Curious... it it important to you to be in the popular mom clique?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but I couldn’t even identify this group of moms at my child’s school. Sounds like something that might happen in the suburbs?

Oh FFS. Like drama doesn’t happen in cities

Oh yeah this 100% happens in my neighborhood in NW DC.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s definitely a UMC suburban thing. All the parents in the group are obsessed with their kids being popular and athletes. When they are younger, they constantly talk about the prestigious schools their kids will play sports for. They spend a lot of money on travel leagues and private coaches. Most of the kids never actually do play a sport for college anyways so it was a lot of money and effort and talk for basically nothing. The parents spend money for their kids to stand out whether it is on designer clothes or a fancy car. They are more interesting in their kids being admired and getting invited to parties than being good human being and learning. And for what? No clue.

[Anonymous]

Eh? Da wha?

[Anonymous]

I feel like these queen bee cliques must be hating the quarantine. Much harder to puff your feathers in front of the school every morning. Chicken heads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the fringe of it, and... that's where I'd like to stay. In the group enough to occasionally be included in a group text and hear the gossip about what's going on at school and invited to fundraisers, but not to group vacations or birthday parties. It's been helpful for hearing about activities and extracurriculars for my kid (pre-Covid anyway)

Same. I find it helpful to know a couple of those moms, but I'm not in the thick of it. Anyway, this all goes away in later elementary school or middle school when kids can make their own friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a biglaw attorney. I feel very frozen out of the SAHM/mommy track clique at my kids’ private. I don’t even think about it 95% of the time (I’m a younger mom and most of my friends are still childless so I have a busy social life) but I do feel the sting at school events.

In my DD's school, this is not about SAHM vs WOHM. The "popular" kids moms almost all work full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s definitely a UMC suburban thing. All the parents in the group are obsessed with their kids being popular and athletes. When they are younger, they constantly talk about the prestigious schools their kids will play sports for. They spend a lot of money on travel leagues and private coaches. Most of the kids never actually do play a sport for college anyways so it was a lot of money and effort and talk for basically nothing. The parents spend money for their kids to stand out whether it is on designer clothes or a fancy car. They are more interesting in their kids being admired and getting invited to parties than being good human being and learning. And for what? No clue.

Yes, because if Manhattan is known for one thing, it’s NOT being status-conscious.

You got it, PP.

This is an UMC suburban thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Inspired by this!

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/888270.page

Yeah, we know. It’s like rubbernecking a wreck on the highway, op.

There’s one mom chronically being left out of neighborhood events—even a car parade in her neighborhood. People are so petty that they won’t extend a silly invite to a car parade.

LOL. I think I’m that mom and I have zero desire to be included. It all looks so exhausting to me.

I don’t think this poor woman has social aspirations to be in the in-crowd, but the constant snubbing and even during a pandemic no less. She was probably at her breaking point.

[Anonymous]

I know exactly who you mean and yes it’s very important to them. They make me extremely uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Most of the “popular” moms try to succeed at this because at some level they failed at real life. Not like got pregnant at 16, never had a job failed, but somewhere along the way, they settled. Professionally, personally—at some point, they Settled or gave up or got pushed out or just flat-out failed.So now their kid’s school is something they can “succeed” at. People with real things to do don’t have time for that. I’m happy to be doing my own thing. I’m nice enough to them; they’re nice enough to me. Some are insecure but mostly harmless. Others are insecure but downright nasty. Either way, I have no interest in competing for a fake prize that some moms just made up so they have something to compete for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the “popular” moms try to succeed at this because at some level they failed at real life. Not like got pregnant at 16, never had a job failed, but somewhere along the way, they settled. Professionally, personally—at some point, they Settled or gave up or got pushed out or just flat-out failed.So now their kid’s school is something they can “succeed” at. People with real things to do don’t have time for that. I’m happy to be doing my own thing. I’m nice enough to them; they’re nice enough to me. Some are insecure but mostly harmless. Others are insecure but downright nasty. Either way, I have no interest in competing for a fake prize that some moms just made up so they have something to compete for.

+1 Women who strive towards this don't have enough going on in their own lives. If you did, you would have no time to be nasty to others.

[Anonymous]

No, because they are mostly SAHMs who are not that interesting or accomplished anyway. (And don’t try to tell me the SAHMs you know are all highly educated former doctors and lawyers - most of them are not, even in wealthy areas). True, there are some WOHMs who feed off of this crap, but most do not have the time for it.

[Anonymous]

I think our school has a special mom group, but here are more women who don't care to be in it than do. Both groups get along fine though.

[Anonymous]

No because, luckily, I’m no longer in high school.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. I do wish i had some mom friends, popular or not. All my friends are from work or grad school. I have not been able to make any mom friends at all.