Letting a smoker stay with you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems weird to be worried about the smoking outside but not COVID.

I would say no unless he has been staying at home. If he has, I would say yes but he has a coat outside he wears for smoking and he washes his hand when he comes in. The door to where he sleeps stays closed (because all of his stuff is going to smell, too).

Also, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Offer your home for one week. After that he needs to stay with his parents or get a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Whaaaaaa? The guy is smoking OUTSIDE. How is this a dealbreaker? I mean, sure, it's a bit smelly when they come in, but it's kind of an emergency. I can't imagine having such a stick up my butt that I tried to get a family member to quit smoking before visiting me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

+1 billion
There's so many ignorant people around it's sad. Yes, the lingering smell is unpleasant, I get it, but if you're not directly inhaling the smoke, nothing's going to happen to your precious health after 7 days.

Its not panicky. Its boundaries. They have an addiction. I dont need to support it in my household. If you cant stop for a week, stay somewhere else.

Ok, then set your boundary. But you cannot control other peoples’ reactions to your boundaries. Figure out how you will deal with your husband and his family going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

+1 billion
There's so many ignorant people around it's sad. Yes, the lingering smell is unpleasant, I get it, but if you're not directly inhaling the smoke, nothing's going to happen to your precious health after 7 days.

Its not panicky. Its boundaries. They have an addiction. I dont need to support it in my household. If you cant stop for a week, stay somewhere else.

So then, don't. Why look for validation here? Tell your BIL "we don't like you because of your addiction and you can't stay with us."

+1 I would expect your relationship with your ILs and possibly husband to suffer from this. Have him wear a jacket, wash afterwards and find a way to contain his butts. Unless your kids are planning on standing outside with him they won’t be exposed to 2nd hand smoke. It sounds like you know you’re being a jerk but are hoping you can cite DCUM to convince your husband otherwise?

That post was not the OP- it was me, a different poster, responding to the ignorance poster. There are plenty of medications to help people stop smoking.

[Anonymous]

Hard no. Let this be a lesson to him. Smoking is antisocial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hard no. That is disgusting.

Not nearly as disgusting as not helping your brother in the time of need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

+1 billion
There's so many ignorant people around it's sad. Yes, the lingering smell is unpleasant, I get it, but if you're not directly inhaling the smoke, nothing's going to happen to your precious health after 7 days.

Its not panicky. Its boundaries. They have an addiction. I dont need to support it in my household. If you cant stop for a week, stay somewhere else.

So then, don't. Why look for validation here? Tell your BIL "we don't like you because of your addiction and you can't stay with us."

+1 I would expect your relationship with your ILs and possibly husband to suffer from this. Have him wear a jacket, wash afterwards and find a way to contain his butts. Unless your kids are planning on standing outside with him they won’t be exposed to 2nd hand smoke. It sounds like you know you’re being a jerk but are hoping you can cite DCUM to convince your husband otherwise?

That post was not the OP- it was me, a different poster, responding to the ignorance poster. There are plenty of medications to help people stop smoking.

I know, but apparently, they are still to find a remedy for a stick-up-your-ass disease.

[Anonymous]

Smoking is harder to quit than heroin. How about some compassion for a family member who's going through a hard time?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

+1 billion
There's so many ignorant people around it's sad. Yes, the lingering smell is unpleasant, I get it, but if you're not directly inhaling the smoke, nothing's going to happen to your precious health after 7 days.

Its not panicky. Its boundaries. They have an addiction. I dont need to support it in my household. If you cant stop for a week, stay somewhere else.

So then, don't. Why look for validation here? Tell your BIL "we don't like you because of your addiction and you can't stay with us."

+1 I would expect your relationship with your ILs and possibly husband to suffer from this. Have him wear a jacket, wash afterwards and find a way to contain his butts. Unless your kids are planning on standing outside with him they won’t be exposed to 2nd hand smoke. It sounds like you know you’re being a jerk but are hoping you can cite DCUM to convince your husband otherwise?

That post was not the OP- it was me, a different poster, responding to the ignorance poster. There are plenty of medications to help people stop smoking.

There are, but they aren’t magical quick fixes that will work by this weekend.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Do some research on third hand smoke. It will never fully leave your home.

[Anonymous]

FFS, he's family.

Of course he can stay with you.

JFC

[Anonymous]

I would say no due to smoking and covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what smoking jackets are made for. Have him hang his coat outside and wash his hands AND face when he comes in.

Realistically, 2 weeks of exposure to residual smoke on your BIL is going to have zero health consequences for you or your kids.

This. I'd ask he cut back, smoke outside and clean up the butts, and leave his coat outside.

Smokers are gross, sorry. Their smoke is gross. Their littered butts are gross. They stink, even if they think they don't. But, it's two weeks. I'd probably be able to suck it up subject to that, for a couple of weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Do some research on third hand smoke. It will never fully leave your home.

Third hand smoke is when someone smokes inside a room and the residue falls onto carpets and hard surfaces and builds up over time. It can be cleaned with vacuuming and cleaning surfaces however cannot be aired out of a room. Smokers can reduce the risk of contamination from their hands by washing their hands. It can also remain on clothing so what next will you stop your kids from hugging their uncle?

OP if your brother needs help, it is for 1-2 weeks. The damage is done via constant exposure, over a long time. I would ask him to smoke outside and wash his hands. Wear a different jacket etc.