Do men really not care about a woman’s career?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men claim that the only thing that matters to them is looks, but

1. If they have the choice between a) hot, uneducated and unemployable, and b) hot, educated and employable, they will choose (b), and

2. If they do choose someone only for her looks, whenever they fight or the relationship hits a rough patch, they will call her stupid and accuse her of being a leech/gold digger. Men love their SAH wives when the money is flowing and all is going well; as soon as things get tough, they lose respect for her (or they are no longer able to hide that they did never did respect her).

The choice isn't one that DCUM type men will face.

If they have the choice between (a) hot, has a BA in English from Big State U, and works in a going-nowhere, not-paid-much job like paralegal, and (b) less hot, has a graduate degree and a well-paid career like lawyer -- then they will pick (a) because she is hotter, more pleasant and agreeable, and more likely to accept being a SAHM. The "advantage" of (b) is her career but he doesn't really care about that. And frankly, career women are disagreeable, argumentative PITA (see: everything every DCUM women posted in this forum ever) and who needs that?

As for your second paragraph, it's the usual career-woman cope that men want a women they "respect" and won't respect a hot, less-educated SAHM. Nope. In fact it is you (career women) who do not respect good-looking SAHMs and indulge in spiteful fantasies about their husbands abusing them. Men like these women just fine.

There is a certain ineffable quality about devine femininity that you have to admire and respect and that many career-oriented women simply lack.

Yes, the devine really is ineffable, isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men claim that the only thing that matters to them is looks, but

1. If they have the choice between a) hot, uneducated and unemployable, and b) hot, educated and employable, they will choose (b), and

2. If they do choose someone only for her looks, whenever they fight or the relationship hits a rough patch, they will call her stupid and accuse her of being a leech/gold digger. Men love their SAH wives when the money is flowing and all is going well; as soon as things get tough, they lose respect for her (or they are no longer able to hide that they did never did respect her).

The choice isn't one that DCUM type men will face.

If they have the choice between (a) hot, has a BA in English from Big State U, and works in a going-nowhere, not-paid-much job like paralegal, and (b) less hot, has a graduate degree and a well-paid career like lawyer -- then they will pick (a) because she is hotter, more pleasant and agreeable, and more likely to accept being a SAHM. The "advantage" of (b) is her career but he doesn't really care about that. And frankly, career women are disagreeable, argumentative PITA (see: everything every DCUM women posted in this forum ever) and who needs that?

As for your second paragraph, it's the usual career-woman cope that men want a women they "respect" and won't respect a hot, less-educated SAHM. Nope. In fact it is you (career women) who do not respect good-looking SAHMs and indulge in spiteful fantasies about their husbands abusing them. Men like these women just fine.

I really don’t see this play out. Not in first marriages anyway. I see women who were career minded take a step back, but they are usually similarly educated. I do see men in second marriages to less career-minded women, and to be honest, it’s really a better fit. I think sometimes my husband feels like I don’t need him or appreciate what he brings to the table.

As far as marrying somebody hot vs less hot, I don’t see anyone I know in real life who is married to someone significantly more or less attractive than they are, no matter what they do for a living. I don’t see a lot of goofy looking neurosurgeons married to beauty queens. I see them married to other similarly goofy looking people. It doesn’t matter whether they are fellow surgeon or a preschool teacher.

[Anonymous]

certainly can't speak for others, but I married a beautiful, educated woman who has more degrees than I do, a career and who excels in a field which I barely understand. I am happy for her, proud of her and happy to be her partner. I support her career just as she supports mine, we work together to take care of the kids and the rest of life so that we can both pursue our careers as well. I would never marry someone who looked great but sat around all the time (or even worse was dumb as bricks). I want a partner and an equal, not a bimbo.

[Anonymous]

I’m inclined to think men want someone attractive and pleasant more than someone with a high-power career, however, I’ve found that men appreciate a woman who can stand on her own two feet and therefore isn’t using him for his wallet. As in, show that you are a functional adult, can stick to a modest budget, be responsible, pay your own way and not be weak and helpless. But not be overly career-obsessed to the extent that it consumes you.

- Someone who always offered to split the bill on dates and married happily at 30.

[Anonymous]

It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How true is it that men would rather marry a hot woman with no career of her own than marry an average woman with a career that matched his?

It depends. Some men would, others wouldn't. Most men from educated families have this unintentional bias of only considering similarly educated and professional women from similar family backgrounds. They might completely support or totally oppose their wife's career or decision to becoming full time mom later on but either way pick women with right credentials.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It truly baffles me how many people act like all career-focused women are homely and all low-ambition aspiring SAHM are beautiful. That’s really not how it works.

True but higher percentage of SAHM mom are prettier and get more men willing to marry them as it is, while plain women have to add additional value with degrees, career and income.

[Anonymous]

*obviously there are lots of exceptions but generally its true.

[Anonymous]

In 2023, almost every man need, want and demand a second income for household to do well and also to avoid society's backlash for daring to have a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a lot of men who don't want to marry someone who works in a tanning salon.

But there are plenty who will marry a teacher, a nurse, someone who works for the feds as a gs12 or 13 job in a not particularly impressive path. I think many men want a woman with a middle class or higher job.

But I don't think many care if a woman isn't, say, making 150 or 300 or 500k. 70 or 80 is fine. Whereas for many women, 80k is a big drawback if that is a man's salary.

I just posted but yeah I completely agree with this.

I see a ton of this. It actually works out for the higher-earning man to have a wife in a lower-income but still respectable than having a spouse with a more equivalent job. That way, no question about whose career has primacy once kids come.

[Anonymous]

Industrialization took away opportunity from women to decide how they want to live their child bearing and child raising years. You cant have kids in your most fertile years and you can't leave your career to raise them when you do have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Industrialization took away opportunity from women to decide how they want to live their child bearing and child raising years. You cant have kids in your most fertile years and you can't leave your career to raise them when you do have them.

The poorest women have the most kids and do so starting the earliest.

[Anonymous]

Women just need to be nice, attractive, and enthusiastic about sex. Sure a career is nice but not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

No, I don’t want a woman who could divorce me at the drop of a hot with no lifestyle repercussions for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men claim that the only thing that matters to them is looks, but

1. If they have the choice between a) hot, uneducated and unemployable, and b) hot, educated and employable, they will choose (b), and

2. If they do choose someone only for her looks, whenever they fight or the relationship hits a rough patch, they will call her stupid and accuse her of being a leech/gold digger. Men love their SAH wives when the money is flowing and all is going well; as soon as things get tough, they lose respect for her (or they are no longer able to hide that they did never did respect her).

The choice isn't one that DCUM type men will face.

If they have the choice between (a) hot, has a BA in English from Big State U, and works in a going-nowhere, not-paid-much job like paralegal, and (b) less hot, has a graduate degree and a well-paid career like lawyer -- then they will pick (a) because she is hotter, more pleasant and agreeable, and more likely to accept being a SAHM. The "advantage" of (b) is her career but he doesn't really care about that. And frankly, career women are disagreeable, argumentative PITA (see: everything every DCUM women posted in this forum ever) and who needs that?

As for your second paragraph, it's the usual career-woman cope that men want a women they "respect" and won't respect a hot, less-educated SAHM. Nope. In fact it is you (career women) who do not respect good-looking SAHMs and indulge in spiteful fantasies about their husbands abusing them. Men like these women just fine.

I've seen the opposite in second marriages. The more successful he is, the more likely he is to end up with someone who is successful in her own career, and of course also attractive. The less successful and more insecure he is, the more likely he is to marry 'down' or someone he can control.

I really don’t see this play out. Not in first marriages anyway. I see women who were career minded take a step back, but they are usually similarly educated. I do see men in second marriages to less career-minded women, and to be honest, it’s really a better fit. I think sometimes my husband feels like I don’t need him or appreciate what he brings to the table.

As far as marrying somebody hot vs less hot, I don’t see anyone I know in real life who is married to someone significantly more or less attractive than they are, no matter what they do for a living. I don’t see a lot of goofy looking neurosurgeons married to beauty queens. I see them married to other similarly goofy looking people. It doesn’t matter whether they are fellow surgeon or a preschool teacher.