I'm drowning in housework, and I can't seem to hire someone to help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It takes less than a minute to make a bed - that's 4 beds (for 5 people).

Emptying a dishwasher takes about 3-5 minutes.

Enlist your family to help more. They can put away clothes. Fold laundry while watching a show. Start an award system for help. Maybe you and husband can split laundry - you do yours and two kids, Husband does his and one kids.

I honestly don't understand.

Wow you honestly don’t understand? How embarrassing for you.

Privilege is never embarrassing, my dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You have high school and college aged kids. They can change their own sheets! Also nobody needs 3 hot meals a day. It’s a luxury not a necessity. Everybody is old enough to make oatmeal or just have a bowl of cereal for breakfast or sandwich for lunch. Maybe your kids are just too entitled and demanding and you’re just a pushover. I also have 2 high school aged kids and a husband who worked from home and I made sure that everybody helped out. It’s not that hard. And I never once lowered my standards. My house was never a mess. But it does involve cooperation from the whole family.

Ugh, no. Sorry, my standards are high as far as food is concerned. 3 hot meals a day is not a luxury in our houseful of food lovers. For us, great food signifies home comfort, caring and something delicious and healthy to look forward to at meal times. For me, this is a pretty basic thing to provide for my family. This was something that was happening pre-pandemic also and so we cannot become a household that is eating substandard and uninspiring food. Slapping together a slice of cheese and some meat between two slices of bread for lunch would have made all of us depressed during this pandemic. A real mental health crisis! So for us, crappy and utilitarian food cannot become the norm. Of course, I am not telling you how to run your household.

You misunderstand. My house is never a mess. My kids are excelling in their school/career also so I am ok if their time goes in that rather than doing chores to my standards.

My issue right now is only that I have not been able to get the maids back to clean my house. Pre-pandemic, I have always outsourced some of the domestic chores and paid people well to do so. I have a very good understanding of how much work it takes to have things running smoothly at home (to my standards). And in the end, someone has to do all that work. It can be one person, the whole family or a staff of domestic helpers. But someone has to do the work. It does not happen automagically.

OP's problem is also that of how to outsource the work. We have no idea of what her schedule, her kids schedule, her husband's schedule looks like. She is not thinking of neglecting her household, nor she wants someone to do her work for free. So I don't understand why some posters are getting mad. Obviously, she is earning enough to outsource some of the work and thinks that it will be worthwhile. Why is that making people mad? Why are people taking it personally?

DP. I wish the best of luck to your kids’ future partners, because they’re going to need it.

My kids are on track to becoming high earners. Hopefully they can afford to effectively outsource stuff. If their high standards exclude lots of prospective partners it is really not a great loss.

This says so much about your values. God forbid your children pursue a career they find valuable and meaningful but doesn’t have high income potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It takes less than a minute to make a bed - that's 4 beds (for 5 people).

Emptying a dishwasher takes about 3-5 minutes.

Enlist your family to help more. They can put away clothes. Fold laundry while watching a show. Start an award system for help. Maybe you and husband can split laundry - you do yours and two kids, Husband does his and one kids.

I honestly don't understand.

Wow you honestly don’t understand? How embarrassing for you.

Privilege is never embarrassing, my dear.

Explain. Why should I be embarrassed I don’t do my own laundry or load my own dishwasher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you do paper plates, plastic cups and utensils, plus a laundry service?

This is so wasteful and terrible for the environment. Why are Americans so trashy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op where are you located ? I’m a house manager that has free time during the day and weekends. I’m interested in the job .

Arlington

Post your job in some of the Ethiopian restaurants and stores along Columbia Pike. You will find a good person who will work hourly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You live in a time warp. Is it the 1960s? Why are you acting like the cook and maid to a household full of adults?! Your college ago child lets you scrub their toilet? You need to command more respect and figure out how to run a team. Be a coach, not a maid.

Sweetie, everyone is acting like the cook and maid, no? Some full time, some part time, some working alone and some working in teams. WOHMs, SAHMs, people living in 1960s and people living in 2020s - everyone is a maid and cook now. See, even the OP, who does not want to be the cook and maid is being yelled at here for wanting to outsource more. OP is very clear that she wants to not be the maid.

So if I command more respect then I am running a team of what? I am running a team of cooks and maids that are my own family member? Sorry, but I am actually more used to running a team of maids that are not my family members. Just trying to survive the pandemic. Once things are back to normal then I will have my maids back. Life will become easier again.

My help never left. I think your help thinks you’re the ass you’re coming off as here and are using the pandemic as an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Particularly the family where the college aged kids can’t make their own food. Seriously that is depressing.

I know a parent who had to teach their 18 year old how to do laundry before sending them off to college. Pathetic.

I hate this example. I did the dusting, vacuuming, much of the cooking, bathroom cleaning and yard work growing up as a teen. But I did NOT do the laundry because if I ruined the clothes or damages the machine, it would have been a real financial hardship to replace it, and my mother was too worried to let me potentially mess that up. So I also learned laundry to go away for college. And I also don’t generally let my kids do laundry. One pen left on a pocket and you lose the whole load of clothing. They can learn before they go to college. Or one stupid toy can dissolve nad get in the filter and it’s impossible to pick out. My kids clean the kitchen, toilets, and do the vacuuming, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again.

How do you suggest I find someone who also wants to hire a half-time housekeeper? To be honest I feel really awkward and uncomfortable advertising to my neighborhood or friends that we’re willing to spend so much on this, not because I’m embarrassed to outsource the work but because I try not to talk too much about money.

Look for someone in Arlington Moms or Next door who is looking for a part time nanny or has a nanny/housekeeper looking for more work. You dont' have to advertise anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You have high school and college aged kids. They can change their own sheets! Also nobody needs 3 hot meals a day. It’s a luxury not a necessity. Everybody is old enough to make oatmeal or just have a bowl of cereal for breakfast or sandwich for lunch. Maybe your kids are just too entitled and demanding and you’re just a pushover. I also have 2 high school aged kids and a husband who worked from home and I made sure that everybody helped out. It’s not that hard. And I never once lowered my standards. My house was never a mess. But it does involve cooperation from the whole family.

Ugh, no. Sorry, my standards are high as far as food is concerned. 3 hot meals a day is not a luxury in our houseful of food lovers. For us, great food signifies home comfort, caring and something delicious and healthy to look forward to at meal times. For me, this is a pretty basic thing to provide for my family. This was something that was happening pre-pandemic also and so we cannot become a household that is eating substandard and uninspiring food. Slapping together a slice of cheese and some meat between two slices of bread for lunch would have made all of us depressed during this pandemic. A real mental health crisis! So for us, crappy and utilitarian food cannot become the norm. Of course, I am not telling you how to run your household.

You misunderstand. My house is never a mess. My kids are excelling in their school/career also so I am ok if their time goes in that rather than doing chores to my standards.

My issue right now is only that I have not been able to get the maids back to clean my house. Pre-pandemic, I have always outsourced some of the domestic chores and paid people well to do so. I have a very good understanding of how much work it takes to have things running smoothly at home (to my standards). And in the end, someone has to do all that work. It can be one person, the whole family or a staff of domestic helpers. But someone has to do the work. It does not happen automagically.

OP's problem is also that of how to outsource the work. We have no idea of what her schedule, her kids schedule, her husband's schedule looks like. She is not thinking of neglecting her household, nor she wants someone to do her work for free. So I don't understand why some posters are getting mad. Obviously, she is earning enough to outsource some of the work and thinks that it will be worthwhile. Why is that making people mad? Why are people taking it personally?

DP. I wish the best of luck to your kids’ future partners, because they’re going to need it.

My kids are on track to becoming high earners. Hopefully they can afford to effectively outsource stuff. If their high standards exclude lots of prospective partners it is really not a great loss.

This says so much about your values. God forbid your children pursue a career they find valuable and meaningful but doesn’t have high income potential.

Dear LORD! You do know that you can work hard and have a valuable and meaningful career that also pays extremely well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You live in a time warp. Is it the 1960s? Why are you acting like the cook and maid to a household full of adults?! Your college ago child lets you scrub their toilet? You need to command more respect and figure out how to run a team. Be a coach, not a maid.

Sweetie, everyone is acting like the cook and maid, no? Some full time, some part time, some working alone and some working in teams. WOHMs, SAHMs, people living in 1960s and people living in 2020s - everyone is a maid and cook now. See, even the OP, who does not want to be the cook and maid is being yelled at here for wanting to outsource more. OP is very clear that she wants to not be the maid.

So if I command more respect then I am running a team of what? I am running a team of cooks and maids that are my own family member? Sorry, but I am actually more used to running a team of maids that are not my family members. Just trying to survive the pandemic. Once things are back to normal then I will have my maids back. Life will become easier again.

My help never left. I think your help thinks you’re the ass you’re coming off as here and are using the pandemic as an excuse.

You sound like an ahole POS person. You were exposing maids to the virus through the entire pandemic? Who are you? Ivanka Frump? I paid my maids to sit at home and be safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You have high school and college aged kids. They can change their own sheets! Also nobody needs 3 hot meals a day. It’s a luxury not a necessity. Everybody is old enough to make oatmeal or just have a bowl of cereal for breakfast or sandwich for lunch. Maybe your kids are just too entitled and demanding and you’re just a pushover. I also have 2 high school aged kids and a husband who worked from home and I made sure that everybody helped out. It’s not that hard. And I never once lowered my standards. My house was never a mess. But it does involve cooperation from the whole family.

Ugh, no. Sorry, my standards are high as far as food is concerned. 3 hot meals a day is not a luxury in our houseful of food lovers. For us, great food signifies home comfort, caring and something delicious and healthy to look forward to at meal times. For me, this is a pretty basic thing to provide for my family. This was something that was happening pre-pandemic also and so we cannot become a household that is eating substandard and uninspiring food. Slapping together a slice of cheese and some meat between two slices of bread for lunch would have made all of us depressed during this pandemic. A real mental health crisis! So for us, crappy and utilitarian food cannot become the norm. Of course, I am not telling you how to run your household.

You misunderstand. My house is never a mess. My kids are excelling in their school/career also so I am ok if their time goes in that rather than doing chores to my standards.

My issue right now is only that I have not been able to get the maids back to clean my house. Pre-pandemic, I have always outsourced some of the domestic chores and paid people well to do so. I have a very good understanding of how much work it takes to have things running smoothly at home (to my standards). And in the end, someone has to do all that work. It can be one person, the whole family or a staff of domestic helpers. But someone has to do the work. It does not happen automagically.

OP's problem is also that of how to outsource the work. We have no idea of what her schedule, her kids schedule, her husband's schedule looks like. She is not thinking of neglecting her household, nor she wants someone to do her work for free. So I don't understand why some posters are getting mad. Obviously, she is earning enough to outsource some of the work and thinks that it will be worthwhile. Why is that making people mad? Why are people taking it personally?

DP. I wish the best of luck to your kids’ future partners, because they’re going to need it.

My kids are on track to becoming high earners. Hopefully they can afford to effectively outsource stuff. If their high standards exclude lots of prospective partners it is really not a great loss.

This says so much about your values. God forbid your children pursue a career they find valuable and meaningful but doesn’t have high income potential.

Dear LORD! You do know that you can work hard and have a valuable and meaningful career that also pays extremely well?

And if your snowflakes decide to work in a nonprofit or as a teacher then how will they survive without a staff and their 3 hot meals a day?

[Anonymous]

Is this a troll? How can this be real?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You live in a time warp. Is it the 1960s? Why are you acting like the cook and maid to a household full of adults?! Your college ago child lets you scrub their toilet? You need to command more respect and figure out how to run a team. Be a coach, not a maid.

Sweetie, everyone is acting like the cook and maid, no? Some full time, some part time, some working alone and some working in teams. WOHMs, SAHMs, people living in 1960s and people living in 2020s - everyone is a maid and cook now. See, even the OP, who does not want to be the cook and maid is being yelled at here for wanting to outsource more. OP is very clear that she wants to not be the maid.

So if I command more respect then I am running a team of what? I am running a team of cooks and maids that are my own family member? Sorry, but I am actually more used to running a team of maids that are not my family members. Just trying to survive the pandemic. Once things are back to normal then I will have my maids back. Life will become easier again.

My help never left. I think your help thinks you’re the ass you’re coming off as here and are using the pandemic as an excuse.

You sound like an ahole POS person. You were exposing maids to the virus through the entire pandemic? Who are you? Ivanka Frump? I paid my maids to sit at home and be safe.

Well, they were exposing me. I didn’t do anything to get exposed aside from have them come. We would leave the house and leave the windows open etc. They wouldn’t accept $ without working. And they need the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I finally decided we needed more than our weekly cleaners, and we're trying to hire a housekeeper for 20-25 hours a week (or as few as 12-15, if we also keep our weekly cleaners). I've interviewed (on the phone) like a dozen applicants from care.com over the past month and none are even willing to do what we want - and all I want is for someone to do what *I* and *most parents* do on a regular basis: clean up the kitchen in the morning, empty the dishwasher, make the beds, do some laundry, etc. We want four or five days a week, for 4-5 hours a day.

What am I doing wrong here? We're offering $20-35 an hour depending on experience, and we've only rarely gotten to the point of discussing pay because no one gets that far.

I get that this isn't a full-time job, but our weekly cleaners are only paid 180 per visit, and it's two women working 4-5 hours, or about 20 dollars per hour per person - and they work A LOT harder, physically, than someone just putting away dishes and doing laundry would.

Seriously, how do I make this job more appealing? Or do I just keep at it and hope someone eventually comes along?

Can you get your weekly cleaners to come more often?

Op here. We actually did ask our cleaners to come more often and fold some laundry, and they did for a while. Then she told me she didn’t want to do laundry anymore. She said she considered herself a business owner and didn’t want to be a personal housekeeper. I think it’s a status thing I don’t fully understand; she’s an independent contractor housecleaner, she doesn’t have a larger business or anything, but I think she wants to feel like she has “clients” not a “boss”. Regardless, she was very clear that she prefers coming to scrub our showers and toilets than to folding laundry - and I even offered to pay her more!

I do think I need to look some place other than care.com. I just looked at housekeeper.com and it showed over a hundred local house cleaners but only twenty of them selected “laundry” as something they’ll do. Seriously I don’t get why cleaners won’t do laundry.

To the PP who suggested sending it out, I tried using Rinse and it came back in this giant bag and took forever to sort among the five family members, and it cost almost 100 dollars - and I really don’t think it was four hours of labor, so it just seemed like something I should be able to hire someone to come to my house and do.

Anyway I appreciate the suggestions and commiseration all.

have you asked your current housecleaner for a recommendation, since she did not want it?

Since you are willing to go to $30 an hour and 20+ hours a week, I would think you will eventually get someone. Maybe people here can help you write the ad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op where are you located ? I’m a house manager that has free time during the day and weekends. I’m interested in the job .

Arlington

Post your job in some of the Ethiopian restaurants and stores along Columbia Pike. You will find a good person who will work hourly.

She could also post the job here under the nanny tab there is a section for seeking housekeeper