Went through husbands phone...entertaining other women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's never going to change. Honestly I wouldn't even bring it up or confront him. Talk to a lawyer and possibly a financial advisor and get your ducks in a row. Stash away money. Make plans, take your time if you need to. Don't tell him you're planning a divorce, let it be a nice surprise. And I agree you should get tested for STDs.

We’ve only been married two years, no assets together. Got a savings account thats all mine (that he just learned about). Got a joint account but I don’t put anything in there cuz he’ll just spend it.

Where is his money?

He has his own separate checking account. And just got added another line to our phone plan for the “business” he wants to start. But I think it’s a side phone...he texted his other phone the code so I now have it. Dummy

Oh boy OP my cousin was married to a guy like this and he got into tremendous debt through credit cards etc. at the end of the marriage just out of spite and ruined her credit. Get out ASAP before he starts accumulating debt for his “business” that you will be on the hook for.

[Anonymous]

This guy is a pig, OP. You know the answer to your own questions, don’t be a doormat.

[Anonymous]

I'm very sorry, OP. Therapy, lawyer, start taking all the money and assets you can now. You need to calmly and measuredly plan an exit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you overreacting? Is this for real? NO, you are not. If it’s this bad and you are only two years in, don’t waste your time trying to salvage this. He’s never going to change, get your ducks in a row.

This. How is this even a question? He is lazy, lies to you about many things, and is cheating on you..

Leave now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a private investigator if you really need/want evidence. Also consult with a lawyer to discuss all your options. Just because you meet with a lawyer doesn't mean you have to divorce. Knowledge is power. It does sound like he's cheating. Lay low and gather proof before you confront.

Do this... STAT.

Even if you need to borrom money from a friend or relative to hire the PI, it's worth it!

They'll do a deep dive on his social media presence, his calls & texts, when he has to "leave the house", you'll get it all.

Then you'll know for sure... hire the PI, like now.

Honestly, this money would be better spent on an attorney. Evidence gathered is unlikely to make difference in the divorce, and anyway, you already have enough access to devices to continue to monitor and you have seen enough to know the marriage is over.

Focus on getting a lawyer and preparing to get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really sorry. Sounds like my first husband. Very glad to have left. I could not take the lying. It would have made me insane. I am currently married to a very loyal man who has excellent values - it’s a relief not to need to snoop or worry.

+1. divorced due to these types of lies and gaslighting. It will drive you crazy and will always be your fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need advice..went through my husbands phone as I found messages of him entertaining other women. Some are sexual texts, but I can’t figure out if he’s had sex with anyone yet. It’s a lot of flirting with different women and one sent lingerie pics. I’ve also seen dating apps, swinger apps, and a transgender dating (that’s another conversation) app on his phone. Last year a friend of mine told me she sent him on a dating app, but he denied it and said it was old.

He’s also a compulsive liar...says he’s going “in the office” but was playing golf one day, two days later said “I’m going to the office” and went to his friends house (a gay woman) to smoke weed and take his calls. He also find every excuse to be out of the house (golf, bike riding,meetings. Etc). We have two small children and I keep thinking he wanted to get married because of the kids.

We got into a heated argument about the texts because he blamed me for having to lie about where he’s going. No apologies just deflection. I’m not texting men “I love you” or communicating with other men like inappropriately. This is considered emotionally cheating right?

Need help, do I divorce or am I over reacting?

OP, not to pry to heavily in your personal life. Do you happen to live in Maryland? Think I know who this man is.

Lol, as if this is so unique.

There are tens if not 100s of thousands of men in MD doing the same thing. Sweet summer child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a private investigator if you really need/want evidence. Also consult with a lawyer to discuss all your options. Just because you meet with a lawyer doesn't mean you have to divorce. Knowledge is power. It does sound like he's cheating. Lay low and gather proof before you confront.

Do this... STAT.

Even if you need to borrom money from a friend or relative to hire the PI, it's worth it!

They'll do a deep dive on his social media presence, his calls & texts, when he has to "leave the house", you'll get it all.

Then you'll know for sure... hire the PI, like now.

Honestly, this money would be better spent on an attorney. Evidence gathered is unlikely to make difference in the divorce, and anyway, you already have enough access to devices to continue to monitor and you have seen enough to know the marriage is over.

Focus on getting a lawyer and preparing to get out.

Yeah, people always talk about "gathering evidence," but it won't matter. Most states have no-fault divorce, it's not going to affect custody or child support or the division of assets or anything.

I think you're imagining that you'll confront him with the evidence and he'll just break down and confess or something, but generally speaking, whatever reaction you get won't make you feel better or give you closure or whatever you're imagining. Just get a lawyer and divorce already.

[Anonymous]

What's the transgender dating app called? Asking for a friend...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need advice..went through my husbands phone as I found messages of him entertaining other women. Some are sexual texts, but I can’t figure out if he’s had sex with anyone yet. It’s a lot of flirting with different women and one sent lingerie pics. I’ve also seen dating apps, swinger apps, and a transgender dating (that’s another conversation) app on his phone. Last year a friend of mine told me she sent him on a dating app, but he denied it and said it was old.

He’s also a compulsive liar...says he’s going “in the office” but was playing golf one day, two days later said “I’m going to the office” and went to his friends house (a gay woman) to smoke weed and take his calls. He also find every excuse to be out of the house (golf, bike riding,meetings. Etc). We have two small children and I keep thinking he wanted to get married because of the kids.

We got into a heated argument about the texts because he blamed me for having to lie about where he’s going. No apologies just deflection. I’m not texting men “I love you” or communicating with other men like inappropriately. This is considered emotionally cheating right?

Need help, do I divorce or am I over reacting?

OP, not to pry to heavily in your personal life. Do you happen to live in Maryland? Think I know who this man is.

Lol, as if this is so unique.

There are tens if not 100s of thousands of men in MD doing the same thing. Sweet summer child.

+1 Know a guy in Maryland into groups. Everyone in our crowd knows he is married with two kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are the dumb wives I don't get. Get some freakin' self-respect omg!

This. And there have been a lot of them lately. It's just sad and pathetic and makes me wonder what is wrong with them.

They have young children and they don't have jobs or the skills to be able to find jobs that will pay them enough to cover their same cost of living PLUS childcare for two kids, THAT'S what's "wrong" with them. You can only make so much money selling cricut-made party supplies, PP.

[Anonymous]

You have a crazy roommate not a husband. Why do you need ‘evidence’ ? It’s not going to help in court. Just initiate a separation and talk with a mediator to get a legal boundaries in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This guy is a pig, OP. You know the answer to your own questions, don’t be a doormat.

+1. Sorry, OP. But get out fir your kids if no other reason. You will screw them up with major themes around what relationships should look like otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a private investigator if you really need/want evidence. Also consult with a lawyer to discuss all your options. Just because you meet with a lawyer doesn't mean you have to divorce. Knowledge is power. It does sound like he's cheating. Lay low and gather proof before you confront.

Do this... STAT.

Even if you need to borrom money from a friend or relative to hire the PI, it's worth it!

They'll do a deep dive on his social media presence, his calls & texts, when he has to "leave the house", you'll get it all.

Then you'll know for sure... hire the PI, like now.

Honestly, this money would be better spent on an attorney. Evidence gathered is unlikely to make difference in the divorce, and anyway, you already have enough access to devices to continue to monitor and you have seen enough to know the marriage is over.

Focus on getting a lawyer and preparing to get out.

I agree. Waste of money to get a PI. Go see a good lawyer. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Need advice..went through my husbands phone as I found messages of him entertaining other women. Some are sexual texts, but I can’t figure out if he’s had sex with anyone yet. It’s a lot of flirting with different women and one sent lingerie pics. I’ve also seen dating apps, swinger apps, and a transgender dating (that’s another conversation) app on his phone. Last year a friend of mine told me she sent him on a dating app, but he denied it and said it was old.

He’s also a compulsive liar...says he’s going “in the office” but was playing golf one day, two days later said “I’m going to the office” and went to his friends house (a gay woman) to smoke weed and take his calls. He also find every excuse to be out of the house (golf, bike riding,meetings. Etc). We have two small children and I keep thinking he wanted to get married because of the kids.

We got into a heated argument about the texts because he blamed me for having to lie about where he’s going. No apologies just deflection. I’m not texting men “I love you” or communicating with other men like inappropriately. This is considered emotionally cheating right?

Need help, do I divorce or am I over reacting?

OP, not to pry to heavily in your personal life. Do you happen to live in Maryland? Think I know who this man is.

Lol, as if this is so unique.

There are tens if not 100s of thousands of men in MD doing the same thing. Sweet summer child.

+1 Know a guy in Maryland into groups. Everyone in our crowd knows he is married with two kids.

yikes, guess they are multiple men out there. We’re no in Maryland though. If the group of ppl know why not tell the wife, or maybe she already knows