At wits' end with potty training 3yr old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nanny is an option.

Other options
1) Stays with a family with a potty trained boy his age - peer pressure
2) Stays with a male role model he wants to impress like an uncle
3) Unfamiliar setting with no diapers preferably with other kids where he would be embarrassed to be having accidents (e.g. camping)
4) If you have a back yard or a house without carpet he loses his pants privileges (preferably start this out on a 3 day weekend). Train the baby too.

Someone is going to say we're evil, but my son did one ninja poop (ran off and hid to crap his pants) and DH sprayed him with the diaper sprayer - that was the last ninja poop

Lots of the items on that list don't work during COVID. And basically none of them work if we can't get the daycare to go along with it.

Camping is still on and you can't put this on the daycare's plate. They have a higher ratio of children to adults than you do.

Camping would not be an option with our other child. That would be a very dangerous situation.

Then you go alone with him. I see why your kid isn't trained, you are lightening quick to come up with excuses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were doing pull ups at 4. no big deal.

Very big deal...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nanny is an option.

Other options
1) Stays with a family with a potty trained boy his age - peer pressure
2) Stays with a male role model he wants to impress like an uncle
3) Unfamiliar setting with no diapers preferably with other kids where he would be embarrassed to be having accidents (e.g. camping)
4) If you have a back yard or a house without carpet he loses his pants privileges (preferably start this out on a 3 day weekend). Train the baby too.

Someone is going to say we're evil, but my son did one ninja poop (ran off and hid to crap his pants) and DH sprayed him with the diaper sprayer - that was the last ninja poop

Lots of the items on that list don't work during COVID. And basically none of them work if we can't get the daycare to go along with it.

Camping is still on and you can't put this on the daycare's plate. They have a higher ratio of children to adults than you do.

Camping would not be an option with our other child. That would be a very dangerous situation.

Plus, I'll note, who with small children still has leave from work after a year of various COVID closures of daycares and child care facilities?

Unless you work in an emergency room or mcdonalds, we're on a 4 day weekend right now, are we not?

[Anonymous]

Is he more compliant at daycare? Is he willing to sit on the potty there at all or occasionally go there?

[Anonymous]

OP, have you tried giving your child more control over other parts of his life? Can you let him make his own breakfast? Give him choices for everything instead of telling him what's going to happen? Let him have some control, that's what this is about.

[Anonymous]

Do it on a weekend. If he pees or poops on his underwear he gets no underwear for the rest of the day. Be prepared to stay in most of the weekend. But let other parent go out with sibling. Let him know he’s missing out thru his own choices. If he has a tantrum tell him he has to have it in his room. Carry him there if necessary. He is 3.5, you need to get serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you tried giving your child more control over other parts of his life? Can you let him make his own breakfast? Give him choices for everything instead of telling him what's going to happen? Let him have some control, that's what this is about.

Make his own breakfast? Is that normal for a three year old? He refuses to eat anything besides yogurt anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it on a weekend. If he pees or poops on his underwear he gets no underwear for the rest of the day. Be prepared to stay in most of the weekend. But let other parent go out with sibling. Let him know he’s missing out thru his own choices. If he has a tantrum tell him he has to have it in his room. Carry him there if necessary. He is 3.5, you need to get serious.

That's what we've been doing. We had a 4 day weekend and thought we could make more progress. We took away toys and screens, too. Didn't help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nanny is an option.

Other options
1) Stays with a family with a potty trained boy his age - peer pressure
2) Stays with a male role model he wants to impress like an uncle
3) Unfamiliar setting with no diapers preferably with other kids where he would be embarrassed to be having accidents (e.g. camping)
4) If you have a back yard or a house without carpet he loses his pants privileges (preferably start this out on a 3 day weekend). Train the baby too.

Someone is going to say we're evil, but my son did one ninja poop (ran off and hid to crap his pants) and DH sprayed him with the diaper sprayer - that was the last ninja poop

Lots of the items on that list don't work during COVID. And basically none of them work if we can't get the daycare to go along with it.

Camping is still on and you can't put this on the daycare's plate. They have a higher ratio of children to adults than you do.

Camping would not be an option with our other child. That would be a very dangerous situation.

Plus, I'll note, who with small children still has leave from work after a year of various COVID closures of daycares and child care facilities?

Unless you work in an emergency room or mcdonalds, we're on a 4 day weekend right now, are we not?

Exactly. We actually did have a four day weekend, but my spouse is an essential worker who gets very little time-off typically.

[Anonymous]

Instead of taking away have you tried earning? Sticker chart for successful potty trips to work towards getting something new he would enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nanny is an option.

Other options
1) Stays with a family with a potty trained boy his age - peer pressure
2) Stays with a male role model he wants to impress like an uncle
3) Unfamiliar setting with no diapers preferably with other kids where he would be embarrassed to be having accidents (e.g. camping)
4) If you have a back yard or a house without carpet he loses his pants privileges (preferably start this out on a 3 day weekend). Train the baby too.

Someone is going to say we're evil, but my son did one ninja poop (ran off and hid to crap his pants) and DH sprayed him with the diaper sprayer - that was the last ninja poop

Lots of the items on that list don't work during COVID. And basically none of them work if we can't get the daycare to go along with it.

Camping is still on and you can't put this on the daycare's plate. They have a higher ratio of children to adults than you do.

Camping would not be an option with our other child. That would be a very dangerous situation.

Then you go alone with him. I see why your kid isn't trained, you are lightening quick to come up with excuses

F you. If you think you can do better, we'll set up a time to meet and you can take him for couple weeks. If not, then STFU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it on a weekend. If he pees or poops on his underwear he gets no underwear for the rest of the day. Be prepared to stay in most of the weekend. But let other parent go out with sibling. Let him know he’s missing out thru his own choices. If he has a tantrum tell him he has to have it in his room. Carry him there if necessary. He is 3.5, you need to get serious.

That's what we've been doing. We had a 4 day weekend and thought we could make more progress. We took away toys and screens, too. Didn't help.

Taking away toys doesn’t make sense. Same with screens. You’re basically teaching him that going to bathroom in the potty makes life horrible.

[Anonymous]

Completely cut out potty training and start parenting books instead. I think there's a disconnect between your kids and yourself and your son is struggling for control.

Oh crap is a book for 20-30 month olds. After that, it has to be the kid's decision and you have to talk a lot more about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it on a weekend. If he pees or poops on his underwear he gets no underwear for the rest of the day. Be prepared to stay in most of the weekend. But let other parent go out with sibling. Let him know he’s missing out thru his own choices. If he has a tantrum tell him he has to have it in his room. Carry him there if necessary. He is 3.5, you need to get serious.

That's what we've been doing. We had a 4 day weekend and thought we could make more progress. We took away toys and screens, too. Didn't help.

Taking away toys doesn’t make sense. Same with screens. You’re basically teaching him that going to bathroom in the potty makes life horrible.

Ok. Got a better idea then? How do I motivate him?

I should clarify that I do give him screen-time specifically when he's on the potty. Just not any other time. The toys are recent, and partly motivated by him throwing toys while having potty-related tantrums. We took the main toy away we'll give him a peice back when he uses the potty. And we take anything away he throws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Completely cut out potty training and start parenting books instead. I think there's a disconnect between your kids and yourself and your son is struggling for control.

Oh crap is a book for 20-30 month olds. After that, it has to be the kid's decision and you have to talk a lot more about it.

I've never found a parenting book that isn't crap. I've got a bookshelf full of them. They all seem to assume you have a child that wants to please you or that responds to positive reinforcement.