Sister and her constant health “issues”

[Anonymous]

It’s terrible to have an undiagnosed condition that is very painful. You get the you are crazy attention seeker from those you most hope would support you. Don’t be that person OP or just step back if you can’t help but judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP. Also, why the quotation around "issues"? If she has them.

Exactly. She actually had the problem and the sister was an a-hole jerk.

[Anonymous]

Team sister.

[Anonymous]

This whole thread highlights how we as a society take for granted those suffering from chronic illness and pain. Even if for a minute you believe it IS “all in her head” that is still mental illness that is taking a real, physical toll on her body. You can decide that you as her sister don’t want to deal with it/don’t have the bandwidth to be her support...but you need to own that and not blame her for it.

[Anonymous]

Invisible pain - pain that is constant and unremitting - wears you down. Your sister probably just needed the validation of someone she loves and thought would be supportive. Did she ask you to drop all and come to these ER visits? Did she expect you to pay her rent? Nerve pain - especially when it’s just there and your quality of life just slowly degrades makes it hard to see any bright side in your day.

You can’t take back the coldness you’ve shown but perhaps you could check in without being asked and think of how you can add a little joy and connection to her life.

[Anonymous]

I am 44 and she’s is 30. I love my sister, shes extremely intelligent, funny and generous. However, she can also be her manipulative. I think I am frustrated because it has been over a year since she went to the ER and I felt she was finally at a better place with all this medical drama. I do recognize that if she ends up having spinal surgery this is very serious. I am worried about her. This is going to sound terrible, but I feel like this is one those situations where she went from specialist to specialist until someone agreed something was wrong with her. We all have minor medical issues that if we had dozens of scans, and test run, they would find something too.

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What you say is: "I am sorry I didnt listen to you before. I am sorry that I made you feel shamed or lonely or unsupported. I am willing to work on it. Do you need someone to come with you to your appointments to take notes so that you can focus on the doctor? How are you feeling"?

This. Eating crow is your only option as a civilized human. You're not in control of whether she makes an unduly big deal out of anything after that. You're only in control of you. And you have behavior to apologize for here, so do it.

[Anonymous]

Over a year since she first went to the ER! You don't have any chronic health problems that were hard to diagnose, I see. If you did, you'd be far less convinced that the fact that it took a year to figure out is evidence that it's not a real issue.

To be honest, a year seems on the low side to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 44 and she’s is 30. I love my sister, shes extremely intelligent, funny and generous. However, she can also be her manipulative. I think I am frustrated because it has been over a year since she went to the ER and I felt she was finally at a better place with all this medical drama. I do recognize that if she ends up having spinal surgery this is very serious. I am worried about her. This is going to sound terrible, but I feel like this is one those situations where she went from specialist to specialist until someone agreed something was wrong with her. We all have minor medical issues that if we had dozens of scans, and test run, they would find something too.

-OP

OMG. You are hopeless. You have no idea what it's like to have spinal issues and be dismissed by practitioners. This isn't a "minor" issue. Neurosurgery is a very scary thing. You need help.

[Anonymous]

You obviously have no idea what it's like to know that something is wrong but not have anyone be able to figure out what it is. She has a legitimate issue, this isn't attention seeking behavior.

[Anonymous]

Troll post. Only someone who was pathological could be that cold hearted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 44 and she’s is 30. I love my sister, shes extremely intelligent, funny and generous. However, she can also be her manipulative. I think I am frustrated because it has been over a year since she went to the ER and I felt she was finally at a better place with all this medical drama. I do recognize that if she ends up having spinal surgery this is very serious. I am worried about her. This is going to sound terrible, but I feel like this is one those situations where she went from specialist to specialist until someone agreed something was wrong with her. We all have minor medical issues that if we had dozens of scans, and test run, they would find something too.

-OP

OMG OP. Your sister is having NEUROSURGERY!! This is not a minor thing, and no surgeon recommends it for funsies, especially in a pandemic. This is not a minor issue, it is a major one.

I rarely say this on DCUM, but you are a horrible, awful person, OP. You are the drama queen here and you owe your sister a huge apology for your self-absorbed behavior. Damn, what a jerk!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 44 and she’s is 30. I love my sister, shes extremely intelligent, funny and generous. However, she can also be her manipulative. I think I am frustrated because it has been over a year since she went to the ER and I felt she was finally at a better place with all this medical drama. I do recognize that if she ends up having spinal surgery this is very serious. I am worried about her. This is going to sound terrible, but I feel like this is one those situations where she went from specialist to specialist until someone agreed something was wrong with her. We all have minor medical issues that if we had dozens of scans, and test run, they would find something too.

-OP

Wow. Your poor sister. I hope she has a support system because you’re certainly not it.

This is one of those times when one wants to believe in karma.

[Anonymous]

Just carry on from here. You say "I'm glad you're finally getting some answers to your medical concerns. So what's the next step this doctor is advising?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 44 and she’s is 30. I love my sister, shes extremely intelligent, funny and generous. However, she can also be her manipulative. I think I am frustrated because it has been over a year since she went to the ER and I felt she was finally at a better place with all this medical drama. I do recognize that if she ends up having spinal surgery this is very serious. I am worried about her. This is going to sound terrible, but I feel like this is one those situations where she went from specialist to specialist until someone agreed something was wrong with her. We all have minor medical issues that if we had dozens of scans, and test run, they would find something too.

-OP

Wow. Your poor sister. I hope she has a support system because you’re certainly not it.

This is one of those times when one wants to believe in karma.

You are unbelievable. A syrinx is not a minor medical issue and it is visible on an MRI. It presses on nerves and even alters your cerebral fluid. You really are a truly awful person.