Spend Mothers' Day Not Mothering?

[Anonymous]

I always say that I like to spend mothers day grandmothering. That means just the fund stuff. So when my kids were little I'd run and get coffee while DH was trying to pack up the stroller bag and get three kids age 4 and under out of the house and over to the playground. And then I'd enjoy playing with the kids and we'd do a picnic for lunch. And then when they younger ones started to get cranky and need a nap, I'd head to the gym and let DH get them back home and down for a nap.

I do the same for DH on father's day.

[Anonymous]

Aww, divorced mom who only sees her kids 50% of the time being sanctimonious about me taking PART of one day to myself is cute. I tuck my kids in about 360 days a year, and hug them when they wake. We’re great, thanks.

[Anonymous]

I spend time with my kids on Mother’s Day, but not all day. I recharge my batteries, and I’m a better mom for it.

Some of you are such black-and-white martyrs, I swear.

[Anonymous]

My only request on Mother's Day is that I don't cook, do any chores, walk the dog, etc. I'm at home just doing my hobbies. It's a glorious day.

[Anonymous]

We are spending all day today together doing fun things. Tomorrow, DH is taking the kids to his mom and leaving me home alone. Best of both worlds!

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the whole post.

I absolutely understanding wanting a day to yourself once in a while. I think that you can achieve that goal without messaging to your kids that what you want most to celebrate being a mother is a break from them?

Why not ask your DH for a day off the week before so you can rest up for mother's day, or a gift certificate for a weekend in a hotel for the weekend afterwards?

[Anonymous]

My mother always went to the spa for the weekend on Mother's Day. It made sense to me.

Tomorrow we are going to brunch outside, and then DH is taking the kids on an adventure somewhere and I'm going to take a bath and lie in bed reading magazines, eating jelly beans and popcorn, and talking to my dog until we meet up for dinner.

[Anonymous]

I think whatever you want to do sounds good. Also, as mentioned, doesn’t have to be one or the other. Every year DH has the kids help with making cards and breakfast for me and we all eat together. After, I get spa day in with my local mom and sisters. Special dinner with our family, mom and dad, and sisters' families at a local restaurant. Obviously we didn't do that last year but planning the same tomorrow, with dinner at home instead. Really looking forward to it all.

[Anonymous]

We just have one kid so agree with the sentiment to spend Mother's day with my child. Perhaps if we had more kids I might feel differently. But totally on board with moms doing what they want no judgement here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read the whole post.

I absolutely understanding wanting a day to yourself once in a while. I think that you can achieve that goal without messaging to your kids that what you want most to celebrate being a mother is a break from them?

Why not ask your DH for a day off the week before so you can rest up for mother's day, or a gift certificate for a weekend in a hotel for the weekend afterwards?

I think it’s also possible to treat yourself to an afternoon relaxing without messaging to your kids that you want to get away from them. My kids are little but my husband set up a day at the spa for me from him and the kids. We did brunch and then they were excited to give me my gift. Rather than upset, they were happy they got to give me a gift and that I got to enjoy it.

I think it’s important to model self care as not something to do because you want to escape your life/kids/husband but as an enjoyable and necessary thing your family should support you in doing.

[Anonymous]

I hate that OP's definition of "mothering" is clearly doing all the hard work and chores. It's just sexist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mom, I was taken aback when I saw that other moms of young kids were planning to celebrate the day by not being with their kids. Sure, we all need a break now and then. But specifically asking to not have your kids around as the way to celebrate being a mother seems really odd to me.

How do the little children feel about this? I imagine this would have hurt my feelings when I was a child.

You think that it would have hurt your feelings as a child is, on Mother's Day, your Mom wanted to do something that she wanted to do, that didn't involve you?

I hope you've since sought help for . . . whatever this affliction is called.

Brilliant.

[Anonymous]

On Mother’s Day all mothers should do maximum mothering. 3 meals? Cook and clean up after 10 of them. A ride to soccer practice? No way. Mom should be shuttling back and forth from practices her kids aren’t even attending for at least half the day. They mustn’t leave their children at all all day (that includes bathroom breaks)! We need you reading with the kids, drawing, adventuring outside, no breaks. Cuddles will be enforced. MAKE THOSE MEMORIES. And then clean up after them. Pro tip: send dad away for the day so no one interrupts all your mothering.
These moms going out for a manicure alone are scarring their children and it shouldn’t be tolerated.

[Anonymous]

Lol I am planning on spending Mother’s Day with my family tomorrow, though my DH has been a total bum today and I just changed yet another poopy diaper (why is he always MIA for the poops, how does he know????) and dealt with an absolutely epic toddler meltdown while DH was on a bike ride, so increasingly I am thinking I might spend the day in the bathtub or in bed and just let these heathens figure it out because mama is DONE.

Also, my young kids don’t know what Mother’s Day is. They don’t really care. They aren’t going to be in therapy in 20 years saying “oh no, our mother who loved us and cared for us every day decided to spend Mother’s Day driving around listening to music while our dad tried to figure out how to use the vacuum cleaner for the first time ever. DID OUR MOTHER EVEN LOVE US????”

Come on.

[Anonymous]

Just checked into the Ritz so I can have an evening and morning off, sleep in and order room service. SAHM to several children including one with severe special needs and I have been with my children at home 24/7 for the last YEAR so this is my one break. Will be home by noon to spend the day with them. Zero guilt.