I'm drowning in housework, and I can't seem to hire someone to help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry, but the more ridiculous comments in this thread are making me feel better about my own thread in another DCUM forum today. "How are you this messy?" "Stop blaming them for you bring lazy!"

Some people are just miserable trolls.

Ignore them. And I'll try to remember not to let them get to me, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You have high school and college aged kids. They can change their own sheets! Also nobody needs 3 hot meals a day. It’s a luxury not a necessity. Everybody is old enough to make oatmeal or just have a bowl of cereal for breakfast or sandwich for lunch. Maybe your kids are just too entitled and demanding and you’re just a pushover. I also have 2 high school aged kids and a husband who worked from home and I made sure that everybody helped out. It’s not that hard. And I never once lowered my standards. My house was never a mess. But it does involve cooperation from the whole family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You live in a time warp. Is it the 1960s? Why are you acting like the cook and maid to a household full of adults?! Your college ago child lets you scrub their toilet? You need to command more respect and figure out how to run a team. Be a coach, not a maid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP also both have demanding jobs and we send our laundry out (pick up and delivery at front door) and have the cleaners come more often, only doing the main level except once a week.

Good solution. OP, try and send out all your laundry one time and see if that helps to get a handle on the laundry. Though, you still need to put it away and make inventory of what is being sent and what gets back, so there is some work involved.

I have a good handle on my laundry and I tackle the full laundry of my family.
1) I KonMaried the clothes for every person in my home a couple years ago.
2) Only use white bedlinen, bath rugs and towels. It makes washing them in hot water and bleach easier.
3) I do several loads a day. Wash and change the bedlinens of 1 bedroom every day. Everything gets get folded and put away every day.
4) I have a front loader and a drawer washer. It allows me do smaller loads easily.
5) I now wash bath rugs every four weeks. After two week, I just flip them upside down so that the cleaner side is on the top.
6) Everyone has different undies and socks so that it is easier to sort. I wash all the underwears and socks together, seperate from other clothes so that they are sanitized properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is an easy one. You can thank me later. Hire someone half time, and find someone else to take them the other half. The other family pays and contracts on their own, so do you.

OMG. How do you people tie your own shoes?

+1 Find someone in your neighborhood who only wants an afternoon nanny for school pick ups and after school care. You can hire her for the mornings for the housekeeper stuff. There are definitely people who have housekeepers like this--some are former nannies who transitioned to this type of housekeeping work as the kids got older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You have high school and college aged kids. They can change their own sheets! Also nobody needs 3 hot meals a day. It’s a luxury not a necessity. Everybody is old enough to make oatmeal or just have a bowl of cereal for breakfast or sandwich for lunch. Maybe your kids are just too entitled and demanding and you’re just a pushover. I also have 2 high school aged kids and a husband who worked from home and I made sure that everybody helped out. It’s not that hard. And I never once lowered my standards. My house was never a mess. But it does involve cooperation from the whole family.

Ugh, no. Sorry, my standards are high as far as food is concerned. 3 hot meals a day is not a luxury in our houseful of food lovers. For us, great food signifies home comfort, caring and something delicious and healthy to look forward to at meal times. For me, this is a pretty basic thing to provide for my family. This was something that was happening pre-pandemic also and so we cannot become a household that is eating substandard and uninspiring food. Slapping together a slice of cheese and some meat between two slices of bread for lunch would have made all of us depressed during this pandemic. A real mental health crisis! So for us, crappy and utilitarian food cannot become the norm. Of course, I am not telling you how to run your household.

You misunderstand. My house is never a mess. My kids are excelling in their school/career also so I am ok if their time goes in that rather than doing chores to my standards.

My issue right now is only that I have not been able to get the maids back to clean my house. Pre-pandemic, I have always outsourced some of the domestic chores and paid people well to do so. I have a very good understanding of how much work it takes to have things running smoothly at home (to my standards). And in the end, someone has to do all that work. It can be one person, the whole family or a staff of domestic helpers. But someone has to do the work. It does not happen automagically.

OP's problem is also that of how to outsource the work. We have no idea of what her schedule, her kids schedule, her husband's schedule looks like. She is not thinking of neglecting her household, nor she wants someone to do her work for free. So I don't understand why some posters are getting mad. Obviously, she is earning enough to outsource some of the work and thinks that it will be worthwhile. Why is that making people mad? Why are people taking it personally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op where are you located ? I’m a house manager that has free time during the day and weekends. I’m interested in the job .

Arlington

Im the PP , I’m located in falls church. How can I get ahold of you op ?

Sketch

[Anonymous]

Care.com is the problem. You need to go grassroots. Ask your cleaning people if they know someone. If not, ask neighbors to ask their cleaning people, etc. If you REALLY are desperate, ask someone who you might imagine earns less than $10/hour if they want to work for you for $25/hour.

[Anonymous]

Heck, I would've made your beds, done your laundry, and cleaned your dishes in high school or college for $25/hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You live in a time warp. Is it the 1960s? Why are you acting like the cook and maid to a household full of adults?! Your college ago child lets you scrub their toilet? You need to command more respect and figure out how to run a team. Be a coach, not a maid.

Sweetie, everyone is acting like the cook and maid, no? Some full time, some part time, some working alone and some working in teams. WOHMs, SAHMs, people living in 1960s and people living in 2020s - everyone is a maid and cook now. See, even the OP, who does not want to be the cook and maid is being yelled at here for wanting to outsource more. OP is very clear that she wants to not be the maid.

So if I command more respect then I am running a team of what? I am running a team of cooks and maids that are my own family member? Sorry, but I am actually more used to running a team of maids that are not my family members. Just trying to survive the pandemic. Once things are back to normal then I will have my maids back. Life will become easier again.

[Anonymous]

There are many assholes on care.com. It is a huge waste of time. Call a cleaning service. They will do your shit. Problem solved.

You’re welcome.

[Anonymous]

I have a housekeeper who does all this plus the cleaning. Not sure why you’d want someone separate for cleaning. My housekeeper works 30 hours a week (6 hours a day) and I found her on care.com. Make sure you are accurately describing the job you want on care - in my experience that is the main reason you aren’t finding the right person. Be clear that laundry etc is a big part of it. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You have high school and college aged kids. They can change their own sheets! Also nobody needs 3 hot meals a day. It’s a luxury not a necessity. Everybody is old enough to make oatmeal or just have a bowl of cereal for breakfast or sandwich for lunch. Maybe your kids are just too entitled and demanding and you’re just a pushover. I also have 2 high school aged kids and a husband who worked from home and I made sure that everybody helped out. It’s not that hard. And I never once lowered my standards. My house was never a mess. But it does involve cooperation from the whole family.

Seriously. I make my 5 year old change his own sheets. And there's no way I would do a college kid's laundry or make him snacks and hot meals throughout the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You live in a time warp. Is it the 1960s? Why are you acting like the cook and maid to a household full of adults?! Your college ago child lets you scrub their toilet? You need to command more respect and figure out how to run a team. Be a coach, not a maid.

Sweetie, everyone is acting like the cook and maid, no? Some full time, some part time, some working alone and some working in teams. WOHMs, SAHMs, people living in 1960s and people living in 2020s - everyone is a maid and cook now. See, even the OP, who does not want to be the cook and maid is being yelled at here for wanting to outsource more. OP is very clear that she wants to not be the maid.

So if I command more respect then I am running a team of what? I am running a team of cooks and maids that are my own family member? Sorry, but I am actually more used to running a team of maids that are not my family members. Just trying to survive the pandemic. Once things are back to normal then I will have my maids back. Life will become easier again.

"Just trying to survive the pandemic" without your team of maids, from whom you command respect? Maid services are still in business, lady. They just quit coming to your house because you're insufferable.