Bedtime is hell with my almost-10-year-old

[Anonymous]

If possible, I would have her shower before dinner. Then you might try reading to her in her bed, to get her there and promote a positive association with it. I would not allow her in your room and would lock the door to keep her out. You go to her. If it is anxiety, you want the safe place to be her room. Not yours.

[Anonymous]

Or... if none of the suggestions work do what I’m doing. Make them get a lot of exercise during the day then give them extra screen time at night and let them stay up late. Go to bed when you want. Don’t care if they go to bed after you. Have their devices turn off with controls at some awful time in the night and tell them they can do this again if they are quiet, let you sleep and get up when asked for class. Preserve everyone’s sanity because this won’t last forever. Signed - parent of the year

[Anonymous]

How did bedtime go tonight OP?

[Anonymous]

Melatonin and magnesium (Calm).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Melatonin and magnesium (Calm).

If it fails, NyQuill - until she resets her bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If possible, I would have her shower before dinner. Then you might try reading to her in her bed, to get her there and promote a positive association with it. I would not allow her in your room and would lock the door to keep her out. You go to her. If it is anxiety, you want the safe place to be her room. Not yours.

You are nuts.

[Anonymous]

Do not drug your child. These parents who are drugging their children are setting them up for later drug and alcohol dependency. Been there, lived it.

[Anonymous]

Does she have blue light blocking glasses?

No electronics of any kind starting at 6. It sounds like needs an earlier bedtime. If kids miss the bedtime they need that can stay really late and it is miserable. My 11 yr old is like this. If he isn't asleep by 9 he can't sleep and it is a mess.

Shower in the morning or the afternoon before dinner.

What is she doing for exercise? I think she needs to go on a bike ride with you guys in the evening after dinner.

Finally agree with pp that this is what anxiety looks like in some kids.

[Anonymous]

^^^what makes me think anxiety is you can't bribe her to stay in bed and she is 10. That says there is something going on IMO (with pandemic, no surprise there)

[Anonymous]

Does she have ADHD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If possible, I would have her shower before dinner. Then you might try reading to her in her bed, to get her there and promote a positive association with it. I would not allow her in your room and would lock the door to keep her out. You go to her. If it is anxiety, you want the safe place to be her room. Not yours.

You are nuts.

Why is that nuts? I'd do the same. If she won't respect the boundaries of not being in my room, then I'll enforce it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If possible, I would have her shower before dinner. Then you might try reading to her in her bed, to get her there and promote a positive association with it. I would not allow her in your room and would lock the door to keep her out. You go to her. If it is anxiety, you want the safe place to be her room. Not yours.

You are nuts.

Why is that nuts? I'd do the same. If she won't respect the boundaries of not being in my room, then I'll enforce it.

If you have to lock the door to keep out your child you are doing something wrong.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure if I'd necessarily lock the door, but I do think this calls for some "cry it out method" pre-teen style. At some point, you and your husband have to go to bed and just ignore the tantrums and whines.

And as a PP said, I'd absolutely lose my shit if a kid was jumping on my bed at 10 at night wanting to play. Absolutely no screens (or whatever her currency is) for quite a while if she did that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If possible, I would have her shower before dinner. Then you might try reading to her in her bed, to get her there and promote a positive association with it. I would not allow her in your room and would lock the door to keep her out. You go to her. If it is anxiety, you want the safe place to be her room. Not yours.

You are nuts.

Why is that nuts? I'd do the same. If she won't respect the boundaries of not being in my room, then I'll enforce it.

Ridiculous suggestion because a 9-10 yr old who would do this will get in to worse trouble I'd unsupervised in the middle of the night. This is clearly not a kid who will just sit in their room reading a book at that time. She sounds overexcited and with impulse control problems. Untreated ADHD is a good bet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure if I'd necessarily lock the door, but I do think this calls for some "cry it out method" pre-teen style. At some point, you and your husband have to go to bed and just ignore the tantrums and whines.

And as a PP said, I'd absolutely lose my shit if a kid was jumping on my bed at 10 at night wanting to play. Absolutely no screens (or whatever her currency is) for quite a while if she did that.

You have to treat the problem, not the symptom. They sound like they are not parenting the kid they have the way she needs to be parented right now. That the dh has OCD is significant.