Can we have an honest, good faith conversation about fat acceptance and body positivity?

[Anonymous]

The basic problem here is that there is NO known cure for obesity. Imagine sitting around discussing whether to accept type 1 diabetes. Until someone can actually permanently cure obesity in a population, it’s not really a debate at all.

[Anonymous]

Obesity has never been normal and acceptable. Just bcs you have a few people posting on youtube and media that it is awesome to views, doesn't make it so.
People that are obese are usually not ok with it. Why? Because they know what it means health wise, life wise.
Imagine being a power lifter every time you want to get up, go to the bathroom, go shopping?
For some reason, op, your youtube feed feeds you videos that you like.
You could have a completely different opinion if your watched something else and then you algorithm feed you some other info.
Youtubers and media posters are not the makers of real people and their opinions, not in anything.
You see what you want to see, I am watching a Chinese cooking show.
Heck algorithms are shaping us by feeding us content based on something we watched!
I am from Europe, but lately watched way too many Asian shows on Netflix.
So, now Netflix is feeding me only Korean and Chinese shows!
I am stuck bcs I am too stupid to search for new American shows!
So, don't make opinions based on your internet feed.

[Anonymous]

Oh, great! I typed the word obesity two seconds ago, and now I am getting shopping sites with plus models in swimming suits!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can no longer accept obesity as something normal and desirable. I am seeing people die in my home country of COVID and we need to recognize that obesity is a co-morbidity.

Just like extreme thinness of anorexia is a life threatening condition so is obesity.

And how, pray tell, do you address the anorexics? Do you shame them into dieting, call them names and criticize them for their moral failures?

No one shames anyone in the entire world unless the people are being inconvenienced in some way (sitting next to an obese person in the airplane and being squished).

Do I find pictures of obese or skeletal people in bikinis appealing in ads? No. In a documentary, maybe.

Do I have a right to judge them? No. I feel pity for their health condition. If the unhealthy person is my child and us not an adult then I will try and make them eat in a healthy manner and get them professional health. As a parent, that isn't responsibility.

That is a pretty naïve statement. How does a fat person inconvenience some random people across the street to stop and shame and stare at him/her? Or the urgent care doctor who they went to see for a UTI? Or the clerks at a store that the person is trying to patronize? Or the people who are attending the same party? And no the person isn't eating all of the food at the party. Read some of the blogs of people who had extreme weightloss and see how differently they were treated as a heavy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be happy if we could just decouple weight from morality and see it for the public health issue that it is. We have decided that obese people are moral failures, and therefore the solution is for them to be better -- more disciplined, more virtuous in their food choices, more self-denying. When, in fact, a lot of obesity is the result of systemic issues: cheap highly processed food, corn subsidies, food deserts, people unable to cook healthy food for themselves because they are too busy, sleep deprivation, etc., etc., etc.

If we could just separate those things so that your weight is a matter of personal preference and health, not shame.

Having been morbidly obese myself I am sorry to tell you that you are wrong. Good food is always available but fruit and vegetables don’t taste as good potato chips. Canned fruit in juice and frozen vegetable are available at every grocery store and cost the same or less than processed food. But they don’t taste as good.

Then there is the fact that if everyone around you is fat it makes you feel it’s ok to be fat too

And last and most important of all junk food is a cheap form of entertainment. When you don’t have much for extras in a budget, then you begin to reward and treat yourself and family with junk food because you can afford it and because you can justify the purchase even if you can’t really afford it. It’s one of the reason you see a lot of morbidly obese people at food banks. They can get the staples there so they can use food stamps for the “fun” food. I am not condemning but explaining that it really has nothing to do with food availability, processed foods, and most to do with personal choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The basic problem here is that there is NO known cure for obesity. Imagine sitting around discussing whether to accept type 1 diabetes. Until someone can actually permanently cure obesity in a population, it’s not really a debate at all.

You can’t be serious. Eat less and you will lose weight. It may be difficult to do but it’s bs to say that there’s no known cure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What role does metabolism play into this? What about genes?

Huge. Both of them.

But not nearly as much as our diet and what foods are affordable, available and subsidized.

Many people have good diets, eat healthy foods and are still overweight. It’s due to their slow metabolism‘s and genes.
I suspect there are a lot of women, especially rich women, that would be overweight if they didn’t diet and work out.

[Anonymous]

I’m obese. I hate it. I was the gorgeous, healthy, skinny woman everyone envied before I was long-term sexually harassed at work and went on medication for depression and anxiety. I was milested by my father repeatedly in ES so that I may be a bit sensitive to the workplace issue.

Now, I’m afraid to leave the house I don’t want anyone to see how fat I am. I take lithium and abilify, which cause weight gain.

I’m fine to pay extra for a seat on an airplane, but I’m also a millionaire.

I’d give anything to have a friend to walk with, but obesity is a lonely thing. My doctor has no advice for me. Last appointment, he just shrugged when I asked for exercise ideas. I can’t afford a personal trainer because, while I have money, I also don’t work so I need to save it. (I’m not on disability.)

I’d give anything to not be shamed. I feel like the shaming closes me in. There’s no way out. My only comfort is that I will die early and be done with this miserable life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be happy if we could just decouple weight from morality and see it for the public health issue that it is. We have decided that obese people are moral failures, and therefore the solution is for them to be better -- more disciplined, more virtuous in their food choices, more self-denying. When, in fact, a lot of obesity is the result of systemic issues: cheap highly processed food, corn subsidies, food deserts, people unable to cook healthy food for themselves because they are too busy, sleep deprivation, etc., etc., etc.

If we could just separate those things so that your weight is a matter of personal preference and health, not shame.

Having been morbidly obese myself I am sorry to tell you that you are wrong. Good food is always available but fruit and vegetables don’t taste as good potato chips. Canned fruit in juice and frozen vegetable are available at every grocery store and cost the same or less than processed food. But they don’t taste as good.

Then there is the fact that if everyone around you is fat it makes you feel it’s ok to be fat too

And last and most important of all junk food is a cheap form of entertainment. When you don’t have much for extras in a budget, then you begin to reward and treat yourself and family with junk food because you can afford it and because you can justify the purchase even if you can’t really afford it. It’s one of the reason you see a lot of morbidly obese people at food banks. They can get the staples there so they can use food stamps for the “fun” food. I am not condemning but explaining that it really has nothing to do with food availability, processed foods, and most to do with personal choice.

I am sorry that your did not get the the good draw when it came to food and weight. Likely it was your genetics and your environment. Society and capitalism here also suck so bad here, and government has poor food standards. I wonder do you ever feel like you are just bombarded with "bad" food choices and nobody cares? Nobody cares that fruits and veggies are too expensive, that nutrition education sucks, I mean we feed kids oil and sugar laden desserts in schools and call savory dishes! You buy teriyaki sauce and find out later that one spoon of it has 5 spoons of sugar?
How are we to fight such pounding with cheap, empty calories that are nutrient lacking in every sense?
How are you to learn to think that tomato is delicious, when you only get unripe tastless variety? We are all guinea pigs for the food and pharmaceutical industry! But, hey, dcum often thinks you should know better, learn, do better. When you watch a poverty documentary, guess what overweight teen girls pray is at their local food pantry? Strawberries! They want them, bcs they are sick of potato chips. Literary and figuratively sick! I do not believe that it is your fault, individual fault, we are fed like pigs in pens! Well, actually pigs probably have it better, we are like chickens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The basic problem here is that there is NO known cure for obesity. Imagine sitting around discussing whether to accept type 1 diabetes. Until someone can actually permanently cure obesity in a population, it’s not really a debate at all.

You can’t be serious. Eat less and you will lose weight. It may be difficult to do but it’s bs to say that there’s no known cure.

It's like swimming against the current. Sugar is everywhere, food industry uses it to make food taste good. In addition to that - nobody is willing to admit that sugar is addictive.
Until society admits that added sugar is a drug - we won't have cure for obesity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I’m obese. I hate it. I was the gorgeous, healthy, skinny woman everyone envied before I was long-term sexually harassed at work and went on medication for depression and anxiety. I was milested by my father repeatedly in ES so that I may be a bit sensitive to the workplace issue.

Now, I’m afraid to leave the house I don’t want anyone to see how fat I am. I take lithium and abilify, which cause weight gain.

I’m fine to pay extra for a seat on an airplane, but I’m also a millionaire.

I’d give anything to have a friend to walk with, but obesity is a lonely thing. My doctor has no advice for me. Last appointment, he just shrugged when I asked for exercise ideas. I can’t afford a personal trainer because, while I have money, I also don’t work so I need to save it. (I’m not on disability.)

I’d give anything to not be shamed. I feel like the shaming closes me in. There’s no way out. My only comfort is that I will die early and be done with this miserable life.

I am so sorry, pp. How are you doing today? Please know that even I, a stranger, am hoping that you will find a way to conquer your demons and that you will keep on living. Doctors are jerks, nasty pathetic jerks, some of them. It is so much easier to gaslight a woman than to take her seriously and to actually spend time to help her. You have been clearly let down more than I can even imagine.
Writing all of this here must be, well at least it reads to me, like you are a brave person.
I know it doesn't mean much if anything, but hugs.
(My dd was raped in college, and now has immense problems, and an eating disorder among other things. I hope you don't find my post condescending, I am truly not.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be happy if we could just decouple weight from morality and see it for the public health issue that it is. We have decided that obese people are moral failures, and therefore the solution is for them to be better -- more disciplined, more virtuous in their food choices, more self-denying. When, in fact, a lot of obesity is the result of systemic issues: cheap highly processed food, corn subsidies, food deserts, people unable to cook healthy food for themselves because they are too busy, sleep deprivation, etc., etc., etc.

If we could just separate those things so that your weight is a matter of personal preference and health, not shame.

Having been morbidly obese myself I am sorry to tell you that you are wrong. Good food is always available but fruit and vegetables don’t taste as good potato chips. Canned fruit in juice and frozen vegetable are available at every grocery store and cost the same or less than processed food. But they don’t taste as good.

Then there is the fact that if everyone around you is fat it makes you feel it’s ok to be fat too

And last and most important of all junk food is a cheap form of entertainment. When you don’t have much for extras in a budget, then you begin to reward and treat yourself and family with junk food because you can afford it and because you can justify the purchase even if you can’t really afford it. It’s one of the reason you see a lot of morbidly obese people at food banks. They can get the staples there so they can use food stamps for the “fun” food. I am not condemning but explaining that it really has nothing to do with food availability, processed foods, and most to do with personal choice.

I am sorry that your did not get the the good draw when it came to food and weight. Likely it was your genetics and your environment. Society and capitalism here also suck so bad here, and government has poor food standards. I wonder do you ever feel like you are just bombarded with "bad" food choices and nobody cares? Nobody cares that fruits and veggies are too expensive, that nutrition education sucks, I mean we feed kids oil and sugar laden desserts in schools and call savory dishes! You buy teriyaki sauce and find out later that one spoon of it has 5 spoons of sugar?
How are we to fight such pounding with cheap, empty calories that are nutrient lacking in every sense?
How are you to learn to think that tomato is delicious, when you only get unripe tastless variety? We are all guinea pigs for the food and pharmaceutical industry! But, hey, dcum often thinks you should know better, learn, do better. When you watch a poverty documentary, guess what overweight teen girls pray is at their local food pantry? Strawberries! They want them, bcs they are sick of potato chips. Literary and figuratively sick! I do not believe that it is your fault, individual fault, we are fed like pigs in pens! Well, actually pigs probably have it better, we are like chickens.

Totally agree. Government is in the pocket of big pharma and food industry, and we all paying the price.

[Anonymous]

The health care industry has shown itself to be a complete failure at treating obesity. Instead they just chastise their obese patients once a year. And fail to treat them for their other issues (broke your arm? You should lose weight!) Shockingly, that doesn't work, and it costs all of us a lot of money... which is great, for the health care industry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I’m obese. I hate it. I was the gorgeous, healthy, skinny woman everyone envied before I was long-term sexually harassed at work and went on medication for depression and anxiety. I was milested by my father repeatedly in ES so that I may be a bit sensitive to the workplace issue.

Now, I’m afraid to leave the house I don’t want anyone to see how fat I am. I take lithium and abilify, which cause weight gain.

I’m fine to pay extra for a seat on an airplane, but I’m also a millionaire.

I’d give anything to have a friend to walk with, but obesity is a lonely thing. My doctor has no advice for me. Last appointment, he just shrugged when I asked for exercise ideas. I can’t afford a personal trainer because, while I have money, I also don’t work so I need to save it. (I’m not on disability.)

I’d give anything to not be shamed. I feel like the shaming closes me in. There’s no way out. My only comfort is that I will die early and be done with this miserable life.

I'm literally crying reading this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The basic problem here is that there is NO known cure for obesity. Imagine sitting around discussing whether to accept type 1 diabetes. Until someone can actually permanently cure obesity in a population, it’s not really a debate at all.

You can’t be serious. Eat less and you will lose weight. It may be difficult to do but it’s bs to say that there’s no known cure.

There is no studied population for which that has permanently cured diabetes. None.