How To Be A Good Wife?

[Anonymous]

DH here.

OP: keep his interest. No one can say how to do that, except you. But whatever it means for the two of you, stay interested.

So many divorcées repeat the phrase: “we drifted apart” - and I think that should be a lesson for the rest of us: stay interested and stay interesting to each other.

For me: my “type” is a very smart woman. I married well: my wife is brilliant, and that is what I need to stay interested.

I will add: don’t let your love for your children result in abandoning your love for your husband (I’ve seen that happen to women in couples we know). Keep that marital bond as strong as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll. Stop feeding the troll.

OP here. I’m not a troll. You’re threatened by women who have no problem being submissive to their husbands. Sorry, not all women want to be feminists and anti-men.

My wife is not a feminist and no way is she submissive. She’s my partner and has a life of her own.

[Anonymous]

Surrendered wife coach

[Anonymous]

What makes a good wife?
Partner mentality, team player, smart, fun, nice, great mom, good conversation, try new things and places, ambitious with her work and hobbies, fit and healthy, keeps it real.

[Anonymous]

Puts up with my bad habits and doesn’t nag!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

+1. OP is very naive but she’s right. Do you think your husband and many other men married you for earning potential? NO! They married you because you’re hot ( to them) and were willing to sleep with them. Men are simple - food and sex is really all they need. Thai thread has proven many times most men care very little about a woman’s education and career, but they care if she’s hot, fit, and willing to give then sex. Men who are making money don’t want a partner who makes money. They want someone to feed them and f*ck them.

I was not the only hot woman around willing to sleep with DH, but that’s not relevant to the idea that you shouldn’t judge somebody based on how much they earn. You want somebody who works hard and is an adult and contributes when they can. But I good spouses you will still love and support their partners if they get laid off or choose a less lucrative job in exchange for more time at home or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Steak and BJs on the reg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

+1. OP is very naive but she’s right. Do you think your husband and many other men married you for earning potential? NO! They married you because you’re hot ( to them) and were willing to sleep with them. Men are simple - food and sex is really all they need. Thai thread has proven many times most men care very little about a woman’s education and career, but they care if she’s hot, fit, and willing to give then sex. Men who are making money don’t want a partner who makes money. They want someone to feed them and f*ck them.

Men in the top 5% of earners don’t care if their partners make money. The rest living in high cost areas care. This doesn’t mean they will marry a dog for money. It just mens most men will date/have sex with any hot woman. They will only marry the attractive ones that can contribute to the HHI. DH dates tons of women before me. He didn’t want to marry any of them. Many were objectively more attractive than me. He’s said he like my fun personality, caring nature, smarts and job, and that I’m always DTF. I can’t cook and we have a cleaning lady.

Just be yourself OP. He married you for who you are now. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

+1. OP is very naive but she’s right. Do you think your husband and many other men married you for earning potential? NO! They married you because you’re hot ( to them) and were willing to sleep with them. Men are simple - food and sex is really all they need. Thai thread has proven many times most men care very little about a woman’s education and career, but they care if she’s hot, fit, and willing to give then sex. Men who are making money don’t want a partner who makes money. They want someone to feed them and f*ck them.

Men in the top 5% of earners don’t care if their partners make money. The rest living in high cost areas care. This doesn’t mean they will marry a dog for money. It just mens most men will date/have sex with any hot woman. They will only marry the attractive ones that can contribute to the HHI. DH dates tons of women before me. He didn’t want to marry any of them. Many were objectively more attractive than me. He’s said he like my fun personality, caring nature, smarts and job, and that I’m always DTF. I can’t cook and we have a cleaning lady.

Just be yourself OP. He married you for who you are now. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working.

This is untrue based on some threads. Many men on here said they and most men don’t care about a woman’s education or how much they earn. They just want someone who is hot and will have sex with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feminism is part of what makes a good wife, IMO. Part of feminism is being on guard for internalized patriarchy. That crops up a lot when wives send signals to men that they don’t want their husbands to look weak, and that they believe that how much money a man earns is related to their value as a partner.

So I say become more of a feminist if you want to be a good wife.

OP here. No thanks.

NP here. Huh, OP? Do you believe a man's worth is tied to his earnings? Do you believe men should keep up appearances of strength? Really?

OP here. Not fully, no. Men do have a place in the world as a provider and protector. All woman, feminist or not, seek men who make a good living. It’s in our DNA too seek out men to help provide for us. I think part of what makes a good spouse is his potential to earn ands provide, whether that be $50k or $500k/year.

I disagree. All of the women I know would much rather have their own money.

OP, where are you from originally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am a feminist and a very good wife. I am also a good mom. A good DD, DIL, SIL, friend, employee, boss, neighbor, citizen etc etc.

Being a feminist did not mean bra-burning or being anti-men. I immigrated from a very conservative country. I am non-White and not a Christian. I became a feminist because my father was a feminist. . My father supported me because my grandfather was an educated man who had deep respect for women in all their roles and he was a very decent man. My father grew up respecting women and seeing empowered women in his life like his mom, his sisters, sister in laws, wife, MIL, aunts, cousins etc.

My father did not curtail my educational aspirations. He wanted me to be strong and deal with life and be able to provide for my kids if something bad ever happened (death of husband or divorce). Being educated meant that I had economic options. It also meant that I was able to not be pressured into marrying young and it also meant that once I got married I had currency over my reproductive choices. No one controlled my womb and I got pregnant at my will after I was well settled for several years in my married life.

Being a feminist did not translate into my having premarital sex or having boyfriends. Not as a moral judgement but mainly as my own choice. I did not want boyfriend(s) or romantic entanglement before I became established in my career. I did not want any distractions and I did not also find anyone who was worthy of me. Being a feminist meant that I did not have to have sex or have a boyfriend just because everyone else was. I did not have to give in to peer pressure. I was more focused in leaving my hometown to go to the big city to live alone and attend university for my post-grad and research work. I was confident enough to go to a male dominated industry on my own merit.

A very easy thing in my country to humiliate a woman who rejects you is to spread rumors about her. That happened to me too by all the jerks who could not understand why I was not flattered by their sexual or romantic interest. Being a feminist meant that I had high standards and did not have to follow the gender norms. Finally, the man I did fall in love with was also a feminist and he had to prove himself to be worthy of me. Being a feminist made me evaluate him on his moral character and decency and of course I could only marry a fellow feminist, right?

What is a feminist? It is just a humanist. It is a person who treats everyone with respect, equality and consideration regardless of their race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, age, disability, country of origin. And in a marriage if each spouse treats each other with respect, equality, consideration, love, loyalty, then it is a good marriage. If you and your spouse extend the same to your children then you have a good family. It is not rocket science.

All the other stuff - sex, chores, HHI etc, every thing is workable. From the outside, my marriage looks like a conservative marriage. We probably play traditional roles because there is some natural affinity to it. However, I feel supremely empowered and fulfilled in my marriage. My DH feels supremely empowered and fulfilled in our marriage. Marry the person who shares the same values, principles and goals as you and it will be easy to be a good wife.

You're so boring. Do you bore him as much as you just bored us?

Back to sex!

[Anonymous]

Do nothing that threatens his fragile ego
Do everything to make life easy for him
Take any problems you have elsewhere, don’t trouble him with demands, expectations, or complaints
Act like he’s amazing for existing as an adult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No rude comments please. No feminist comments either. I’m newly married and really want to have a successful marriage and be a good wife. What do men want that makes a woman’s good wife?

There’s a whole show spanning multiple seasons about this. Start watching!

[Anonymous]

Short term or long term?

The OP seems obsessed with being a good wife in the very short term.

[Anonymous]

I’ve posted this in the past and I’ll post it agin, to be a good wife, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.