Letting a smoker stay with you

[Anonymous]

This is pretty easy.

He stops smoking completely or he doesn’t stay with you.

One week of nicotine gum won’t kill him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is third hand smoke?

Surfaces. It’s lingers on clothes, which get on furniture. Then kids touch a chair and eat a snack without washing hands.

What are the dangers?

[Anonymous]

OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is third hand smoke?

Surfaces. It’s lingers on clothes, which get on furniture. Then kids touch a chair and eat a snack without washing hands.

What are the dangers?

Virtually none.

[Anonymous]

A leak is a pretty urgent situation, and I don’t think a pack-a-day smoker can just suddenly quit for a week, even with nicotine gum.

If this is a huge imposition for you, I would find him a cheap hotel. This will probably cause an issue with your husband and his family, so be prepared for fallout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is pretty easy.

He stops smoking completely or he doesn’t stay with you.

One week of nicotine gum won’t kill him.

No, it isn't 'pretty easy'! What planet do you live on?
OP, in all honesty, have the guy brush his teeth, wash his hands every time he comes in from smoking outside. A week of this is not going to kill you or even stink up your place. It's unpleasant but manageable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

+1 billion
There's so many ignorant people around it's sad. Yes, the lingering smell is unpleasant, I get it, but if you're not directly inhaling the smoke, nothing's going to happen to your precious health after 7 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

+1 billion
There's so many ignorant people around it's sad. Yes, the lingering smell is unpleasant, I get it, but if you're not directly inhaling the smoke, nothing's going to happen to your precious health after 7 days.

Seriously - there were people who did not smoke when the vast majority of society did in the 20th century and they did not have their eyes fall out, etc. I can understand not liking the smell, but I often don't like the smell of other people's perfumes and I sure as heck do not like the smell of scented candles, diffusers, etc., but I can live through it when I visit family.

If you don't like him, fine. But if he only smokes outside and really needs a place to stay for one week, get over yourself, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

+1 billion
There's so many ignorant people around it's sad. Yes, the lingering smell is unpleasant, I get it, but if you're not directly inhaling the smoke, nothing's going to happen to your precious health after 7 days.

Its not panicky. Its boundaries. They have an addiction. I dont need to support it in my household. If you cant stop for a week, stay somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

+1 billion
There's so many ignorant people around it's sad. Yes, the lingering smell is unpleasant, I get it, but if you're not directly inhaling the smoke, nothing's going to happen to your precious health after 7 days.

Its not panicky. Its boundaries. They have an addiction. I dont need to support it in my household. If you cant stop for a week, stay somewhere else.

So then, don't. Why look for validation here? Tell your BIL "we don't like you because of your addiction and you can't stay with us."

[Anonymous]

He smokes outside - always - or he isn't staying at your house. This is your husband's decision. It's communicated by him (even if DH is mostly respecting your wishes)

If guest ever violates that rule, he is immediately gone.

[Anonymous]

Hard no. That is disgusting.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are entitled to a preference in your own home. For whatever reason. For no reason. You have no responsibility to justify your preference. It's a preference. That's powerful enough.

[Anonymous]

It seems weird to be worried about the smoking outside but not COVID.

I would say no unless he has been staying at home. If he has, I would say yes but he has a coat outside he wears for smoking and he washes his hand when he comes in. The door to where he sleeps stays closed (because all of his stuff is going to smell, too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG so many insanely panicky people. A week of second hand or third-hand smoke is NOT GOING TO IMPACT YOUR HEALTH. Stop this nonsense. Plenty of people grew up in households with both parents smoking a pack every day inside and lived to tell about it. I can't stand ignorant people. You all eat the meat from the grocery store, right? It's bound to be more harmful to you than OP's BIL staying with her for a week.

+1 billion
There's so many ignorant people around it's sad. Yes, the lingering smell is unpleasant, I get it, but if you're not directly inhaling the smoke, nothing's going to happen to your precious health after 7 days.

Its not panicky. Its boundaries. They have an addiction. I dont need to support it in my household. If you cant stop for a week, stay somewhere else.

So then, don't. Why look for validation here? Tell your BIL "we don't like you because of your addiction and you can't stay with us."

+1 I would expect your relationship with your ILs and possibly husband to suffer from this. Have him wear a jacket, wash afterwards and find a way to contain his butts. Unless your kids are planning on standing outside with him they won’t be exposed to 2nd hand smoke. It sounds like you know you’re being a jerk but are hoping you can cite DCUM to convince your husband otherwise?