Mistresses, how do you rationalize dating a married man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they are morally corrupt and selfish and want what they can’t have and could care less if there are children involved or how many lives they implode. The mistress is usually young and unmarried and the thrill of travel and gifts are enticing. Because they are missing a conscious and will rationalize their disgusting behavior. A mistress, who then becomes the new wife will always wear a scarlet letter and rot in hell.

I don’t know how a mistress sleeps at night. The pain children feel is forever. Single men can buy you expensive gifts and travel too.

Maybe you need a reality check. Children pick up on unhappy and dysfunctional marriages. My dad ended up spitting with my mom (who was miserable and angry), and ended up marrying my aunt (not blood related). They shared a bond. Obviously it was hard on me, but he was so much happier, which I accepted as his daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the mistress that became the wife and what they did to them they’ll do to you !

Did that come as a surprise??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm about to become a mistress. Last time we met, he asked me repeatedly and I've thought a lot about it since. We've been friends for 6+ years although I've never met his wife. We don't talk about her or his home life at all.

I guess I'm playing out a cost / benefit analysis in my head, and the upside seems to be winning out? Maybe I'm just more European about these things. He's European, actually, so maybe that mentality has rubbed off on me.

There is a reason you don’t talk about where he sleeps and spends his weekends.

[Anonymous]

Scorned and bitter isn’t an attractive look, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had mistresses. They knew my situation, and they didn't mind. It was fun for them. Mine have all been in their 20s and they said the men they dated in that range were immature and boring. They said it was exciting and interesting to go out with me.

But who knows if they were being truthful.

Did you buy them things? If yes, that makes you a John and them ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they are morally corrupt and selfish and want what they can’t have and could care less if there are children involved or how many lives they implode. The mistress is usually young and unmarried and the thrill of travel and gifts are enticing. Because they are missing a conscious and will rationalize their disgusting behavior. A mistress, who then becomes the new wife will always wear a scarlet letter and rot in hell.

So interesting that you blame the woman, who has never met the wife more than the man, who claims to love the wife and lies to her face everyday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a mistress once in my 20’s and the way I rationalized it is that I did not want to break up the marriage - I was just having fun. I’m happily married now with kids and he seems happily married as well (FB). I think be went through a rough patch with his life when his children were young and that is when we were seeing each other. No idea if he is faithful now. But again, I didn’t and don’t feel guilty because it was relatively brief and I wasn’t breaking up a family.

And if karma bites you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scorned and bitter isn’t an attractive look, OP.

I’m not OP but neither is desperate and whorish.

[Anonymous]

The mistress really has nothing to lose.

There’s also a certain thrill of catching the eye of someone who is supposed to be off the market.

I had a thing with a married man when I was in college. At the time I just thought it was a fun fling and didn’t worry too much about the fact he had a wife and kids.

Now that I’m married myself I am disgusted at my former self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Scorned and bitter isn’t an attractive look, OP.

I’m not OP but neither is desperate and whorish.

He was the desperate one, not me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren’t you asking how married men rationalize having a mistress?

We know men are pigs. We are wondering why women do it.

Not all of them. Your shitty marriage isn’t a reflection on all men.

[Anonymous]

I blame the mistress because they use their youth and vitality to intoxicate the married man who is probably going through a mid-life crisis - is this all there-is, oh look, a younger women is after me - I still got it, mentality; then falls prey to her Venus fly trap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I blame the mistress because they use their youth and vitality to intoxicate the married man who is probably going through a mid-life crisis - is this all there-is, oh look, a younger women is after me - I still got it, mentality; then falls prey to her Venus fly trap.

Hahahahaha (NP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was the mistress that became the wife and what they did to them they’ll do to you !

Did that come as a surprise??

Well in my defense I was really young ! 19. After our divorce in my late 20s I had zero tolerance when I’d meet someone and he started with , “my wife doesn’t understand me and we have an open relationship”. I would respond With, “cool let me have her number to verify”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had mistresses. They knew my situation, and they didn't mind. It was fun for them. Mine have all been in their 20s and they said the men they dated in that range were immature and boring. They said it was exciting and interesting to go out with me.

But who knows if they were being truthful.

Did you buy them things? If yes, that makes you a John and them ...

I didn't buy anything more than when I was single and dating. I paid for our evenings out and sometimes gave a small gift.