I kicked my husband out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound a little psychotic.

+1. So if you had gotten pregnant then you would have stayed with him? Crazy logic.

[Anonymous]

I remember you OP. I think this is the best for both of you.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How exactly does one spouse "kick out" a co-owner of their house?

Well he doesn't like it but I really insisted because i need space. I will pay for all expenses from here and and not burden him in anyway. I will buy him out and he will get his fair share.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like it's for the best, OP. He's not the right person for you.

[Anonymous]

I agree that most adults have a very poor understanding of female fertility and how it actually begins to decline in the late 20s. By mid 30s, the decline is significant enough that at 35 women get the designation of AMA.

And, yes, everyone on this board just LOVES to drag out that Atlantic piece from a few years ago that claims that fertility barely declines until a woman is in her late 30s, and that any fertility issues that crop up in the mid-30s must have been there all along. Uh huh. Right.

However, in reality, I am surrounded by women who are going through exactly what you have been through. It works out for some of them, and it doesn't for others. I agree with one of the PPs in that this board is filled with people it worked out for. IRL, I know remarkably few women who have had multiple kids after they were 33 or so without some kind of intervention. Yes, historically, women have always had kids into their early 40s, but those women absolutely were NOT having their FIRST pregnancies anywhere near that age. It's more like they had been having kids for 15-20 years leading up to their early 40s pregnancy, so their bodies knew the drill. They also weren't working stressful big law (or something similar) hours for many years leading up to trying to get pregnant.

OP, I think many of the PPs have been nasty. That's just the way this board is. I am so sorry your husband did this to you. I hope you still find a way to become a mom if that is what you want. All the best. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How exactly does one spouse "kick out" a co-owner of their house?

+1. Unless there is more to the story than you’re saying, brace yourself. You have the ability to refinance but you don’t have the right to make him leave or to force the sale in the way you seem to think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly does one spouse "kick out" a co-owner of their house?

+1. Unless there is more to the story than you’re saying, brace yourself. You have the ability to refinance but you don’t have the right to make him leave or to force the sale in the way you seem to think.

And I’d expect him to come back once he realizes this.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t even meet my husband until I was 36, and 15 years later we’re married with two kids. If you really want children, op, it’s way too early to throw in the towel at 35 and one year of trying. If you want kids with him, work on solutions for that, if you went to divorce him, then move forward on that, but to say you’re not ever having kids because you didn’t start trying until you were 34, well that is just not reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly does one spouse "kick out" a co-owner of their house?

+1. Unless there is more to the story than you’re saying, brace yourself. You have the ability to refinance but you don’t have the right to make him leave or to force the sale in the way you seem to think.

And I’d expect him to come back once he realizes this.

Well I hope he just takes the cash I will give him and gets himself an apartment. Not sure why 2 adults without kids divorcing needs to be a big deal. I actually don't think this will be a problem for us. We both keep it very clean financially and we don't have financial disagreements or issues. Cut in the middle and done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have posted before. You might recognize me. I got married at 29 to an aspiring academic. I followed him around for 5 years, moving every year, until he finally got a tenure-track job. During this time he refused to start a family. Like an idiot I did not leave when I was 32/33 like I should have. I am now 35 and we have been trying for over a year. I have had 1 eptopic pregnacy, one miscarriage at 11 weeks, and 3 chemical pregnancies. Just had another this weekend. I honestly am at peace if I can't have kids (obviously divorcing him now at 35 makes that unlikely given the issues I've been having especially), but I just can't forgive him knowing that he put his own priorities ahead of mine for years. I made all of the sacrifices for the life he wanted, and I just can't do that anymore.

Anyway, I haven't told anyone yet. I am afraid. But I think I came to the end. I will refinance the house in my own name and start over. I have a good job, and I'll go about living the life that I want to live now. I am just so mad at myself for shortchanging myself so much in earlier years.

I don't have a question, but I wanted to write this here because I needed to share with someone. I will share with friends and family when I feel ready. Thanks for listening.

This sounds really hard. I hope you find peace and happiness. Don't let statistics get you down - go for everything you want.

[Anonymous]

are u sure your age had to do with it? it could really well be the same risks are there even at a younger age. pinning all on him is not fair.... just sayin'

[Anonymous]

Well how can you get pregnant if you kick out the man who’s supposed to get you pregnant?

You’re not 40 or 45. You’re 35 and you still have time. Yeah he was trying to pursue a career, but how can you have kids and have no way of paying for them? Kids are expensive.

Sorry but you sound selfish and it’s all about you. Good things come to those that wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He may not have felt like you were making all the sacrifices. He may have felt it was not prudent to bring a child into the world until his career was a sure thing. Many men feel a need to be able to provide for their families.

Also, you have nothing to be afraid of.

ITA with this

[Anonymous]

You resent him wanting a tenure track before having babies. He sounds responsible you sound irrational

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly does one spouse "kick out" a co-owner of their house?

+1. Unless there is more to the story than you’re saying, brace yourself. You have the ability to refinance but you don’t have the right to make him leave or to force the sale in the way you seem to think.

And I’d expect him to come back once he realizes this.

Well I hope he just takes the cash I will give him and gets himself an apartment. Not sure why 2 adults without kids divorcing needs to be a big deal. I actually don't think this will be a problem for us. We both keep it very clean financially and we don't have financial disagreements or issues. Cut in the middle and done.

Does he have student loan debt?