Wow. Quarantine made me realize I don’t like my kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work in a school (though am not a teacher). So many kids are unlikeable these days because parents refuse to parent.

With 1 or 2 kids, sure. With 4+ kids, there's always one who the parents don't like because of the kid's personality.

I can think of two large families off the top of my head with very obvious kids that the parents don't like.

The parents managed to parent the other dozen of collective kids just fine. Those two kids just have something wrong that makes them unpleasant to be around.

Teachers dread getting one of them in their class. They're known throughout the school.

Bad seeds from bad parents.

Seems like your parents did something terribly wrong so that may be true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work in a school (though am not a teacher). So many kids are unlikeable these days because parents refuse to parent.

+1. Kids are a reflection of their parents and their ability to parent. Always.

So, how do you explain the huge differences we see in so many families?

[Anonymous]

Well I think now is a good time to work on some of these issues. These past 6ish weeks I've noticed some behaviors from DS that I hadn't really noticed before. Or if I did, I kind of passed it off as he was tired after a long day at school (he's in 1st grade). So we have been working hard on those things. A big part of it is the age and him not always understanding his tone of voice or him still trying to figure.out how to regulate frustration etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work in a school (though am not a teacher). So many kids are unlikeable these days because parents refuse to parent.

+1. Kids are a reflection of their parents and their ability to parent. Always.

So, how do you explain the huge differences we see in so many families?

I think that just proves the point further. Kids are individuals and need different things.

[Anonymous]

Nobody wants to be around the same people nonstop for six weeks, even Mother Theresa would seem obnoxious if you were quarantined with her endlessly. I wouldn’t overthink it. Your child will seem delightful when school and work give you a break from each other once again.

[Anonymous]

I think my situation is different because my DD’s teachers live her and have never complained about her, but I am also having a hard time with her. She is my middle child and she is 4.5. She has always been the more difficult if the 3, but during this quarantine she has been something else. I think the main issue is that she does not have her space anymore. She is always with older sis and never with same age kids. I think that is tough to have an older sibling that is always better at everything than you (because she is 2 years older). My DD has not found her place in this new reality and is a little anxious and nervous...
is it possible that your son is going through something similar?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 kids is too many. Of course you are going to hate some of them. Should have stuck with two good-quality ones instead.

I have 4 and mine are all pretty awesome.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of the two boys who live across the street, 5 and 7. The most annoying children I have ever seen. And when I see how their parents DON’T parent, it is obvious why they are that way.

Both parents work (totally fine, not looking to get into Mommy wars), but I’ve noticed on weekends before the pandemic that the parents can’t seem to handle their kids on their own. Grandparents are constantly involved, parents frequently going out with friends, etc. Those kids aren’t being parented consistently AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm. Well, that's unfortunate.

But, umm make a plan. As the parent, it's kinda your job to make him less obnoxious.

For example:
If you complain again this morning you'll lose your screen time for today.

If that doesn't work, try something else. Help him find some interests.

Also, could he have adhd or high functioning autism. I say this because my son does and he seems a little like what you describe. He does better with ritalin. Much less obnoxious.
Get him on the list to be evaluated if you think this could be the case. The waiting lists are often a year or two long.

Please don’t foist a diagnosis on this kid. The parent sounds like an absolute prat.

Any advice for them, then? Or do you just want to criticize others' responses. i said "if" you think this could the case. There's no foisting going on. There is, however, suggesting talking to a professional, which, honestly, can't hurt.

The op is just discovering his 8 year old can be annoying and is addicted to screens and teasing his siblings. Shocking.

The parent needs to spend more quality time with their kid.

[Anonymous]

I agree with on PP that this is a unique opportunity to find some strategies that might help this child be less annoying.

It's also an opportunity for you to have more sympathy for those of us who are trying to corral and educate 20+ kids while one (or two, or three) are unable to control their impulse to be the annoying center of attention all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else?

I have 4. My oldest two and youngest can be obnoxious and have their moments but my 8-year-old is so unpleasant to be around. I realize in small doses (weekends, evenings) I can handle it but this 24/7 thing with him has been terrible. He complains constantly, is a terrible student, is impossible to teach and is only happy when staring at a screen or annoying the shit of his siblings. I’d say this was just the age but I think it’s just him. Teachers have made comments but seeing it all first hand has been very eye opening.

Teacher here. Yeah, we don't make this stuff up.

And when a teacher tells me something, I act on it rather than waiting to see it first-hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work in a school (though am not a teacher). So many kids are unlikeable these days because parents refuse to parent.

+1. Kids are a reflection of their parents and their ability to parent. Always.

They aren’t!!!! My parents were the same parents to all 4 of us. I was the only one constantly in trouble in school in ballet in sports always. I had pretty severe ADHD that wasn’t diagnosed until college. Don’t be a presumptuous twat. Each child is who they are regardless of how wonderful or terrible their parents are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work in a school (though am not a teacher). So many kids are unlikeable these days because parents refuse to parent.

+1. Kids are a reflection of their parents and their ability to parent. Always.

Eh. I don't know. Some kids are just prickly. Mine was from the womb.

I think you must have 1-2 kids, max, to have this feeling. I don't like it when people are critical of only kids but being critical of only parents for having myopic and inflated sense of their impact is a different story...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else?

I have 4. My oldest two and youngest can be obnoxious and have their moments but my 8-year-old is so unpleasant to be around. I realize in small doses (weekends, evenings) I can handle it but this 24/7 thing with him has been terrible. He complains constantly, is a terrible student, is impossible to teach and is only happy when staring at a screen or annoying the shit of his siblings. I’d say this was just the age but I think it’s just him. Teachers have made comments but seeing it all first hand has been very eye opening.

Probably the third child is suffering from neglect at being in the middle. What is the age gap between him and youngest? Why not try positive rewards rather than negative? Is he the only boy? Try to change the relationship for his sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work in a school (though am not a teacher). So many kids are unlikeable these days because parents refuse to parent.

+1. Kids are a reflection of their parents and their ability to parent. Always.

They aren’t!!!! My parents were the same parents to all 4 of us. I was the only one constantly in trouble in school in ballet in sports always. I had pretty severe ADHD that wasn’t diagnosed until college. Don’t be a presumptuous twat. Each child is who they are regardless of how wonderful or terrible their parents are.

There you have it. Children are individuals with vastly different personalities and needs — of course if you try to parent each one the exact same it’s not going to end well!