Strangers who talk to toddlers having tantrums

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the sage advice I'd been given on DCUM, I am one of those 780-month olds who have stopped doing anything when it comes to someone else and their child.

I posted about a child getting ready to fall head-first out of a grocery cart (mom had her back turned momentarily) and I was ripped a new one for being intrusive, judgemental, you name it.

Since then other people's children are invisible to me. No more warnings of immediate danger, no more offers to help, no more smiles or friendly overtures.

It is a different world than the one I was raised in and fully understand that now.

See, you can teach an old dog new tricks. I've learned my lesson.

What this really is...is that you are sad and angry that you are now invisible to society.

This response made me laugh. I know this is difficult to fathom, but there are people of all ages who are fulfilled by family and friends and don't derive their self worth from being "seen" by strangers. Maybe if you weren't so worried about how you are being seen by society, you might be a kinder and happier person.

Oh of course there are people like that. And then there are the attention-seeking strangers who insert themselves, uninvited, when a child is having a tantrum. Go away, thanks!

Did you not read the post? It said child was in imminent danger. That's not the same as a tantrum.

I guess the best response is to follow your advice and not insert yourself.

So let's all wait till the kid gets hurt and then inform authorities that they were not being properly watched. Let CPS figure it out.

^Take down license plate, describe situation, time, location, parent and child and let the chips fall where they may. Anonymous reports are OK. Store cameras can also corroborate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the sage advice I'd been given on DCUM, I am one of those 780-month olds who have stopped doing anything when it comes to someone else and their child.

I posted about a child getting ready to fall head-first out of a grocery cart (mom had her back turned momentarily) and I was ripped a new one for being intrusive, judgemental, you name it.

Since then other people's children are invisible to me. No more warnings of immediate danger, no more offers to help, no more smiles or friendly overtures.

It is a different world than the one I was raised in and fully understand that now.

See, you can teach an old dog new tricks. I've learned my lesson.

What this really is...is that you are sad and angry that you are now invisible to society.

This response made me laugh. I know this is difficult to fathom, but there are people of all ages who are fulfilled by family and friends and don't derive their self worth from being "seen" by strangers. Maybe if you weren't so worried about how you are being seen by society, you might be a kinder and happier person.

Oh of course there are people like that. And then there are the attention-seeking strangers who insert themselves, uninvited, when a child is having a tantrum. Go away, thanks!

Or you could take you screaming kid home. Problem solved.

My kiss literally never had a public tantrum. But it happens. So go home to your Fur Baby and leave the families to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the sage advice I'd been given on DCUM, I am one of those 780-month olds who have stopped doing anything when it comes to someone else and their child.

I posted about a child getting ready to fall head-first out of a grocery cart (mom had her back turned momentarily) and I was ripped a new one for being intrusive, judgemental, you name it.

Since then other people's children are invisible to me. No more warnings of immediate danger, no more offers to help, no more smiles or friendly overtures.

It is a different world than the one I was raised in and fully understand that now.

See, you can teach an old dog new tricks. I've learned my lesson.

I’m sorry you were treated poorly, but you should not become the negative person here. Act like you were raised and care.

DP. That's the point. Expressions of caring are frowned upon and complained about. Why shrug off a well-intentioned but unwanted offer of help when you can chastise someone trying to exhibit kindness? The reality is that the OP and others are insecure and embarrassed about not being in control of a situation and view the offer of help as condemnation of their parenting. There's no winning with negative, insecure people. A polite no thank you would cover the interaction, but instead, OP has to play the victim.

Winner.

Indeed. The DP has nailed it. Every one of the PPs blathering on about how no one should ever try to help them are deeply insecure about their parenting abilities.

I can't believe the woman who thinks the comment "life is hard when you are a toddler" or similar is an insult. Are you missing the humor chip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the sage advice I'd been given on DCUM, I am one of those 780-month olds who have stopped doing anything when it comes to someone else and their child.

I posted about a child getting ready to fall head-first out of a grocery cart (mom had her back turned momentarily) and I was ripped a new one for being intrusive, judgemental, you name it.

Since then other people's children are invisible to me. No more warnings of immediate danger, no more offers to help, no more smiles or friendly overtures.

It is a different world than the one I was raised in and fully understand that now.

See, you can teach an old dog new tricks. I've learned my lesson.

I’m sorry you were treated poorly, but you should not become the negative person here. Act like you were raised and care.

DP. That's the point. Expressions of caring are frowned upon and complained about. Why shrug off a well-intentioned but unwanted offer of help when you can chastise someone trying to exhibit kindness? The reality is that the OP and others are insecure and embarrassed about not being in control of a situation and view the offer of help as condemnation of their parenting. There's no winning with negative, insecure people. A polite no thank you would cover the interaction, but instead, OP has to play the victim.

Winner.

Indeed. The DP has nailed it. Every one of the PPs blathering on about how no one should ever try to help them are deeply insecure about their parenting abilities.

I can't believe the woman who thinks the comment "life is hard when you are a toddler" or similar is an insult. Are you missing the humor chip?

On, please. "A polite no thank you" would lead to PP and her kind getting huffy no ranting on DCUM and gossiping to her friends just the same. Attention-seekers gonna attention-seek.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you deal with this strange, attention-seeking behavior in 780-month-olds?

It's always middle-aged men and women who squat down and address tantruming toddlers directly, with exaggerated facial gestures and a sing-songy voice “What’s wrooooooong, sweet-ums???” It. Literally. Never. Helps. and is so annoying/invasive.

Would you prefer they looked at you an said, "HEY! Lazy! Other people exist on this planet, too! Pick your little rat up and take it home!"?

God forbid someone should try to be helpful

[Anonymous]

This thread of outraged parents who don't want advice from strangers has been insightful.

At grocery store yesterday. Mom was busy talking to cashier and digging in purse. Toddler was in cart, reaches over and begins to stick fingers on/around moving belt. Tiny fingers could easily have gotten stuck in sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks to the sage advice I'd been given on DCUM, I am one of those 780-month olds who have stopped doing anything when it comes to someone else and their child.

I posted about a child getting ready to fall head-first out of a grocery cart (mom had her back turned momentarily) and I was ripped a new one for being intrusive, judgemental, you name it.

Since then other people's children are invisible to me. No more warnings of immediate danger, no more offers to help, no more smiles or friendly overtures.

It is a different world than the one I was raised in and fully understand that now.

See, you can teach an old dog new tricks. I've learned my lesson.

What this really is...is that you are sad and angry that you are now invisible to society.

This response made me laugh. I know this is difficult to fathom, but there are people of all ages who are fulfilled by family and friends and don't derive their self worth from being "seen" by strangers. Maybe if you weren't so worried about how you are being seen by society, you might be a kinder and happier person.

Oh of course there are people like that. And then there are the attention-seeking strangers who insert themselves, uninvited, when a child is having a tantrum. Go away, thanks!

Or you could take you screaming kid home. Problem solved.

My kiss literally never had a public tantrum. But it happens. So go home to your Fur Baby and leave the families to it.

LOL. I'm a mother of 3, including a set of twins. I was out and about by myself all the time when my kids were young. My kids never had tantrums in public either. Maybe I'm lucky, or maybe my worldview that recognizes not everything is about me or my family helped me to make better choices. Assuming a neurotypical child, you plan your outings and leave as soon as there is a hint of trouble. I couldn't let things to the point when one started a tantrum because I was outnumbered, so I just called it and left wherever we were. Yes, sometimes it sucks to leave your errands undone, but most tantrums happen when you are pushing a kid too far.

Honestly, judgment and your snarky tone aside, some this is confidence, experience, and necessity. With three small kids, I couldn't afford to have more than one melt down, so it was easier for me to make a decision to leave an outing, store, or wherever we were. You learn as you go to recognize the signs.