My pre teen is overweight

[Anonymous]

My DS is struggling with weight issues and recommended Daisy Miller in Silver Spring. I did a search on the archives here and all the feedback was positive. From her website, her approach seems positive. I've got an appointment scheduled with her in February.

https://www.drdaisy.com/

[Anonymous]

Read Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. I say this as a gay person: she do not need a co plea about her fat body. Because t she does need to understand why we get fat, because fat is just a visible symptom of the underlying metabolic damage that she is doing to herself. It’s the carbs, and all the exercise in the world isn’t going to undo that damage. Even if she could out-exercise the calories, she is still doing damage to herself. You could even read the book as an audiobook together in the car.

Then you take co tell as the parent. Buy nutrient dense food with protein and healthy fats. Learn to cook tasty meals that are low in carbs and have no added sugar. Don’t buy carb crap, period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. I say this as a gay person: she do not need a co plea about her fat body. Because t she does need to understand why we get fat, because fat is just a visible symptom of the underlying metabolic damage that she is doing to herself. It’s the carbs, and all the exercise in the world isn’t going to undo that damage. Even if she could out-exercise the calories, she is still doing damage to herself. You could even read the book as an audiobook together in the car.

Then you take co tell as the parent. Buy nutrient dense food with protein and healthy fats. Learn to cook tasty meals that are low in carbs and have no added sugar. Don’t buy carb crap, period.

Ugh terrible autocorrect and typos on my phone...what I meant was, I say this as a FAT person: she doesn’t need a complex about her body.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I have vivid memories of my pediatrician saying she wasn't worried about my weight. I weighed 142 pounds in the sixth grade - and I was short and one of the youngest in the grade.

I never course-corrected and now I am in my 30s and weight nearly double that 142. I would pay anything to go back in time and change the messages I received when I was young about weight. It's very hard to make real changes after a lifetime of being overweight. Help your daughter now.

[Anonymous]

I was a fat preteen. An aunt shaming me about being big gave me an eating disorder and I lost the weight. Eventually started exercising regularly and recovered from the ED. Hope is not lost, OP!

[Anonymous]

This is the best time to start healthy habits for your own family. You might have to try different eating styles to figure out which one is best for your DD and your family. (I.e. Mediterranean diet vs. low carb vs. Weight Watchers, etc.) But start by cutting out snacks and junk foods. If she wants a snack, she can have fruits and vegetables and a smaller amount of nuts and/or cheese. Cook more at home instead of going out. And eat a little more slowly and encourage portion control. Make all these changes as a family. You’ll all get healthier! Win-win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. I say this as a gay person: she do not need a co plea about her fat body. Because t she does need to understand why we get fat, because fat is just a visible symptom of the underlying metabolic damage that she is doing to herself. It’s the carbs, and all the exercise in the world isn’t going to undo that damage. Even if she could out-exercise the calories, she is still doing damage to herself. You could even read the book as an audiobook together in the car.

Then you take co tell as the parent. Buy nutrient dense food with protein and healthy fats. Learn to cook tasty meals that are low in carbs and have no added sugar. Don’t buy carb crap, period.

Gary Taubes is junk science. Don't read or listen to his books.

[Anonymous]

LOL! The 11 year old got her period because she is overweight. Eyes wide shut for that pp!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a fat preteen. An aunt shaming me about being big gave me an eating disorder and I lost the weight. Eventually started exercising regularly and recovered from the ED. Hope is not lost, OP!

So your aunt did you a huge favor?

[Anonymous]

Does she eat compulsively? (I am willing to bet yes) What is she looking for in food that she is having difficulty finding outside of carbs. Has she had adverse childhood experiences such as abuse or inappropriate behaviour from a parent or relative?

Her brain is craving the chemicals created when she eats these foods. She needs to eat them to feel well. She needs help finding the roots of this and establishing ways to get those feel good feelings without food. This will take time. Taking away the food in the meantime won't help her, it will make it worse.

Try to replace the junk food with more nutrient dense food, even if it is more calories. Like make cookies with almond flour and buy organic versions of treats to slowly wean off all the chemicals and additives in the other crap while still getting the feel good of a brownie.

This is what helped me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family walks/hikes. Make it your New Years resolution.

Agree with this.

Also talk about it in terms of being healthy not weight loss. Not sure what snacks and meals she eats now but make them healthier and don't deny sugar but make it a dessert food not a snack food.

Agree with this. It's about health, not size. There is so much evidence available about how horrible sugar and processed food is for you. A variety of diseases, yes, but it also impacts sleep, learning, mental clarity, mood/happiness, long-term body issues. And learning healthier habits now, and the impact of bad ones, will help her make better choices moving forward.

As a side note, I was a chubby pre-teen. I was shy, self-conscious, and used food as an escape. You may also want to do a check-in with her to make sure there isn't more to her love of carbs and sweets other than a love of carbs and sweets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exercise is only a small part of the battle. Food is 80% of it. You might be able to overcome a bad diet with exercise while young with a screaming metabolism but that won’t last for long.

This. Food is key.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm not sure if you are still reading but there was a great thread about this on the elementary school aged kids board last week.
A pp "cured" her child's obesity (and I know that was hard for you to hear, it was hard for that OP to hear from her child's doctor that she was obese too - it was not on her radar).
Let me find the link.

General gist is that the only evidenced based (meaning studies done with data results back) practice is to massively increase the amounts of fruits and vegetables to like 7 servings per day and be sure she is getting 90 minutes of active play a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm not sure if you are still reading but there was a great thread about this on the elementary school aged kids board last week.
A pp "cured" her child's obesity (and I know that was hard for you to hear, it was hard for that OP to hear from her child's doctor that she was obese too - it was not on her radar).
Let me find the link.

General gist is that the only evidenced based (meaning studies done with data results back) practice is to massively increase the amounts of fruits and vegetables to like 7 servings per day and be sure she is getting 90 minutes of active play a day.

Also, restricting foods does not work for kids. It is not a solution.

[Anonymous]

She can’t lose weight without cutting down intakes. No exercise can burn all that calories at that age.