserve, at a minimum, to live in one of the most expensive ZIP Codes in the country!"

It's for the kids, not her. Do you want the children to change schools in the middle of high school? And this point is very important to the question. Everyone says that for high income, which is 900K+ in DC area, doesn't matter, but for the everyday Joe in DC area this is important. IMO, if you want your wife to SAH, make sure you have the resources to maintain the same standard of living for the kids, in case the marriage dissolves. Let her keep the house so the kids can stay in the same schools and same neighborhood and make sure you can still pay the mortgage and your rental apartment, contribute to 529 etc. So many families barely maintain their living and, when a divorce happens, the kids suffer the most financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically (you should never crowdsource from DCUM the insecure men are like ants) high achieving men have high achieving spouses. It’s called assortive mating. It is increasing in the past decade and it’s extremely unlikely to find a lawyer married to a waitress, no matter how attractive. Especially true in first marriages.

This

Assortive mating means two pre law students fall in love, or a pre law and a pre banker, or a doctor marries a businessman. Doesn’t mean the female remains a banker, post kid(s).

But it does mean the garbage being spouted here about “men just want a hot waitress” or “you can be replaced by the barista” is just misogynistic garbage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are both professionals, we make similar salaries and share the child care and household duties evenly. She would be terribly unhappy without her career and is a highly skilled professional. I support her and her career just as she supports me in mine. There are certainly some men who deep down just want a wife barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, but most of us have evolved beyond that.

Most men have not evolved past that..they want both…in the same person and it is an unreasonable expectation.

LMAO at women thinking men have unreasonable expectations. Women (and especially women over 30) inevitably have a list of 3,257 Absolute Requirements that a man must have before she will consider a relationship with him. And the truly hilarious aspect is that her requirements are steadily increasing as her hotness is steadily decreasing.