Curious... it it important to you to be in the popular mom clique?

[Anonymous]

I didn't think so, but..when our kids all started pre-k together, I was in that group. But, now that they're in second grade I'm not anymore and it bothers me. I don't know if it's because I work full time and they don't, or they just don't like me, but admittedly when I see them all together on FB or events and I'm no longer included it bothers me. Especially since their kids are the popular kids, so my son isn't in that clique anymore either.

[Anonymous]

I'm so out of touch I have to admit I don't know who the popular mom clique is in our schools/neighborhood.

I haven't really thought about "popularity" since college. And I'm 44 now so long time ago. Both my kids (elementary and middle school) seem to be friends with moms who are nice, so that's been good.

[Anonymous]

If you work, I don't know how you have time or space to really be a part of mom anything. I work. I don't know any mothers at school except two or three ladies whose children my son is friends with. I am friends with most moms in my daughter's preschool class but there's only 8 of us. Most of my mom friends are from my son's preschool days and none of these kids attend the same schools.

I don't volunteer at school. I don't know of any neighborhood mom groups. Wouldn't care if they existed. How do you have time to keep up with all that?

[Anonymous]

This is weird. No I’m not worried.

[Anonymous]

Is it important to me to be in the what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but I couldn’t even identify this group of moms at my child’s school. Sounds like something that might happen in the suburbs?

Oh FFS. Like drama doesn’t happen in cities

I just love that I learned "FFS". I work in health policy and it usually means "fee-for-service" but I knew immediately what it meant in this context. Checking the box on the new thing I learned today!

[Anonymous]

no. if anything I've tried to studiously avoid getting involved in parent politics. my daughter has a big personality and has lots of friends, but that has nothing to do with me. I'm an introvert and I work and don't give an F, tbh.

[Anonymous]

I actually avoid the moms who look like they could be the "queen bee" moms because I'm intimidated and it seems too stressful. I don't want the pressure of being cool. I'm awkward and nerdy at heart and I don't want to watch every single thing I say. I was the same in high school - avoided the popular kids because it seemed stressful... part of a tiny, comfortable tight knit group that's still close 20 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't think so, but..when our kids all started pre-k together, I was in that group. But, now that they're in second grade I'm not anymore and it bothers me. I don't know if it's because I work full time and they don't, or they just don't like me, but admittedly when I see them all together on FB or events and I'm no longer included it bothers me. Especially since their kids are the popular kids, so my son isn't in that clique anymore either.

It’s quite possible the two are unrelated. And if they’re not, they will be soon enough.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that exists at my sons' preschool. Or maybe that just means I'm not part of it

Either way, I've always been sort of a lone wolf... never been part of the in-crowd.

It used to bother me but not as much anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you work, I don't know how you have time or space to really be a part of mom anything. I work. I don't know any mothers at school except two or three ladies whose children my son is friends with. I am friends with most moms in my daughter's preschool class but there's only 8 of us. Most of my mom friends are from my son's preschool days and none of these kids attend the same schools.

I don't volunteer at school. I don't know of any neighborhood mom groups. Wouldn't care if they existed. How do you have time to keep up with all that?

Because I like to make time for my friends, including those friends who have children who are friends with my children. I work full-time, as does my husband, but we both make time for friends. In case you're curious, the fact that you don't doesn't make you better than me. (Nor does the fact that I do make me better than you, of course, but you seem to have a real air of superiority around your life that is so busy you can't make time for friends.)

[Anonymous]

It is important to me to be in a group of moms with whom I get along. However, I am pretty sure we are not the popular mom clique since we are not the richest, the most well-dressed, the most involved, or the best looking (are those the things you use to decide who is popular?!?). I choose my friends based on how much I enjoy spending time with them, and if that happened to be the popular mom clique, then I'd be fine being friends with them, but I think I'm too quirky to ever really fit in with that crowd.

[Anonymous]

I work full time so I have no time to even think about it or even to know if it exists at our school. If it does it must be a SAHM group. My friends are a mix of SAHM and work outside the home moms but it’s certainly not a clique. Is the popular mom clique the ones always wearing yoga pants and puffy vests at drop off?

[Anonymous]

I’m unaware of a group like this at my kids private school, and I SAH and am involved in volunteering at the school.

[Anonymous]

As a teacher I can tell you it’s really important to so many people. It’s so sad to see the dynamics between the cool parents and those wanting to be apart of the group of popular parents. Some moms are so desperate they even request their kids be put in the same class. There are nice popular moms and there are mean popular moms and I will tell you that the mean popular moms often have mean kids.