Do men really not care about a woman’s career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

True but higher percentage of SAHM mom are prettier and get more men willing to marry them as it is, while plain women have to add additional value with degrees, career and income.

Lol no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All things being equal, I think well-educated men with good careers prefer to date/marry well-educated women with good careers. Attractiveness vs. career probably varies by person.

The bigger question isn't who they date/marry, though. It's what they do afterward. I think that for many men their ideal is a well-educated, high-earning woman whose career doesn't require any sacrifices on his part. See the thread about the woman whose spouse forgot to pick up their kid from aftercare because "he had a meeting", nevermind that the woman ended up having to cancel a meeting to rush over there.

DH and I are well-off enough that I can hire help to outsource a lot of household demands, but I've still actively chosen less-demanding roles partially because I know he won't fully step up. I've got enough of a unique skillset that I still make a high income, but I've turned down almost double to avoid our family life falling apart.

You are every educated upper middle class career oriented men’s dream women.

Yes, but I'm an extreme outlier who accidentally stumbled into a high-paying career, because I gained skills in grad school that later blew up in the job market. The bigger point is that men want something that's kind of impossible. Highly-educated, high-earning DW whose job doesn't really impact her ability to take care of the household.

Astonishingly, there are many resentful women on a board like DCUM which is full of highly-educated women.

I am that unicorn with the unicorn job. Both my spouse and I realized early on how good it was. It's getting easier to find with the way telework has taken off, along with job flexibility or more parental leave--like govt. actually paying 12 weeks of maternal leave (I had it unpaid.)

The ideal situation is a pretty woman making 250k a year in a flexible wfh job that doesn’t impact her ability to pick up kids at the bus stop. I know a couple women like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

True but higher percentage of SAHM mom are prettier and get more men willing to marry them as it is, while plain women have to add additional value with degrees, career and income.

They probably are at 45. They have a recent haircut, put together clothes, enough rest, and some time at the gym. Compared to your average WOHM, they look pretty good.
But not at 25-30 when you are dating and everyone has enough time for these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I don’t want a woman who could divorce me at the drop of a hot with no lifestyle repercussions for her.

That's all women. So, you don't want a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:certainly can't speak for others, but I married a beautiful, educated woman who has more degrees than I do, a career and who excels in a field which I barely understand. I am happy for her, proud of her and happy to be her partner. I support her career just as she supports mine, we work together to take care of the kids and the rest of life so that we can both pursue our careers as well. I would never marry someone who looked great but sat around all the time (or even worse was dumb as bricks). I want a partner and an equal, not a bimbo.

Nice job of simping, but nobody in this forum is going to sleep with you, bro.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

True but higher percentage of SAHM mom are prettier and get more men willing to marry them as it is, while plain women have to add additional value with degrees, career and income.

They probably are at 45. They have a recent haircut, put together clothes, enough rest, and some time at the gym. Compared to your average WOHM, they look pretty good.
But not at 25-30 when you are dating and everyone has enough time for these things.

Disagree. Women in my industry are overall very put together. At 45 in a senior position now, they can afford nicer hair cuts, skin care, manicures, nice clothes, personal trainer. It's more often lower income women or women who stay home without full access to the family's finances who can't afford help at home, nice clothes, beauty treatments, etc. that look worse at 45+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

True but higher percentage of SAHM mom are prettier and get more men willing to marry them as it is, while plain women have to add additional value with degrees, career and income.

They probably are at 45. They have a recent haircut, put together clothes, enough rest, and some time at the gym. Compared to your average WOHM, they look pretty good.
But not at 25-30 when you are dating and everyone has enough time for these things.

Disagree. Women in my industry are overall very put together. At 45 in a senior position now, they can afford nicer hair cuts, skin care, manicures, nice clothes, personal trainer. It's more often lower income women or women who stay home without full access to the family's finances who can't afford help at home, nice clothes, beauty treatments, etc. that look worse at 45+

Agree. Women in my industry need to keep up their looks.

[Anonymous]

My brother is a lawyer (went to an Ivy) and he’s obsessed with this mousy annoying girl who dumped him and started dating another guy two weeks later.

He literally still calls her and gives her advice on applying to some program at Stanford. It’s pretty depressing. He always liked those plain girls though (she looks similar to Emma Watson kind of). I think he likes the fact that she’s so accomplished and driven. She makes over 200k a year in her mid 20s. But it just makes me angry how she treats him. I don’t get what he sees in her. So some guys seem to value other stuff in a woman. I think he would lose interest in her if she was a waitress or a cashier or something. But he’s also the kind of person who looks down on those professions. So he’s kind of a shitty person too tbh.

But anyway, my point is some guys seem to like those annoying mousy girls who are “smart” and act all sweet and innocent, but are low-key manipulative af.

I got asked out by lawyers and guys way smarter than me when I attended a loser state college and had no career. So I would say many men do not care. But some certainly do. I’m more trashy looking and not really cute and mousy looking though. So maybe that’s why I attract different types of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

True but higher percentage of SAHM mom are prettier and get more men willing to marry them as it is, while plain women have to add additional value with degrees, career and income.

They probably are at 45. They have a recent haircut, put together clothes, enough rest, and some time at the gym. Compared to your average WOHM, they look pretty good.
But not at 25-30 when you are dating and everyone has enough time for these things.

Disagree. Women in my industry are overall very put together. At 45 in a senior position now, they can afford nicer hair cuts, skin care, manicures, nice clothes, personal trainer. It's more often lower income women or women who stay home without full access to the family's finances who can't afford help at home, nice clothes, beauty treatments, etc. that look worse at 45+

Yep. The best looking moms I see after 45 tend to be the women with a client facing job—think sales, media, PR, that kind of thing. They are under pressure to look great, plus they have the flexibility in their schedule to do things like run, get their nails done, etc.

[Anonymous]

I care about her education & that she has an okay career. I don’t expect her to work after having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All things being equal, I think well-educated men with good careers prefer to date/marry well-educated women with good careers. Attractiveness vs. career probably varies by person.

The bigger question isn't who they date/marry, though. It's what they do afterward. I think that for many men their ideal is a well-educated, high-earning woman whose career doesn't require any sacrifices on his part. See the thread about the woman whose spouse forgot to pick up their kid from aftercare because "he had a meeting", nevermind that the woman ended up having to cancel a meeting to rush over there.

DH and I are well-off enough that I can hire help to outsource a lot of household demands, but I've still actively chosen less-demanding roles partially because I know he won't fully step up. I've got enough of a unique skillset that I still make a high income, but I've turned down almost double to avoid our family life falling apart.

You are every educated upper middle class career oriented men’s dream women.

Yes, but I'm an extreme outlier who accidentally stumbled into a high-paying career, because I gained skills in grad school that later blew up in the job market. The bigger point is that men want something that's kind of impossible. Highly-educated, high-earning DW whose job doesn't really impact her ability to take care of the household.

Astonishingly, there are many resentful women on a board like DCUM which is full of highly-educated women.

I am that unicorn with the unicorn job. Both my spouse and I realized early on how good it was. It's getting easier to find with the way telework has taken off, along with job flexibility or more parental leave--like govt. actually paying 12 weeks of maternal leave (I had it unpaid.)

The ideal situation is a pretty woman making 250k a year in a flexible wfh job that doesn’t impact her ability to pick up kids at the bus stop. I know a couple women like this.

I am this woman!! Next year I will be making $240 before bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

True but higher percentage of SAHM mom are prettier and get more men willing to marry them as it is, while plain women have to add additional value with degrees, career and income.

They probably are at 45. They have a recent haircut, put together clothes, enough rest, and some time at the gym. Compared to your average WOHM, they look pretty good.
But not at 25-30 when you are dating and everyone has enough time for these things.

Disagree. Women in my industry are overall very put together. At 45 in a senior position now, they can afford nicer hair cuts, skin care, manicures, nice clothes, personal trainer. It's more often lower income women or women who stay home without full access to the family's finances who can't afford help at home, nice clothes, beauty treatments, etc. that look worse at 45+

Seriously this. I am 51 and every SAHM is pretty relaxed about their looks at this point. Given that some of the DH’s are probably a flight risk, it is probably not the best time to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

True but higher percentage of SAHM mom are prettier and get more men willing to marry them as it is, while plain women have to add additional value with degrees, career and income.

Freakonomics has done a number of episodes on female beauty. Bottom lines- working women tend to score higher on attractiveness, which is likely because beauty carries a premium in the workforce (for both men and women).

This doesn't mean that all working women are more beautiful than all SAHMs. Only that, in the studies reviewed by the Freakonomics podcast crew, the data suggested that working women tend to score higher on that scale.

That makes sense if you think about it, bc working women have to dress and groom to please a wider audience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

True but higher percentage of SAHM mom are prettier and get more men willing to marry them as it is, while plain women have to add additional value with degrees, career and income.

They probably are at 45. They have a recent haircut, put together clothes, enough rest, and some time at the gym. Compared to your average WOHM, they look pretty good.
But not at 25-30 when you are dating and everyone has enough time for these things.

Disagree. Women in my industry are overall very put together. At 45 in a senior position now, they can afford nicer hair cuts, skin care, manicures, nice clothes, personal trainer. It's more often lower income women or women who stay home without full access to the family's finances who can't afford help at home, nice clothes, beauty treatments, etc. that look worse at 45+

Seriously this. I am 51 and every SAHM is pretty relaxed about their looks at this point. Given that some of the DH’s are probably a flight risk, it is probably not the best time to do that.

I’m a 45yo SAHM. Rich women often seem to age well whether they are working or not. The women at our country club are very well put together. My affluent neighborhood is full of well maintained women. No one is overweight.

[Anonymous]

The fact that we spent 10 pages in this thread discussing George and Amal Clooney shows that their situation is the exception, not the rule and thus barely relevant to this discussion. Contrast their story with the 100s of rich/famous man with 20+ years younger hot "influencer" woman.