Went through husbands phone...entertaining other women

[Anonymous]

Try counseling, but once a cheater always a cheater IMO. You’ll always have to worry about what he’s doing

[Anonymous]

Screw counseling. Get a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a private investigator if you really need/want evidence. Also consult with a lawyer to discuss all your options. Just because you meet with a lawyer doesn't mean you have to divorce. Knowledge is power. It does sound like he's cheating. Lay low and gather proof before you confront.

Do this... STAT.

Even if you need to borrom money from a friend or relative to hire the PI, it's worth it!

They'll do a deep dive on his social media presence, his calls & texts, when he has to "leave the house", you'll get it all.

Then you'll know for sure... hire the PI, like now.

Honestly, this money would be better spent on an attorney. Evidence gathered is unlikely to make difference in the divorce, and anyway, you already have enough access to devices to continue to monitor and you have seen enough to know the marriage is over.

Focus on getting a lawyer and preparing to get out.

+1

[Anonymous]

Happened to me before. Wish I would’ve divorced sooner. The kids will be ok, they need a happy mother not one in pain & staying around for optics

[Anonymous]

Maybe, just maybe, you can excuse and work through one extramarital flirtation or even affair. This is a pattern. Your DH either has a sex addiction or a major character flaw. You can’t work with either of these and need to move on before you lose your sanity.

[Anonymous]

Definitely divorce. What horrible role models you would be for children, in the relationship department.

Please get therapy to figure out why you would ever consider staying with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to leave him, OP. Before your kids start thinking his behavior is normal or you get an STD from him. Sorry.

Get copies of all the evidence now while you can.

No matter what, THIS. I hope you screen grabbed all of that communication, texted it to your own phone from his and then deleted those texts on his end so he can't see that you sent them to your phone. Opinions about self-respect aside, don't be dumb. DOCUMENT. Screengrab his home screen and get all of the dating apps, too.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm...is it cheating if he's just doing it right in front of her and leaving evidence all over his phone and then just making her feel stupid when she confronts him? I don't think he's cheating, he doesn't care and is just really really good at gaslighting. So it's worse than cheating. Part of his thrill is convincing you that you're imagining things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm...is it cheating if he's just doing it right in front of her and leaving evidence all over his phone and then just making her feel stupid when she confronts him? I don't think he's cheating, he doesn't care and is just really really good at gaslighting. So it's worse than cheating. Part of his thrill is convincing you that you're imagining things.

He’s not leaving it around, I looked through his locked phone. Also I recorded it but it only lasted on my iCloud for 30 days in my email does anyone know how to retrieve it? It’s already past the add’l 30 days it gives in the “trash”. Of course he’s deleted from his phone already so I can’t go back in and record again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to leave him, OP. Before your kids start thinking his behavior is normal or you get an STD from him. Sorry.

Get copies of all the evidence now while you can.

No matter what, THIS. I hope you screen grabbed all of that communication, texted it to your own phone from his and then deleted those texts on his end so he can't see that you sent them to your phone. Opinions about self-respect aside, don't be dumb. DOCUMENT. Screengrab his home screen and get all of the dating apps, too.

I don’t get why people obsess over evidence. Most states don’t care about affairs when it come to divorce, and these people have no community property anyways. Why bother? Hire a lawyer, hammer out your custody agreement, and move on. Gathering up a bunch of screen grabs of him having lurid conversations with other people helps no one.

[Anonymous]

Please divorce him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm...is it cheating if he's just doing it right in front of her and leaving evidence all over his phone and then just making her feel stupid when she confronts him? I don't think he's cheating, he doesn't care and is just really really good at gaslighting. So it's worse than cheating. Part of his thrill is convincing you that you're imagining things.

I don’t think you can classify the levels of disgusting behavior. Worse than cheating? I could tell you a doozy of the gaslighting and sh@t that went down with some cheaters.

[Anonymous]

Male perspective. Either he wants to be a relationship with you or he doesn’t. His actions make it clear that you are not priority number one. Decide if you are ok with this

And, no he will not change. So don’t hold out hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to leave him, OP. Before your kids start thinking his behavior is normal or you get an STD from him. Sorry.

Get copies of all the evidence now while you can.

No matter what, THIS. I hope you screen grabbed all of that communication, texted it to your own phone from his and then deleted those texts on his end so he can't see that you sent them to your phone. Opinions about self-respect aside, don't be dumb. DOCUMENT. Screengrab his home screen and get all of the dating apps, too.

I don’t get why people obsess over evidence. Most states don’t care about affairs when it come to divorce, and these people have no community property anyways. Why bother? Hire a lawyer, hammer out your custody agreement, and move on. Gathering up a bunch of screen grabs of him having lurid conversations with other people helps no one.

States don't care, lawyers don't care, but friends and family do. My ex tried to say I was the cheater to get friends to sympathize with him, fully knowing I had never even been with anyone except him.

[Anonymous]

^ alimony is at play if wife was cheating on most states. They often won’t get it.