Strangers who talk to toddlers having tantrums

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had random people on the street tell me loudly “it’s hard being a toddler” when my toddler was melting down. He had epic meltdowns for about 2 years. It always made me feel bad when people said this. I heard them saying “have some sympathy for your struggling kid you crappy mom”.

You completely misinterpreted what they were saying. They were trying to make you feel better. It wasn’t a criticism of your parenting.

[Anonymous]

This makes me lose all faith in humanity.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you shouldn't try unsolicited intervention because parents can be crazy or feel insulted by the helping hand. Parents should realize that most people have empathy for them during awful moments of parenthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had random people on the street tell me loudly “it’s hard being a toddler” when my toddler was melting down. He had epic meltdowns for about 2 years. It always made me feel bad when people said this. I heard them saying “have some sympathy for your struggling kid you crappy mom”.

You completely misinterpreted what they were saying. They were trying to make you feel better. It wasn’t a criticism of your parenting.

+1

It is a way of saying, “Hang in there, kids are tough,” while also showing compassion for the kid. It is a way of showing that the situation is totally normal and that no one is doing anything wrong. Normally, it is said to a parent who looks embarrassed or flustered.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t seen the baby talk or weird “mean-Mommy” comments, but once my DD and I saw a woman with 3 under four struggling with a tantruming three year old “big kid”, a two year old in the cart seat, a baby in a sling, and a full grocery cart. She offered to hold the toddler’s hand as they walked through the automatic doors. And the kid agreed. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had random people on the street tell me loudly “it’s hard being a toddler” when my toddler was melting down. He had epic meltdowns for about 2 years. It always made me feel bad when people said this. I heard them saying “have some sympathy for your struggling kid you crappy mom”.

It’s probably years too late but when I’ve said that to people I mean: being a toddler is frustrating - it’s not anything you are doing as a parent and i am sympathizing with you...sort of been there done that! I guess trying to tell you I’m not judging you that your kid is having a meltdown in the first place

[Anonymous]

Ha, ha, ha. You might not even know if, but your kid might have been given a stern look when screaming or throwing a tantrum. I've seen men and women do that with parents oblivious to the interaction.
Stops them in their tracks right away.

It is actually hilarious watching toddlers act for parents. Most parents don't get it and you give in, causing the worst tantrum. Funny, when you give in many kids start the worse tantrum only then in the grocery store.

BTW, I had seen toddlers who look their parent, have the scream from hell ready, and then when you turn away for a second, stop, give people around a look, and then decided that you are reacting appropriately, meaning fussing and about to get them the stupid candy, and then start trashing on purpose.
It is quite a show to watch.

[Anonymous]

It wasn’t a full on tantrum, but I once spent a couple minutes trying to decide if I should turn around and talk to the naughty (clearly extremely bored) kid on the metro. Finally did, we had a nice chat about where he had been earlier and my kids who were about his age, and his harried parents were very appreciative.

[Anonymous]

I hate it too OP. Kids tantrum. Sure you can and should leave wherever you are. But it isn’t as if you can snap your fingers and disappear-wouldn’t that be nice. The process of getting you, kid, possibly siblings, you cart the stuff in it all out of the store isn’t always easy and quick. When I am attempting to make a quick exit and a stranger wants to stop to talk my upset child, yep, not helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had random people on the street tell me loudly “it’s hard being a toddler” when my toddler was melting down. He had epic meltdowns for about 2 years. It always made me feel bad when people said this. I heard them saying “have some sympathy for your struggling kid you crappy mom”.

You completely misinterpreted what they were saying. They were trying to make you feel better. It wasn’t a criticism of your parenting.

+1

It is a way of saying, “Hang in there, kids are tough,” while also showing compassion for the kid. It is a way of showing that the situation is totally normal and that no one is doing anything wrong. Normally, it is said to a parent who looks embarrassed or flustered.

+1 I will be more careful using it in the future, though I don’t tend to say it to complete strangers. It is meant as “I see you mom, toddlers are hard!”
I’m sorry to the PP who heard this as being told they were a crappy mom. obviously that helps
no one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It takes a village. They're just trying to help.

This. They still remember their own kids tantruming and think a distraction of a stranger may divert them from whatever it is the kid is tantruming about. Sometimes it works, most time it doesn’t but hey, worth a try.

[Anonymous]

Your tantrum in toddlers are gross snotty nosed beasts. enjoy them. Mine were not that way. Infants being fussy is understandable. Seems you need help with parenting. When they are tweens you will still be making excuses.

[Anonymous]

OMG I watched the most epic meltdown in the park yesterday. It went on and on and I needed up thinking did that child get hit by a car or something? Just lying on the ground screaming. I thought about trying to help but I remembered ...
Once we were stuck in the worlds longest a thanksgiving traffic and my 2.5 yo freaked out. Started screaming like she had a broken leg (probably a stomachache) We pulled into a rest stop hoping some fresh air and out of the car would help. I just sat her on the ground. She was out of her mind screaming. One helpful passer by CALLED THE POLICE!
We scooped her up and checked into a hotel. No more traffic for us/ her. Grew up to be a perfectly normal kid. Sometimes life is just too much for toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Do you know that in many Subsaharan countries, strangers help parents with their kids? As in, waitresses in restaurants will hold and take care of your baby and kid while you eat? Not bcs it is their job, but bcs that is their culture?
My dd had the most horrendous GERD as a baby. Heck, she has it still at 19. That meant that she screamed in her car seat during any drive, so much that it was heard with windows up by all the pedestrians? She would scream if held too!
And that nothing ever helped? I am pretty sure that this whole country still has the stories of the worst mzungu mom in the country!
People would knock on the window to help my baby, and I never got upset. I knew they thought they were helping me out. However frustrating it was?

[Anonymous]

How funny is it for all of us in the line at the grocery store watching a toddler look at us, look at the candy and then let out a bloody fake scream and watch the fake cry? Then watch mom scramble thinking kids is in earnest?