I'm drowning in housework, and I can't seem to hire someone to help

[Anonymous]

Particularly the family where the college aged kids can’t make their own food. Seriously that is depressing.

[Anonymous]

It takes less than a minute to make a bed - that's 4 beds (for 5 people).

Emptying a dishwasher takes about 3-5 minutes.

Enlist your family to help more. They can put away clothes. Fold laundry while watching a show. Start an award system for help. Maybe you and husband can split laundry - you do yours and two kids, Husband does his and one kids.

I honestly don't understand.

[Anonymous]

OP, I had a part-time housekeeper who did all this plus some child care. With two kids in college, we couldn't keep her busy enough. She is looking now, I believe, and has a profile on care.com.

Having the laundry washed and ironed weekly was the best part!

[Anonymous]

You know what, all you people who do all your own housekeeping while working full time and teaching your 5 year old to wash bedsheets: that’s awesome. Glad that works for you.

However,
OP IS NOT ASKING HOW TO DO THAT!

She wants to pay someone a living wage to do honest work. There is nothing wrong with that. $25/hour for 25 hours a week is what 37K per year. Paid legally, paying into SS. That’s good work for someone.

If you don’t outsource that’s fine, but outsourcing is employing other people and that’s good too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I had a part-time housekeeper who did all this plus some child care. With two kids in college, we couldn't keep her busy enough. She is looking now, I believe, and has a profile on care.com.

Having the laundry washed and ironed weekly was the best part!

OP here.

If this is really someone you recommend who might be interested, can you give me a hint of how to find her on care.com? Her first name or initials?

[Anonymous]

Could you do paper plates, plastic cups and utensils, plus a laundry service?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Particularly the family where the college aged kids can’t make their own food. Seriously that is depressing.

I know a parent who had to teach their 18 year old how to do laundry before sending them off to college. Pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Particularly the family where the college aged kids can’t make their own food. Seriously that is depressing.

I know a parent who had to teach their 18 year old how to do laundry before sending them off to college. Pathetic.

When I went to college in the late 90s I taught many of my dorm
Mates how to do laundry. It’s not new. My kids learned by age 8 however.

[Anonymous]

washingdc.net

laundrymom.us

mcleancleaners.com

they do pick up I think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It takes less than a minute to make a bed - that's 4 beds (for 5 people).

Emptying a dishwasher takes about 3-5 minutes.

Enlist your family to help more. They can put away clothes. Fold laundry while watching a show. Start an award system for help. Maybe you and husband can split laundry - you do yours and two kids, Husband does his and one kids.

I honestly don't understand.

Wow you honestly don’t understand? How embarrassing for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Particularly the family where the college aged kids can’t make their own food. Seriously that is depressing.

I know a parent who had to teach their 18 year old how to do laundry before sending them off to college. Pathetic.

When I went to college in the late 90s I taught many of my dorm
Mates how to do laundry. It’s not new. My kids learned by age 8 however.

I knew how to do laundry by age 8 too. And now? I send it out. My time is worth more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mind is blown by weekly cleaners spending 8-10 work hours at your house and it’s not enough. How are you this messy/dirty? Have your kids make their own beds..

It is incredibly hard to maintain a house when you are working and also have 3 small kids. The kids need your attention too. I am sure that the weekly cleaners are ensuring that OP's house is not dirty or gross. But, daily living - cooking, cleaning, laundry, paper work also requires a lot of work.

I am a SAHM of grown kids. Before pandemic I had cleaners twice a week. 2 kids in HS and 1 in college. This year, all three are doing college, school, jobs, internships from home and my DH is working from home too. Without maid service, I am now cooking 3 hot meals for 5 grownups, doing laundry every day, changing sheets in 4 bedrooms, cleaning 4 bathrooms, washing pots and pans by hand along with having the dishwasher run endlessley. In all of this, the only good thing is that my kids don't need my attention but they still need everything else done because they are busy.

Yes, the choice is to have lower standards and let everything go (and some days that happens too), but obviously OP does not want that to be the norm in her house much like I don't want that to be the norm in my house. Besides, it is not that letting things slide ever helps things. It just creates a larger mess and things spin more out of control.

You have high school and college aged kids. They can change their own sheets! Also nobody needs 3 hot meals a day. It’s a luxury not a necessity. Everybody is old enough to make oatmeal or just have a bowl of cereal for breakfast or sandwich for lunch. Maybe your kids are just too entitled and demanding and you’re just a pushover. I also have 2 high school aged kids and a husband who worked from home and I made sure that everybody helped out. It’s not that hard. And I never once lowered my standards. My house was never a mess. But it does involve cooperation from the whole family.

Ugh, no. Sorry, my standards are high as far as food is concerned. 3 hot meals a day is not a luxury in our houseful of food lovers. For us, great food signifies home comfort, caring and something delicious and healthy to look forward to at meal times. For me, this is a pretty basic thing to provide for my family. This was something that was happening pre-pandemic also and so we cannot become a household that is eating substandard and uninspiring food. Slapping together a slice of cheese and some meat between two slices of bread for lunch would have made all of us depressed during this pandemic. A real mental health crisis! So for us, crappy and utilitarian food cannot become the norm. Of course, I am not telling you how to run your household.

You misunderstand. My house is never a mess. My kids are excelling in their school/career also so I am ok if their time goes in that rather than doing chores to my standards.

My issue right now is only that I have not been able to get the maids back to clean my house. Pre-pandemic, I have always outsourced some of the domestic chores and paid people well to do so. I have a very good understanding of how much work it takes to have things running smoothly at home (to my standards). And in the end, someone has to do all that work. It can be one person, the whole family or a staff of domestic helpers. But someone has to do the work. It does not happen automagically.

OP's problem is also that of how to outsource the work. We have no idea of what her schedule, her kids schedule, her husband's schedule looks like. She is not thinking of neglecting her household, nor she wants someone to do her work for free. So I don't understand why some posters are getting mad. Obviously, she is earning enough to outsource some of the work and thinks that it will be worthwhile. Why is that making people mad? Why are people taking it personally?

DP. I wish the best of luck to your kids’ future partners, because they’re going to need it.

My kids are on track to becoming high earners. Hopefully they can afford to effectively outsource stuff. If their high standards exclude lots of prospective partners it is really not a great loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Particularly the family where the college aged kids can’t make their own food. Seriously that is depressing.

I know a parent who had to teach their 18 year old how to do laundry before sending them off to college. Pathetic.

When I went to college in the late 90s I taught many of my dorm
Mates how to do laundry. It’s not new. My kids learned by age 8 however.

I knew how to do laundry by age 8 too. And now? I send it out. My time is worth more.

+ 1
You are also creating job opportunities for others. Thank you for supporting small businesses and gig economy.

[Anonymous]

To all those people who don’t understand, I wouldn’t pay for this either but note that op has back problems. And 3 young kids. The back problems make a lot of these tasks harder and I’m guessing her DH isn’t able/willing to take on more of these tasks. OP, I’m sure it’s a mismatch on care.com, you can find someone through next door, word of mouth, local college job board. I do think you need to be flexible about days/times and assume that you aren’t necessarily going to keep the same person long term.

[Anonymous]

My independent cleaner does what you describe as part of her once a week cleaning and then goes in to her other jobs. She would have to wash sheets daily so she could do other laundry in those days. Try to find an independent cleaner who would do this and you have to pay at least $30 an hour. Lose the cleaners and apply the $180 to the overall job

The agencies never have yet good people.